Wow, it's been a while! But I am back (of only for a short amount of time) to bring you mroe of our dear Titans fighting the very thing that makes fanfiction go round: inspiration (which is in disguise as slash). This update is to celebrate the two-year mark of my fanfiction account. I said I would update everything on day of the two-year mark, so here I am!!
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, Freudian Slips, or the number ten. Thank you.
The Titans returned from their pizza outing to see Cyborg writhing on the floor of the main room, wheezing. All nine of them rushed over to him, concern on every face.
"Cyborg?" Robin was the first to speak. "Are you okay?"
"That…" Cyborg choked, made a gurgling sound, sat up, then collapsed on the floor, wheezing some more.
"Did you read another slash story?" Speedy asked in a voice that sounded like a mother scolding her three year old son for wetting his pants.
Cyborg took a deep breath, managed to stop wheezing, and sat up again.
"That was the best experience of my life!" he exclaimed. "I never knew writing a story was so much fun!" He pointed a shaking finger at Beast Boy and began snorting with laughter. "You're gonna love it!" He then collapsed onto the floor again, wheezing.
Realizing that this wheezing had only come about thanks to the insane and un-stoppable laughter that had been coming out of Cyborg's mouth, the Titans left him to it, all of them worried about what he may have written in his part of the fanfiction.
---
It was midnight, and Cyborg was up late checking the Titans' email. He had gotten multiple reviews for the chapter he had posted up, and was enjoying reading them.
"You are a crack head, you loser. What makes you think that any one of the Titans would write anything so stupid? Not even Beast Boy would write something that lame. Go…" he trailed away, not willing to stain his tongue with the nastiness of the next part.
"Man, these are hilarious!" he chuckled, looking at the next one.
"I absolutely loved the Beast Boy and Dora pairing!!!! Please come to my house and yell Boo-yah and I will make myself a hundred different pennames and review this story under each one!!! Then you'll get your thousand reviews."
"I like this person," Cyborg smiled, and began looking into this person's history, trying to find out who they were and where they lived. After all, how was Slash going to know if the same person submitted every single review?
"Dude, this was freakin' hilarious! Please keep writing! You're awesome and I think you really are Cyborg!" was the next review.
Cyborg had five more reviews to read, all of which either said, 'You're on drugs' or 'I love you!' Then he came to a sixth, which became the highlight of his day…well, actually night since it was midnight…
"My name is Rosa Kerovac. You have stained my mind forever with the pairing of Beast Boy and Dora the Explorer. Prepare to die. … But I loved the rest of the story and I really hope you write more and I really want to know what happens between Star and Rob, and please make this a BBRae story and maybe put in a little CyBee or CyJinx or whatever makes you happy. I don't know what would make you happy because this is your first story and you don't have a profile and I really hope that we share the same pairing preferences because you're hilarious and I really would like it if you read some of my stories. Email me!" Cyborg paused for a laughing break, then continued reading the review. "I'm a RobStar, BBRae, CyBee, AquaTerra, and KFJinx shipper myself, and I really hope that you are too because all those pairings are SOOOOOO obvious and the creators of teen titans were on crack because they put BB and Terra together which is so wrong it's not even funny! And that's why there's so many people out there that hate Terra and want her to die and burn and die again and then burn some more! Please turn this into a terra bashing fic, but maybe you could put a little terra and aqualad fluff in there too, because it's kind of cute because they're both losers and everything. And I probably just wasted so much of your life by rambling on, so I'll close with one thing: DIE TERRA!!!!!! Okay, I lied, two: email me!!!!"
"Wow, someone's a tad obsessed…" Cyborg scrolled down, to see that the review was still not over!
"Oh my gosh, I just reread your author's note, and YOU'RE CYBORG??? OMG, I had no idea!!! I probably offended you so much by saying all this, and you're probably wondering why I didn't just delete it and that's because it took me forever to type, so I didn't want to but OMG, you're CYBORG??? Well, it'd be really weird if you didn't like jinx or bee because I said you should be with one of them. Sorry! And tell bb I love him and want to marry him! Love you all, peace out!!! PS. EMAIL ME!!!!!"
Cyborg collapsed onto the floor, laughing his head off. He had found his reason to write. Just getting reviews like that made it all worth it.
---
Beast Boy awoke the next morning feeling excited. He was the next to work on fanfiction, and, unlike the other Titans, he was actually looking forward to it. He knew exactly what he was going to write, and no matter what Cyborg had written, he was going to write his idea.
"I'll get sent to another dimension for this, I know," Beast Boy murmured as he tumbled out of bed and onto the floor, "but it'll be so worth it!"
After deciding not to change out of his pajamas, Beast Boy grabbed his laptop from his dresser and pulled it onto the floor with him. He turned it on, and hummed a made-up tune as the computer turned on.
"I will obey the traffic rules," he sang softly as his desktop came up. He double clicked on the internet explorer icon, and typed in fanfiction dot net in the browser. He was at the point of signing in when he realized he had no idea what the password was.
Putting the computer aside, Beast Boy exited his room and walked down the hallway to Cyborg's room. Getting no answer as he knocked, Beast Boy went in.
Cyborg was not there.
