Eragon fan fiction- Eragon in 15 mins.

Eragon: Lalalalala skipping threw the creepy mountains fiddle Dee! Ooooo a pretty deer!...oh right! suddenly manly voice I shall shoot….YOUU-- EXPLOSION! What the---ooooo pret- I mean…. I like….this …. Rock…. Ok… enough creepy mountains for me!

On The Garrow Ranch. (HOWDY)

Roran: Katrina… Marry me? No no no… Katrina, will you marry me?... no! not it at all! … pulls hair in all directions and sticks out his tongue KATRINA, WILL YOU MARRY ME! AAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!

Eragon: I'm back from hunting- Uh… Uncle Garrow? Why is Roran lying on the floor all twitchy..?

Garrow: puts in his teeth Now listen here you Nazi elf! I want my APPLE SAUC-- falls asleep

Eragon: ok well,.. I'm emotionally crippled, I live with my crazy cousin and uncle, and for all I know my parents are dead…but I got this shiny rock! Yippers!

Weird town celebration (weirdness in a can)

Roran: Katrina! Katrina! Katrina! Katrina!

Eragon: Rock money! Candy! Rock money! Candy!

Garrow: Orphanage Orphanage orphanage….

Eragon and Roran: WHAT!

Garrow: oh nothing…

Merchant Guy: I can't buy this for anything less than uhhh will a goat do?

Eragon: A GOAT? YOU BET! takes goat and walks away ….OH CRAP that was my plot point I JUST SOLD IT FOR A GOAT! kills merchant guy mwaahhahaha now I'll have all the gold in switerland!... hheeee…

Vrrooom: skipping ahead ((I got lazy))

egg hatches reveals a baby dragon eragon touches it, faints from an orgasm and raises the thing anyways.

this was just something to make the time go by…. Its starting to sound like a porno or something. O.o