Disclaimer: YuYu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi.

Fake Kuwabara/Kurama, a little Kuwabara/Yukina, and plenty of revenge and humor. Enjoy!

It is amazing what can happen to one little revelation while going in circles on a riding lawnmower in the sun for two hours…

Set after the last episode.

Rumored

Kuwabara Kazuma should have realized that something was very wrong when the girls asked where he was going to college and, upon hearing his answer, giggled and exchanged knowing looks. Scratch that, he should have known the day at the train station when they had laughed.

Urameshi had once told him that women should come installed with a warning system. An unmistakable set of alarm bells ought to warn you when it would be best just to shut your mouth while you were ahead, instead of incurring her wrath. Personally, Kuwabara rarely had this difficulty with females. But he had enough problems with the warning system already in place.

It was not a shut-up sort of warning. It was a too-late, run-like-all-hell-and-don't-look-back sort of warning. Every time he heard the peals of laughter, the ringing giggles, he wondered if Genkai's temple was far enough out of the way to run to, and asked himself if it would be worth having a place in Makai to escape to like the other guys. He doubted he could pay Shizuru the exorbitant amount of money she would ask to guard him, no matter how excellent she would be.

But he truly should have begun running in any direction when they giggled at his college choice.

"Kazuma?" Her locker was right next to his, so it was easiest and more discreet if she cornered him first, her voice trilling in that perpetual female amusement.

"Yeah?" He pulled his head out of his locker. "Oh, hi. Gonna study for that big math test tomorrow?"

"You're so dedicated! I'm sure you'll get into college easily. Where are you going?"

Kuwabara transferred the books from his arms to his book bag. "Well, the university here is partnered with the school, so it's real close and I might have better luck with scholarships."

"That's a great plan, Kazuma," she said, then laughed good-naturedly and walked away. She was the first, and most definitely not the last.

He began to suspect when the response became, "Aw, that's so cute, Kazuma!"

Cute? No, no, Kuwabara was not cute. Kittens were cute, Kuwabara was manly. All of a sudden, he felt for Puu. The poor thing had grown out of its stuffed penguin stage and into an awesome phoenix, and yet Yukimura still persisted in calling him "cute."

He thought about asking what was so adorable about his college choice, but he was afraid to find out.

He found out anyway the next time he was questioned.

"How sweet! You're going to join your boyfriend at college?"

"What!"

She smiled indulgently. "Oh, you remember, the one who was at the train station with you. Minamino, isn't that his name?"

"Hey, I like girls! I have a girlfriend, her name's Yukina! Minamino's just a guy, okay?"

Kuwabara watched them back away in order to discuss amongst themselves.

"I did see him with a girl he called Yukina… she looked awfully small, do you think they really are together?"

"Maybe he has one of each?"

"Oh, no! Kazuma's too honorable, he'd never cheat on anyone like that."

"You're right, I'm sure he's telling the truth."

Rumor successfully beaten into a pulp, Kuwabara happily went on with the rest of his day.

Contrary to popular belief, he could learn if he put his mind to it. And unlike Urameshi, he had found the motivation to improve his academics. He was nowhere near Kurama's star-student grades, but he managed average. And while he lacked the mind for strategy that had set all his partners beyond him, he was almost as well-read as the fox, at least in human literature.

So he happily returned to his studies in peace until he was cornered at lunch later that week.

She sat down beside him with a casual, "Hey, Kazuma," and struck up a conversation of the usual pleasant banter. He found it quite a welcome change from interrogation.

"So you're going to the university, I hear? I guess your grades wouldn't carry you to an overly prestigious place, and it's close. Your sister has to keep an eye on you, huh?"

Kuwabara waited until he had finished chewing and swallowed before replying, "Nah, but she's a real taskmaster, she'll be thrilled."

"I must be lucky to be an only child then. Say… isn't the university where your boyfriend is at?" Kuwabara figured that spitting out his drink in surprise had cost him a lot of dignity, but she continued obliviously as he fumbled for the napkins. "If you predict any earthquakes while you two are there, you can carry him heroically out of the building."

