. . .Do I In His Dorm Every Sunday
I don't own Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Google stock. If I owned any of these three things, I'd be rich.
"Eh, no. not exactly. Don't give me that look, buddy. This is a very hard choice. Eternal life, or mortality? Man, you decide, okay?" Harry snapped. "I'm about to flip a coin, or something. Play rock, paper, scissors, maybe. Ask a Magic 8 Ball, because, damn it, I can't decide."
"You haven't chosen mortality?" Ron bellowed. He stumbled slightly. "Have you cracked? Choose immortality, you brute!"
Harry rolled his eyes and walked to the Hospital Wing.
Madam Pomfrey nearly had a fit when she saw the state of the soldiers. Ron, who had been astoundingly quiet throughout the whole walk up to the Hospital Wing, suddenly spoke up, startling Harry.
"Two Humans? Were there like, a ton of Gondorians? Aren't they Human?" Ron asked. Harry rolled his eyes.
"They are 'Men'. Apparently, not the same thing. Must be politically correct at all times, Ronald!" Harry said, laughing. Ron rolled his eyes. Pomfrey was, by then, freaking out.
Harry found himself forced onto a bed, with nine potions forced down his throat in rapid succession. He coughed and sputtered, drawing a glare from Pomfrey.
"I didn't say anything!" Harry said, defending himself. vaguely
"Yes, well what happened to your kneecap, then? Did it tear itself from you body?" Pomfrey asked. Harry grinned at her.
"Actually, that's pretty close. I think it may have been a friendly fire arrow. It got caught in there, and it went foreword, peeling the kneecap right off," Harry said. Ron, in the next bed, yelped, as if in pain. "You alright, Ronnie?"
"Yes, but I have this absurd ghost pain in my kneecap, thanks to you!" Ron accused. Harry through a cocky grin at him.
A few hours later it was dark, and very, very quiet. Harry was awake, staring at the ceiling. Madam Pomfrey had explained that for one of the potions to work, Harry had to be awake and aware. He had no problem with that at all.
Sleep was not an issue for him at all. No sir-ee. Sleep was. . . Harry's head jerked as he woke himself from a slight doze.
"Shit. This'll be a long night. All I need is two hours of sleep, and I can't even get that. Shit, shit, shit!" Harry muttered. He heard a deep chuckle from next to him, causing him to nearly fall out of his bed. "Christ almighty!" A strong hand kept him from completely hitting the floor.
"Careful now, Harry. We wouldn't want you to re-injure your knee." Harry identified Dumbledore's voice.
"Where the hell did you come from?" Harry barked, quietly. Harry saw Dumbledore grin in a decidedly evil way.
"Now, Harry, I could explain, but it would be much better for you to hear that from someone a little younger, maybe Remus. I'm sure you would feel decidedly uncomfortable-"
"Oh, shut up, old man!" Harry growled. "Pedophile, I swear!" Harry muttered.
"Well, you did ask," Dumbledore said. Harry growled.
"Did you need something, or do you get your kicks from staring at people a tenth of your age?" Harry asked. Dumbledore looked indignant.
"I'm only one hundred and fifty, Harry, not seventy. That's twenty years you just tried to tack on," Dumbledore reprimanded. Harry rolled his eyes.
"Oh, well, sorry. Next time I'll look it up in the big book of people who were alive during the time of Julius Caesar," Harry said. Harry couldn't tell in the dim light, but he thought that Dumbledore was actually glaring at him. Harry just smiled. After a moment, Dumbledore smiled. "So, why are you here?"
"I heard you were not allowed to sleep tonight, so I decided to come talk. Or are you too busy dozing? I may have to report that to Madam Pomfrey, you know that, don't you?" Dumbledore asked.
"You wouldn't. I know you wouldn't. Because that would be cruel, and you're not a cruel person," Harry said. Dumbledore nodded.
"I'll keep it a secret. You're a valuable member of my teaching staff, and I don't need you being killed by another valuable member of my staff. So I've come to keep you awake. What do you want to talk about?" Dumbledore asked, leaning back in his chair to get comfortable. Harry sighed.
"You." Dumbledore started slightly.
"Excuse me?" Dumbledore asked. Harry grinned.
"You. Let's talk about you. I hate talking about me. I bore even myself. With a hundred and fifty years, you must have something interesting to say. Say it," said Harry, shrugging. Dumbledore nodded.
"I. . . don't know what to say. Have you ever heard the story about the time I accidentally pushed the Headmaster down the stairs?" Harry sat up and leaned his back against the headrest.
"This I have to hear. Please continue."
