Wrote this a while ago on LJ, and I just rediscovered it. XD I figured I ought to post it, even though it's really short. Hope y'all enjoy!
Kissing Lesson
"Taichou."
Hitsugaya sighed. "What, Matsumoto?" He said blandly.
"Have you ever been kissed before?"
His pen slid across the paper, leaving a jagged black line through his careful documentation.
But that was the least of his concerns right about now.
"What?"
She grinned. "I guess not."
"Now wait just a minute," Hitsugaya put the pen down, cheeks slightly pink. "I didn't say that. Stop making assumptions about--" He cut himself off, picked up the pen once more. "We are not having this conversation, Matsumoto. Get back to work."
She ignored him. "Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed about, taichou. You're young still, and there's something about inexperienced boys that is so appealing--"
"I'm not ashamed!" Hitsugaya exploded. "Why would I be--"
"--to a woman," Matsumoto finished calmly, though she had the air of a huntress about her, so when she leaned forward and plopped an elbow on his desk, he slunk as far down as his chair would allow him without slipping off.
Quite unseemly, you understand.
Dear lord...lemme outta here! I'M GONNA DIE.
Good thing his fukutaichou couldn't reach in and pluck out his thoughts, or he'd not only be screwed, but utterly mortified on top of it.
Lovely combination, to be sure.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He rasped, a tiny crease forming between his eyebrows.
"Like what, taichou?" She replied innocently. "I can't very well see myself, you know. Maybe if you were a bit more specific..."
He had been about to do it. Once he felt the muscles around his mouth contort, he knew he had been about to do it.
'The hell's wrong with you, nitwit? Didja take a stupid pill this morning, or what?
He almost showed her the expression she was giving him.
Squaring his shoulders, Hitsugaya sat up. "I gave you an order," he barked, and pointed in the direction of her corner, where he had a table--stacked with paperwork--and a chair situated for her. "Now move."
If it were anyone else being commanded by the reputed child prodigy, his instructions would be carried out immediately, no questions asked--because everyone with a brain in their skull avoided his temper at all costs, of course.
But this wasn't just anyone. This was Matsumoto.
She didn't budge.
"Would you like me to teach you how?"
Hitsugaya blinked. "Did you not hear what I said? Get. To. Work."
"I'm sure you'll enjoy it," she grinned, and the other elbow joined the first. "And besides, I don't make an offer like this every day."
Scarily enough, part of him really wanted to say yes.
You'd be an idiot to let an opportunity like this pass you by, Shiro.
Indeed.
"No."
Wuss.
Her brows arched. "Are you sure?"
Certainly not!
"Yes."
She humphed. "You're no fun at all."
"So I've been told." Hitsugaya weaved the pen between his fingers. "Are you finished with this nonsense now? Time moves forward, not backward, in case you've forgotten, Matsumoto, and we've wasted too much--mmmph."
After a moment or two had passed, she released him, nipping his bottom lip gently before she did so.
"It gets better with practice," she told him, voice low, "but we can take care of that."
Hitsugaya stared blankly.
It probably wasn't possible, but he swore the inside of his mouth tingled.
"Oh," he croaked eventually. "Right. Practice."
Matsumoto laughed, and got to her feet. Striding over to the table, she gathered the reports and dumped them on his desk. "I finished these an hour ago," she said, a wicked twinkle in her eye. "If you're quick, you can come drinking with us later."
He glanced disbelievingly at the papers, and then back up at her, but she had already gone.
"I'll be damned," he murmured.
And out in the hall, Matsumoto Rangiku smirked.
There would be more "practicing" to come, she had no doubt about that.