Gah! My first Saiyuki fanfiction ever! I dunno what came over me to suddenly think up of this but I hope this isn't as disastrous as I think it is.
Disclaimer: Do I look like Minekura-sama? If yes then you'll have to bow down to me! –insert evil cackle here- Ehem! Right, my manners.
Warning: May contain OOC-ness, random-ness and implications. Rated T for language and to be on the safe side.
Dedication: Hehe…dedicated to bakazaruaddict, for actually replying to my random blabbering and I hope we meet at school by this week, Ish-chan XD. And this is also for aeneid for giving me BMI's and telling me all about those stuff, as much as they might have infected me. This came from you, Momo! XP Will we be getting as far as that with the pairing? XDD You know what I mean, don't you?
"Do you feel stupid? If you do then you'd better get your head checked..."
-Me XP
"Ug-ug?"
By Milky Etoile
"…I really don't get it." Goku sighed as he crossed his arms and frowned.
Hakkai gave Gojyo a stern look as he started the engine again. "Goku, you don't need to worry about that. It's something you might or might not understand when you grow older. You don't really need to know that anyway…right, Sanzo?" He smiled cheerfully as he drove Hakuryuu.
"Tch. That damn 'ero-kappa' is just stupid, maybe even more than you are. Bakasaru…" Sanzo lit another cigarette and blew a smoke with an indifferent expression.
"Ko-kono! What did you say!" Gojyo retorted, again threatening Sanzo with a fist.
"It's true. It's your fault the saru's getting even more stupid."
"Why, you! I'll get you for that!"
"Tch. That's what you always say…"
"Shut up, you—"
BANG!
"You were saying?" Sanzo brandished hisSmith & Wesson (is that right? o.O)again, replacing a bullet. "This time, I'll make it hurt."
Gojyo only stayed silent, sitting back and trying to avoid Sanzo.
Hakkai only smiled and drove on. "Maa…it's such a peaceful day today, isn't it?"
The other two didn't respond.
Goku, well…kept on contemplating.
XDDD DDDX (Note: This is my new break XP)
It was, as usual, a bright day of journeying for the Sanzo-ikkou. The sun was shining above them cheerfully as they sat in the dragon-turned-jeep named Hakuryuu with Hakkai driving and Sanzo beside him.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on which you prefer), something was amiss. It was weird, they never expected this all of a sudden.
That is, Goku and Gojyo's unnerving silence. Or rather, Goku's unusual unresponsive attitude.
It had started only that morning, at breakfast. He didn't bother to ask for seconds. But it wasn't only that. He hasn't even complained a single bit!
It was weird, unnerving and quite annoying to them. And if they looked at him, he seemed to have been thinking hard, adding to the 'unnerving' part.
"Oi, bakasaru?" Gojyo waved a hand in front of the golden-eyed boy. He waited for the expected reply. Sanzo and Hakkai also listened eagerly from the front.
But unfortunately (or fortunately, again, depending on which you prefer), they were disappointed.
Goku remained silent with his arms still crossed across his chest, his face scrunched up in thought as he sat in Indian-sitting postion.
The other three almost sighed simultaneously had they not fought the urge to.
So method number 59 didn't work either, it seemed. There was only one option left then…at least, to Hakkai, that is.
He and Sanzo shared a look. Hakkai then nodded to Gojyo, prompting him to suddenly hold on to whatever he could in the back seat.
"O-oi! Hakkai! You—!"
Too bad for him, he didn't have the chance to finish his complaint.
After a step on the accelerator, the jeep lurched forward, causing them to lean back suddenly. Then, after a minute or so of fast driving, Hakkai suddenly stepped on the brake pedal. Gojyo's face hit the back of the driver's seat, despite his strong hold on the side, unfortunately.
"Itte! You could've driven a bit slower you know!" He rubbed his now-red nose and glared at Hakkai.
"Ah, sorry for that," the dark-haired healer said cheerfully. "I didn't mean to step on the pedal that much."
"Well, I say you deserved it." Sanzo lit a cigarette as he turned from looking at the rear-view mirror.
"What did you say, you corrupt monk!" Gojyo bellowed, threatening the blonde with his fist.
"I said, 'you deserved it,' didn't you hear me? Or have you gone deaf as well, gokiburi? Oh, I just remembered. Cockroaches can't hear, can they?"
"What was that! You darn—WHAT!" He abruptly turned to Hakkai, about to ask why he tapped his shoulder. Hakkai just smiled as he gestured towards their 'youngest' (well, technically, he's not) companion. Gojyo, curious, looked to where he was pointing.
"What the hell…" he muttered and stared.
'What the hell,' indeed.
Goku was turned upside-down on his part of the back seat. Literally.
"Yare yare…I guess it must be something so serious to have him contemplate as hard as that," Hakkai commented casually.
And indeed, he was still lost in thought. His eyebrows were still knit together, his arms still crossed and his legs still in the Indian-sitting position—even as his head was on the floor and his small cape under his untidy hair.
"This is useless!" Gojyo almost felt like pulling his red hair in frustration.
