Duty and Defiance

It was the night I turned ten when I first saw him up close.

I remember being so excited about my tenth birthday that I could barely keep my eyes shut long enough for me to fall asleep. Father had promised me and my brother Ephraim a huge party—lots of food (especially chocolate, since Ephraim and I share a weakness for it), games to keep us amused (even then, I was sure that Innes would challenge Ephraim to a shooting match as soon as he sees the archery butts at the garden where the party would be held), and jesters, magicians, and puppeteers to keep us entertained. Before the party ended, there would be this huge display of fireworks that would surely take our breath away, Father had assured us with a twinkle in his eye.

Surely you cannot fault a child for being too excited to sleep after that.

I heard the clock down the hall strike midnight. "I am officially ten years old," I declared, grinning excitedly. In my just-turned-ten-years-old mind, it was perfectly reasonable for me to sneak down to the garden and take a look around. After all, it was would be my birthday party. It did not matter to me if the preparations for the party had barely started, and that I would be sharing it with Ephraim, who was probably still snoring away in his room, his mouth probably hanging open.

It was MY birthday party, and I was going to do whatever I want.

I kicked my blanket aside, groped for my slippers, found them, grabbed my robe, and carefully snuck out my room. I never had any trouble finding my way because of the full moon that hung brightly in the sky.

As I passed the halls, a faint, faraway swishing sound caught my attention—it sounded like the sound of a sword slashing through the air, coupled with a grunt of exertion.

Who could be awake at this time of the night? I wondered. I followed the sound curiously, my footsteps light as I climbed up the stairs leading to the top floor of the castle. I did not want to disturb whoever was practicing at this hour.

Reaching the top of the stairs, I saw him, and our eyes met.

It was Sir Seth.

Back then he was already the Captain of the First Platoon, a group of the finest knights in Renais. His promotion had raised more than a few eyebrows among the generals of Renais, who considered Seth too young for the position. But Father, recognizing his extraordinary talent, put his foot down. I later heard that Father had not been mistaken in his decision, for Captain Seth had led and won many battles that resulted in few casualties for Renais. He was not only a talented soldier, Father said, but a gifted leader, almost effortlessly raising the troops' morale.

Needless to say, I was fascinated about him. To me, it was as if he were one of those knights that saved princesses in bedtime stories (well, considering what would happen to me later on, the image was not that hard to conjure up). I wanted to find out for myself if such a knight truly existed outside those books. That way, I reasoned, when I needed to be saved, I can count on him.

"Princess?" He sheathed his sword.

I started when he spoke. It was the first time he had ever addressed me. He had been residing in the castle for over three years now, and I only saw him from afar, practicing with his soldiers.

"Um…good evening, Sir Seth," I managed to say, a bit flustered. Manners, I reminded myself, wondering whether I should curtsy to him or not.

He smiled and bowed slightly. "What can I do for you, Your Highness?" I noticed that he did not ask why I was up and about at that hour.

I glanced away, shuffling my feet. "I could not sleep," I admitted sheepishly. Then, in an attempt to change the subject, I piped up, "What about you? What are you doing up here?"

"I could not sleep either, Your Highness, so I decided to practice my swordsmanship to pass the time."

I shook my head. "Please call me Eirika, sir. Your Highness makes me sound as if I am an old lady. I am only ten years old." I shrugged. "Well, I had turned ten a few minutes ago, anyway."

He chuckled. "Very well, Eirika. But I will only call you that when it is just the two of us. It would not be proper for me to call you that in the presence of others."

"Why?"

"Protocol."

"What is that?"

"It is proper behavior toward important people."

I stuck out my lower lip and frowned thoughtfully. "Is it the same as manners? Because if it is, then I don't have a problem remembering my manners, unlike Ephraim. Father keeps scolding him because he always forgets his."

"I am sure you do, Your—I mean, Eirika," he amended quickly.

"Do not worry, sir, I will not tell anybody."

"Tell anybody what, Eirika?"

"That you are not protocolling me."

"'That you are not following protocol'," he corrected gently.

