This is my first Kiddy Grade fanfiction…so please don't hate me!

Okay…Disclaimer time!

Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Kiddy Grade or any of its characters!

The Craziest Things

I sighed. There was a problem. A REAL problem! Like that time my favorite show didn't air for an ENTIRE week…but this is even worse! The problem is: girls.

Girls suck. Girls whine too much…girls spend too much money…and they put goop on their faces! Yuck! But I guess I am getting ahead of myself. Maybe I should explain my latest reason for hating the female race.

It all started a few months ago when Éclair…wait, wrong reason. That is reason 462. I'm supposed to be on number 463.

Anyways, as I was saying, A-oh brought this…this…GIRL (shudders) home and invited her to stay for dinner. That's not the worst part, though. She stayed for THREE whole HOURS afterwards! So not fair! A-oh had promised to drive me to the mall at 5 so I could window shop! But by the time SHE (it) had left, it was already 8:00!

Why couldn't I drive myself, you ask? Err…well…I guess I could have, but what is the fun in that? A-oh is my PARTNER! We are supposed to be doing things TOGETHER! Stupid girl, ruining my evening!

Things were fine after that, I guess, although A-oh seemed a bit distracted. Was he avoiding me, I wonder?

A week after that happened; he decided to leave while we were playing Table Tennis. He just suddenly decided to go see that girl. Right then, in the middle of our game! Of course I yelled and screamed and threw a fit in protest, but did he listen? Noooooo! He just ignored me and muttered something about aspirin.

Sigh. I tried to warn him that the girl was messing with his head…forcing him to think of her all the time, but he just laughed. He said I was just being silly and that I would like her once I got to know her. Hmpf! Yeah right! I'd rather choke on glass! He also said something about them going steady…whatever that means.

I remember him asking me why I hated girls so much in the first place. I had a lot of reasons, but at the time, four stood out in my mind. (1) Girls like A-oh, (2) A-oh likes girls, (3) I like A-oh, and (4) I am very jealous! But I didn't tell him that…

"Girls are icky!" I had told him. A-oh rolled his eyes and headed to the door. Jokingly he asked if I needed for him to call a baby-sitter…I HOPE he was joking at least. I shrugged and told him that I was heading to GOTT headquarters to do some last minute repairs to SALYUT and I might be gone for a while too.

He believed me somehow, but looked worried. "Are you sure you will be alright? You might need some help with the ship." He told me. I smiled and waved it off. "I'll be fine. I just need to check some stuff over before our next mission." I lied. He nodded solemnly and walked to the garage to start up his new, cherry red convertible. I smirked. I WOULD be fine—after I got done egging his girlfriend's house, that is!

I snickered. It was a good thing I put that tracking device in his car. Even though I had lost the signal tracker, I could still hear the vibrations from five miles away. Yep, it's good to be me!

So here I am…outside of a stranger's (well, virtually a stranger's) house, holding a box of 18 eggs and a bottle of red grape juice. I would have used shaving cream…but neither A-oh or I shave. Besides, grape juice is hard to get out anyways (trust me, I've tried!). I snickered to myself. She would have to re-paint her house after I was done! And it was a shame too…her house is a pretty shade of white. Not for long!

Still laughing, I stumbled into the house. I looked back at the empty grape juice bottle and egg carton. Whoops! Guess I got carried away!

I hadn't really intended to use ALL of the juice or eggs, since that would look suspicious. Hey…even I can't eat 18 eggs and drink a gallon of grape juice in two hours!

But then I saw them holding hands! At that point, all rational thought was cut off. I trashed the walls! Oh well, what's done is done…I just hope A-oh doesn't notice the missing juice and eggs. I sighed. Nope! Not a chance…I'm so dead…

I sat down at the table and pondered on my newest problem: staying alive. I shuddered. This would be hard…especially since he really seemed to like this girl, and I stupidly trashed her house. It sucks to be me!

He entered the house a few minutes later, joining me in the kitchen. I looked up at him as innocently as I could muster for as guilty as I knew I was. He sighed. "I can't believe it." He said. "Rikko's house got vandalized!" he said in shock. I blinked. "Who?" I asked him. He paused before replying. "Rikko, my girlfriend…" He told me. He continued to talk, but I stopped listening. I just wanted to curl up in a hole somewhere and hide for say…the next thousand years.

A-oh looked at me. "You okay? Is SALYUT alright?" He asked in concern. I blinked. Oh, right…my alibi. I forced a smile. "Everything's fine at HQ. I was just thinking…that's all…" I said, biting my lip. For once I was glad I had fixed up the ship ahead of time! He sighed. "You're acting weird lately." He told me, giving me a scrutinizing look. I squirmed under his intense stare. Even though he isn't using his power, I can feel his eyes boring into my soul.

Anger is beginning to boil up in me, though. I growl at him. "Me? You're the one who is all muddle headed over that GIRL!" I spat moodily. He shrugged. "Whatever." He said after a moment.

He…just dropped the subject? What? Isn't he supposed to suspect me…since I just betrayed myself as the culprit? Maybe he is a bit thicker headed than I realized. In any case, I sighed in relief.

Crap! Now he is heading toward the fridge. If he sees that the food is missing…I don't even want to think about it! "Hey, A-oh? Want some Chinese food tonight? I'll buy!" I told him. He gave me a suspicious look before nodding. Then he smiled faintly, though there was an odd, un-trusting look in his eyes. "Sure, can you place the order for some Beef Lo-mien? Plus whatever you want." I sighed and nodded, going into the living room to grab the phone. He stopped me and smiled. "The phone is in the basement." He told me.

I blinked in surprise. "In the basement? Why is it down there?" I asked him. "I took it down there last time I was talking to Rikko, since you wouldn't stop bothering me." I sighed. I don't remember having bothered him while he was on the phone…but my memory tends to slip on occasion. I walked down the stairs hoping to find the phone quickly.

No such luck. After twenty minutes of searching, I was about ready to quit. By the time I had stood up, I saw him walk down the stairs, a grim look on his face. I sighed. "Phone's not down here A-oh." I informed him boredly. He sighed. "I know." He told me seriously. I gulped. He had lied to get me out of the kitchen? So he knew then?

"Why Un-oh?" He demanded, "Why did you vandalize Rikko's house?" He asked in disbelief. I bit my lip. I felt light headed. "Love makes you do the craziest things…" I said. I blinked. Oh crap…did I say that out loud!

Based on the shocked/scared/disturbed look on his face…I believe that would be a yes. Crap! Someone kill me now!

End

JouVal-Yaoi-Fanatik: Yay! I got this posted at last! Please R & R people!