Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) own nothing except my crazy ideas. The rest belongs to the lovely J.K. Rowling.

It's Called the TFNBON.

"Oh, won't you go out with me, Evans?"

Lily Evans breathed in sharply as she narrowed her emerald green eyes at the approaching figure. Trust James Potter to ruin a perfect Monday morning.

"Is that a yes, then, Evans? Is this delayed reaction perhaps shock from my irresistible charms?"

"Mmhmm, Potter, I am absolutely stunned. It's been what, five years? And I still am simply in awe. Still."

He peered at her with obvious confusion. "Are you being sarcastic?"

"I always knew you were a genius," Lily muttered before speeding up, leaving Potter and his entourage of giggling girls in the dust.

Alas, she must have forgotten who she was dealing with.

"Well, Evans," James Potter said from her side once again. "I must say that there is some improvement."

Despite the repulsion she was feeling, Lily couldn't help but ask, "Improvement?"

"Yes, improvement," he nodded. "Do you remember what your reaction to that very question was last week?"

Oh, did she remember.

She had been standing innocently by the History of Magic classroom when he had come up and stood beside her.

"Say Evans," he had whispered into her ear. "That's quite a bra you have on."

Mere seconds after that, James Potter had somehow ended up on the floor—as a toad.

Professor Binns had, of course, witnessed the whole thing, and she had been required to spend a week's worth of detentions being lectured on what happened in the past to those who dared to transform their enemies into amphibians. Not only that, she had also had to 'escort' the toad that was Potter to the hospital wing, listening to his croaks of satisfaction and trying to ignore the fact that his little beady toad eyes were practically glued to an area that was most definitely not her face. (She had to change her shirt as well—hey, how was she supposed to know that her new blouse was see-through?)

Wincing, Lily hissed, "Potter, that is beside the point. I still have an aching desire to change you into a pond lurker."

"Ah yes, but you haven't yet. That is improvement."

Lily glared at the insufferable boy. "The only reason I haven't is because you have yet to bring up the state of my undergarments into this pitiful conversation." With that, Lily stomped off for the second (and hopefully final) time.

He was, however, James Potter.

"Would you like me too, Evans?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She smiled with false sweetness. "Only if you would like to be reminded of how it felt like to have warts."

"The warts I can deal with, Evans, if it means I get to be kissed by a beautiful princess."

"I believe that only happens with frogs, mate," Sirius Black, an incoming visitor to the conversation, pointed out.

"Shut up, Sirius," James Potter muttered through his teeth. "We are actually having a semi-decent conversation!"

Sirius frowned. "Sorry mate, but only frogs get kissed by princesses. Toads are just…toads." He grinned. "Sucks for you!"

James threw his hands in the air. "I don't need a lesson on fairy tales right now, Sirius, thank you very much! I am having a conversation with—hey, where'd she go?"

Lily, having taken the distraction as an escape attempt, immediately slowed her pace. Why run away and mess up one's hair when he would just catch up anyway?

"Aw, Evans, don't you run away!" James Potter called. It was rather pointless, however, as he had already reached Lily's side. "You know I only say those things because I like making you mad."

Lily raised an eyebrow at this peculiar statement.

"You know, since it's the only emotion I seem to cause when it comes to you."

Sirius scoffed. "He'd much rather make you—"

"SIRIUS!" James interrupted hastily. "I do believe it's time for you to conveniently disappear. Right now."

"What? Dude, I was just saying that you want to make her scre—"

"Sirius! Leave!"

Sirius shook his head. "I was simply stating the truth, mate. You always go on about what you want to do to her when you are dreaming."

James Potter's eyes bulged out of his head. "Sirius. I think I see Katharine Harding without her top on behind you!!"

"That chick graduated last year, mate," Sirius stated informatively. "Plus, she wasn't really anything special. I should know," he added with a sly wink.

Lily took this moment to conveniently slip into her destination: the History of Magic classroom. Never in all her years as a Hogwarts student had she dreamed she'd be this happy to see it.

Being so relieved from her escape, however, she ran straight into Professor Binns. The sensation of walking into the Siberian tundra surrounded her. Quickly, she took a step back, appreciating the warmth of the drafty classroom.

"I trust that you have not turned anymore classmates into amphibians?" the ghostly professor said in his trademark drone when he noticed her presence.

Lily turned bright red. "Right on, Professor!"

