Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, I just like to pretend I do.

Howdy! Before you read on, I must warn you; this is a spin-off of another story that I'm writing called He is my Master which is a Hatori x Kyo fic, which you should read because it's spiffy, but, really, if you just want to read on - go ahead. There aren't any spoilers in it, I'll just outline the basicevents so that you get the picture.

1. Kyo's moved in with Hatori

2. Shigure's tainting Tohru's mind with attempts to make her thing that Kyo's a prostitute.

And that's basically all you need to know, so if you want to read this anyway, go ahead, but I do highly suggest reading He is my Master and reviewing. Just because n.n;

Oh... and the new chapters coming.

Slowly.

So, on with the mindless, storyline-less drabble! Enjoy n.n

- Dyeh

It was a rare Sunday afternoon in Hatori Sohma's household, a rare Sunday afternoon indeed, because they were 'entertaining' guests of a rather... annoying sort. Both hosts had one person in their midst that they would rather not have, but they had to put up with it.

Because, let's face it, they weren't going to go away.

And, those magical guests that were gracing Hatori's kitchen table were none other than; Shigure Sohma, Yuki Sohma and Tohru Honda, not the most welcome of guests – bar Tohru – but they were tolerable none the less.

Yes, and one of these unique people had a plan. You see, minutes earlier, Yuki and Kyo had vacated the table for a rather long period of time, after Yuki had dared comment on the fact that Kyo had gotten a C for English. Kyo, who had seen the look on Hatori's face, and was petrified, had grabbed Yuki by the collar – and, in a rare moment of rage mixed with terror, as well as the disappointment he felt – Kyo had dragged Yuki off of his chair and outside.

They had returned panting, sweating, and with a few bruises, and although it was pretty obvious that Kyo had picked a fight, Shigure took these 'signs' in a completely different light.

And they were going to hear about it.

"I didn't know you worked for free, Kyo-chan." Shigure said happily, twirling his spoon in his cup of coffee, completely ignoring the seething rage that was directed at him from Kyo and Hatori, who were pretty much sick of Shigure's 'prostitution' jokes.

"I don't." Kyo glared.

"Oh? Yuki, I didn't know you had the money to pay Kyo for his services." Shigure continued.

"I don't." Yuki said, in much the way that Kyo had.

"Then how will you pay him? You can't let poor Kyo go hungry, now, can you?"

"EH? Sohma-san, do you need money to pay Kyo-kun for his services?" Tohru, who was oh-so-quick on the uptake screeched, standing up and taking out her wallet from her pocket; "I'll pay him for you, Sohma-san! I will! How much do you want, Kyo-kun? I'll pay for Yuki!"

That portion of the conversation ended with Yuki, smiling, declining the money that Tohru was trying to shove in his direction. Shigure had then directed her to Hatori, and Tohru had tried to shove the money in his direction, because Shigure had told her that people of Kyo's profession always paid their 'pimp'.

Tohru had then asked; "What's a pimp?"

And, Hatori, seeing no reason to try and stumble over the word – she had to learn about the big world eventually, didn't she? said; "Somebody who manages prostitutes."

Tohru had pondered for a minute, and asked; "What's a prostitute?"

Hatori, again seeing no reason to skip over the question had said; "Somebody who sells their body for sex."

"Oh." Tohru decompressed this information for a few moments, before asking; "... do they get their body back?"

This left Hatori dumbfounded, and unable to tell her that yes, they do. Shigure was in a fit of giggles, Yuki had an unreadable expression on his face, and Kyo wished he could desperately disappear.

And so, the conversation continued;

"Sooooo," Shigure grinned; "Who topped?"

"Who what?" Kyo asked, glaring at Shigure who had asked the question.

"Well," Shigure said; "if you didn't do it for business, I assume you did it because you're addicted to it, so, I was wondering who topped, you both seem to be rather sore."

"What are you on about?" Yuki asked, sighing, leaving Shigure with only one thing to say;

"I'm asking who the one who copped it in the ass was."

Hatori, Kyo and Yuki both sweat dropped, with huge black marks covering their faces. Why was Shigure so direct? It was... disturbing. In fact, they were so busy staring at Shigure that they didn't notice the confused look on Tohru's face until she asked, "Shigure-san, why are we talking about donkeys?"

Shigure wasn't about to give up, either. He needed to know who had topped – even if they hadn't even done anything like that. It was in his nature to think about the most perverted of things, even if they were glaring over the table at him. So, ignoring Tohru's comment, Shigure asked again;

"Who topped?"

"Nobody topped." Yuki replied, exasperated

"So you had turns then? Well, that explains it, doesn't it Tohru-kun?"

"Yuki and Kyo took turns at something!" Tohru cried with delight; "That's so sweet!... but what did they top?"

"Themselves." Shigure replied, smiling happily in Tohru's general direction.

"Oh." Tohru paused; "I wish I could top something..." Images of diploma's and trophies flashed in her mind, and she sank into the chair. Tohru would never be better at anything than other people.

"You can top me." Shigure said.

"Really, Shigure-san!" Tohru cried happily, before being interrupted with a joint scream of;

"SHE WILL NOT!" from the other two resident teenagers at the table.

Yes, the day at Hatori's house had been eventful, in Shigure's mind at least, and by the end of it, he was the only one still grinning. Hatori's face looked older than it was from exhaustion, Kyo had hit his head against the table, and Yuki had vacated after Tohru had asked him why guys had 'butt sex' instead of 'normal sex' and how it actually worked.

Yes, it was a very fulfilling day of destroying Tohru's innocent mind – but not really getting anywhere in the end.

END