"No Sense of Humor" and the general concept of "No Sense of Humor" is completely copyright Orin Drake 2006. All characters contained within and terms like "Organization XIII" are owned by Square-Enix and Disney.
Background: I decided to play with the assumption that Axel was from "our world". Or... an alternate reality of our world or... or, whatever the hell. As for the subject matter... I will say only this: I don't believe blasphemy is possible. In my little world, nothing sacred could ever be offended--and enjoys the challenges I must present at every opportunity.
No Sense of Humor
by Orin Drake
It hadn't been any more than ten minutes since he'd gotten back from that infernal Castle Oblivion when Xigbar, wearing a wide smirk, had interrupted his private... homecoming celebration. "Hey. Superior wants to see you."
Admittedly, Axel had an uh-oh moment--not that he showed it. "How sweet of ol' Xemmy to want to welcome me home."
The freeshooter scoffed. "As if." Shaking his head, he merely walked away.
"Number Eight." Was the only greeting Xemnas granted, not bothering to turn away from watching the heart-shaped moon.
It took a great deal of self-control not to let his lips twist, not to return the "affection" shown to him. "You wanted to see me?"
"I wished to remind you." The silver-haired man glanced only once over his shoulder. "I do not want to see you behaving... smugly."
"Oh, no more than usual." Axel allowed himself, indulging in the venom he tried to keep controlled.
"You would do well to act in accordance with your number." The man warned as he finally turned fully around, sounding somewhere between perfectly calm and viciously dangerous.
"Me?" he did everything in his power to sound innocent... delighting a bit when he was certain he'd failed ever so slightly. "I've done nothing wrong, Superior."
There was far too much ease in the man's voice as he approached, slowly. "You are the only one to have survived."
"I'm just that good." He dared a smirk and a hand on his hip.
"Is that so." Xemnas almost seemed to ask before turning away again, apparently disinterested. "I would remind you that you are not in control. I am the leader of the Organization. Of all of you... I will be the one with the power. I will be the one to survive."
"Yeah." Axel feigned agreement, starting to walk away. "Jesus had twelve followers, too."
The next day found Axel shivering alone in his room, trying not to concentrate on the holes that had been drilled through his wrists. Xemnas... the guy just didn't have a sense of humor.