Right on, Professor? She heard the snickers of James Potter and Sirius Black, who had just joined her in the classroom. If possible, she turned even redder.

Binns didn't bother to look at her again. "Good, good."

Shaking her head in embarrassment, she made her way over to where her two best friends were sitting, vowing to never walk to this class again.

Issy Harris, Gryffindor Chaser extraordinaire, threw her head back and giggled. "Did you really just say 'Right on, Professor' to Binns?!"

Lily looked at her slightly ridiculous brunette friend. "Yes, really, I did," she replied.

Issy giggled even more, her chocolate brown eyes twinkling merrily.

Lily turned to her other best friend, curly-haired blonde sweetie Ella Richards, hoping to find some sanity. "She's psychotic."

Ella raised an eyebrow. "You just figured this out?"

"Yes, really, I did," Lily repeated as Issy fell of her chair, her body shaking in laughter. They stared at her incredulously, both wondering something along the lines of why do we put up with her?

"Miss Harris," Binns droned. "Please refrain from rolling around on the floor, if you would. You should be preparing for the lecture."

Issy grinned mischievously as she stood up. "Right on, Professor."

The class erupted into a chorus of laughing and giggling. Issy took a bow and blew a kiss to the crowd. After a meaningful look from Binns, Issy immediately sat down, though the satisfied grin on her face remained.

That is, until Lily whacked her shins. Her grin was replaced by a weak glare.

The class eventually settled down into the deepest depths of boredom as Binns began to ramble on about the controversial history of the Galleon. Lily looked around, searching for entertainment. Some people were sleeping, and others were drawing, playing catch with a quill, pretending to be a fish, eating. . .

She quirked an eyebrow at Sirius Black. He grinned, revealing a mouth full of chocolate frogs. Lily shuddered and began to search her bag for the notebook that she had brought along. It had been a gift intended for diary usage, but Lily had other ideas.

She pulled it out, and began to write.

THE FABULOUS NOTEBOOK OF NOTES!

Property of Lily Evans, and only Lily Evans

Monday, History of Magic

Whatever is this, Lily?

It's a notebook, Ella.

I know what it is, but what's the point of it? It looks like a diary.

We are going to pass notes in it. And no, this is NOT a diary.

Jeesh, I was just making a simple observation.

I know. Sorry. I had an encounter with Potter in the hallway. Again.

You didn't turn him into a frog did you?

Toad, you mean.

You didn't!

I didn't.

You didn't?!

He's in this classroom. Do his feet look webbed to you?

I thought only frogs had webbed feet?

Whatever, the point is he is most definitely not of the amphibian class.

Yes, of course. So anyway, why have you decided to pass notes?

History of Magic has reached a record breaking low. I need something to do.

Right on, Lily.

Issy, please.

Come on, it's funny.

Yeah, well, not to me.

Or me.

You guys are boring.

Fine then. Don't participate in our note-passing.

I didn't say that you bore me. That was Ella.

Yeah, whatever. Anyway. What do you want to talk about?

Shoes.

Seriously, Issy.

I'm being serious.

I would hope you weren't being Sirius. Look at him eat those chocolate frogs!

I've already noticed and chosen to ignore it.

Fine, be that way.

Wait, so this is partly me and Ella's notebook, right?

Uh...why else would you be writing in it?

Shouldn't we be included in the ownership part then? Don't you agree, Ella?

Yes.

Hey now. It was my idea.

Yes, but you just admitted that it was partly ours too.

I hate you.

Hey now, that's not very nice!

Get over it.

I feel slightly insulted.

You should.

Would you just fix the ownership part?

Rawr.

Lily.

I'm fixing it, I'm fixing it.

Correction by Lily:

THE FABULOUS NOTEBOOK OF NOTES

Property of Lily Evans, Isabel (Issy) Harris, and Ella Richards and only Lily, Issy, and Ella.

There, happy?

Very happy!

Ecstatic, even.

I do, however, have one suggestion.

Anything to make you happy, Issy.

Aww thanks.

I was joking.

What?!

Would you please just tell me your brilliant suggestion?

I think it should be called the TFNBON.

It should be called the WHAT?

The TFNBON, you know, the initials of The Fabulous Notebook of Notes.

That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard.

Hey! Ella, you agree with me right?

Course I do.

Yeah, well. It sounds stupid.

Too bad, you've been overruled. It's called the TFNBON now!

Ugh. You guys suck.

