A/N ok, something silly, funny and utterly stupid. I needed out of the angst. There will be the barest hint of femslash so if you are very opposed to it please click you back button. Also mild talk of drugs, but no acutal use..
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"Oh Merlin what if dad dose something stupid and Tony decides it's all too much and just leaves?" Rose Potter wailed.
Hermione shook her head at her oldest daughter, sympathising completely. If truth were told she wouldn't trade places with her daughter for all the books in world.
Rose Potter was the apple of her father's eye and as such was overly protective of his only daughter. Very overprotective. And now that his baby girl was going out on her first ever date Harry was already frothing at the mouth.
"I'm sure Tony will understand." Hermione soothed her daughter.
Thankfully Rose wasn't looking at her mother for she would have seen the dubious look on her mother's face.
"But mum, Tony had a normal family. I mean he-" She was cut off when her bedroom door was swung open with enough force to have it slam against the wall.
Harry Potter, overprotective father stood framed in the doorway, scowling like he had just been told Voldemort had come back from the dead. Again.
His eye trailed up his daughter's form with a critical eye then announced. "What you wearing is far too revealing I demand you change right now."
Rose looked at the mirror. She was wearing one of her nicer sundresses. The green brought out her eyes and looked great against her curly black hair.
"I wear this all the time."
Harry crossed his arms over his chest. "It shows too much skin."
"It goes down to my knees! And doesn't show any cleavage." Rose exclaimed.
"Shameful!" Harry howled.
Rose turned to Hermione. "Mum!"
Rolling her eyes Hermione frowned at her husband. "Harry, it's perfectly fine, she wears one's just like it all the time."
Harry scowled for several minutes before saying anything.
"This Tony fellow is late." He grumbled finally.
Rose gave her mother a startled look. "Mum?"
Hermione opened her mouth but was cut off.
"Being late means he's not interested in this relationship." Harry stated, his hands on his hips.
Hermione stood. "Harry,"
Harry held up a hand, stopping her from speaking. "No Hermione, this Tony had better have a good excuse for being late."
"Harry,"
"Like he had a dark wizard attacked him, chopped off his legs and he had to drag his legless body to the house."
"Harry,"
"Or he had to save some helpless muggles escape a burning building, was horribly burned."
"Harry,"
"Or he was hit by a the Hogwarts express and will be in a coma for years."
"Harry,"
"Anything else is unacceptable. I'm not going let some bloke who can't even tell the time take my baby girl out. He's probably hopped up on drugs." Harry nodded in satisfaction at this conclusion. "That's probably it, so high on ecstasy he completely forgot about the time." He glared at Rose. "Your mother and I taught you better than to take up with a drug addict."
Rose was just staring at her father open-mouthed at his conclusion.
"You're grounded, for the rest of the summer."
That snapped Rose out of her stupor and she snapped her mouth closed and glared at her father. "For what?" Rose demanded.
Harry glared like it should be obvious. "For being chummy with a drug addict!"
"Tony's not a drug addict!" Rose shrieked.
"Then why is he late?" Harry demanded. "I'm going to write a note to McGonagall, to think she let's drug addicts into the school."
Hermione looked at her watch. "Harry Tony is not late and Professor McGonagall would never let a drug addict into the school."
The door's chime sounded and before Rose or Hermione even had a chance to blink Harry was out of the room and half way down the steps.
Exchanged one slightly frightened look the women ran after him.
"So you must be Tony." They heard Harry say in a cold tone. "You would be here for my daughter then?"
Rose and Hermione couldn't hear Tony's response.
"Where are you taking my daughter tonight, obviously no where fancy seeing as how you're dressed. What isn't my daughter good enough for a fancy restaurant? Don't have enough money? Why should I let my daughter go out with some guy that will sit around on his arse all day while she works hard?" Harry asked no pausing to let Tony answer.
Hermione and Rose arrived at the bottom of the step together and got a good look at the young man standing at the door.
He was dressed in baggy overalls splattered with pain. And right now he looked like he was about to cry.
Or wet himself.
He hadn't expected to come face to face with a seriously teeded off Harry Potter when he had knocked on the door. He had always had Mrs. Potter to deal with. And she was so nice!
Rose and Hermione exchanged startled looks.
"Um dad."
Harry held up his hand stopping Rose from speaking. "No, Rose, Tony and I need to have a little chat on what and what's not appropriate on a date with my daughter."
"Harry," Hermione started but was yet again cut off.
Harry impaled the young man with the same look he had given to Death Eaters and Voldemort. He whimpered softly.