"Where do you keep getting all of this from?" he demanded. "I thought I already quashed all the rumors!"

She twirled a strand of hair around her finger while quietly mouthing "denial" before she answered. "Well, we were down on the college campus the other day, and we ran into Minamino. So we asked him about the situation, and he confirmed it."

"Minamino started this!"

"Really, if you're that close, you ought to call him Shuuichi," she commented thoughtfully.

Kuwabara hoped that the Hatanaka family would forgive him.

--

Having already been motivated to high alert by the giggling, Kuwabara was deeply afraid when Kurama answered his call, completely calm and unperturbed.

It really had been a while, the fox had agreed. Maybe they should get together over lunch, he suggested.

What with all the rumors flying persistently around, who could blame Kuwabara for being highly scared and suspicious that the two were to meet together, at a restaurant, in public?

He really hoped this was not the fox's subversive way of hitting on him. Yeah, he liked him—as a friend. And they were pretty close, but there was just something about being stuck in the woods with a ruthless boot camp-style instructor that caused one to form bonds. After all, look what it had done for Genkai and Urameshi, and it was not like they were, er, he was going to stop that train of thought right there.

Kuwabara slunk in through the door a few minutes late in a casual fashion. Unfortunately, what had passed for casual at the Dark Tournament—wary posture, furtive shifty glances that ought to give one's eyes whiplash, and an air that generally screamed demons-everywhere-going-to-eat-me—was a bit more out of place in this particular café.

Kurama was already seated at a booth, resting his chin on a hand and watching the passerby outside the window with his perpetually bemused grin. Yukina, he thought, would not have sat like that. She would have sat back instead of leaning forward, her posture stiff and perfect, with her hands folded in her lap and her eyes glowing more with quiet content than entertainment. If it were not for the rumors—Kurama's rumors—it could have been her in that seat today.

"Yo." He slid into the seat across from him.

The corners of Kurama's lips turned up in amusement, and it colored his voice as well. "You're late. I took the liberty of ordering for us; I hope tea will be fine."

"Yeah, it's great. I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh?"

He was still amused, and Kuwabara had learned enough about reading his visible emotions to see that the fox was well aware of what he wanted to know, and was in fact taunting him, the sneaky bastard. Annoyed, he demanded, "Why are you spreading those rumors around!"

Kurama accepted his cup of tea from the waitress, who thankfully made not a single giggle at them, and appeared to be in deep thought. He blew on the contents of his cup and took a casual sip, immune to the glowering across the table.

Definitely enjoying this. Maybe the Hatanakas would find some perks in having only one son?

"Well… do you remember the Dark Tournament?"

Kuwabara nodded mutely. Of course he remembered. But what did it have to do with anything?

"You made a comment about the quest-class demon Karasu, calling him part of the 'queer club.'"

"It's hard to hear on the sidelines! Especially with all those explosions!" he defended.

"Nevertheless, it was said. I myself happen to be quest-class, Kuwabara. And I am not inclined to tolerate any insinuation that Karasu and I are in the 'queer club' together."

Kuwabara's cup hit the table with a little more force than necessary. "That's what this is all about? That little misunderstanding?"

The other shrugged. "Your situation is a small misunderstanding as well… I simply helped it along."

"Whatever. Just," he pleaded, "are you going to stop encouraging it now?"

"Of course! I'm glad we had this talk." Kurama smiled in brilliant satisfaction.

The shrimp was right. It was definitely better to have the fox on his side than out for revenge. He began wiping up the spilled drops of tea, then paused, crumpling his napkin in thought. "Hey, wait a minute… how come you waited so long?"

"Oh, that?" Kurama sipped his drink calmly, expounding, "Hiei mentioned it to me the other day, in order to get revenge. I'd sent Mukuro a copy of the tabloid article in which he made an appearance as an alien. She found it quite amusing… I ought to thank you for discovering it."

Kuwabara gave him a long, disbelieving look. "He's right, you've seriously got a masochistic streak…"

Kurama simply smiled his infuriating, indulgent grin. And Kuwabara had to admit that whoever was spreading those pictures at school the next day had captured it well.

…
Owari
…

-Windswift