"Yes, that." I scrunched up my forehead in thought. "May I ask something, Sir Seth?"

"Yes?"

I took a deep breath. "If I am in danger, will you rescue me?" I blurted out. I flushed—my request sounded so ridiculous after I said it out loud. I was in no immediate danger, so why ask him that?

He did not bat an eyelash, answering me sincerely. "Of course I will. Rescuing you is my duty as a knight of Renais."

"Really? Do you promise?"

He came closer, knelt down on one knee, and placed a hand over his heart. "It would be my honor to do so, Princess Eirika," he declared solemnly.

I smiled, my earlier embarrassment gone. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, to have a knight like him promise to save me if need be. Somehow, I knew—I just knew that he was not merely humoring me. "Thank you, Sir Seth."

"Seth. Just Seth, Eirika."

He had kept his promise. When Renais fell in the hands of Grado, he bore me away to safety, risking his life. It was then I knew, as we rode into the night, holding me tight against him, that I loved him. Maybe even before, way back to the time when I first spoke to him, that I felt something for him. It was a childhood crush perhaps at first, because after that fateful night on my tenth birthday, I took every opportunity to watch him, to talk to him, to know more about him. I remember, even at ten years old, that I thought he was handsome, and the more I learned about him, the more my feelings for him grew deeper.

But as I grew older, I noticed that Seth started distancing himself away from me, calling me Your Highness even though it was just the two of us. It was then I knew the walls of protocol and social status would come between us. And I acquiesced to his unspoken request to distance myself from him, to retreat behind our roles as knight and princess.

Duty. I was beginning to hate that word, which kept me from my happiness. I knew it was immature and dishonorable for me to think of my duty toward Renais and her people that way, but after what I had gone through, didn't I deserve happiness? Am I truly to remain a slave to duty? Ephraim had found his happiness in Tana, Joshua in Natasha…what about me? Seth himself had admitted that he felt deeply for me, but duty…it was an insurmountable hurdle for us.

With the Demon King vanquished, ties between the kingdoms in Magvel had strengthened. Renais and Frelia had forged a stronger alliance with the marriage between Ephraim and Tana, and because of this, both countries' advisors began pushing proposals to have me married to Innes.

I protested strongly over this. "Is Ephraim's marriage to Tana not enough?" I asked exasperatedly.

"The Princess Tana will rule beside King Ephraim once she is crowned queen," an advisor—in my agitation, I forgot who—intoned. "As such, you will have to forfeit your right to the throne of Renais. I have promised the late King Fado that I will secure a good future for you, Your Majesty, and marriage to Prince Innes is the only way I can ensure that. You know as well as I do that he is the heir to the throne of Frelia, and as such would be very good for you, as well as for the relations between Renais and Frelia."

"So you mean to say that this marriage to Innes is some sort of swap?" I knew I sounded obstinate, even rude, but I didn't care.

"I never said anything about swapping, Your Majesty," the blasted advisor retaliated in smooth, even tones that irritated me more.

I pushed aside my irritation and sighed, leaning back against my chair and rubbing my temple. "Please leave me be. And I apologize for being rude, I…need to think about this." The advisor nodded and left without a word.

I sighed again and looked out the window. Outside, I could see Seth training some cavaliers. I watched him, wishing that things were different. He must have felt me watching him, because he turned and met my gaze. He was far away from me, but from where I was, I thought saw a flicker of yearning in his eyes before his expression turned flat. With that, he turned away smartly and went back to barking out commands to his troops.

That did it. There is nothing I can do over the fact that I am the princess of Renais. Being such, I have duties to fulfill. I will marry Prince Innes of Frelia for the sake of duty. My people's happiness and security I hold above all, even…

Even over my own heart.

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The month following my decision to marry Innes was a blur. Congratulatory letters were opened and read, followed by thank-yous. No one suspected that all these I did half-heartedly. Or maybe they never cared. After all, I was doing my duty to Renais, was I not? All but one—my twin brother, Ephraim.

