Yes, I know it's short and I know I made you wait a long time for it but right now is the first time when I haven't had a million and one things to do. So nyah. Much love goes to Maria and Hannah for the help and encouragement. Whilst obvious hugs are in order for Corrine, Ivana and Erin who are just awesome and inspiring.

Merry Christmas, btw. Since it IS Christmas after all, I thought i'd treat you all with an extract from Hannah's amazing Star Wars story at the end.

Chapter Eleven
In which Howard Moon does something not very helpful

Aha you see. Now that right there was the mark of a true writing genius. A proper cliffhanger, forcing you to wait a few months before you find out what had happened. It certainly felt like a few months had passed to Howard, even though it had only been about half an hour since he witnessed the fishy kidnapping of his friends. He'd stood staring, open mouthed at the small lake long after the ripples had ceased to.. Well.. Ripple.

"Oh dear." Was all he stated finally, pulling his phone out. It was times like these that he wished he'd allowed Vince to have one of his own but it usually only took one memory of the amount of phonecalls he got at 3 AM from a giggly slurry person claiming to be a receptionist at the Bureau of Bad Fashion or the Department of Swayze Eyes asking if he can confirm his appointment to remind him why a phoneless Vince is a good thing.

Lester's number was obviously at the top of his phonelist, but a blind and half crazy musician was not what he needed right now, as much as it pained him to admit it. No, Howard Moon needed someone with knowledge about the fishy bastard. Someone who had had previous experience with him. Someone with intelligence, wit and an understanding of strategy and logic.

"Hello, Colin here!"

Howard blinked and brought himself back to reality. "Ah yeah, hi Colin! It's Howard Moon. I stayed at your pub a few months ago..?" He trailed off waiting for the noise of recognition. There was none.

"Who?"

"Howard Moon. I was there with my friend Vince Noir? Got captured by Old Gregg?" He scratched the back of his head and watched the door of the council house nervously.

"Vincey! The little fishprincess! Of course Howard, I remember you! How are you?" The pub wasn't very busy so Colin was leaning against the bar, sipping a Flirtini. There was still a picture of the Boosh lads up above the mantel, dressed in their funky red outfits.

Howard sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I've got a bit of a problem. It's about Old Gregg."

"Ah. Old Gregg. You know some say that Old Gregg has moved on, others say that he's dead. All I know is, we haven't seen him around these parts since... Well... Since you and Vincey were here!" Colin chuckled wheezily, sounding like a man with a serious pipe addiction.

"Well. I've found Old Gregg and he's kidnapped my friends!" Said Howard, anxiously. (Gosh. What a terrible line, I mean really. He just said it in an anxious way. How else could I write it?) "Colin I need to know.. Is there any way of defeating Old Gregg so that I, Howard Moon, can rescue my friends?"

"Ah sure thing Howard. I'll tell you if there's a way of defeating the fishy bastard. Gather round now and listen closely." There was a pause. "Not you photo frame." Another pause and what sounded like muffled grumbling in the background. "Sorry Howard, what was I saying? Oh, is there a way of defeating Old Gregg? The short answer is no."

Howard pinched the bridge of his nose. "What exactly was the long answer?"

"No there is not a way to-"

Colin heard the click as Howard cut him off.

The wind had picked up slightly as Howard turned to Naboo's carpet and rolled it up, tucking it under his arm. He knew what he had to do and he knew that this would undoubtedly involve some pretty nasty confrontations with a certain funky manfish. The man about town took a deep breath and stepped slowly towards the front door of the house, eyeing up the pond warily in case something should emerge from it. He had no intention of diving into the water, instead figuring there was probably a way to Old Gregg's undergound lair (which he probably had, I mean let's face it. It's Old Gregg. The only creative thing he does is water colours.) in the basement.

He took a deep breath as he reached the door, taking one last look at the outside world before turning the handle and stepping inside as conveniently, it wasn't locked.

Finally, for your viewing pleasure, I present:

Hannah's amazing Star Wars story: The Final Chapter.

"Then Han Solo said 'i like your4 hair leia, but taht's all i like' and then went and had sex with chewbacca, the end lolz"

Or alternatively.. Hannah's amazing Star Wars/Doctor Who crossover story: The Final Chapter.

"LOLZ an then the doctor and the mastor got stuk in the cupboard again and so han solo said onoez i will save yu and so he spoke to obi wan and then it was sorted the end lolzzzzzz."