"I will defeat you, Sasuke!" said Neji. "I have super ninja powers and you suck."
"Didn't we already go through this?" asked Sasuke.
"That was me and Naruto," Neji replied.
"Oh. Well, whatever. We're practically the same person anyhow. I say we join forces against Orochimaru because he looks like a girl, after which I will suddenly turn evil and try to kill you, because I find Orochimaru's feminine wiles irresistable."
"Well said! I will join you."
They went to a roadside inn where Naruto and Sakura were waiting. Sasuke walked in and found them making out.
"Sakura!" he cried. "How could you? Don't you know Naruto is MY boyfriend?" He was very upset.
"Gee, Sasuke, I'm sorry," said Sakura. "I didn't know. Let's be friends again."
"Okay," said Sasuke, though he was glaring at Naruto.
"Hey, don't worry," said Naruto. "There's more than enough of me to go around." He then used his super ninja powers to turn into three Narutos. One went to Sasuke and one stayed with Sakura. The third walked over to Neji. "Hi, I wasn't sure if you imagine we have a relationship too, so I made a third copy just in case."
"Oh, no thanks," said Neji. "Ever since that crazy trick you pulled at the stadium I just can't forgive you. Sorry."
"No problem. Shall we go fight some bad guys."
The four ninjas went outside and walked down the dusty road.
"I'm bored," said Naruto. "Let's fly."
They all put their arms back behind them and leaned forward so they looked like chickens. As if by magic all four rose into the air and flew into the forest. Presently they were attacked by a group of weird-looking bad ninjas with eccentric and somewhat disturbing ninja powers.
A excessively overweight ninja who threw globs of fat at people said, "Sasuke! Come join Orochimaru! You cannot resist his creepy feminine good looks."
"No!" cried Sasuke, writhing in sudden pain. Black spots appeared on his skin, shaped surprisingly like flowers and bunny rabbits.
"Leave him alone!" wailed Sakura, but she did nothing to defend her sometimes-boyfriend because she had no super ninja powers. After a long and arduous fight, lasting several episodes and involving much gasping and choking and agonised moans, Neji, Gaara, Lee, Kakashi, and a number of other ninjas who miraculously appeared to aid our heroes lay unconscious or otherwise immobilised on the ground, dripping blood and twitching dramatically. Sakura stood off to the sidelines, biting her nails in horror, while a terribly injured Naruto continued to fight. It was up to he and Sasuke to save the day yet again, but just then a giant tongue whipped Naruto to the ground. It was Orochimaru.
"Join me! Tee-hee," said Orochimaru, giggling femininely.
"OK," said Sasuke. And they lived happily ever after.
THE END.