To Err, Abscond, and Corroborate

Pairings: Hermione Granger/ Severus Snape

Warnings: Strong language, references to sexual conduct,

Disclaimer: You know I don't own this, I know I don't own this, we all know that J.K. Rowling is the only amazing woman who owns this. Got it? Good. Gosh, we should just write a song…

xxx

She hadn't meant it to be so loud.

Honestly, one could easily misjudge the potential for volume that his or her own voice held.

It wasn't her fault.

Not that the black hearted bastard of Hogwarts would ever admit that.

And it had been great sex.

Severus liked to be private about their relationship, especially the aspects of it that took place behind closed doors. Though she'd been out of school for three years, and his work for the side of the light had ruined his well known reputation as a dark wizard, he still liked to pretend that everyone thought him nothing more than greasy, dangerous, intimidating, and apparently, celibate. She supposed it had a certain level of comfort; anonymity with a bit of an original twist… oh, how was she supposed to know? The man was mad.

Breakfast at the staff table usually presented all sorts of odd and interesting conversations. Last week, Hagrid had ruined everyone's appetite by talking about the fungi that had sprouted behind his ears during his first year, when he held a contest with another boy to see who could go the longest without bathing. Several days before that, Madame Pomfrey had caused Harry Potter to refuse to eat at the table for a week after confessing that she had unintentionally… peaked… when changing his bedclothes during his stays at the hospital wing. This week… Hermione had caused an eruption of laughter and whispers by letting slip a loud bit of gratitude to Severus for a fantastic bout of sex the previous night.

Everyone had their moments. Why should Hermione's be counted any worse than the others?

Severus had turned a very unappealing red color. Hermione could see why he typically wore black as opposed to maroon. It was uncomplimentary.

She'd quickly realized her error, and she was no fool. She excused herself quickly with the lie that she needed to visit her parents that afternoon… it was transparent, but it would get her out of harm's way for the necessary amount of time.

Apparently, it took a very long time for Severus to quell his temper, because it was four in the evening, and he was still the same shade of ugly red.

She'd been sitting on the porch for a very long time. Her parents weren't due home for another hour, and she didn't have her key. Not that a simple Alohamora wouldn't have done the trick, but she thought it would be a difficult thing to explain to the neighbors, who had a nasty habit of peaking out their windows and peering suspiciously at her, as though she were hatching some sort of brilliant plan to break in this house in the broad daylight.

The small, signature crack of apparition gave her warning.

Her head had shot up from her hands, and she had looked blankly at the street in front of her. No one was standing there… but there was someone in a distance, way down at the end, emerging from the little clump of trees at the head of their street.

She had rushed out into the middle of the street and squinted hard. There was no way. He wasn't that angry… oh… yes he was. He was very, very angry.

Now, here she stood, staring at the normally sallow, now reddish face framed by curtains of long, black, potion infused hair… and the only thoughts running through her head were anything but helpful.

Holy shite… he's going to kill me.

Oh my god he's scary…

Poor Harry Potter, this is what he had to see every day?

For that matter… poor Neville Longbottom.

Ahhhh terror!

Am I going to get raped?

…and if so, should I run?

hmm… yes, I think I should. I doubt he'll be nice about it.

Oh gods he's getting close.

I really should move.

Oh wow, my feet are literally stuck.

Ok, who's the bastard with the sick sense of humor and the canister of glue? I know there's a reason why I can't move my feet! They were in perfectly working order the last time I checked!

AHHH HE'S SO CLOSE!

Oh, finally, I'm running.

One step, two step, right foot, left foot…

Ok, ok, this is good. This is what we call progress. I'm a quick one, for being so horribly inept in the athletics department…

…Oh shite… he's got a wand.

Agh I'm just screwed. Royally fucked, to state it simply.

Honestly, why am I even running?

She looked back over her shoulder, and with one glance at the horribly dark look on his face, she found her answer.

Oh yes, that's why.

Oh gods, I've got a cramp.

I don't think I can run anymore! Ah, endurance is a bitch.

I give up. He can just kill me now and get it over with…I could really use some water.

Hermione leaned forward and put her hands on her knees for a moment, regaining her breath. She turned around again to see how close Severus was.

Damn, those long strides of his take him a pretty long way.

She looked down the street, weighing her chances. Even if she could manage to get away… he'd still get her. Even if she made it to those bushes, where she could apparate unseen… he'd follow eventually. Even if she-

"An admirable attempt at escaping, my dear, but unfortunately for you, I am far better at playing hunter than you are at playing prey," Severus growled in a low voice, snaking his arms around her middle and pulling her over to the edge of the street, where he could lean her heaving form against a tree.

"It was an accident," Hermione complained, trying to turn to look at him. He refused to allow her to do so. Ah well, at least she wasn't being tortured.

"Oh, really?" Severus inquired doubtfully… dangerously. "Are you sure it wasn't vengeance, for the many secrets I've dragged out of you?"

"Well, it is rather rude that you share them with Albus over tea," she griped, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. He held tight.

"Did you see their faces this morning?" He hissed, finally whirling her around to face him, and pressing her hard against the tree again. "It was mortifying."

"So they all know you're a great shag," Hermione said coyly, shrugging. She refused to be intimidated by this man. Well… she refused to show him that she was intimidated. Then again, she'd just run full speed down a suburban street in an effort to get away from him… hmm. Well, this was her chance at salvation. She's show him. "So what?"

"They're not supposed to know that we-"

"Oh, please, Severus," Hermione scoffed, smirking at him. "They can see that you're a man, what do you think they would expect? Sooner or later you're going to have to get over the fact that I am your former student. Everyone else has."

Severus raised his eyebrows. Did she honestly think that if he hadn't moved past that, he would do so much as lay a finger on her? "Oh, I'm quite far past that point, my dear, as you well know," he said in a low voice, joining in her smirk now.

"Prove it," she whispered, finally freeing one of her wrists from his grasp and moving her hand to grasp his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. He shook his head and pushed her hand away.

"Oh, I'll prove it," he said enigmatically, recapturing her risk and pulling her to the end of the street. "I'll prove it to you on your knees, and on your back, and on the floor, and in my study…"

And apparating back to Hogwarts gates, Severus took Hermione up to the castle and proceeded to prove as much in all these ways and more.

Fin

AN: Now that you've read, I should just let you know that this little one shot stemmed from a conversation I had with someone about what would run through my mind if Severus Snape showed up at the end of my street. I sorely hate writing with Original characters, so I took my thought process and shaped it to fit Hermione's… at the coaxing of my wonderful muse, Trish/Sly/Redtoe33.

Thanks so much for reading! Drop me a review and tell me what you thought.