Prompt: Axel declares scrabble night—Roxas proclaims it dirty word scrabble. Captain Captain Jack Sparrow and crew guest star. Because it's my birthday.

Theme: Dirty Word Scrabble

Words: Rum, Cow, Ball-Licky-Licky Love, Rod

It was the middle of the day, and the camp was pretty quiet. The lake was crystalline and beautiful, its surface unbroken by even a single ripple. On the far side of the lake, one could see where the roots of the trees that made up the forest snaked down into the water, forming a sort of mangrove.

If someone had been outside (no one was) but if they HAD been, they would have seen the reeds around the mangrove shift.

Siefer peered around carefully, making sure he was alone. He desperately wanted a shower, but he was afraid if he used the camp shower someone would walk in on him. Normally that wouldn't be a problem. Then again, NORMALLY, taking a shower wouldn't cause your camp-mates to get excited. The solution? Take a shower fully clothed. But that was awkward and hard to explain.

The counter-solution? Fall in the lake, conveniently carrying a bar of soap.

He had just ducked his head underwater when the surface of the lake began to roll and tumble violently. Seifer let out a yell of distress as he grasped at the roots of the trees, buffeted about by the water.

"s-Salt?" He asked, spitting as the water entered his oral cavity. Since when was the lake salty? He'd swum here before and it had been quite fresh.

… "Oh my god…" Something had just brushed his leg. Something big. He attempted to scramble back up to shore, but another wave crashed down on him, pulling him out to the middle of the lake. He paddled madly, but he couldn't tell what direction was what. Rain was pouring down and obscuring his vision, and when something heavy slapped down on his head, he couldn't stop himself from screaming.

"Jack's hat!" someone yelled in a gravelly voice.

"Don't you mean 'Man overboard'?" A skeptical woman's voice replied.

"Eh? Oh. Yeah, I guess. Haul them both up." The first voice shouted down, "Hold on there, boy! And don't lose that hat!"

Seifer squinted up, shielding his eyes against the torrents of rain. A large, thick rope slapped down to the waves next to him. He spit water again as he dove desperately for it.

"Heave, men!" Seifer felt himself jerked from the water, and soon hands were pulling him on to land. No…not land. Wood. The deck of a ship? He sat up disbelievingly.

"The rain's clearing up," A man said, sounding cheerful. "Gimme my hat." The hat was jerked off his head and placed delicately back on it's owners.

"You alright, lad?" A dark-skinned lady helped him to his feet. "What were you doing out in the middle of the ocean? With soap? Is that Lavender?"

"Anna Maria, dear," the man who had taken the hat patted the woman on the shoulder. "He wasn't in the ocean. And quit sniffing him like that."

"Jealous? Wait, what are you talking about, Jack?" She turned, following Captain Jack Sparrow's gaze. "Oh my god. Where are we?"

"Camp Summer Heat," Seifer supplied. "Summer camp for faggy little boys."

"Hoi! Captain Jack Sparrow! That you?" Councilor Axel was standing on the pier, clad only in his flame-patterned swim trunks. The rain was coming down lightly now, nothing more than a drizzle.

"Axel? Ah—shoulda known that's where we'd been sent."

"….another fag?" Seifer groaned, sliding down and bonking the back of his head dejectedly against the rail.

"The Captain's not a 'fag'!"

"Thanks very much, Mister Gibbs," Captain Jack Sparrow said over his shoulder, "Now could you possibly be quiet so I might converse in a more polite and appropriate manner with the lovely red chap on the dock?"

"Sorry, Cap'n." Mister Gibbs muttered, taking a swig from his canteen.

"Seems like you're missin' a camper, Axel!" Captain Jack Sparrow yelled down.

"Seifer? Ah, he does tend to miss all the fun around here. Send him down, will you?"

"Prepare a boat to go ashore!" Captain Jack Sparrow hollered to the milling crew around him. Mister Gibbs and a man with a parrot on his shoulder jumped smartly to. Wait, no. Mister Gibbs, the parrot-man, and a midget. Sweet. A midget fag.

…

"So…Scrabble night?" Captain Jack Sparrow tipped a bottle back, his feet up on the table, leaning against the canvas of the tent.

"…put the rum away, Jack," Councilor Axel sighed. "This is a youth camp."

"Ah, sorry." Captain Jack Sparrow handed the rum to Mister Gibbs, who grinned and exited quickly. "Why scrabble? Doesn't it seem like enterprising young men, such as the ones that now surround us—" for indeed, the mess tent was full, "—would be better served with an endeavor more concentrated on the physical and or muscular state of their young and healthy material based existences?"

