I was in Lumbridge (leaving the Duel Arena and going off to chop Willows in Draynor) when a lvl 6 guy popped up (from getting killed I assume) and he began to follow me. I was out of run energy so I go into Lumbridge Castle to try to trap him behind a door and he begins to shout "where da is lubrige?1!1!" shrugs Crazy n00b.

I hate n00bs who ask where's Lubrige when they're in Lumbridge, don't you?

FlamesofEternity, thanks! I'm glad you like the stupidity waves :D

SSJ4, thank you :D Haha, I never noticed that.

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Traiborn entered the lab and immediately grabbed a bowl from the rack, and set it upon his head.

"Down to business," he sighed, picking up an empty vial and filling it with water.

The Wizard got discouraged after many failed attempts. His brown apron was splattered with a variety of colors and he smelled of Marrentill. Seconds away from giving up, an idea hit him.

"Ow!" Traiborn yelled. That idea sure was sharp. He shook his head and used the idea emote over and over again. "I'll make an anti-posion potion by adding Marrentill, but instead of ground unicorn horn, I'll put in n00b fingernails! Making it an anti-n00b potion!" Traiborn used the idea emote again but an unknown force hit him, so he went back to his new potion. "Then, I'll extract some of the properties of my good ol' lvl 126 friend with 99 in every skill (Zezimo, friend of Zezima ;D ) but use PhotoShop, er, WizardShop, and warp it to lvl 1 in every skill! That way it will have Zezimo's intelligence and politeness, and they won't own everybody! And instead of bragging about their beautiful bronze shortsword and rare bronze medium helmet, we'll copy Zezimo's bank but replace the 4815162342108.815 Mil GP with 1k and the full Dragon armor with full iron! And using WizardShop erase all the rest!"

Grabbing some Marentill, he stuffed itt into a vial of water and grabbed a steel dagger. He cast Uber Duper Entanglement of Cow Breath (a spell that required 1 Nature Rune, 5 Airs, 2 Fires, and 2 Cowhides that binds for 1 minute) on one of the n00bs in the cage and took off his "Gloves of Power" (aka Leather Gloves). He then scraped off the tips of the n00b's fingernails with his steel dagger and gathered it in his mortar and pestle. Grinding it up some more, he poured the dust into the Unfinished Potion

Traiborn cast a spell (Laptop Spell, which requires 5 Fires, 5 Airs, 5 Natures, and a lvl 75 in Nerdiness) and got to work taking screencaps of Zezimo's bank/skills and changing them in WizardShop. When he was done, he printed … er … magically got the WizardShop creations onto a Newcomer's Map, lit it on fire wth a Tinderbox, and poured the ashes into the Anti-N00b Potion.

The Wizard cast an Air Wave onto the first n00b inflicting 15 damage on him.

"d00d! ill get u!1!11!" the n00b shouted right befoe he crumpled up and got teleported to Lumbridge.

"I'm sure," Traiborn muttered. He shook the potion up a little bit (high lvl potions should be shaken, not stirred. /James Bond) and popped out the cork again.

"Drumroll, please!" the Wizard shouted and immediately, a track called "Drumrollio" appeared in Traiborn's RuneScape Music Player and it began to play. He poured one out of three doses of the potions onto the remaining n00b and then…

It exploded and killed everyone on Gielinor. Wee.

"WHAT!" Traiborn shouted.

Saradomin sighed. "The drumroll made me do it!" Saradomin said in a high squeaky voice.

"Must…restore… balance!" Guthix cried and toppled over.

Zamorak groaned and yelled, "Am I the only God who has any sense? Saradomin you chicken. Go tend to the daisies in the Tree Gnome Stronghold. They got trampled."

"MY DAISIES!" Saradomin screeched and ran in the direction of the Tree Gnome Stronghold.

"Ahem, Zamorak? Since you're the only God who has any sense (Author's Note: Guess which God I worship?) could you-"

"Sure thing kid," Zamorak said.

"Thanks."

Traiborn poured one dose of the potion onto the test n00b's head and…

POOF!

"Where am I?" the n00b, now with full iron and an iron scimitar, asked Traiborn.

"Unknown level of the Wizard's Tower," Traiborn replied casually. "Wait…ZOMG YOU DIDN'T USE N00BSPEAK! ZOMG ZOMG ZOOOOOOOMG!"

The n00b (well, not a n00b anymore) said, "Excuse me, Mister, but I really should be getting back to Al Kharid soon."

"ZOMG YOU SAID AL KHARID! Not Al Karind! Or Karyd! ZOMG ZOMG!" Wizard Traiborn screamed.

"YO ER! You old hag let me out of this cage!" the low level screamed.

"Where are your manners?" Traiborn sobbed. Then the Wizard realized Zezimo wasn't completely polite all the time and recovered from his heart attack. Teleporting the low level to Al Kharid, he then made the 2/3 doses of potion into a gas.

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