The bond between twin siblings was a special one. We had completely different personalities, Ephraim and I, but we understood each other perfectly. I should have known better to hide from him what I truly felt.

It was the morning of the dreaded wedding, and I had been patiently waiting in my room for the hairdresser to show up. I should have felt nervous, sad, or angry—anything, really, but all I felt was a numbness that left me cold and unfeeling. Who was this person about to get married, I wondered, staring at my expressionless reflection on the mirror, and why was she doing this?

One word. One reason.

Duty.

A knock jolted me out of brooding. "Who is it?" I asked, expecting the hairdresser.

"Ephraim. May I come in?"

"All right."

Ephraim opened the door slowly and entered cautiously. "Good morning, sister."

"Same to you, brother."

He cleared his throat and closed the door behind him. "How are you?"

I shrugged one shoulder indifferently. "Fine, I suppose."

He looked me over thoughtfully, as if trying to assess something about me. "Are you nervous about your wedding?"

"No." I frowned. "Why all these questions? Is something bothering you?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I should be the one asking you that."

"What do you mean?" I was defensive, meeting his gaze with a narrow one through the mirror.

Ephraim eyed me critically. "You cannot hide it from me, Eirika. You obviously do not want to marry Innes. I would not as well if I were in your place. Not if I loved someone else."

I did not answer, averting my eyes away from his reflection on the mirror. I could not hide it from Ephraim, so why bother denying it? He knows me too well.

"So," Ephraim ventured, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my shoulders, "who is the lucky man that has your heart?"

I did not answer, refusing to meet his gaze through the mirror.

"Certainly not Forde, is it, he's busy trying to court Vanessa. Poor man, the woman is clearly pining for Innes, who is ready to marry you but you do not love him and he has no idea! He's probably busy worrying about how his hair looks right now, and on the other hand, Saleh is too wrapped up doing whatever it is he is doing up in Caer Pelyn. My, what a predicament we have here, eh?"

I scowled at him. "Do you have a point?"

"I am getting to that. Anyway, that just leaves…hmmm…" He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "…Seth and me. Now, Seth would have to be the logical choice, because if you were in love with me, my dear sister, I would have to say you are out of your senses, and I need not say that I find that highly disturbing."

"You realize that you are not helping me any, are you, brother dear?" I asked pointedly.

He gave a sheepish grin and shrugged helplessly. "I am trying to cheer you up. You know I was never good with being touchy-feely things."

I rolled my eyes at that. "Poor Tana."

Ephraim clutched his chest in a dramatically comical way. "Oh! You wound me, sister."

I sighed and looked at Ephraim with a slight smile. "Forgive me for slighting your rather poor attempt, although I appreciate it all the same. But this is my duty—I do not have a choice. You should consider yourself lucky—you and Tana love each other, and I suppose maybe I would come to love Innes…eventually. I do not know. Besides, Seth…he is much too devoted to his duty to do something about the way we feel about each other."

"So he loves you."

"Yes...well…at least, I think so."

"You should go with him, then."

"Ephraim…"

"I am being serious." With that he turned me around to face him, kneeling down on one knee to meet my eyes squarely. He took both of my hands in his. "Listen to me, I want you to be happy. I will do anything in my power to make you happy. You know that."

I nodded mutely.

"I will take care of things, I assure you. Just go find Seth, all right? Besides, I have a strong feeling everything will be turn out just fine."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly. He is letting me go? "But—"

"Just go. Do you remember the secret passage in my room that leads to the stables? I had Misty saddled and ready waiting for you there."

"Misty? Why?"

"You do not know? Seth just quit. He said he was going back to his village and settle down, be a farmer or something. I did not understand why, so I pressed him for answers. There was no way I was just going to let him go like that. And that was when he told me what had happened between the two of you. Or should I say, what had not happened between you two."

Seth…quit? Why the—he did not even tell me! After all we've gone through?

Ephraim looked at me strangely. "Are you angry at me?"