"…they get creative with it. Mind stretching and such. And it's a tournament. Great prizes," Councilor Demyx said, downing a glass of strawberry milk.

"I'll take one of those," Captain Jack Sparrow grinned. He loved strawberry milk.

…

"Roxas had the highest score from the last round—categorized as 'Emo Word Scrabble'. So he gets to choose the theme for this round." Councilor Axel patted Roxas on the shoulder, grinning at him.

"This round's 'Dirty Word Scrabble'." Roxas declared, taking his seat—as high score, he got the privilege of viewing the scrabble board right-side up. On his left was Councilor Axel (the councilors couldn't win or lose the game, but one had to participate in every round), on his right was Riku. Across from him, viewing the board upside-down, was Captain Jack Sparrow.

"You sure about this, lad? Crossing letters obscenely with a pirate?" Captain Jack Sparrow asked, smirking roguishly.

"Bring it on," Roxas grinned at him.

"Alright, then," Councilor Axel dumped the letters onto the table. "Game begins. You're first, Roxas."

…

"…Jack…" Councilor Axel sighed, his head sinking into his hands. " 'Cow shit' is not a word."

"It is so!" Captain Jack Sparrow defended his word. "It's just like bullshit, only more hygienic!"

"But it's like a ton of extra points!" Riku complained, "Councilor! He can't do that!"

"...I really don't think I can allow that word…"

"You let Roxas use 'igmo'. I fail to see the expletive in that expletive. Actually, I fail to see the WORD in that expletive."

"…just use 'shit', Captain…"

"But then I lose my triple word score!"

…

"I say, where's that Seifer boy got to?" Anna Maria looked around curiously.

"Who knows? He doesn't go in for most of our activities any more. After that ping-pong incident…"

"That was your fault, councilor…"

"I tapped his butt. So what?"

"…You mean he's homophobic?" Captain Jack Sparrow drew his letters, making a face as he slid them up against the rest of his collection. "In a place like this? Poor lad."

"He seems to think we do strange things in the showers…" Riku said ponderously, laying his word down. "…'Queer.' I think that puts me in the lead."

"…You're gay," Roxas crossed his eyes as he tried to think of a word to play. "…dammit. Pass."

"…So…" Captain Jack Sparrow laid down five letters, making use of the 'r' in Riku's 'queer'. "…is there a lot of that goin' around here? You know…man-rod, ball licky licky and such?"

"Jack!" Anna Maria stared at his word.

"Sorry, love. I told you to stay on the ship. This is a man's game. And man's talk."

"Jack!" She slapped him on the back of his head, and he flew forward, almost crashing into the scrabble board.

"That's not what I meant, idiot." She told him. "This word works better." She replaced his word.

"…wh…ow…Oh, I do say, Maria. You're a jewel!"

"No outside interferences!" Riku protested.

"Shut it," Captain Jack Sparrow laughed. "Learn to take defeat like a man, Riku."

"It's legit," Councilor Axel shrugged. "I'll allow it."

…

"I can't believe I lost," Roxas groaned as he kicked back from the table.

"Three points, lad. It's not so shameful." Captain Jack Sparrow grinned as Councilor Axel was forced to declare him the winner. "Besides, I'm not sticking around for the next wack-a-wack. Me say un gets winwin. Big joy?"

"…stop talking like that," Anna Maria muttered, sounding annoyed. "You are not a weird African-French Clan god anymore,"

"…oh, but it's such a snaz to pretend, love," Captain Jack Sparrow laughed. "Anyway, we'd best be off, before ol' Gibbsy drinks all my rum."

"…Make sure Seifer's not stowing away or anything, alright? His mommy would be upset if he got trucked off to another world before she signed a permission slip."

"Will do, mate." Councilor Axel and Captain Jack Sparrow shook hands. Then the captain donned his hat. The boys noticed he weaved a bit as he and Anna Maria exited the tent.

Author's note:

Hi guys! Long time no post-y post. Eh….sorry. This chapter's not as crazy, random or amusing as its predecessors. My funny has cramps. And headaches. It's taking painkillers, so maybe it'll be up and about again soon.I have three prompts right now that I am planning on using, and hopefully they will prove to be more entertaining.

Actually this prompt had a lot of promise. I feel like I killed it. I'm totally ashamed of myself.

Please throw stuff. Please Xx

I'm sorry Jen!

Er…Happy birthday to Miss Vix! (who supplied prompt and words and theme and such.)