So do you, my friend!

Issy!

Oops, stop glaring Lily. I didn't mean it.

You are only saying that because you are afraid.

I am not.

Yes you are.

No, I'm not.

I think you are too.

I AM NOT.

Yes you are. You've been overruled.

Hmph.

Hehehehehe

What's miss Issy so mad about?

SIRIUS BLACK!

Yes, that is indeed my name. Isn't it such a fantastic combination of syllables?

How did you—you were sitting back there—How are you here?

I'm Sirius Black, darling.

Oh stuff it, Black! I saw you walk over here.

You make me sound so dull.

Does it hurt your enormous ego, Siripoo?

Yes, actually, it does. And don't call me Siripoo.

Does that injure your ego too?

No. It just reminds me of poo.

Which is what you happen to remind me of.

Now that does happen to hurt my ego.

Aww, poor Siripoo.

I'm changing the subject.

This isn't even your notebook.

Yeah. Why are you here anyway?

I saw you guys passing notes, and I felt like I needed to be a part of it.

Who's that? Wait a minute. SIRIUS BLACK!! GET OUT!

I now do not feel the need to be a part of this note passing event. I bid thee goodbye.

Shoo!!

You won't be missed.

That hurt, Lilyflower.

You deserve the pain for being such a prat.

I tell you, my ego is slowly downsizing.

That's a good thing, prattles.

Prattles? I actually kind of like that!

You shouldn't, as it is intended to be an insult.

What do you have against my ego, woman! Does it offend you with its greatness?!

OUT OUT OUT!

It doesn't offend me. It annoys me.

Well, sorry for annoying you, my Queen.

Your queen? What?

G E T O U T!

I would explain but you wanted me to leave. I do not question thy Queen's orders. Farewell!

Wait! I, er, command you to come back.

Why would you want to do that Lily!? Have you lost your mind?!

Thy Queen orders me back, and I am here. What does thy Queen need?

Explain this 'thy Queen' business.

Oh. It's just a nickname for you.

A nickname? Really? I never would have guessed.

Are you being sarcastic?

You know, you remind me of Potter sometimes.

I certainly hope you are kidding, Lily. You don't see me casting ineffective love spells towards the object of my affection.

Love spells?!

Oh, dear me, I'm afraid I don't know what I'm talking about--

You know exactly what you are talking about! Did James Potter cast a love spell on me?!

Well, not techincally. But he certainly attempted to.

Great job, Black. Great job.

Wha—Oh. Crap.

LILY! NO!

: : :

Monday, Potions

Thanks a lot Lily! Now we have a detention with Binns!

You just had to hex James Potter right in the middle of class!

And then Sirius Black when he tried to save his friend from a painful death!

Right in the middle of class!

And you just HAD to make it look like we were involved!

So now we have a detention with Black and Potter for BINNS!

How exciting!

It's all I ever dreamed of doing with my life!

How sensational!

Uh, Lily?

Are you even listening to us?

Of course not!

How terrific...

Why not?!

I am making my potion. And I'm sorry, but did you expect me to ignore the fact that James Potter has been trying to cast love spells on me for the past three years?!

Yes.

Ella, did you think I should have ignored it?

Yes.

Overruled!

Shut up.

Heheheh.

Well, I'm back to making my potion.

Of course. Wouldn't want to make your precious Slughorn angry now would we.

I just don't want to get another detention.

Like he would give you a detention.

You never know Issy.

Puh-lease.

I AM LEAVING!

Why are we even friends with her?

Hello?

I'm going to start my potion. It may come up on O.W.L.s

How fantastic.

: : :

Tuesday, Divination

Remind me Lily, why didn't we take Muggle Studies with Ella?

I didn't take it because I live with Muggles. You could have.

Oh. Why didn't I then?

Ask yourself that.

Well. I don't know! I wish Ella was here.

What, am I not good enough?

You are fine. It's just that it isn't complete without her.

Yeah, I know what you mean. Ah, here comes Professor Lundy.

Should I say I see death? Will I get a good grade then?

I am seeing suffering today.

Then I'll see death! Behold thy Grim Reaper!

Tuesday, Defense Against the Dark Arts

I wish I had this in Muggle Studies. It's so boring!

Talk about boring. Divination is the most mundane subject ever invented.

Try algebra.

What's that?! A bra made out of algae?! That sounds kinda cool, actually.

