Hiei The Voyeuristic Hero

disclaimer: shut the hell up.

----------

It was a fine spring afternoon and Kuwabara and Yusuke were out enjoying it. Enjoying it in the sense that they were full-out brawling in the park. They'd started somewhere near the sand box and had worked their way over to the lake. Of course it was all in good fun, and it would be to their detriment if either of them were to become seriously hurt, but fighitng is fighting and it's never particularly safe. Kuwabara had manged to land a decent kick in the small of Yusuke's back sending the boy tumbling towards the ground. Both boys had thought nothing of it and had been set to re-enter the battle when the shorter of the two cried out in pain.

"Ah holy-moter-of-crap!", he shouted as he grabbed at his back. Kuwabara was immediately at his side trying to assess the damage he'd accidently caused.

"Does it hurt when you move, Urameshi?" Yusuke shook his head, wincing as he tried to straighten up and stand normally. Moments later, he was sitting cross-legged on the ground, his best friend kneading his back with his large manly, yet gentle, hands. Kuwabara was doing his best to work the kink out so as to allow Yusuke to finish out his day unharmed.

All too soon, his back had been repaired and the firm massage was no longer require. That, however, did not stop the red head's hands from continuing their journey along Yusuke's back. Kuwabara's hands wandered up and down Yusuke's back in a manner that was far too friendly to be considered such. The human failed to notice this however and his part demon companion was proving ignorant as well.

"Queers."

Both Yusuke and Kuwabara jumped up from their positions, scrambling to get far enough away from each other to actively dispute the accusation. Their heads whipped around looking for the source of the impromptu comment, but found no one... No one except for Hiei. The short demon stood there, squat and caustic as ever, wearing a look that clearly said he didn't care.

Kuwabara glared at him, immediately realizing who it was that had insulted his manly pride. "I am NOT a queer", he said firmly, crossing his arms across his chest in a masculine fashion.

"Yeah," Yusuke agreed, "he's not a- wait a second! What about me, you fag?" He lashed out and punched Kuwabara, hard, on the shoulder. The taller of the two winced a bit but quickly retorted, "Hey, I can only speak for myself! Don't blame me cause you like boys!" Yusuke punched him again and growled.

Hiei shook his head at the two as they began exchanging blows. He didn't bother to say anything as he leapt into a nearby tree and vanished from sight.

----------

Kurama smiled slightly to himself as he finished off another one of his advanced calculus problems. Earlier in the day he'd been struggling a bit with his latest set of derivatives, but at the moment all remaining tendrils of confusion had vanished into the crisp evening air. He sighed softly to himself, feeling quite accomplished on completing his homework for the evening, and allowed himself to stretch for the first time since he'd begun his school work. His eyes closed as he raised his arms back behind his head and bent his back as far as his human spine would allow him to. Upon opening his eyes, he was greeted with the deadpanned countenance of his dear friend Hiei, who was quite uncerimoniously perched on his work desk. The red headed boy gasped at the abrupt arrival of the short demon, but had not the time to say any more.

"Why are they stupid? Besides them being ningen. Mostly."

Kurama blinked, taken aback by the aprubtness of Hiei's seemingly random question. "Um Hiei, why are 'who' stupid?"

"The idiot and his dumbass friend," Hiei replied, sounding nearly as vague as previous.

"Oh. Those two," Kurama stated, suddenly aware of just who would be the topic of this conversation. He let out a breath, contemplating how to answer, the expelled air gently caressing Hiei's face and smelling vaguely of wintergreen. The short demon was unconcerned with how physically close he and Kurama were at the moment and continued to be so even when he felt a gentle stirring start up in his chest.

"Well, they're not really stupid as you say. Ignorant of more scholastic subjects, yes, but not without knowledge of any kind." His answer was the type that would have been appeasing to most. It was not accusing, nor insulting, or really anything that would express an opinion on the matter. Hiei caught on to this and called him out.

"You didn't answer my question," he said, his eyes narrowing.

Kurama's eyebrows delicately scrunched up in uncertainty. He couldn't be sure what it was exactly that Hiei wanted from him. A positive or a negative? An excuse or a qualifier? "You asked a difficult question."