Figuring he must be in the kitchen getting breakfast, Beast Boy turned around and headed for the main room. He walked into the main room to find it empty as well.
About a second later the main doors of the tower were swung open and Cyborg came trudging in.
"Cy!" Beast Boy yelled, and ran over to him.
"B?" Cyborg's natural eye was half closed and his red one was dim. He had dark shadows under his eyes and was slightly slumped in his posture.
"What happened to you?" Beast Boy asked, concerned.
"I was up all night reading reviews," Cyborg answered sleepily. "I promised all those people I would visit their house and yell 'Boo-Yah!' if they reviewed."
"Did you visit any houses?"
"Just one," Cyborg yawned. "There was this one person who's super obsessed with the idea that you and Raven belong together and the Aqualad and Terra are both losers, and their review made me laugh so much that I just had to visit their house to figure out how their brain works."
"You do know it's eight in the morning, right?"
"Yeah, I visited at six thirty," Cyborg shrugged.
"And this person was awake?"
"Yeah."
"Weirdo," Beast Boy shook his head. "Look, Cy, I was gonna write my chapter now, since I'm next, so I just need to know what password and email you used."
"Oh, I used the joint email and the password's 'teentitans,' all one word," Cyborg clapped Beast Boy on the shoulder. "Good luck with the writing. Trust me, the reviewers are hilarious."
"How many reviews did we get so far?"
"Well, the story's been up for less than 24 hours, but I'd say that twenty one reviews in that time is pretty good."
"Sweet!" Beast Boy punched the air. "Well, I'm gonna get writing!" He dashed up the stairs, hardly hearing Cyborg's laughter.
Now humming again, Beast Boy slid onto the floor and pulled his laptop closer. He typed in the email and password, and the fanfiction account page popped up. His eyes whizzed across the page for a few seconds, then he clicked on 'stories.'
There was one story: 'Teen Titans Story.' He clicked on 'live preview,' and began to read.
"WHAT?!?!" Beast Boy yelled, throwing himself backwards. "Why did he do that?"
Besat Boy was shocked. He was appalled. He was absolutely disgusted. Cyborg had paired him up with Dora the Explorer?
"Oh, man," Beast Boy said in a low growl. "Cy, you're getting it now." Now completely abandoning his previous idea, Beast Boy opened Microsoft Word and began to type a new chapter.
He, like Cyborg, started with the author's note.
Hey all you dudes and dudettes out there! It's Beast Man here, writing the next chapter of this crappy story! Of course, it wouldn't be crappy if someone hadn't put me and Dora the Explorer together… Prepare to die!! Kidding…
Anyway, I hope you dudes like my story! Please leave us lots and lots of reviews, because we need them! I'll make sure Cy visits your house and yells "Boo-yah!" if you do!
"Well, here goes," Beast Boy stretched out his arms and began to type.
"Now it was morning," he began, continuing the story Cyborg had started, "and Cyborg was just waking up. He walked downstairs into the kitchen and began making breakfast. Not caring that thousands of innocent unborn chickens had died to serve him the eggs, the stuck them in a frying pan.
"'Dude, don't eat meat!' BEAST MAN yelled, flexing his huge muscles. Cyborg was scared, so he threw away the eggs."
"Aw geez, now what?" Beast Boy looked at the two short paragraphs that he had written. "I dunno what to write! I'm no good at this annoying romantic crap. Umm…"
After thinking for a few minutes, he continued,
"Then, without warning, in came… DUN DUN DUN!!! The Titans East!!! They were visiting Jump City because Bumblebee is a cool leader, unlike Robin who never lets us go on vacation. They decided that Steel City could survive for longer than two seconds without them, so here they are!
"Aqualad and Speedy were arguing about tacos again, and Mas Y Menos were confusing everyone by talking in really fast Spanish. But Bumblebee was nice and said hi to everyone. Robin and Starfire were too busy looking at each other to notice, Cyborg was crying over the trash can, Raven was… missing, but BEAST MAN –swooshy cape noise- said hi back!
"Then Raven came downstairs and was like, 'Whoa, when did they get here?' and BEAST MAN answered in his manly voice, 'Just a minute ago, actually.' Now all our readers here know Raven can be extremely depressing and never comes out of her room, but he biggest secret is that –drumroll- she loves BEAST MAN!!!"
"Oh boy, I'm so gonna be dead for this one," Beast Boy muttered, hardly believing what his fingers had just typed, almost of their own accord. Then, suddenly, without any warning, a small fluttering something popped in front of Beast Boy's face.
"That is a prime example of what is called a 'Freudian Slip,'" the flying thing said. "A Freudian Slip is when a desire or need from the unconscious comes out accidentally. For example," the thing pointed to the computer screen, "this statement about Raven loving you that seemed to come out of nowhere is a Freudian Slip. It proves that you are the one with feelings for Raven!
"This has been your faithful Freudian fairy, with the first of many psychological inserts! (Please note that all fairy appearances are provided in part by the number ten!)"
And with that, the 'faithful Freudian fairy' disappeared, leaving Beast Boy extremely confused.
PS. I've come up with a Teen Titans fic challenge! See my profile for details!