Uh, no. It's the study of--

Hold on Lily! I know this from Muggle Studies. It's a fancy name for a bunch of useless numbers and symbols.

Something like that.

You know, I think I'm gonna make a bra made out of algae. Thanks for the idea, Lils!

...

What? It sounds comfortable. Doesn't it?

Not really.

Aw, stuff it Ella. You're just jealous that you didn't come up with this spectacular idea.

You're right. I'm so green with envy. I wish I thought of making an upper undergarment out of plants.

See, I told you.

Er Lily. Where'd you go?

I need to listen, as this is going to be on our O.W.L.s. Which, might I add, is in 2 months.

Stop freaking me out. I'll be a good little Ella and listen.

Now who am I supposed to talk to about algae bras!

: : :

Wednesday, Herbology, 1 month, 27 days till O.W.L.s

Like what I added?

It's fantastic.

It is wonderful, isn't it?

Yes, it actually is! A great study tip.

Study tip my foot. It's crap.

Your foot?

No, loser. The little additon to our notebook.

You go on believing that. So are we going to use the notebook today?

No, as it is Herbology. How are we supposed to write while planting carnivorous plants?

Good point. Hey, you think Professor Sprout has a stash of algae lying around somewhere in here?

No.

Dammit. I'll have to go to the Black Lake later.

...well then...

Heh! Look at Potter!

Hahaha

He is being attacked by his plant! That is something you don't see every day.

I know! Better enjoy it while we can.

: : :

Wednesday, Arithmancy, 1 month, 27 days till O.W.L.s

Okay. I'm officially bored, Remus.

Me too. Hey, nice diary.

Notebook!

That's what I meant. Why aren't Ella and Issy here again?

They thought this was pointless.

Divination is pointless.

Yeah, you're right about that.

Uh, nice timer. Or whatever it is.

What? Oh yeah, I'm trying to remind Issy to study.

Good luck with that one.

I know.

Hey, speaking of Issy, why was she in the Black Lake earlier?

No comment.

I probably don't want to know, do I?

That would be correct. Oh, where did you get that gash on your hand from?

James's plant.

Oh. Haha!

Be quiet Lily.

You have to admit, it WAS pretty funny

Yeah, well, not when you are being attacked by it.

Oh. Sorry.

Yeah.

: : :

Thursday, Transfiguration, 1 month, 26 days till O.W.L.s

Love your eyes Lily!

Potter is dead.

What'd he do?

LOOK AT MY EYES!

Oh my gosh!

Hehe, love spell gone wrong?

Don't even dare, Issy.

Sorryyy!

But really, what'd he do?

HE CHARMED MY EYES TO FLASH THE BLOODY RAINBOW!

You shouldn't have hexed him in History of Magic.

Right in the middle of class, might I add.

HE DESERVED IT!

Er, McGonagall is getting suspicious. She's staring at us.

More at Lily. I mean, who couldn't? Your eyes are so colorful!

Ha. Ha.

Or maybe Potter's love spell attracts middle-aged female professors!

Just stop right now, Harris.

: : :

Friday, Charms, 1 month, 25 days till O.W.L.s

Hey your eyes are back to normal! Yay!

Oh. Glad you noticed.

It's kind of hard not to.

I'm going to ignore that.

Well, I am not participating in note passing today. I nearly failed my Charms exam last year.

Well. I will too since all Issy does now is make fun of my previous eye situation.

Well sorrrry! It was funny!

: : :

Friday, Care of Magical Creatures, 1 month, 25 days till O.W.L.s

I love this class! So much! Look at all the fuzzy creatures begging us to love them like little lovable trinkets!!

I don't really understand your enthusiasm, but oh well. I'll pretend to.

I HATE IT ALL!

What classes do you like, Issy?

Quidditch and Defense of the Dark Arts.

Quidditch isn't a class.

You can pretend it is.

But it isn't!

I think it is. So ha!

And I think it doesn't count. So ha to you too!

But it does!

No it doesn't!

YES IT DOES!

Stop bickering like my grandparents.

Ouch.

What? It's true.

Ugh. Wait, if it is true, which one of us is the grandpa, eh? Me or Ella?

I'm not even going to answer that.

Fine, loser. You guys are absolutely no fun at all.

A/N: So, here is my first real attempt at a story! I hope that you guys liked it, even if it is a bit odd at some places. The next addtion shall be out soon, but for right now tell me what you thought.

-nirvanabee!