"No, I am not angry at you, I am angry at Seth." I stalked to my closet and pulled out my traveling clothes. "He did not even tell me he quit! He is a coward, and I intend to tell that to his face." I began pulling at the buttons of my dress. "He promised to protect me, and he probably thought he is by quitting, but really, that was just…" I muttered under my breath, starting to pull my dress over my head.

"Uh, Eirika…"

"...Oooh! Men! Who can under—" I stopped short, catching Ephraim's dumbfounded expression. "What?" I asked irritably.

"Uh…" To my growing horror, I realized I was practically stripping before my brother!

"Ahh! Get out! Out, out, out!"

"All right, all right!"

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The idea of a runaway bride off to find her true love sounded terribly romantic, but really, this particular one found it to be a terrible headache instead. Charging off without a plan was more of Ephraim's style than mine—for instance, I had no idea where on Magvel Seth could be at the moment, I only had enough gold to last me a week or so, and in my haste I had not even thought of bringing any spare clothes. Unlike Ephraim, who is more prone to following his gut instincts and spur-of-the-moment quests, I am the more methodical one. If there is anything I hate, it is going without a plan.

Suffice it to say that today was not my day. At all.

After fruitless hours of brooding and riding aimlessly, I decided to stop and rest underneath an oak tree that stood on a small hill. Sitting down, I took out my map (good thing I had the sense to pack that) and plotted out the course I had taken so far. I was so engrossed in what I was doing that I failed to notice two shadows lurking behind me.

"Well, well, wha' do we 'ave here, eh, Nut?"

Thick country accent spoken by a rough voice. This cannot be good.

"Looks to me like a righ' pretty lass, Jeb."

I spun to see—what a surprise—two hulking, drunken, grubby men standing a little too close for my comfort. They reeked of beer and sweat, and the leers they wore on faces I doubt even their mothers could love were far from friendly.

Definitely not good.

I shot to my feet, whipping my rapier out of its scabbard. "One step closer and I will run you through with this," I warned, keeping the point of my blade to their faces.

"Ohoho, feisty, ain't she?"

"I like 'em feisty."

My expression soured. Couldn't these goons come up with something more original?

"Oh, come now, swee'heart, we didna' mean 'ta offend 'ya," the one called Nut said mockingly. The two of them started circling me, making sure they've surrounded me as much as they could so I would not run for it. Nut smirked a gap-toothed smile. "Ya know, she looks awful familia', don' she, Jeb?"

I could feel Jeb's scrutiny, making the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. I heard him bellow out with laughter a minute later when he realized who I was.

"Damn straight she's familiar, Nut! She's that Renais princess from a year ago! That blasted knight of hers knocked yer perlies righ' out of yer mouth!" Jeb crowed.

Nut hawked and spat out, "So where's yer shiny knight, eh? Shame 'e's not with ya righ' now, I'd like some payback. Still, though, I guess yeh'll have ta do." He grinned a gap-toothed smirk with a feral gleam in his eyes.

Judging from the way they circled me, it was plain as day to see that their intentions were far from honorable. My hand tightened on my rapier's handle as they brandished their weapons—axes both—and I let out a small sigh of relief. I would be in much deeper trouble if they carried lances. Still though, two muscle-bound axe-wielding brutes may be more difficult than puny little me was accustomed to handling.

Wait a moment—puny little me? I had vanquished the Demon King—all right, so had some help from the Sacred Stones and a lot of other people, but still, I would like to think I can hold my own easily against these two. In other words, I had faced tougher odds. Surely these two would be easy.

Will it?

The dull 'thunk' of a hand axe burying itself into the tree behind me did not seem to agree. I swallowed audibly. From the corner of my eye I could see my face reflected on the shiny metal.

I will not be a damsel in distress, I will not be a damsel in distress, I will not be a damsel in distress…come on, feet, move!

Swish! That was the axe barely missing my cheek and managing to shear off a few strands of my hair. The strands caught the passing breeze, floating away.

Clang! That was my blade blocking Jeb's axe.

"Urrgh!" That was Nut grunting as my elbow smashed against his nose.

