It wasn't night time, which was good because Jayne needed to think, and the best place for him to think was in the cargo bay while he was workin' out. Most of the crew wouldn't bother him while he was in the cargo bay on account of the noises he made while he was lifting weights. He didn't always make those noises, but it kept everyone away. Who knew that a girl who spent her entire time with a noisy engine would get frightened off by a few grunts and growls? It's not like he was a Reaver or anything.

Jayne lay back on the bench and prepared to lift the weight bar. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he started benching the weights and tried to focus. That gorram crazy girl was acting off around him. It wasn't her normal, "I can kill you with my brain" crazy way- she was acting crazier. The girl was going outta her way to get him to pay attention to her. Talkin' about things a core girl like her shouldn't know about. Maybe she was spending too much time with Kaylee and that's why she started talking about sexin'.

Jayne continued to bench the weights, with each push he tried to figure out what was goin' on with River. He heard some squeals coming from somewhere in the ship and then some shouting, but it was probably nothing for him to worry about. Maybe the moon brain actually started going back to her old crazy ways. That would solve his problem. Cuz he just couldn't get the images of her and sexin' outta his mind.

It wasn't right, she was driving him crazier than her with all of her talk about dirty movies and she started wearing her clothes tighter. She took to wrapping cloth around her waist really tight. She didn't look like a little girl lost in a woman's dress, now she had a figure. It was one of them obvious ones, but it was there. It was enough for a man to get a hold of, like if you held her you wouldn't have no bones poking ya. Thoughts like those led to Jayne thinking it wouldn't be so bad to be poking her.

And that wasn't the way that Jayne wanted to be thinkin'. He started benching the weights faster and harder, pushing away the thoughts of River and sexin'.

Gorram girl, it was all her fault, this was all her fault. She was probably doing it so then Mal would kick him off the boat. But Jayne wasn't about to give up his kitchen privileges for some girl- even if she had nice legs. Jayne wasn't much of a leg man now days, but his ma always teased him that he'd like to touch woman's legs when he was a baby. And those were legs that he wouldn't mind touchin'. Most of the whores he saw were too lazy to shave their legs, so Jayne avoided touching them, but a core girl like River would probably be proper and have everything nice and smooth to touch.

And there he was again, he refused to go to his bunk and deal with his thoughts of her legs. Shephard Book always kept telling him that in order to keep from thoughts about sex you need to find something else to occupy your mind so you can abstain. Jayne thought that was a crazy idea before, but he wasn't being tempted by a young girl then. And if workin' out didn't work, then Jayne figured he'd start taking up knitting or something, anything to keep away from thoughts about her eyes. They were big and sometimes they'd stare at him like a dog starin' at a bone.

And Jayne was back to bones. Next time they were planet side he was gonna pick up some stuff for knitting. Jayne heard the squealing and screaming coming closer now. He hoped she had enough sense to stay away from him.

He stayed on his back and continued to lift weights, he didn't want any trouble and the best way to stay out of it was to stay where he was. The noise was getting louder, but Jayne ignored it. Suddenly it was quiet and he felt someone was near him. The weight bar was above his chest when he looked up and saw the crazy girl looking at him curiously. She bent down a little and that's when Jayne noticed that she wasn't wearing any clothes. Her hair was pushed forward and it kinda covered her breasts, but that didn't change the fact that she was standing there butt naked in front of him. Jayne's arms let out and the weights dropped on his chest. He exhaled a breath of air out forcibly. That gorram girl started giggling at him.

"River, I think it's time you put your clothes on," Jayne heard Simon say. Or at least hi thought it was the doc. Everything was getting a little fuzzy and white, even the noise.

All of a sudden he heard a bunch of people talking at once to her.

"Little Albatross you know it ain't proper to be runnin' around my boat naked as a jail bird."

"River, come one, put on your stuff and we'll go play in the engine room."

Jayne struggled to catch his breath and shoved the weight bar off of him. The clang of the bar on the floor made everyone jump. Jayne rubbed his chest and sat up only to meet River's eyes.

"River, please put your clothes on before anything happens," Simon pleaded.

River tilted her head slightly, "They were itching and binding. The girl wanted to be free and not hide behind the curtains."

Jayne blinked, and River imitated him. Inara stepped behind her and placed a robe around her shoulders. "Come on River sweetheart. There's a time and a place to be without clothing and the cargo bay isn't one of those places." Inara tried to lead River away. The girl stopped and looked at Jayne and smiled, it wasn't much really. Everyone else probably missed it on account of being so distracted by her nakedness, but Jayne saw it.

Everyone left Jayne alone with his thoughts. His eyes widened with realization, "Hey! She's trying to seduction me!"

Yeah, he needed to take up knitting or needle point, cuz that girl was driving him crazy.