It was embarrassing. But more than just embarrassing. It was strange and inappropriate and surely, they must have. All of them must think so. He did.
Honestly, do you want to be? Well, undercover, under the mask and the cape and the disguise. But with those kids, there was no hiding anything. No denial, no secrets, because anyone could read your mind at any time. Shit. He should go to Sasha for help on that one-
But, wait, no.
He was a teenager and even though he was, those other kids were still the same. Just, well, certified Psychonauts. Raz was too, naturally, because he was one of them. One of the kids from camp. Only now, there was no camp. There was just Official. Psychonauts. Business. Saving the world's ass, several times over. Nothing too serious.
But even though, despite that he was one, a hero and all, he still went in for training. Why not? He could still use improvement.
But, he had learned, from his mistakes, to stop saying, to stop asking, to stop telling and admitting and, well. He no longer would say where he was going. No more.
Sasha Nein's secret lab.
Where is Sasha Nein?
Have you seen Agent Nein?
I'm going to train with Sasha Nein in his secret lab.
Like it was something to be proud of.
Raz wasn't a showoff, he didn't mean to intimidate the other kids, never, but. That wasn't the case, at least, not now. When they had learned, he had learned, they had all learned.
There was more to making out than just the cute girl over there, or, that hot guy. No, now, it could work either way.
But, do you think that a bunch of freaks would accept that?
Nah, it would make another freak another outcast. Someone the freaks could laugh at.
Even Lili, his damn girlfriend, would laugh at him.
Walking past the kids, only the kids, they would snicker and the bold ones would ask.
"Hey RAAAZZ, going to train with Sasha in his secret lab? And by train, I mean have sex. And by secret lab, I mean bedroom."
Hahaha!
All of them.
"No Bobby."
But he would go anyway, invisible and secretive. Paranoid.
"Here for more training, Razputin?"
He bit his lip and his odd face was redder and lower.
"Yes, I- I have a question."
Sasha turned on his stool, turned to face Raz, the tiny kid.
"How can I be sure that people aren't reading my mind at any time?"
One mistake, one bad thought and then they could all know.
"Ahh, paranoid are we?"
He shrugged. No, no, just careful and watching his own back. He must be the only one tired of taking this shit. Lili, after they'd have sex, would mock him.
Don't leave me for Sasha now, Raz. I hear he's pretty good in the sack. Well, you would know. Hehehe, just kidding.
"If you know how to sense it, you can tell when someone is listening in on your thoughts. I keep all of my thoughts organized, as you know."
Yes, he knew.
"You just have to train," he smiled. This meant going into Sasha's brain, which wasn't new for him.
All the kids had been in Milla's brain. It was a giant pinball machine, happiness and dancing and lights and fun. No one else had been in Sasha Nein's head. Just Raz. No one else knew about the man's history. Just Raz. Ohh God, how his stomach twisted into knots at that. That thought.
"Try reading my mind." Sasha crossed his arms.
Raz did and there was empty space.
"You aren't thinking anything. At all."
"Of course I am! You just can't find my inner thought."
Did Raz really want to know? Everything Sasha said sounded so bad and wrong. And even though it was so innocent, training in order to fight and kill, it just was. The poor man had been turned into a joke and no one took him seriously anymore. But they got to laugh, Raz had to hide, ashamed.
He pointed at his head. "They are buried so deep, no one can get to them but me."
"That's cool."
Gurgle, grumble. Ahh oooh.
Why did it bother him so much? He knew they were only joking. You know, right? Yes? Yes. So who gave a damn? And why did it hurt so much and why was he blushing and sweating and uncomfortable and hot, and why is it so hot in here?
And why was it so appealing to feel like- looking at this man, this cold-faced, cold-blooded man, so much more than Lili, than anyone. Sex with her was nothing compared to just standing here, looking and looking and mapping out. A tingly feeling in the stomach and his heart beating and even though it was his heart it was just fast and painful and terrifying. Worse than the water. But it couldn't be-
"Ahh, Razputin?"
Ahh!
"Yeah?"
"Maybe this has been enough training for one day. I think you'd better leave."
"What? Why?" Not some stupid bullshit reason, again.
Sasha rubbed his face. "Why? Why? Well, well."
He collapsed.
"You are making this very difficult Razputin."
…Huh?
"What am I doing?" Now Raz had to be offensive, offended.
Sasha covered his face, his lips, his eyes, his nose. And his glasses leaned to one side.
"Thinking."
"Ohh."
OOOHH! That, that bastard had been listening to my thoughts, right? That was it, he has been sneaking into my mind and listening to me think about him. And, ohh- please stop thinking! Wait, wait, what should he do? If Sasha knew, he knows now, then- His face must be bright red.
"Uhh, I'm sorry?" Raz said, standing, limply, perfectly, not knowing. What to do, what to do.
"Razputin- no, it's alright. Okay, now try and read my mind."
Fine. We'll just play pretend that-
"Ohh."
"Now do you understand?"
"Yes."
Suddenly, it didn't hurt so much. It was ironic and it made Raz chuckle, laugh, louder than the kids that made fun of him. Because, well.
"This is awkward."
Sasha agreed, nodding, still covering his face.
"Maybe I will go."
So he ran. Fast and faster and he didn't stop but he knew he'd be back. And then, then he'd be ready.
So, it was a happy ending. XD Maybe? I'm just sorry to Raz, for picking on him so much.
DOUBLE FIND PRODUCTION owns these characters. Jealous.