Title: Slytherin Code of Conduct
Author: Insane Slytherin
Rating: PG-13 or T
Summary: The Slytherins have a Code of Conduct. It's really more guidelines(Pirates of the Carribean?), but what does it say, anyway?
Author Notes: Updated. I no longer care how freakin' long it is. I really don't. I'm getting sick of writing humor. If you want to read humor, then you can bloody well read The Universe of Unknown Chaos. If you don't find that funny, then go read Evadne's Once Upon a Freakin' Time.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but an over-active imagination and this crappy computer.
1. If suspected of rule-breaking, deny it and blame someone else.
2. Slytherins defend their own. We are too few and too mistrusted by others to afford inside battles. If mistrusting of another member, tell someone. If annoyed at another member, channel your anger into taunting and fights with enemies outside of Slytherin. Let them hate so long as they fear.
3. Insults should not be taken lightly by anyone.
4. A mistake commonly made: Dark is not necissarily evil. The majority of Slytherins are dark, but whether you are evil or not is your choice and nobody else's.
5. If you run from a fight beyond your abilities, you are not a coward. You are intelligent.
6. Luck is as wild as a Basilisk. Never trust luck unless as a last resort.
7. Blood and money, though often useful, are no necessity. Ambition is all that is needed for success.
8. Never underestimate anyone, even muggles. Really, don't. It could be the last thing you ever do. Muggles may be slightly inferior, but you should still never underestimate them.
9. Pride is not arrogance. Arrogance is idiotic and no true Slytherin is an idiot.
10. Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he can only do little.
11. Never let your guard down. You never know what is lurking around the corner, because even the best protection and wards have some type of deactivation.
12. When in doubt, smile. It confuses people more than anything else.
13. Just as in life, in Slytherin there is no such thing as 'for free'. There is a price for anything and everything.
14. Paranoia: The sure way to survive.
15. Don't treat others as you want to be treated, treat others as they treat you.
16. Knowledge is its own form of power.
17. The only time you should ever regret taking an action is when you get punished for it.
18. Sarcasm and Irony: A Slytherin's best friends.
19. Rumours. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong, and sometimes it doesn't matter. Listen to the ones that matter, decide from there if they're right or wrong, and ignore the mindless drivel made up by school girls bored with their own pathetic lives.
20. Normal is relative.
21. "If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong." Doesn't matter if a muggle said it, it's true enough.
22. Enough is never enough. Seriously, it isn't.
23. It is not my job to tell you what is right and what is wrong, so I will simply say this: Do what you think is right. Though it may not always be the right thing, it is the best you can do. True, the world always seems to demand more than you can give. If that's the case, then screw the world. As exampled by this list, Slytherins make and live by their own rules and nothing they can do is going to change that.