"Huff huff huff…" That was me panting as Jeb backed off to recover. Nut was, fortunately, down for the count from my elbow smash. I kept the point of my rapier aimed between Jeb's eyes, remembering Seth's long-ago admonition to do so.

Jeb's lip curled back into a snarl. I surmised it irked him to see how I managed to fight them off. "That's it! Yer goin' down, missy!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," a baritone voice spoke out from behind him. It was a familiar voice, a beloved voice.

It was Seth.

Jeb never stood a chance.

The famed Silver Knight disposed of his enemy quickly, blocking Jeb's rash overhead strike by grabbing his wrist and twisting it, causing Jeb to lose his grip on his weapon. Seth quickly followed it up with a bone-crushing punch to Jeb's gut. Jeb crumpled to the ground, knocked out by the force of the blow.

I stared at Seth as he straightened up, trying desperately to think of anything to say. Biting my lip, I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts. I was conscious of everything, from the sun dipping low in the west, its light casting an orange glow over Seth's impassive features, to the slight, cool breeze that played with my hair. But at the same time, I was barely aware of anything BUT Seth—I was unable to tear my eyes away from him, taking in everything about him. He was not wearing his usual armor—he was clad in civilian clothes, a simple blue shirt, khaki trousers, a pair of sturdy brown boots, and a sword strapped by his side. He had left Rex with Misty, and the two horses were reacquainting themselves with each other, oblivious to their masters.

Needless to say, the tension between us was palpable. But then, Nut had to ruin the mood by starting to come to.

"Whaa…"

I felt my brow twitch at the interruption. With an irritated growl I kicked him back to unconsciousness. He slumped back to the ground with another warbled groan and fell silent.

I managed a nervous titter. "I think it is time for us to leave. We really need to talk, and these two are…well…incapacitated, as you can see." I gestured feebly at the two. Seth nodded tersely, getting on Rex, and I on Misty.

We rode on in silence, side by side on our horses. I snuck a glance at him, uneasily noting his tense posture and how he struggled to keep his face blank. I could not tell what was in his mind, but it would not surprise me if he was not pleased with my actions.

I recognize the fact that what I did was reckless and impetuous, that what I had done would spell disaster for the relations between Renais and Frelia. But—

My train of thought was cut short when Seth reined in his horse. He had stopped at a cliff overlooking the capital of Renais—I could see the tall spires of the castle, its pennants fluttering in the breeze. With mild irritation I noted that despite the fact that I spent hours riding (as evidenced by my sore behind) before I met up with Seth, I never really covered much distance.

Seth had gotten off his horse and was looking at the view, his arms crossed over his chest. I slid off Misty's back and approached him cautiously, watching his back for any sign of…well, anything. I stood beside him, wondering what to say.

Seth turned and my eyes widened at what I saw. I was taken aback by the expression on his face. I had expected anger and disappointment, but what I saw was…well…

Happiness. And love.

I blinked in confusion. Did I miss something here?

What he did next completely threw me off. As I stood there blinking, he quickly crossed the distance between us reached out to embrace me. I gasped and stiffened at first, but his embrace was so comforting, something I sorely needed after everything I've gone through before this moment that I felt my knees buckle. A small sound escaped my throat, and I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face between his neck and shoulder.

"Eirika," he choked out, holding me tighter. "I thought I was doing my duty when I distanced myself from you. I thought I would be able to forget about how I feel about you if I filled my days doing my knightly duties. But when you agreed to marry Prince Innes, I thought—"

I silenced him with a finger to his lips. "You think too much."

He let out a short chuckle. "So I do." He sighed, pulling me to his chest. "Eirika," he murmured into my hair, "I am sorry for breaking my promise to you."

"What promise?" I remember that promise very well, but I wanted him to say it out loud once more.

"That I would always protect you. I ran away because I could not bear to see the woman I love marry another, and I ended up putting you in harm's way." He pulled away, scowling in disgust. "I am a coward."

"Please do not be too hard on yourself, Seth. You cannot protect me all the time." I did not have it in me to give him the blistering lecture I had prepared about his quitting his post as general. It must be hard for him to admit what he just did. But a spark of hope rose in my chest—by his admission, it must mean that he was tired of doing his duty as well. Maybe…maybe there's a chance for us to be together.

