Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings.

This was written to cure writers block… It did! I hope you enjoy!

"Legolas… Legolas are you in here?"

"Estel? ... Estel is that you?"

"Yes… where are you?"

"I'm over here?"

"Where's here?"

"The cave wall to your right…"

…

"YOU'RE OTHER RIGHT!"

"Don't yell… the orcs will hear you… Are you hurt?"

"Nothing besides the usual you know side impalement and arrow-wound to the shoulder. Nothing new."

"Do you think it was poisoned?"

"The arrow wound? Most likely…"

"How can you tell?"

"The usual symptoms… nausea, vomiting, fever…. You know everyday stuff."

"Oh alright."

…

"That makes… what… five times this week?"

"I think it was six… Oh and look out I think I vomited somewhere in-"

SQUELCH

"Here…."

"MY BOOTS!"

"Sorry…"

"Err… It's fine… Now hold still while I cut the ropes…"

"Okay… OW! That was my wrist…"

"Sorry, it's dark in here… why do orcs always have to live in dark creepy caves."

"It's good for the image."

"Oh… Almost there… DONE! Okay… can you stand?"

"Here let me try…"

…. WUMP

"Apparently not."

"Fine I'll carry you… AGAIN."

"Don't sulk; it's your fault that we're in this mess…"

"How is it my fault?"

"If you hadn't dragged me with you to get that flower for Arwen we wouldn't have been ambushed."

"Well how was I supposed to know something so pretty would be so far into the forest?"

"Haven't you ever heard the expression; 'The prettier the flower the farther from the path?'"

"Wow that's oddly specific…"

"I know… what was that?"

"What was what?"

"That… that noise…"

"I don't hear anything…"

"How can you not hear it… it sounds like… heavy breathing…"

"Wait… I think I hear it too…"

"UGH… Aragorn when is the last time you bathed?"

"Yesterday why do you as- GRAH… what is that smell?... Hey… wait a minute… why do you automatically assume it was me?"

"Well you're usually the one of us who smells funny…"

"But have I ever smelled that vile?"

"Well…"

"EXCUSE ME! LOOK I CAN"T HELP IT IF I HAVE GO A FEW DAYS WITHOUT BATHING… I'M A RANGER I DO THAT… AND I CAN'T ALWAYS BE AS CLEAN AS SNOOTY, STUCK UP LITTLE ELF PRINCES!"

"Sorry… Look I understand the yelling but do you really need to drool?"

"What? I'm not drooling…"

"GRUGH… GREEWLLL…. REWREL…."

"Legolas?"

"Yes, Aragorn?"

"There's a cave troll behind me isn't there?"

"Yes. Aragorn."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"RUN FASTER!"

"I CAN'T, CARRYING YOU!"

"LET ME RUN!"

"ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN!"

…. WUMP

"APPARANTLY NOT!"

"FINE I'LL CARRY YOU!"

"Honnah Lee."

"YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER!"

"I SEE THE EXIT!"

"I SEE THE ORCS!"

"JUMP OVER THEM!"

"ARE YOU CRAZY!"

"MOST LIKELY… JUST DO IT!"

"FINE!"

…

…

…

THWACK

"WE MADE IT!"

…

"I did not know that you could do the splits…"

"I can't…"

"Ouch…"

"I do not think that it is now possible for me to have children…"

"Well it is your fault we are in this mess so don't complain."

"Legolas?"

"Yes, Aragorn?"

"Shut up."

"Yes. Aragorn."