They spent six hours discussing Dumbledore's school days.
"Hey. If I pushed my Headmaster down the stairs, think they would blame me?" Harry asked innocently. Dumbledore leaned foreword and flicked his ear. Harry winced and pouted at him. "Owie!" Harry whined. "That hurt!"
"Harry, that was the point. Elves have highly sensitive ears. I'm very glad I read that book last night," Dumbledore said.
"Hmph!" Harry said. Dumbledore smiled at him. Then he looked thoughtful.
"Call me Albus," he said. Harry stared at him for a moment.
"Excuse me?" Harry asked.
"Call me Albus. Albus is my name, Harry. It's not Dumbledore Dumbledore, you know. It's Albus Dumbledore, in case you didn't know. I am requesting that you call me by my first name," Dumbledore said. Harry continued to stare blankly. Dumbledore leaned foreword, sighing. "Harry, you have earned my respect by far. Far more than some people my own age have. You, more than anyone many, many people, are my equal. I think a first name basis is more than appropriate."
"Uh. . ." Harry said. Dumbledore smiled.
"Are you surprised that I called you my equal?" Dumbledore asked. Harry nodded. "Well, you are. You're more advanced than I was at your age, you're unbelievably powerful. Harry, I feel like I should be calling you 'sir'," Dumbledore said. Harry nodded, feeling like something very heavy had just smashed into his head.
"Um, thank you, sir-" Harry paused when Dumbledore smirked at him. "-Albus." Albus nodded. "That is so unbelievably strange."
"Harry, I'm going to guess that we have and hour before everyone in this room wakes up. I have a very serious proposition for you. I think that it would be acceptable if you were to. . . take your N.E.W.T.s now. I want you to be a full time professor and researcher for Hogwarts," said Albus.
"Please excuse me if I stop breathing now," said Harry. Albus' eyes widened. Harry smirked at him. "You're too easy. I have conditions. You have to offer the same opportunity to Ron and Hermione," Harry said. Albus nodded, smiling.
"I can do that. It is now Sunday morning. Is next Friday a good day for you to take the biggest exam of your life?" Albus asked.
"I could be ready in ten minutes, if Madam Nazi didn't have me in this bed for the next three days," Harry said. He spent a good thirty seconds glaring at afore mentioned Madam Nazi's door. Albus snapped his fingers in front of Harry's face. Harry jumped, and turned to look at Albus.
"I thought you had wondered off there, for a moment," Albus said. Harry smiled. "Do you want to get out of here?"
"As an answer, all I'll say is that I want to live to see my eighteenth birthday," Harry said. Albus nodded, and pulled out parchment and a quill. He scribbled a note, putting it on Harry's pillow. He waved his wand, changing Harry into normal clothes.
"Let's go. Come on. Hurry, up, Poppy wakes up at five o'clock every morning. We have three minutes to get you as far away from this wing as possible. Ready?" Albus asked. Harry nodded. He jumped out of the bed. Albus grabbed his shoulder and led him out of the wing.
"You do know that we are both going to be killed for this one, right?" Harry asked, as soon as they sat down in Albus' office. The light from the rising sun was pooling in from the window behind his desk, casting an orange glow around the room.
"I know. I think it will be a great discussion topic for breakfast, don't you?" Albus asked.
"I couldn't agree more. So, tell me, what is this big exam like? Pain, torture, death?" Harry asked.
"I found it quite simple, actually. I set the record for the fastest exam time in recorded history," Albus said.
"Now, see, it's not fair if they say that. I mean, you could only have taken, what? The second exam in recorded history? I'd think a lot of magic has been discovered since then," complained Harry.
"You're just full of these ones, aren't you?" Albus asked.
"Actually, yes, I am. You'd be amazed at how much time I have to think," Harry said. Albus nodded.
"Well, this means war, Harry. I've had a hundred years to come up with youth jokes. You can't win this one," Albus said.
"Oh, I think I can. I think you'll loose this one, old man. On to a lighter topic. The sky is very, very blue right now," Harry said, nodding out the window.
"You may be too young to fully understand, but the sky is very, very blue a lot of the time," Albus said, smiling. Harry shook his head.
"Just, no. Please tell me that wasn't your best?"
"No. I'm just warming up, Harry." Suddenly Albus walked around the desk and knelt in front of Harry. "You have a nasty cut above your left eye. Did you know that?"
"Ah. . . yeah. It started bleeding into my eye as I was slicing an Orc in half. That was counter productive," stated Harry.
Albus sat in the chair next to Harry, and ran a thumb across the half closed gash above Harry's eye. Harry watched the man's eyes narrow slightly, and his brow furrow ever so slightly.
