Author's Note: Ohayo! Sorry for the wait, ne? Ahahaha... Yes... Well, I'm back. But postings will be slower again with school starting up tomorrow. :sighs: Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to Karumi nyumi (did I get your name right, hon?), my self-proclaimed 'biggest fan'. Thanks so much for that endorsement! Hahaha! Hope you enjoy this chapter.

It has been pointed out to me that I should be wary of making the HP characters too much like the Saiyuki boys. Dually noted. It won't be done, so fear not! I love both sets too much to do that. I just needed to tweak them a little bit. Anyway... this chapter has been in progress for WEEKS, heck, maybe even a month... Oops. O

Sorry that it's so short, I guess. But, I do what I can. I figured a little is better than nothing at all, right guys?

Oh, and to Hikaru, I think it was, I'm not going to make this one a Sanzo x Goku fic, but if you want me to write you one, just let me know and I'll do it, okay? That goes for any of you. If you have specific requests for stories, just tell me what you want.

"Harry," Neville asked in a hushed whisper, "do you think we can trust this guy? And even if we can, how are we supposed to pay for this inn?"

"Never fear! A Malfoy ALWAYS comes prepared!" Draco produced a wallet with a fine array of credit cards. Gojyo whistled in appreciation.

"Gojyo! You lazy, lame-ass excuse for a half-youkai! You better not have forgotten my cigarettes in favor of flirting with some broad!" A thunderous voice surrounded them. All five of them gulped in anticipation. Suddenly, a relatively tall, blonde-haired man wearing creamy-white robes, a strange looking vest (that Draco noted was highly tacky, words not included), and brandishing a gun appeared. Draco noticed that the man had drooping purple eyes and a slightly high peak in his hairline just to the left of the center of his forehead. Ah, the bald spot… he thought to himself, this must be that Sanzo priest guy I'm supposed to look like. Sanzo noticed that while Gojyo wasn't alone, it at least wasn't a woman.

He stared at Draco as the most likely leader. It was, in his experience, respectable blondes that led most successful groups. Not that my group was being terribly successful at present…he thought sourly. Draco stared back at him with quicksilver eyes.

"Gojyo, who the hell are these morons?" Sanzo asked after a moment, never taking his eyes of Draco.

"Don't know. They gave me a lift in their jeep." Gojyo pointed at the white jeep parked next to the green one. The cars appeared to be conversing if the chirps and hoots were anything to go off of.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to take rides from strangers?" Sanzo snapped. Gojyo cringed. Harry and Neville were the only ones to notice, being the only ones in their group who knew what it felt like to NOT have a mother.

"Excuse me, but I think that's a rather sensitive subject for Mr. Gojyo." Harry said politely. Sanzo's attention fell on him.

"Holy shit! Hakkai!" He bellowed. A muffled 'yes?' came from inside. "You better not have had kids at ANY point in time!"

The gently firm tenor voice grew louder as it replied, "And if I had?"

"I'd kill you for giving me a heart attack right about now. And then, I'd drag your sorry ass BACK out of hell and kill you again!" Sanzo's voice didn't lower in volume, a fact that everyone noticed painfully.

"Why on earth would you think that I'd had- oh." Hakkai had just joined everyone else outside, coming face to face with what looked like a perfect reincarnation of him, except that the kid had black hair instead of chocolate-brown. "Well, it looks like we have company, eh, Sanzo?" Hakkai smiled warmly and laughed. Harry found he rather liked this man.

"You don't know this kid?" Sanzo sounded skeptical.

"I swear to you on the life that you restored to me, Sanzo: I have never seen this boy before."

"Sanzoooo!" A whiny voice suddenly breached the barrier of all things sane and a wild-haired, golden-eyed boy appeared. "I'm hungryyy! Is Gojyo back yet?"

"I'm over here, you heinous excuse for a monkey!" (1) Gojyo threw an apple at Goku. It bounced off his head. Goku caught it before it hit the ground.

"Hey, you asswipe! Don't let food go to waste like that!" He took a huge bite out of the fruit. Finally, he seemed to notice that there were other people than his usual companions. "Whorthisguysh?" He asked through the bite that he was chewing.

Sanzo promptly hit the monkey king upside the head with the fan. "You stupid monkey! Can't you at least not talk with your mouthful when we've got company? I swear, you jerks ruin my reputation daily." (A/N: remember that episode of Saiyuki guys?)

Draco smiled. He liked this man. He had class, albeit not when it came to clothing apparently, but he had class all the same. And he knew just how to deal with idiots. It might be all right being mistaken for this man. Sanzo turned to Gojyo and dug through a paper bag until he found a small cardboard box. He sighed in satisfaction, removing a cancer stick and lighting up.

"Those are bad for your health." Harry and Hakkai said as one. Sanzo shot them both an icy glare. Silence fell awkwardly, like a baby blanket that you were trying to sneak out to the dumpster, but instead dropped in the middle of a hallway filled with people you know will ridicule you for the rest of your life for having kept it that long.