Apparently, I had hoped too soon. Seth's visage hardened to the duty-bound knight I was so familiar with. "What I did was dishonorable, and the only way for me to regain my honor is to bring you back to Renais. And when I do, I ask permission to let me leave the castle. That way—"

"What is wrong with you?" I blared, my earlier anger at him returning and fighting the urge to throttle him. "I love you, damn it! I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life without you! By the Sacred Stone of Renais, you are going to marry me, even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming back to the castle! I am a princess! That is an order!"

Seth GAPED. I cannot say I blame him. People usually see me as calm and level-headed, and I am not in the habit of using my position to get what I want. But I have had it up to here with Seth's talk about duty. If he was not going to do anything about our situation, then it is up to me to be the one to move. And like I said, I will, even if I have to drag Seth back all the way to Renais to marry me.

After all, being stubborn is a Renais royal family trait, and that usually gets things done and for the best.

Well...I hope so, anyway.

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As it turned out, the legendary stubbornness of the Renais royal family had served me well. Seth and I got married three days later.

The castle had been in a state of uproar over my sudden absence, and it was made worse when I had announced I was going to marry Seth instead of Innes. The poor man was could not get a word in edgewise to deny my claim, since Ephraim had decided to side with me and give his blessing over my decision. The royal advisors, on the other hand, were less than pleased over the sudden development and had tried to persuade him otherwise, but Ephraim, bless his stubborn heart, stood by my decision and had talked with King Hayden and Innes to smooth things over. I owe him much, since the disgruntled bridegroom was someone he could barely tolerate. Luckily, King Hayden was a romantic himself (something Tana must've inherited from him) and had assured us that the relations between Frelia and Renais would not suffer. In fact, he even thanked me—he had a feeling that marriage between me and Innes would not be beneficial for the both of us, and for both kingdoms in the long run.

And since there had not been a royal scandal for quite some time now, the castle maids had a field day—by nightfall, some details had found its way to the populace. By mid-afternoon the next day, the entire kingdom had pieced together the events that led to my marriage to Seth, thanks to Ephraim who kept dropping hints to the maids, along with some bypasser that eavesdropped on Seth and me while we were at the cliff. Last time I heard there was a guild of minstrels composing a song about our 'love story'.

All's well that ends well, I guess. I smiled, rubbing the simple gold band on my left hand around my fourth finger.

"What are you smiling at?" Seth emerged from the bedroom we share to join me at the balcony. I sighed and leaned against him as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Just that I never thought I would feel as happy as I am now," I replied, taking in the sunset. Again I was reminded of that day by the cliff overlooking Renais Castle. It was surreal, to be sure—in all of my girlish imaginings about Seth and getting a declaration of love from him, I never thought I'd resort to screaming and threats just to get him to marry me.

"You know," Seth said thoughtfully, "I never had thanked you."

I turned to look at him curiously. "For what?"

"For saving me from my duty. For your defiance. I realize now that sometimes you have to find a balance between duty and defiance in order to find happiness. And that when you do, everything will be all right." He leaned down to whisper in my ear. "And another thing…"

"Hmm?"

"Do me a favor and promise me that you will never do anything similar to what you did last week. Defiance of duty for the sake of happiness is one thing, but I will not have you do that on a regular basis…"

I tuned him out and let out a small sigh. He will never change. He was and will always be the duty-obsessed knight I know and love despite everything that had happened. I smiled.

I would not have him any other way.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

July 1, 2006: I reposted this due to Asaya's observations. She was right, and leaving her suggestions unaddressed had bugged me, so...here you go. Not much has changed, only the way the characters talk. Thanks Asaya!

July 3, 2006: -sigh- I ended up reposting this again because I did something wrong when I organized my stories—I ended up deleting this. So sorry to those that had reviewed that your reviews were erased. Oh well, at least I was able to edit this some more. Thanks in advance to those who will read and review!