"It looks like it may be infected. Did Poppy check it?" Albus asked.
"She did. She said it would be just fine. Nothing to worry about. Why?" Harry asked. Albus shook his head.
"Nothing important. So, how was the battle? I sat for two hours listening to it, now I want to hear about it," said Albus. Harry nodded.
"There I was, standing not ten
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feet away from a thousand Orcs. "Holy shit." Harry arched his back backwards a little, and he heard five distinct cracks. He turned slightly to look at the men standing behind him, following him into battle. "The point of war is not to die for your cause. It's to make the other bastard die for his! No mercy!" Harry yelled. Ron bellowed, from next to him.
It was an empowering feeling, knowing you had three hundred men on your side, yet it was a huge responsibility. If any of these beings died, it was on his hands.
He was playing god with the lives of over a thousand people.
He ran foreword. He was in his zone. The first Uruk had fallen, at his feet, and Harry's adrenaline was pumping. Harry was in Hogsmeade, nearing the center. Death Eaters were burning buildings, and Harry was doing his best to put them out, while still fighting Orcs.
Something sliced his upper arm, and he felt the sticky warmth of blood running down his arm. It was colder outside than Harry had expected, and his fingers were already growing numb, the cold hilt of his sword wasn't helping much, either.
His sword crashed into the helmet of an Uruk, causing it to turn wildly, swinging its blade. It grazed Harry's neck. Something heavy and blunt slammed into the back of Harry's head, throwing him foreword. He collided with the Uruk, painfully. They landed in a heap on the dusty pathway.
What should have been a dignified and proper sword fight, turned into a fist fight. Anyone who saw it would have thought of ten year olds on a playground.
Harry found his opening, and he punched the Uruk with all his considerable strength. That gave him the chance to stab the beast. Harry rolled off of the thing, and took off running towards the nearest clump of Death Eaters.
Not the best strategy, but he went in, swinging his sword madly.
Something very sharp, very heavy, and very cold grazed his left eyebrow. Warm blood dripped into his left eye, right as he swung at a nearby Uruk. His blade went through the armor, through the rib cage, through the spine, and out the other side. The Uruk blinked a total of four times before the top half of the body toppled over, hitting the dirt.
Harry spun around, turning to see the terrified eyes of a death eater. The man couldn't have been older than twenty, and he looked ready to wet himself. Harry shook his head. He cast a wandless unbreakable stunner at the kid, rolling his eyes.
The battle went on for another ninety minutes. Harry looked down as he was burning corpses, and noticed he was missing a kneecap.
"Well, that's unfortunate. I have this strange feeling that that thing is very important," Harry said. "Burn, baby, burn." Harry poured more oil on the corpses, and the fire flared. His eyes
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lit up just explaining the battle. Albus smiled as Harry explained every detail of the battle. Harry actually had an amazing ability to remember every detail, like most Elves did. Albus found himself very jealous in that moment.
When Harry was done, Albus sighed. "If only I were younger. . . Not one comment, Harry." Harry closed his mouth, looking put out. Albus checked the time. "Well, Harry, it is time for breakfast. Are you ready to face the music?"
"Right behind you."
"No. Right next to me," Albus said. Harry grinned at him.
Albus was surprised that Harry thought so little of himself. Most teenagers with Harry's power would consider themselves the center of the world. Harry, however, had spent twenty minutes glorifying every soldier in the field beside himself. He had even gone into detail about how good of a duel he'd had with a very 'skilled' death eater.
Harry pushed the Great Hall door open, but then Albus was pushed foreword. "Harry. . .?" Albus looked up to see Poppy looking murderous.
"I have a very, very long life ahead of me. I mean, you've got a foot in the grave already. You see where I'm going with this? Between you and me, you're the obvious choice," Harry whispered. All the students who were eating breakfast were watching. Most were snickering, probably at the stricken look Albus knew he was wearing.
"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore! How dare you steal my patient out of my ward!?" Poppy yelled, advancing on him. Her eyes were glowing. "In the middle of the night!?"
"You see, Poppy, I had very important stuff I needed to discuss with your patient. It was. . . important. And as the Headmaster I have every right to steal your patient. So, that being said, I see no problem here. If you could clear the isle, I'd like to eat my breakfast," Albus said. He heard Harry laughing hysterically, yet quietly, behind him.
"I see a problem! I see a big problem! Potter is a patient, and needs to be treated!" Poppy snapped, still advancing. She was ten feet away now. Harry threw the doors all the way open.