"So," Sanzo said after an eternity. "Who are you idiots, where did you come from, and why the hell are you here?"

"Forgive us, oh mighty Sanzo." Draco drawled. Sanzo arched an eyebrow at the kid. With that attitude, the kid could one day make a fine replacement to his title of the badass monk. "We didn't know that we'd be intruding upon your company. If we had, we might've chosen to kidnap this youkai companion of yours and ask for a ransom." Draco gestured at Gojyo, who he vaguely remembered Sanzo referring to as a half-youkai. Even so, the redhead didn't seem like a bad youkai. Not like that Lirin girl…

Goku laughed hysterically at this. "Kidnap Gojyo? Oh, that's rich! First of all, we don't have money to pay for him, and second of all… we wouldn't pay to get him back anyway!"

"Can it, monkey!" Gojyo punched Goku sharply.

"Who said I'd want money?" Draco asked in irritation. "I was thinking of something a little more… valuable. Say… the Maten Scripture?"

The four members of the Sanzo party froze. Could these guys be working for Kougaiji? Gojyo and Goku immediately prepared for battle. Hakkai and Sanzo exchanged a knowing glance. First, it would be beneficial to find out if these kids even knew what the scripture was.

"Really? If you can find it, you can take it." Sanzo secretly pulled out his gun, hiding it in his sleeve as he let his arms hang loose. Gojyo and Goku gaped in shock, weapons dropping to the ground.

"Draco, what are you doing?" Harry hissed in annoyance. "Forgive him. We're new around here and he's an idiot. We don't want your scripture. Really."

"Yes, we do." Draco hissed back, drawing his wand. Harry drew his wand in a flash. They circled each other.

"Um, Sanzo?" Goku asked curiously. "Why are they fighting with sticks?"

In a flash, Neville and Ron had pointed their wands at Goku. "Say that again, monkey boy." Ron's voice was low and dangerous. Goku's face was surprised, followed by a growing irritation.

"Don't call me that! I'm not a monkey!" Goku brought forth his staff (A/N: That Nyo-boi, or whatever the crap it's called…) He'd been itching for a fight for a long time. Kougaiji hadn't shown up in a while… it was sort of boring without him. "If that's not a stick, then why don't you show me what it can do? Or are you too scared?" Goku's voice was taunting, enjoying the prospect of a fight. He only hoped that he didn't make himself hungry again for no reason.

"Bring it on! Neville, I'll take care of him." Ron pushed Neville to the side. "See if you can't get Malfoy and Harry to stop fighting each other."

Neville nodded dumbly and turned his attention on the other two in his group, who had finally started casting spells at each other. He didn't want to get in the middle of that. He could still remember First Year when Malfoy had put the Leg-Lock hex on him. Malfoy's magic was potent stuff, but then he recalled Harry at the Department of Mysteries. Harry was definitely a powerful wizard, too. Yep, the middle of that duel was someplace he definitely did not want to be. He opted for staring at them with Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo.

Goku, who'd been calling out to Sanzo to keep an eye on Neville for the last three minutes, finally noticed that everyone's attention was diverted to the newcomers. Lights and flashes and explosions barraged the onlookers. For those of the Sanzo party, this was something that they had never witnessed before. These boys knew magic, and they knew it well. In between hexes and curses, Harry and Draco argued over the Scripture that hung around Sanzo's shoulders. The blonde priest wondered vaguely if he should be at all concerned for the safety of his remaining inheritance from his master. His grip tightened on the gun. Just in case.

"We don't know what that Scripture does, Malfoy. And why do you want it? We want to get home, remember? How does taking this do us any favors?"

"Come on, if we can get it to that Lirin girl or her brother Kougaiji, what do you think the odds are that we'll end up on the wrong side of the youkai are? From the reactions of the villagers, youkai are dangerous."

"One of THEM is a youkai." Harry pointed at Gojyo, sidestepping a Bat-Bogey Hex (A/N: I really can't remember for the life of me what that does, but I know that it's something to avoid… ).

"Actually," Hakkai spoke up a little hesitantly. Draco and Harry paused in their argument to glare at the monocled man. "If you want to get technical, then three of us are youkai." He gave a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his head, as if to sooth a smack from an unseen assailant before it even fell. Draco, Harry, Ron, and Neville stared. They followed Hakkai's gesture as he pointed to Gojyo, himself, and then Goku.

"Figures that HE'S a youkai…" Ron muttered to himself.

Draco snapped at him. "As if we even really know what they are!"

"Okay, okay. I get the point. No need to get your knickers in a twist." Ron held up his hands defensively, forgotten wand still in his hand.

Sanzo hadn't been paying attention to most of this. The only words he had heard were Lirin and Kougaiji. Oh, surely not! These bastards hadn't...?

"Ohayo, Mister Baldy, Mister Monkey, Mister Eye-Glass, and Mister Cockroach!" Lirin's voice echoed loudly from above them. Eight pairs of eyes looked upwards with a universal groan. "And hello strange foreigners."