He snorted in reply. "I asked you why they were stupid. If you don't know then just say so and I'll be on my way." He made as if he were going to leap out of Kurama's bed room window at the slightest inclination of ignorance from the half fox.

Said fox daintily bit his lip before deciding it best to ask a question of his own. "Why are they stupid Hiei?" This was a bit of a gamble on his part considering how fickle Hiei could be when it came to talking. Friendly disucssion wasn't exactly his strong point and he'd never been one to graciously answer questions.

Hiei blinked at him, not quite expecting the question. 'Why didn't Kurama immediately know all the facts of the afternoon?' seemed to be running through his head. But even he could understand that his best friend wasn't a mind reader and would need some background information before he could be of any assistance.

"They don't realize how fond of each other they are." Kurama 'hmmed' at this then asked for an explanation. And so Hiei told of the blatant stupidity that occured that afternoon between Yusuke and Kuwabara pretty much ignoring the fact that he shoudn't have been spying on them in the first place. Once done, he sat back on his haunches and took to looking at his friend expectantly.

Kurama leant back in his chair smiling at his friend's tale. "It's safe to say that the sporadic fighting is in character for them, and the rather involved rubbing isn't too far off either, but I can see what you mean." Hiei leant forward a bit, eager to hear the answer to the question that had been bugging him for hours. "They're obviously afraid to admit that something is between them or totally oblivious to the fact."

Hiei stared at him a moment, before sagely nodding his head as though they were in total understanding with one another. Without another second wasted, he turned and leapt out of the second story window and dissapeared into the night, leaving Kurama blinking at the spot that he'd once occupied.

'Now,' he thought to himself as he sped through the tree tops. 'Just what did he mean by "something"?'

----------

They had been at it for what seemed like hours. One man's will battling against another's in a match of ultimate strength and determination. The sweat poured down their faces to pool at the collars of their shirts, staining them with dirt and sodium. The face of either participant was stern and completely focused on their respective goals, those goals coincidentally being the same.

Their eyes were locked; one pair dark, almost black, and the other a deep brown. Fire burned within the depths of their pupils as they stared at one another. Stared as though there were no tomorrow. Stared until an eyelid began to twitch, then more so and quite violently, and then collapsing altogether bringing it's partner along with it. And thus, victory for the black eyes.

"Yes! I win again!", Kuwabara cheered, leaping up from the floor and doing a short, if not poorly correographed, victory dance. His opponent let out muffled curses beneath his breath, looking less than pleased at his most recent loss.

"Awright Urameshi, you've gotta take your shirt off next!"

"No way man! That'll leave me in boxers and a sock!" Yusuke was not pleased.

Kuwabara smirked down at him and folded his arms, doing his best to appear commanding. "It's either your shirt, or your boxers. Your choice." His smirk widened as he beheld Yusuke's suddenly very flushed face.

"W-what?", he sputtered indignantly.

Kuwabara nodded at him. "You heard me. So make your choice." Yusuke's blush deepened, but his need to preserve his pride overcame his want to retain some of his modesty and the redness in his cheeks faded somewhat. He stood up, a look of determination etched across his face. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, firming up his resolved, then hooked both hands on the elastic of his boxers and pulled down. Kuwabara gasped as he watched his best friend step out of the boxers that had pooled at his feet. There Yusuke was in all of his masculine glory, and boy was it glorious. Kuwabara turned bright red and had the decency to look away. Besides, he'd already stared a moment to long.

"Happy now?" Yusuke asked, grinning like a cheshire cat. Kuwabara didn't answer, just turned redder if possible. He put his hands on his hips, flaunting himself a bit and taking great pleasure in seeing the tall man across from him extremely embarassed. "Well Kuwa? Like what you see?" The black haired boy was now blatantly showing off his goods; posing in ways that made his endowments quite visible and grinning like there was no tomorrow. Kuwabara turned his head as farther to the side, concerned that he could still see Yusuke out of the corner of his eye.

Seeing his feeble attempt to escape the vision in front of him, Yusuke decided to take things a step further. He sauntered over to were Kuwabara stood, one hand still on his hip. He reachecd both hands up to grasp each side of Kazuma's face and he wrenched his head around till it was back at it's original position. The red head barely had enough time to see the evil grin etched across Yusuke's face before his head was jerked downward and his eyes were met with a sight he'd hoped to escape.