"Actually, I'm right here, and I couldn't be in better health. Unless, of course, I had some sleep, and something to eat. I'm amazed. You deprive me of sleep, now you're trying to stop me from eating? Not exactly the traits of a person in your field, is it? Please excuse me, I'm hungry," Harry said, brushing past Poppy.
"I- I- Potter! You can't-"
"Just did. Live with it."
No matter how much Harry wrote off his accomplishments as luck, Albus saw Harry's courage. Nothing was luck, not with Harry. It was skill.
Harry sat himself down at the Gryffindor table, and piled a lot of food onto his plate. Ginny, who was across from him, was oddly silent. Hermione, however, was oddly chatty.
"So, I was reading that book you told us about. Some very interesting things in there. Did you know that-"
"Yes. I do. I read the book, Hermione. Three times. Have you read about the spell for peeling away each individual layer of skin?" Harry asked.
"Great topic for breakfast, Harry,'' Ginny muttered.
"I think so. It's amazing to think about. Depending on how much power you add, you can make the skin peel away so slow, the victim will be conscious until the third of fourth layer of skin," Harry said, enthusiastic. Ginny rolled her eyes.
"Harry, that is so gross. That's disgusting," Ginny complained.
"No, you know what's disgusting?" Harry asked her. She stared at him blankly, her eyes seeming to widen for only a second. "I forgot to get my knee replaced. There is no kneecap there. It's just bandage. I'm not sure the bones are even connected," Harry said calmly. "That is not a happy feeling."
"That's sick," Ginny said.
"It is."
That afternoon, Harry dragged his two best friends up to Albus' office. He got to the gargoyle, and the damn thing wouldn't move. Harry rattled off every candy he could think of, muggle and magical. Fed up, Harry kicked it, and it moved.
They walked up the staircase, with Harry moving slowly because of his knee. The pain was getting worse as the day wore on.
"Come in," Albus called before they knocked. Harry opened the door, and limped in. He sat down, and glared at the old man. Albus conjured a chair for Ron, and all three of them were seated.
"You could have opened the damn gargoyle for me," Harry said. Albus smiled slightly.
"Ah, I could have. But it was so much more fun to hear you yell at an inanimate object and then kick it," Albus said happily. Harry glared at him. "Oh, don't look so put out. Have you explained anything to them?" Harry shook his head.
It took ten minutes to explain the NEWT plan, and then twenty to calm down Hermione. Albus seemed amused, while Ron looked ready to be sick. Hermione was frantic, speaking at a thousand words a second, while Harry laid his head against the back of the chair and closed his eyes.
It seemed like just a second later someone was shaking him.
"Harry? Harry?" Albus' voice called. Harry started, and he nearly punched Albus. Ron grabbed the older man, pulling him out of the way.
"That is it," Albus declared, "I'm splashing water on you next time."
"How long was I out?" Harry asked. He heard Ron laughing next to him.
" 'Out' doesn't even begin to cover it. We've let you sleep for twenty minutes, and it took us ten to wake you up." Harry shook his head. "You okay?"
"That was one crazy dream. I hope it was a dream. It better have been a dream," Harry stated. Albus looked concerned as he stood up straight.
"What happened?" he asked, a touch of urgency in his voice. Harry gave a bark like laugh.
"Michael Corner was banging Ginny. I was out of calming potion, and, I'm sure you could imagine the rest," Harry said. He shook his head once more, clearing the thought. "Is there an Order meeting tonight?" Harry asked.
"Yes, there is, Harry," Albus said. Harry nodded and stood up.
"Okay, I'll see you then," Harry limped out the door, and up to Gryffindor tower.
Albus was sitting in the Great Hall for the Order meeting. All of the Order was there, except for Harry and Ginny.
"This is happening a lot lately, Albus," Severus said coldly. Albus gave him a hard look, and his head snapped around when he heard a scream. Aragorn stood up, and walked across the room to open the door carefully. The screaming grew louder and louder until Michael Corner ran into the Great Hall.
Aragorn poked his head out the door, before slamming the door shut and running back to his seat. Michael was muttering incomprehensively, shaking in a ball on the ground. Hermione walked over and knelt next to him.
"Michael? Michael, are you alright?" she asked gently.
"Pissed him off. He's mad. He's going to kill me. Help me?" he pleaded. There was a bellowing scream of rage from just outside the Great Hall door. Michael began sobbing frantically as he scuttled away from the door.
A frighteningly familiar booming, roaring, thundering voice bellowed in a strange language. Something was pounding against the doors, causing the old wood to buckle. They would collapse within a minute.