"Even method number sixty didn't work," Hakkai said cheerfully as he started the engine again.
"I thought we agreed that was only going to be a last resort!"
"Well, I just thought the other methods wouldn't work anyway so I made that the sixtieth one."
"Damn it, Hakkai! You could've asked my consent before that! He wouldn't have heard it anyway!"
"But you understood perfectly what my nod meant anyway, didn't you?"
"Still! You could've at least—ACK!" Gojyo, again, hit his face on the back of the driver's seat. They had, once again, come to a sudden stop.
"Damn it, Hakkai! Why did you have to—"
"Sanzo-ikkou! Give us the sutra now or today might be the day you all die!" was the answer he received from someone else.
There were about a hundred youkai, just begging to be killed. Well, to them, that is.
Gojyo slapped his forehead with a loud groan. "Why now…" He then got off the vehicle.
"Maa…at least we finally get to have some exercise, don't you think so, Sanzo?" Hakkai turned happily to the blonde as he too climbed off Hakuryuu.
"Tch." Sanzo stepped on his cigarette and brandished his weapon. He was just refilling the chamber when—
BAM!
The three turned back to where Hakuryuu just transformed. They felt like staring at the sight…
…and stare, they did. And it was because…
…Goku just hit the ground. Hard. On his behind. And it wasn't just that that they found unnerving…
…he was still in the same state—arms crossed across his chest, his legs still in Indian-sitting position and his eyebrows still knit together.
Yes, he was still thinking.
"Kuso! He's getting too annoying!" Gojyo loudly complained in anger. "What the hell is wrong with you, bakasaru!" he shouted in Goku's ear.
To no avail though. He didn't even get as much as a little side-glance.
"Stop ignoring me, you useless stupid dolt!"
"Perhaps he doesn't want to be disturbed, Gojyo," Hakkai said calmly, not even minding the apparent growing anger of the youkai that stopped their advancement.
"Stop ignoring us! We're about to kill you and you—"
"'He doesn't want to be disturbed'? Hakkai, he's been on this the whole morning! It's already unbearable!"
"Oh, the lack of argument, you mean? I didn't realize you liked your little debates with Goku."
"That's not what I mea—"
BANG!
"Will you just shut the hell up! Your darn noise is much more irritating than that saru's lack of complaints." Sanzo put a finger in his ear, turning away from the two.
"K-kono! I'll get you for that, you—"
"I SAID, 'STOP IGNORING US'!" The youkai leader was already seething. "ATTACK THEM AND GET THE SUTRA! KILL THEM IF YOU HAVE TO! NOW!" The demons all cried out before charging at them.
As they approached, both Sanzo and Gojyo turned to them with their weapons with enraged expressions.
"URUSAI! STOP DISTURB WHEN WE'RE DOING SOMETHING!" And with that, both attacked those that got too near to them. They didn't stop arguing though.
"It's YOUR fault we're trying to get him to respond at least! You were the one who complained about his unusual attitude!" Gojyo eliminated another five more youkai with his shakujo.
"My fault! I think you're having amnesia, baka! You were the one who suggested we do something about it!" Sanzo shot six demons and then replaced his bullets.
"I DID NOT!" The redhead got rid of another wave of them before making his way to the blonde and reprimanded him face-to-face. "IT WAS YOU!" Literally face-to-face.
The demons were getting angrier at their uncaring attitude. Even Hakkai paused from attacking to go near them and try to stop their argument.
"Now, now. You two shouldn't be arguing at this moment," the brunette said calmly, still with his smile plastered on his features. They went on their 'conversation' with the youkai still around them. They didn't seem to notice that they were already fuming.
One of them had too much of it. 'Damn them!' thought the random youkai. He then caught sight of the 'youngest' (do I need to repeat myself?) member of the Sanzo-ikkou. He grinned as he went closer and closer to him…
"This one's mine!" He lounged straight at Goku, who was still in deep though up to now. Hakkai caught sight of this and his eyes widened in horror.
"GOKU!" The other two turned to the golden-eyed boy, only to see him about to be attacked. The three tried to do something to save him but it was too late…
"WILL YOUJUST STOP INTERRUPTING ME!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" The youkai that attempted to attack Goku soon vanished as he was killed.
"Don't you know how to not interrupt when someone's busy!" An enraged golden-eyed teen went on to get rid of all the remaining demons in less than five minutes. Some tried to escape but to no avail. All of them were gone by his nyouibo in a flash.
Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai only stared as Goku wiped away every single one left. He didn't even let them have the chance to get any action. After a moment, they saw Goku in front of them, looking at them weirdly, especially Gojyo.
"Well?" he asked. "Are we going or what?" Hakuryuu immediately transformed (back) into a jeep without even waiting for Hakkai to say so. The three then followed Goku in getting back to the jeep.
"Goku, why did you—?" Hakkai didn't have the chance to finish his sentence. Why, you ask?
Goku just went back to his brooding state.
So, Hakkai, not having much choice, only started the engine again and smiled cheerfully.
"Isn't it so peaceful today?"