Kuwabara stared transfixed for some time before his conscience kicked in and forbade him from gazing any longer. But Yusuke was strong, and part demon to boot, so there was little he could do in retaliation, except... He quickly grabbed his flasher friend by the sides then began to rapidly run his figners up and down his ribcage. The result was somewhat less than what he'd hoped.

He'd managed to send Yusuke into a barrage of giggles, but had done little to alleviate the headlock situation. If anything he'd made it worse, making his half-naked friend squirm sending certain bits of his anatomy swinging. There was little that could make the situation more awkward and that something was equipped with three eyes and an affinity for black clothing.

"I would ask what you two are doing, but I'm sure I don't want to know."

Both boys froze mid-struggle, 10 feet away from each other in the blink of an eye. Hiei's gaze wandered from Kuwabara's mostly dressed form to Yusuke's waist-down nudity and he snorted, shaking his head. Both boys were blushing and feeling extremely uncomfortable. The silence between the three wasn't making it any less so.

"We were... uh... having strip staring contest..?"

Hiei ignored Yusuke's nervous statement, turned and left just as quickly as he had entered. 'Their ability to reach new levels of stupidity is both impressive and disturbing.'

----------

Kurama sighed in pleasure as he worked his rose scented shampoo into his long red locks. There was little better than a good wash to lengthy haired individual. He was currently in the middle of shampooing for the second time, the rest of his body settled comfortable amidst a sea of bubbles and sweet smelling water. After a long week filled with many homework assignments and just as many test, he needed to relax and what better way to do that than to soak in a bubble bath. His eyes slipped closed as he kneaded his scalp, taking extra care to reach every nook and cranny. After all one didn't want to leave any dirt about.

His breath hitched in his throat as he felt the pressure along his scalp increase, but then exhaled slowly, seemingly expelling all of the stress he'd felt that week. He leaned into that sweet pressure working it's way from the base of his neck to the crown and around. His toes curled in happiness at the rather unexpected head massage while the rest of his body fell limp from pleasure.

"Mm, that feels good," he moaned.

"I was hoping it would," answered Hiei.

At hearing his best friend's deep baritone, he jumped in surprise, his whole body becoming tense from shock, and he emitted a squeal high-pitched enough to rival any girl's. Hiei watched all this with a bored look on his face, though faint traces of amusement danced in his eyes.

"Good Lord Hiei, what the hell are you doing here?"

Hiei smirked from his perch on the rim of the tub but didn't answer. He waited until Kurama's breathing was no longer short and distressed and he'd calmned down significantly before getting straight to the point. "They had a strip staring contest. Several, rather."

Kurama blinked at him in confusion before the abrupt statement fully sunk in. "Oh. OHH! Why in the world would they do that?", he asked beyond incredulous.

"You tell me."

The half fox thought for several long moments, unsure of whether or not an answer could be found. "Honestly, I'm not sure why anyone would participate in a strip staring contest, but this could be another way for them to channel their feelings for one another into a physical state."

Hiei blinked once, slowly. Kurama stared at him, having scrambled to the other side of the tub from his earlier shock. "That's stupid." And with that the small demon was headed for the window again. He was poised on the ledge as he took a moment to look back. "You have a nice body," he said, smirking, before dissapearing into the night.

Kurama was left staring at the spot Hiei had once occupied, flushed bright red. A person just didn't say something that sexual in nature and just run off like that. Then again, Hiei wasn't a person.

----------

Hiei continued to spy on Kuwabara and Yusuke, stepping in every once in a while to insult them or make them otherwise uncomfortable before dissapearing. He would follow up these visits by invading the privacy of his dearest friend to discuss his distaste of the two 'idiots' behavior. Their idiocy never ceased to amaze him, even after the 'naked wrestling' incident, and Kurama never failed to come up with a scientifc sounding answer to explain their outlandish activities.

All in all things had fallen into a nice little pattern of spying and questioning on Hiei's part and philisophical answers for Kurama. But all patterns must come to an end lest they become boring or just downright annoying. The end came for this pattern late one night when most were turning in for bed.