Ron looked to his brothers, made a few motions, and said a couple of words. The all started glaring at Michael. Molly had overheard, and she turned on the young man, too. Albus got a bad feeling in his gut.
"What is he saying?" Aragorn asked Gandalf anxiously. The old wizard was listening intently.
" 'I'll kill you. They'll find your body under the red rising sun. Your soul is mine, and I'm going to send it to the very pits of hell, you cold blooded spawn of Saruman.'. That's a new one. 'I'll paint the town with your blood while you writhe on the ground in pain.' We may have to put an end to this," Gandalf said. He turned to Dumbledore. "Will you assist me?"
Albus agreed, and both men walked over to the large doors, just as an arm broke through it. It was a pale arm, with blue veins clearly visible. The arm had long, bony fingers. The arm and hand withdrew, but the hole was made bigger when the arm reentered right near the preexisting hole.
"What do we do?" Albus asked Gandalf.
"We calm him down," the other man said simply. "We need to get to the other side of the door, before he gets on this side." That task became even harder when the hole became even bigger, big enough for Harry to actually fit through. As he was climbing, Albus quickly opened the door, and both he and Gandalf slipped to the other side.
They pulled Harry back through the hole, after they closed the door. Albus held onto Harry with a vice grip.
"Alright, now what do we do?" Albus asked. Gandalf looked Harry over.
"Get him away from here, calm him down, and make sure he doesn't go anywhere until he gets a claming potion," Gandalf suggested. Albus carried away the struggling Harry, and he threw him in the nearest unused classroom. He closed and locked the door, and knelt next to Harry. The boy continued to struggle.
"Stop it, Harry," Albus ordered. Harry continued, and as it appeared to Albus, Harry began to try to attack him. "Harry James Potter!" Albus sternly said. "Stop!" Albus summoned a calming potion, and he forced Harry to drink it. It was another minute before Harry began to return to normal. He clutched his head as if in severe pain.
"Ahhhh," Harry hummed. Albus pulled him into an embrace.
"What happened, child?" Albus asked. Harry shook his head, and simply curled into a ball. It didn't work very well, though, because Albus still had a tight hold on him. "Harry, I need to know what happened," Albus insisted. He rubbed Harry's back, trying to keep Harry completely calm.
"Remember when I fell asleep in your office today?" Harry asked quietly.
"Yes, but- Oh. Harry, talk to me." Albus pulled Harry up, so he was sitting and facing him. "Tell me the whole story." Harry took a deep breath, not looking at Albus.
"Ginny and I started going out this summer. Eventually she wanted to take things further, but I wouldn't. She's fifteen, when I was sixteen, I was at the age of consent. She was only fifteen, and unable to legally consent. After I turned seventeen, her advances became more aggressive. Since I was seventeen, and her still fifteen, that's one hell of a rape charge, and I'd be in prison for the rest of ever," Harry said calmly. Albus took Harry's face in his hands.
"That was very responsible, Harry. You made the right choice. What you may not know, however, is that Mr. Corner turned seventeen four days ago," Albus said quietly. "This will, undoubtedly, be brought to court by the Weasley's. . ." Albus trailed off. "Oh, dear. I left Mr. Corner in the Great Hall, with all the Weasley men in attendance. We'll leave them there for a few more minutes, shall we?" Harry gave a small laugh, before grabbing his head.
"Ahh, that hurts," Harry said. Albus gave him a stern look.
"Which reminds me, Harry. Why didn't you take a calming potion? Didn't I ask you to keep one on you at all times?" Albus asked. Harry sighed.
"I'd already used it, earlier today," Harry said. "After Ron and I did some training. It got out of hand, and we ended up in a pretty good insult exchange. We split the potion. When we went upstairs, Ron snagged the shower first, so I waited in the dorm room, throwing stuff at the door until he came out. He went down to the meeting, and I got in the shower. When I came out, Michael and Ginny were doing it. . . on my bed, actually. They must have thought I already went down to the meeting," Harry said. Harry suddenly looked up at Albus, a strange look in his green eyes. "Could you just give me five minutes with him?" Harry asked hopefully. Albus looked at him over his glasses.
"And let you –what was it?- ah, 'paint the town with his blood'?" Albus asked. Harry opened his mouth to reply, but Albus cut him off. "No."
"Are you sure? I wouldn't even leave a mark!" Harry protested. "We could even modify his memory!" Albus rolled his eyes, and began getting up. Harry sprang to his feet, and helped Albus from the ground. "Must be hard," Harry said.
"What is that, Harry?" Albus asked him. The began walking to the door.
"Being so old, of course," the younger man answered. Albus lightly cuffed the back of his head.