DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything or anyone from the Stargate universe, from the movie to its two spin-off series. That belongs to MGM and other people.
SUMMARY: Shortly before the actual beginning of the Stargate: Atlantis series, this is one of McKay's attempts to get Dr. Beckett to get the chair working again.
SPOILER WARNING: I would advise against watching this unless you have seen the Stargate: Atlantis pilot episode, "Rising." (There's also a humorous reference to the episode "Trinity" in here; can you find it?)
NOTE: This is my first-ever foray into Stargate fanfiction, so please be gentle. (It's also the first time I've ever written a fic with entirely dialogue, for that matter.)
"The Chair,"
By Quillian
"Please, Dr. Beckett, just sit down in the chair."
"No."
"C'mon, what could happen?"
"That's precisely it, McKay, no one knows what will happen."
"Look, when Colonel O'Neill tried the chair, everything was fine, and the only people who were killed were Anubis and his army."
"So? It could still harm us if misused."
"Look… I just need you to sit down in the chair and turn it on. No weapons or defenses or anything. Just to turn it on."
"And the answer is still no."
"Don't tell me you're scared of the thing. Besides, these days, I just mention 'the chair' and you act as though I'm talking about an electric chair used for executions."
"So what if I'm wary of that thing? I have good reason to be, especially after the first time I turned it on! I'm still positive that thing nearly fried me as it is!"
"Dr. Beckett, you're practically the only person we have with the gene to turn it on. I – no, we – need you to turn it on."
"You're just jealous because you have all that brain power in your cranium and yet you don't have the power to turn it on."
"What? That's absurd! No I'm not… err… Look, whether or not I wish I had the gene is irrelevant. I reiterate, we need you to sit in this chair and turn it on because you have the gene."
"Too bad your arrogance can't be converted into energy, otherwise that would solve the whole problem for us."
"Yeah, that's probably – hey!"
"Worse yet, if you're not careful, your arrogance will probably blow up an entire planet, or even an entire solar system."
"Oh, ha ha. Really funny."
"So can I please go back to work now?"
"No, because I'm going to keep you here until I can successfully convince you to sit in that chair just to turn it on."
"If you honestly believe you can pull that off, then I've got a spare Stargate I would like to sell you."
"Well, aren't we just oh so comedic today?"
"That's because you're really beginning to frustrate me."
"Whatever. Now sit in that chair."
"For the last time, no."
"Come on, you don't have any work to do at the moment – wait, is that Dr. Weir?"
"Yeah… she's calling for me to do something."
"Dammit. Fine then, go."
"See you later, then."
"And I will convince you to sit in this chair, which you will do."
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say."
"Argh, I was so close this time… stupid Ancient chair!" WHAM! "OW! Ow, ow, ow!"
"Need medical attention, McKay? Or do you just like hopping around on one foot?"
"Just go back to work, Beckett. Ow, that hurts…"
A/N: So, how was that?
Originally, this wasn't intended to be my first-ever Stargate fanfic, but then the idea just popped into my head, so I had to write it down. However, my intended first Stargate fic is still in the draft phase at the moment. It takes place after the Stargate: SG-1 episode "Cold Lazarus" (Season 1, Episode 6). Be on the lookout for that if you're interested!
Note about the reference to the episode "Trinity": Did you catch that? It was where Dr. Beckett made that comment about McKay blowing up an entire solar system… which McKay eventually albeit unintentionally did in that episode (or at least three-quarters or five-sixths of one).
Note about when McKay kicked the chair at the end: Okay, so maybe Ancient chairs like that don't make a "WHAM!" sound when kicked, but I'm taking a bit of creative liberty here.
Thanks again for reading this! –Quillian