Hiei had perched outside of Kuwabara's bedroom window, watching as he turned down the covers on his bed and arranged a sleeping area quite close to it, on the floor. It had come to the demon's attention that Yusuke was spending the night for what appeared to be the 3rd time that week. Considering it was only Wednesday and the week had officially begun on Sunday morning at 12:00 a.m., the amount of sleepovers was becoming a bit ridiculous. But Hiei shrugged this off, beleiving it be the 'something' that Kurama often spoke about when answering his queries on the stupidity of the two idiots.

Kuwabara sat on the side of his bed, reaching down momentarily to retrieve his cat. With Eikichi now resting on his lap, he began to pet her. As he pampered his feline pet he began to ramble to himself, or rather, to his cat. Hiei's ears perked up as he tried to make out what the ningen was saying through the window.

"... I unno. I guess I really really like him but I don't know what to do about it. What should I do Eikichi?" He'd raised his cat to eye level so as to ask for her opinion. She merely yawned in response then squirmed, wanting to be put down. Kuwabara sighed. "You're right. I should just go to sleep and hope that in the morning I don't still l-"

Kuwabara was cut off mid-sentence by Yusuke entering from the hall. "Oi, were you really talking to your cat?", he asked, mirth coloring his voice. The red head blushed and ignored him, prefferring to get in bed, rather than appease his friend with an answer. Yusuke chuckled at his defiance and got settled on the floor. "I'm just messing with you Kuwa. Who the hell cares if you talk to your cat? It's better than talking to yourself, right?" He smiled up at his friend-- a genuine smile rather than his usual sacy smirk or mischevious grin. This caught both Kuwabara and Hiei off guard. It was rare that either of them had seen Yusuke in such a state. He looked genuinely happy for once.

The taller of the two flushed, but smiled just as genuinely back. "Right, Yusuke. Now shut up and go to sleep." With that Kuwabara turned his bedside lamp off and settled under the covers. Yusuke followed suit and soon the room was still sans the ever-moving chest of the two boys as they breathed in the steady rhythm of sleep.

Hiei remained perched outside of the window, attempting to discover what it was that Kuwabara had failed to say by himself. He wondered what, too, could make Yusuke so happy, not that he was particulalry accustomed to that emotion himself lest it involved causing harm, but he could recognize it when he saw it and had a good understanding of the basic mechanics.

The voyeuristic demon was broken out of his deep thought by a rustling inside the darkened room. His demon vision aided by the moon's soft light allowed him to see Yusuke move across the room to where his sleeping best friend lay. The fit teen leaned down, a bit hesistant at first, and his lips met those of his sleeping comrades. He pulled away moments later, smiling sadly down at the sleeping boy.

"I love you Kazuma," he whispered to the night.

Hiei's eyes widened in shock as he watched the boy settle back down into his makeshift bed and drift off to sleep.

----------

Kurama was less than interested with today's English lesson considering he'd already studied the book the teacher was now presenting, and he was hoping to find something to distract him for the next hour or so. Taking a discreet look around his desk, he was dissapointed to find little else but a sheet or two of paper for notes, a pencil, and the book his teacher was speaking about. He sighed to himself, realizing that there was little he could do but pay attention or space out and spacing out was known to get students of lesser caliber in deep trouble with their instructor. However, Kurama was not of lesser caliber and he knew this as well as anyone of his school's administrators did, so he decided to take his chances.

He'd just settled on a topic when he heard his teacher gasp as well as a few students around him. He blinked back to reality and saw the gazes of his classmates focused on a point just behind him. He began to feel apprehension set in as he craned his head around to see what lay behind him. He too gasped as he beheld the form of his best friend, crouched on the empty desk behind him.

"Hiei! What're you-" was all he could manage to say before he was immediately assulted with one of Hiei's questions.

"What does love feel like or look like?"

Kurama blinked at him as per usual and he could both see and hear some of the girls around him gasp and giggle at such a question. His skin was tinged red as he began to answer Hiei in a hushed voice, hoping against all hope that few would hear what he had to say. "It feels like nothing else in the world. It feels like you couldn't stand a day without that person and if you did, you would up and die. It feels like having all of your favorite things at once without any consequences."

