For the first few moments, no one uttered a single word. All movement, from all parties involved, ceased, and breathing was startled and shallow. Then, a distinct and overtly familiar sob sounded in the dark tight space, followed by a low sigh equally familiar for its long-suffering tone.

"Oh, Your Majesty!" Gunter moaned though his stuttered wet sobs, "How could you?"

Yuuri, for his part, managed a mortified squeak at the accusation, and did the only thing that he could do, the only thing that seemed natural in the midst this very unusual set of circumstance; he hid behind Conrad.

"Gunter," Conrad began, attempting, as always, to come to the aide of his king, "is this really necessary?"

"I suppose we could be asking you the same question, Conrad." Conrad winced at the flat and distinctly unhappy tone in Gwendal's voice, "Have you forgotten about the king's engagement to our brother?"

"Of course I haven't," the brunette admitted with an unhappy sigh. Hearing the disheartened sound, Yuuri managed to pull himself from the bottomless pit of mortification in which he had been wallowing to jump to the older man's defense.

"It's not Conrad's fault!"

"No?" and although he could not see it through the thick darkness in which the four of them still stood, Yuuri could practically feel the raising of the disapproving eyebrow, "So whose fault would it be, Your Majesty?"

Yuuri was thankful that no one could see him at that exact moment, since he was sure that his face was burning darker than it had ever done before. His right hand clutched tightly to the sleeve of Conrad's uniform while the left reached up and covered his face.

"Please leave him alone, Gwendal," Conrad interrupted, "the fault lies with m-"

"I jumped Conrad! I kissed him first!"

Stunned silence met Yuuri's declaration for several long minutes, before a loud anguished wail filled each and every corner of the small space the four men shared.

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Oh, why, Your Majesty? WHYYYYY--"

"That's enough, Gunter. We would all like to keep our hearing." Yuuri felt grateful toward Gwendal for the intervention, until the gray-hared man continued, "But it is a very good question. One that deserves to be answered, Your Majesty."

"Why did I kiss Conrad?" Yuuri had no clue how to go about answering that question while avoiding the very real possibility of dropping dead on the spot from utter humiliation. His hand slid down and reassuring fingers caught his and squeezed. The contact made him feel a bit better, giving him enough courage to formulate a reply.

"Well, why were you kissing Gunter?"

"Wha—"

In the darkness, Yuuri smirked just a little. He took a moment to congratulate himself on his rather clever response , while sending up a small prayer of thanks to whoever was listening that he had had the advantage in his life of spending so much time around one Murata Ken. The young Mou was quite certain that he would risk everyone seeing the pathetic flush in his cheeks if he had enough light, just for that moment, to see the look on Gwendal's face as the older man tried to formulate his response.

"What has that have to do with anything?" Gwendal finally demanded.

"I think that it's a fair question, brother," Conrad chimed in, and one would have to be pretty damn thick in the head to miss the distinct sound of amusement woven in the words.

"Do you?" Gwendal snapped back, "You and he were acting completely inappropriately, so don't try and change the subject. What Gunter and I may or may not have been doing is meaningless."

"Meaningless?" Gunter demanded in a hurt and still distinctly hysterical voice, "If I knew how meaningless this was to you then I wouldn't have let you drag me into this closet in the first place!"

"Gun-- No, that's not what I…oh, damn," Gwendal broke off with a defeated sigh before muttering, "Why did I wake up alive today?"

Seeing the opportunity to ease and hopefully get out of this very awkward situation, Yuuri rushed forward.

"Now, Gunter, I'm sure that's not what he meant! Did you, Gwendal?" The only response was a thick thud that may or may not have been Gwendal banging his head against the wall, "Anyway, Conrad and I are very very sorry for disturbing the two of you. We would never have tried to come in here if we had known it was, uh, occupied. I mean, the door was still open a crack. You guys really should have shut it all the way if you wanted your privacy."

"Well, Your Highness, there was a reason for that," Gunter began, "You see, the lock on this door doesn't work as it should. It tends to stick when its closed all the way."

"This door? The one I pulled shut?"

"Yes , Your Highness. The very one."

"…oh."