The other two only looked away.
XDDD DDDX
"I STILL DON'T GET IT!"
Their vehicle went into a sudden stop, causing Gojyo to hit the back of the driver's seat again and Sanzo almost hit the glass.
The three turned to Goku—the source of the sudden outburst—who was now almost tugging at his hair in frustration.
"Bakasa—"
"What don't you get, Goku?" Hakkai beat Gojyo to speaking, giving the golden-eyed teen all of his attention, ignoring the redhead and blonde's burning glares.
"What Gojyo said! That's what!" Goku answered, uncharacteristically throwing his arms up in the air to emphasize his aggravation.
Hakkai and Sanzo gave the redhead a look before turning back curiously at him, the brunette again taking the initiative. "What did Gojyo exactly say?"
Goku sighed as he pointed a thumb at the redhead. "Well, last night, I kind of overheard him talking to someone I don't know…and he said something really weird! He said something that sounded like, 'You. Me. Bed. Ug-ug! Now!'"
Gojyo stiffened as he heard that. Hakkai and Sanzo gave him a weird look. Goku didn't mind though and only continued.
"I mean, I know Gojyo's stupid and all—"
"HEY!"
"—but I didn't think he'll go as far as saying such an idiotic thing! He knows how to speak proper sentences at least! So I thought that maybe he meant something else so I've been wondering about it. I didn't want to ask first but I really can't figure it out!" He turned to the redhead and asked.
"So what does 'ug-ug' really mean? Huh? Come on! Tell me!" Goku insisted, pulling Gojyo's sleeve.
The redhead didn't know what to say. "Uh…"
"Well?"
Gojyo only turned to Hakkai, nudging him. The healer sighed as he turned back to Goku.
"Goku…you really don't have to know it…" he started, giving a side-glance to Sanzo, who only turned away.
"But still! Tell me!"
Hakkai gave the redhead a look before turning back. "Well, actually, what Gojyo meant was to have…well…something."
"'Something'? What 'something'?" Goku asked curiously, cocking his head to the side.
"Well…do you remember what we talked about? You know, one time? 'The birds and the bees'?"
Gojyo slapped his forehead as Sanzo coughed.
"Uh…I think so? What's that got to do with that?" Goku asked, almost seeming to have question marks above his head.
"Well, what Gojyo meant by 'ug-ug' is actually to…well…do that."
"Oh…" Goku paused for a moment then blurted out, "You mean he wanted to have babies!"
"No, I didn't!" Gojyo cut in, waving his hands in front of him in defense.
"Then what!" the teen demanded.
"It's—!" Gojyo was cut off by Hakkai again.
"Well, whatever it is, Goku, it's something you're not supposed to do yet. Not at this age of your life. It's not good to do that, okay?" Hakkai asked.
"Un…demo, naze? Why?"
"Well—"
THWACK!
"ITTE! Mou, Sanzo! What'd you do that for! That hurt!" Goku whined as he held onto his aching head—a result of a harisen hitting him hard, courtesy of—well, you know.
"Urusai! Shut up before I kill you!" the monk threatened, brandishing his gun.
"But—!"
BANG! BANG!
Everyone became silent.
"It's such a peaceful day…" Hakkai smiled as he started the engine again.
XDDD DDDX
"Maa," Hakkai cut in, looking at the rear-view mirror again with a cheerful expression. "It seems like Goku's onto it again."
The other two turned back to the golden-eyed teen.
And, indeed. He was back to his brooding.
"Oh hell…" was the only phrase both the redhead and blonde could say.
終りおわり
Owari (The end)
Notes: Well? I know, it's not very good…how did I thought up of this? Well, I think you can blame someone else for that. I couldn't get the phrase out of my head so I had to put it somewhere else XP –pokes Momo- DX Ah well.
Translation Notes:
Bakasaru-Stupid monkey ('baka' for 'stupid' and 'saru' for 'monkey')
Kono!-You! (actually, the literal translation is 'this' but this is used and translated by the official translators like that so I used it as such o.O)
Maa…-Well; you might say (this is usually for females but it actually works here o.O)
Itte!-Ouch! (any expression of physical hurt)
Yare yare-Ah well (or any expression of relief or depression)
Gokiburi-Cockroach (eep!)
Sanzo-ikkou-Sanzo's group
Youkai-Demon/s
Shakujo-what Gojyo's metal weapon is called (I dunno what it means…o.O)
Nyouibo-what Goku's weapon is called (Again, I have no idea what it means - I'm too lazy to research -.-;)
Mou-already, more, again
Demo, naze?-But, why? ('demo' for 'but' and 'naze' for 'why')
Well, that's all I've got for this time. I'm sorry if I haven't updated my other fics yet – I'm getting too preoccupied…o.O RP-ing ish fun! XP I hope you liked it as horrible as it might have. Well, I'll be off now then, I've a lot more to do! I really hate school…TT-TT Ah well.
Ja, mata ne!
Milky Etoile going over aaaaand…
Out!
XP
This one-shot was done, beta read and posted on June 24, 2006.