Though he spoke fast, Hiei was able to pick up every word and he nodded at him. "And look like?"

For a moment he said nothing, but then the realization dawned on him. Hiei was asking another one of his questions which had continually dealt with Yusuke, Kuwabara, and their actions towards each other. After all this time, he was finally for sure of just how much of a 'something' was between the two best friends. This was a question he could answer for sure.

"It looks like Yusuke and Kuwabara," he said smiling. Hiei's eyes widened slightly and he nodded again.

"Hn. Now I know what to do. Thanks Kurama."

"Y-you're welcome Hiei." He blushed, surprised that his cold and callous friend had actually gone through the trouble to thank him. It wasn't something that happened often, if ever. As if the gratitude weren't enough, Kurama was sent into a total state of shock when Hiei leaned over and kissed him-- full out kissed him!-- in the middle of his English class.

As Hiei pulled away he whispered, "You're all of my favorite things." Kurama barely had time to blush and stammer incoherently before Hiei was gone again, leaving him beet red and quite the center of attention. A chorus of 'Aww's and a few 'Damn's echoed throughout the classroom. The teacher, being rather weak of heart and a steadfast yaoi fangirl, promptly fainted.

----------

After school had let out for the afternoon, Yusuke and Kuwabara had wasted no time in exiting the campus as quickly as possible. One, because they both had detention to serve and would rather not attend, and two because they were eager to spend 'best friend time' with one another. They'd reached the community park that they passed on their way to and from school when Hiei appeared in front of them.

"Wah! What the hell!", Kuwabara shouted as he stumbled back. Yusuke too, took a few steps back, but in a much more graceful manner, though he was no less surprised.

Hiei glared up at each of them, not saying a word.

Kuwabara looked nervously down at him, unnerved by his lack of action towards either of them. Not that he wanted to get a beat down from the short demon in front of him, but at least he'd have a chance to defend himself. Currently the staring was unnerving him. He and Yusuke exchanged glances with one another, then turned their attention back to the demon. The three stared like this for what seemed to be a small eternity before both Yusuke and Kuwabara blinked.

"I win. Now you have to kiss."

The boys blinked in surprise, not quite sure that they heard what they did.

"Uh, Hiei, could you repeat that," Yusuke asked, more than a little nervous.

"I won the staring contest, now you two have to kiss. It's either that or you have to admit you love each other." Yusuke and Kuwabara began to sputter in unison, blushing all the while. Hiei smirked at them, finding the whole situation highly amusing. "Go on. Kiss already."

Yusuke looked up at Kuwabara who had turned his head away and was fidgeting, blushing madly. He then looked back at Hiei who nodded at him. That seemed to be the courage Yusuke needed, for he grabbed Kuwa firmly by the back of the head and pulled him down for a deep kiss. Their lips stayed locked for longer than expected and when they finally pulled away, both boys were panting.

In the silence after their kiss, Yusuke was the first to speak. "Kazuma, I love you." He reached in and they shared another kiss.

"I-I love you too Yusuke," Kuwabara stammered, blushing furiously, as they pulled away a second time.

Hiei grinned, admiring his handiwork. He'd done something good for a change and it felt rather nice. However, he knew just what would feel quite a bit nicer and he left the two new lovers to their gallivanting, in search of his own love.

----------

Kurama was once again holed up in the tub soaking himself when Hiei appeared. This time he only squeaked a little and it was more out of modesty than shock.

"Um... hi?", was all the half fox could say. Hiei smirked and in a flash he was in the tub next to Kurama, quite close and quite naked.

"Hello Kurama." Kurama had no time to reply as his lips were taken in a deep kiss. Not that he minded. After all Hiei was all of his favorite things too.

"Hiei," Kurama panted after they'd parted? Hiei grunted in response. "You have a nice body too." Hiei smiled and kissed his new lover again.

----------

got this idea out of the blue while reading a hieixkurama fic. i just thought it would be funny if Hiei popped up in different places. i might extend this story a bit if i have the time, but there are so many other things I should be working on an this wasn't it. oh wellz.

hey, you kids! there's a kuwabaraxyusuke contest going on, hosted by me and kazima. check my profile for more information. you should enter. entering is t3h smex. XD