"First, know that I have spies everywhere and I will know where you go, what you do, what you say, and how long you stay. I will also know if you get a case of wondering hands, or are looking at certain areas with too much intensity I will know. And I will make sure it doesn't happen again. Understand?"
The boy nodded, looking pale.
"Harry!"
Harry completely ignored Hermione this time.
"And if you make her cry I will make you cry."
"Harry!"
"If you break her heart I will break you bones."
"Harry!"
"And if you touch her in any way other than a firm handshake I will beat the living snot out of you."
"Harry!"
"And remember that I defeated Voldemort someone like you I could take out in my sleep. And no one would question it."
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Hermione screamed.
Harry turned to her, irritated. "Hermione can't you see that Tony and I are having a heart to heart chat."
"Harry," Hermione said, though gritted teeth. "That's not Tony."
Harry stopped, blinked, and looked at Rose, then Hermione then to the pale, shaking boy, then back to Rose. "This isn't Tony?"
Rose shook her head.
Harry looked at the boy. "Who are you then?" He demanded.
"This is Henry, he and his father just finished painting the sun room. Henry was collecting some tarps they forgot." Hermione said in a deliberately calm voice.
Anyone knew it was her voice she used when she was trying desperately to stop her temper from exploding.
Blushing slightly Harry turned back to Henry. "Ah, good for you, having a job, must do your father proud."
Henry nodded jerkily. "Thank you sir, I mean, no sir, I mean yes, my father's very proud sir."
Hermione smiled at the shaken youth. "Go on and get the tarps, Henry."
Henry couldn't have run any faster. While he was gone Hermione got her purse. Pulling out three, hundred pound notes she glared at Harry.
When Henry came back he gave Harry a wide birth, shooting him terrified looks. He glanced at Hermione, who gave him a soothing smile. She took his hand, pressing the money into his hand. "I trust we can forget this, He's forgotten his medication."
Shooting Harry another scared look Henry nodded. "Sure thing Mrs. Potter." And he was gone.
Hermione glared at her husband. "Harry James Potter."
"I know, I'm sorry but I thought."
"No Harry, you didn't think, you never think. You just open your mouth and words come out with no thought. I hope you'll remember this when the real Tony comes."
Behind them Rose whimpered. "Mum."
Hermione turned to her daughter slightly but didn't turn away from Harry completely "Harry do you remember the night after you defeated Voldemort, the party afterwards? When Fred and George spiked the punch and I got roaring drunk?"
Harry laughed. "Yeah, I found you and Ginny making out. I still can't believe she cheated on me with another girl. Another girl who wound up becoming my wife."
Harry laughed nervously. "Yes well," Hermione was stopped when the doorbell rang.
Harry went to open it, revealing a young blond woman dressed in black jeans and a tank top.
"Hello." She said.
"Tony!" Rose squealed behind her parents. Darting from behind her parents she hugged Tony and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
"Tony?" Harry echoed.
"Nice to see you again Tony." Hermione said warmly.
"Tony?"
Tony smiled back at Hermione. "Mrs. Potter."
"Tony?"
Hermione returned the smile. "Hermione."
"Tony?"
Tony shot Harry a worried look. "Nice to meet you Mr. Potter."
Staring right at her, giving her a bewildered look. "Your Tony?"
Hermione smoothly stepped up, linking arms with her husband. "Harry, meet Antoinette Baker. Tony for short. Tony this is my husband Harry."
Harry looked at Hermione. "But she's a girl." He said like it was something she couldn't clearly see herself.
"I know."
"But, her name is Tony."
"It's a nickname." Hermione explained.
Harry looked at Tony who gave him a hesitant smile. "You're a girl."
Tony nodded, rocking her on the balls of her feet. "Yes sir, since I was born."
Harry turned back to Hermione. "Rose likes girls?"
"Yes."
"Oh." Harry said, looking back at Tony. "Ok."
"You don't have a problem with that?" Rose asked eying her father warily.
Harry shook his head. "If you're happy, I'm happy." Harry said.
Rose's smile bloomed like the flower she was named for. "Oh Daddy." She cried, throwing her arms around him.
Harry smiled, hugging her back. "Now you two go on, have fun."
Rose beaming, quickly linked arms with Tony and pulled her out of the house.
Harry turned to Hermione.
"She's dating a girl."
"I thought you didn't have a problem with that."
"I don't, it's just-"
"Just what?" Hermione asked.
"I can't beat the snot out of a girl!"
Hermione just rolled her eyes. Men.
fin.
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There we go, all done now, I hope the mention of slash didn't bother anyone. And just in case anyone was wondering Hermione's and Ginny's incident didn't get past kissing, and remember they were very, very drunk.
Thanks for reading and if you like it, please review.