The chapter title is a reference to a poem by Friedrich Nietzsche

No one is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart: for his purity, by definition, is unassailable. -- James A. Baldwin

You will judge me harshly, even hate me for what I am about to tell you. You will say I am wrong, that there was another way, and the actions I took were invariably not suited to what actually happened. But as Queen I have no regrets, I could not let myself think of other people's judgments and the distance that they may cause. It is not a confession nor affirmation, it's a statement of fact in how things are and could be.

Yes, hate me now, for later you will feel no pity or mercy for me. I am sure you will label me for creating such an intricate falsehood. What I am about to tell is not pretty.

I was once a girl of 16 with ponytails in buns. I despise that girl now. So naive, trite and carefree. She knew nothing about the affairs of state. She did not know the price she would cost herself later.

You love that girl, and through that girl you are supposed to love me. For she was perky, a little dumb, klutzy and but always fighting for what was right.

But the first act you must know to understand how I am now.

I was fighting against the wave of attacks from what would become the Black Moon family. The humans that had become brainwashed by the power of Chaos had rendered governments into utter anarchy. There was no peace, there was only war. It was much too soon. It was much too harsh, and the war against them too much too long...

Usagi woke up to the sound of her mother screaming at her for being late to college, yet again. Not that it mattered since she knew that the investment wasn't going to last. Mamo-chan was going to meet her after classes. The glitter of the heart-shaped ring on her left finger told of the proposal that Mamoru hadn't quite gotten around to. It had been what? 4 years now since he'd given her the ring, but in all that time he'd never really told her what the ring was for. She could see him try to summon up the courage, but then his mouth would flap a little wildly before he inserted a non-related comment. Such as last Sunday when they went to the park. The sun was rising, and they were looking over the water of Tokyo Bay. She'd fallen asleep on his shoulder, waiting for him to try to explain why he had roses in his hand for her, but when she woke up to the sound of him wrestling to rouse her, he didn't say anything.

He was supposed to graduate next year from undergraduate, since his overseas studies were delayed by a year due to the battle with Galaxia. The thought of him being killed like that still ran chills through her spine. He was trying very hard to become a doctor, and to expedite the process he'd taken on a few extra classes. Amazing, and lovable as he was he'd already managed to get honors for 4 straight years in a row.

Usagi--she wasn't so lucky. She'd barely managed to pass the College entrance exam. Even though she'd insisted that Mamo-chan would propose to her properly and ask the question that was supposed to be asked, her mother wouldn't take any of it. But life was good as it was.

Makoto was majoring in business (So she could open her dream shop), Rei was furthering her studies as a miko at the shrine, Minako was constantly going to auditions (and being somewhat rejected, though she promised to keep going) and Ami was becoming a doctor as well.

The thought of Sailormoon felt like it was long in the past, the thought of Neo-Queen Serenity was too far into the future for her to imagine. It would have been a content life until this day that she faced it. This is when she began to change and the view of the world changed before her.

Usagi had for once woken up too late and would live to regret it. She had not noticed the sky was filled with red and black smoke. If she had woken up on time for once, perhaps she wouldn't have seen what she saw before her. It did not matter because in the next few months she would get no sleep. Chaos had arrived.

It really isn't any use to explain how Usagi reacted to this moment and time--she did what she'd always had done in the past, that was to transform. It was a reflex, a reflex she didn't even have to think about anymore. "Silver Moon Crystal Power! Make Up!" weren't words she had to utter in years, but they were the same. She'd defeated Chaos once, how could this be any different?

She contacted her friends, who peered out the window at their old enemy and then it began. Chaos took a new tactic that it had not taken in years before. It was stronger, and more powerful that Usagi imagined, and even with the Silver Moon Crystal, it still grew. It was taking over the souls of humans.

"I can't hold out on this! I need help!" Eternal Sailormoon cried.

It was a phrase that had worked so many times in the past, but around her people were being infected, more than before. Chaos knew who she was this time. It knew her power and had learned from its past mistakes. Who needed a minion when a direct force on a tired Sailor Soldier would work? And just like the predictability, she had called her friends.

"Usagi! Don't give up! We'll help you!" Makoto called out.

And then they were all there lined up in a pretty row lending power to that Sailor Soldier that Chaos hated so much. But it had learned, and maybe Usagi had never seen it before, but Chaos knew better this time.

How a faceless entity could be so clever was beyond Usagi, but this was when she realized that Chaos was not the old foe she'd fought before. Tendrils of black energy infected the city, and then it infected the world. The sky became black, people tried to kill each other, and Sailormoon's attention was split. Chaos knew everything about the Silver Moon Crystal. Just like the Ginzuishou had been born and evolved of the Galaxy Cauldron, so too had Chaos been watching and waiting, absorbing more power and knowledge through each incarnation of Chaos. It was loving it. There was no limit to what it could absorb, and it knew, somehow it knew that if it destroyed everything around Usagi that her attention would be split. It knew.

When Eternal Sailormoon was able to ignore the dark power being emitted forever changing the scope of every starseed it hit, so that it was not the mind, but the soul being corrupted, Chaos reached out and stopped its power at Eternal Sailormoon. What was her strength, now was her eternal weakness. All of the power her friends had was being directed towards Eternal Sailormoon. And that's when Chaos hit her friends. Her friends were defenseless, they were giving all their power to Usagi. Eternal Sailormoon could not block for them.

In all of Usagi's history, in all of eternity of the Selene incarnations, none had tried to stop the power of the gifted crystal in the middle of battle, but here, Usagi was forced to.

It would make sense here if Usagi's heart was struck by a tendril of Chaos, her starseed stricken and changed in the face of it, but this is not so. Usagi did as Chaos wanted her to do--let go of her friends' powers so they could block the oncoming attack and refuse any help. Chaos no longer wanted to possess that confounded crystal, but to forever destroy it. It intended to get revenge on the one that Guardian Cosmos had favored so greatly. Guardian Chaos had freed Chaos after a long battle with Guardian Cosmos. The balance of the Galaxy would finally change to their new order, progress would come from destruction and not peace.

For every incarnation that Usagi had killed, she would pay. She would pay for destroying the future, re-igniting future plans of Chaos. Chaos knew that she had given hope to the future Sailormoon--Sailor Cosmos. It knew not if this was Usagi reincarnated a descendant or both, but it knew that at this point and time Usagi had to pay for everything and this was the last chance for it to do so. She had done murder and she should know it.

"Eternal Sailormoon, let us help you..."

"I can't let you, Chaos will attack you again..."

"But can you hold out like that?"

Then it happened, Eternal Sailormoon turned into Neo-Queen Serenity. This was a shining entity that Chaos had seen in the distance. A beacon of endless light that Chaos could not understand. But Chaos was prepared for this too. The sky rumbled with what could be called laughter, the black sky focused over Tokyo, over that one spot, and Chaos hit her with everything it had, including the power it had gathered from Earth's own people.

Neo-Queen Serenity couldn't hold out and collapsed. Defeating the enemy even for a second, Chaos spread out across the sky, so there was no light and for every starseed in existence, every life force it sucked the power it needed to set it's next plan in motion. This was only the beginning. It knew its real goal. And that goal would destroy its enemy once and for all.

Like it hate it, I want reviews with some content. Tell me what you liked or disliked about the story, and most importantly why. Critique Tolerance 10 (burn me like a witch). Thank you.