Title: How do you spell…?
Author: Tally (live2tivo)
Feedback: is like pain medicine…and pretty little flowers, which go hand in hand.
Pairing: None, really. Mark/Roger if you squint really hard, and mentions of Maureen/Joanne
Word Count: 913 (yeah, I know it's short. I have a very short attention span right now.)
Rating: PG/PG-13. Very tame for a RENT fic.
Genre: Humor/Parody or if pain medicine induced is a genre… (I just got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out)
Summary: Mark forgets what a dictionary is. Roger becomes his replacement.
Notes: Written under the influence of massive amounts of pain medicine. If the story makes no sense, I blame the… whatever it is I'm taking.
Special Thanks: To Greens for making me laugh my ass off with this prompt To my pain medicine, which I have discovered is God. To Rachel, if she'll ever answer her phone! And to Thomas, who has called me everyday since we got back from camp, even though he's grounded.
Spoilers: I shouldn't be spoiling anything.
Warnings: If you couldn't tell already, this fic is the result of massive amounts of pain medicine and watching Win a Date with Tad Hamilton and Singin' in the Rain.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Really. I promise. I also do not own You Tube, Wicked, Kermit, Yahoo, or The Breakfast Club.

Even more thanks go to all of the people who have reviewed my 5 previous stories: THEHARRYPOTTERFREAK1331, blue.nails.of.an.angel, To Being An Us For Once, Tokyogirl119, cameragirl, ursomalevolent, kiss the pain, Tara230, MarkCohen69, Supreme Baka, forgetregret13, MersMers, Laurel Ducky, XxBeyond RedemptionxX, Lanhar, UnnamedElement, ickle-s-10, angel718, MissB860, Born2Bbad, Starlight's Delight, L. M. Ward, overthemoon07, aspirer

How do you spell…?

"Hey, Roger?"

"Yes, Mark?"

"How do you spell 'polka dots'? Is it P-O-K-E A D-O-T-S or P-O-L-K-A D-O-T-S?"

"P-O-L-K-A. Why?"

Ever since Mark had discovered the internet, Roger had discovered that Mark had no spelling abilities whatsoever. Mark had given up on spell-check and gone straight to Roger for every spelling question he'd had for the past three weeks. It was getting on Roger's last nerves.

"Never mind, but, Roger, look at this picture."

Roger sighed, ever since Mark had gotten an internet connection, all Roger ever heard besides 'how do you spell such and such' was 'Roger, come look at this.' "What is it this time, Mark?"

"You just have to see this."

Roger reluctantly walked over to where Mark had set up his laptop. "It's not that stupid Anthony guy that you think you look like again, is it?"

"No. Look."

"What's this supposed to be?"

"It's a publicity photo for this new Broadway show called Wicked. Doesn't the one girl remind you of someone?"

"Uh, Kermit the Frog?"

"I was thinking more of Maureen."

"Although Maureen is lacking the greenish skin tone that's highly prevalent in this picture."

"Unless she has the flu"

Roger had to agree with him on that one. Maureen was not a pretty sight when she was sick.

"Should I e-mail her the picture?"

"Only if you want her to start singing 'It's not easy being green' for the next three weeks."

"Good point."

"Thank you."

"Hey, Roger?"

"Yes, Mark?"

"How do you spell 'metallic'? Is there one L or two?"

"Two. Why?"

"I'm e-mailing Maureen about her latest protest."

"Is it against dictionaries and that's why you're refusing to use one?"

"Funny. Hey, do you want to see my new avatar on Yahoo?"

"No."

"But I made one that looks like Joanne. You have to see it."

"No."

"Do you want to see the one I made of Maureen?"

"No."

"But I found a background with a cow and I put a little bulldog in the foreground and everything."

"Did you make one for all of our friends or just your lesbian ex-lover and her current lesbian lover?"

"Roger!"

"What? You set yourself up for it."

"Do you want to see the one I made to look like you?"

"No."

"But it's got plaid pants and a guitar and everything."

"No, Mark."

"Hey, Roger?"

"Yes, Mark?"

"How do you spell 'counselor'?"

"C-O-U-N-S-E-L-O-R. What is it for this time?"

"Oh, I'm blogging about my experiences at summer camp."

"You're doing what?"

"Blogging."

"What's that?"

"You don't know what blogging is?"

"No, should I?"

"Blogs are online journals."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, they just added the word 'blog' to the dictionary."

"Wait, you actually know what a dictionary is? Then why are you still asking me how to spell words like 'counselor'?"

"Shut up, Roger."

"You're only bringing this upon yourself, Mark."

"Hey, Roger?"

"Yes, Mark?"

"How do you spell 'calendar'?"

"C-A-L-E-N-D-A-R. And I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why?"

"I'm on this website called You Tube and I'm watching this video and I want to write a review."

"Why do you need to know how to spell the word 'calendar' to write a review?"

"Here, why don't you just read my review?"

"I'll pass."

"At least watch what it is that I'm reviewing."

"What's the video?"

"It's called 'The Evolution of Dance'. There's this guy who does all these different dances and it's really funny. You have to watch it."

"Maybe later, Mark."

"Your loss."
"Whatever."

"Hey, Roger?"

"Yes, Mark?"

"How do you spell awkward? It never seems to look right when I type it."

"A-W-K-W-A-R-D."

"That's what I thought."

"Why do you need to know how to spell awkward?"

"I'm on this web site with these things called forums and I'm just writing my opinion of certain films and stuff."

"Sounds intriguing."

Roger should have known Mark wouldn't have gotten his sarcasm. "It really is. Come here and see what this one person wrote about The Breakfast Club."

"I'd really rather not, Mark."

"Okay, whatever."

"Hey, Roger?"

"Yes, Mark?"

"How do you spell antidisestablishmentarianism?"

"A-N-T-I-D-I-S-T-A-B-L-I-S-H-M-E-N-T-A-R-I-A-N-I-S-M" This time, having a little bit more sense, Roger didn't ask why.

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You've read, now there's a pretty little button with the word "go" on it that is calling out to you and it's saying "Review!" and I'm saying "Please!" Hehe.