Suddenly, Sanzo realized that these kids had, much to his dismay and anticipated dread, met up with Lirin and led the annoying demon girl right to them. His fingers twitched on the gun. Five bullets were all he needed… the four strange, magic boys and Lirin. Just five little bullets… and for his seemingly-magically-refilling banishing gun, five bullets was peanuts, easy, nothing. He used up five bullets an hour just threatening Gojyo and Goku to shut up. Thankfully, Sanzo was much smarter than to actually shoot Lirin, even as she now perched upon his shoulders, tugging at his supposedly thinning hair. An angry Kougaiji on his ass was NOT something he needed right now.

"Can't you find a chair somewhere?" Sanzo lamented, trying unsuccessfully to tip the girl backward off his shoulders.

"Uh-uh. Not unless you give me the Scripture." Lirin closed her eyes and grinned in a very catlike manner.

"Miss Lirin, you are sitting on it. And in case you are unfamiliar with the basic principles of physics, your weight pressing down on it creates more force than your arms could generate to pull it out from underneath yourself and off of Sanzo's shoulders without harming it." Hakkai smiled warmly, pointing at the Scripture, hanging around Sanzo's shoulders, barely peeking out from underneath Lirin. Lirin shifted around, trying to see the Scripture a little more easily. (A/N: Anyone wonder why she doesn't just yank it off his shoulders instead of sitting on him?)

The four teens from the other dimension followed Hakkai's pointing. They gaped. That tacky, lame vest was the Scripture. Draco's face wrinkled. There was no way he really wanted that thing in his presence. Ugh! It was distasteful… Draco mulled over the possibilities of where that thing had actually been and it occurred to him that if a lot of people wanted it, then maybe he could sell it on eBay when he got home. It seemed like something fangirls would jump at to own.

"You guys gonna actually do anything about this thing on my shoulders?" Sanzo snapped irritably.

"Which? The Scripture, the youkai girl, or that chip that you seem to be harboring for as-of-yet unexplained reasons?" Gojyo never could resist a chance to be a smartass. Unfortunately, Sanzo never could resist a chance to shoot at him. As the Banishing Gun was leveled in his direction while Sanzo kept one hand on Lirin, still trying to push her off, the weapon, Sanzo, and Lirin suddenly went flying at a cry of 'Expelliarmus!'

The gun landed in an outstretched palm and Sanzo wound up in a somewhat compromising position on top of Lirin.

"See? What'd I tell you?" Gojyo crowed victoriously. "Goku may be her size, Hakkai may be good with children, and while I'm good with women, she's Sanzo's girlfriend!"

Hakkai wasn't paying attention. Instead, he was paying attention to his 'mini-me' that was holding the gun and, once again, arguing with that blonde. Logically, what he had just witnessed shouldn't have happened; it couldn't have happened. And yet, it had happened. What was the world coming to when kids no older than Goku who were clearly human had strange abilities that were channeled through a piece of wood? Sure, Sanzo was, for all intents and purposes and contrary to most beliefs, human and had usage of holy magic, but how many things could that Scripture really do?

"Excuse me, uh, kid, but could I see that stick?" Hakkai asked Harry politely. Harry looked at him blankly, accidentally pointing the gun at him. Hakkai flinched, knowing the full extent of the weapon. He hadn't been on this end of the Banishing Gun since Sanzo had arrested him at the time when he still went by Cho Gonou.

"Huh? Oh, my wand? I guess so, but I doubt you'll find it useful at all. And my name is Harry." Harry held out his wand for the slender man to take. Hakkai took it gingerly, as if expecting it to fling him around as well.

"Harry? What a weird name…" Hakkai mused, thinking over the origins of such a strange-sounding name. "British… usually short for Harrison or Harold." Hakkai began his examination of the mysterious piece of holly wood. He could feel its magical presence, just as he could feel the magical presence around the four intruders. But it wasn't youkai or malicious, just… different. He examined the 11 ½ inches of well-worn stick, trying to figure out how one made it work. His research was interrupted when blazing fire surrounded them all in a circle.

"Ah, shit!" Goku cried, leaping into battle stance. "Kougaiji decided to pay us a visit!" He announced quite unnecessarily. Ron and Neville followed Goku's lead. After all, who were they to question someone who obviously knew the area better than they did? If Goku was ready to fight, then they should be, too.

Into their midst dropped three figures, one with long, flowing tendrils of crimson hair. He wore immaculate khaki pants and an open vest. His ears were long and pointed and he bore a dark mark on his face like a patch of flames. (A/N: Haha… Dark Mark…) He strode fiercely over to where Sanzo was busy trying to wrestle Lirin away from the Maten Scripture, looming over her slightly. Both participants stopped when Kougaiji's shadow loomed over them. Sanzo slowly looked up at his arch-nemesis/rival person who seemed to enjoy saving his ass more often than not.

"Sanzo," Kougaiji ground his teeth. "A union of my family with yours is not something I want. So kindly remove yourself from my sister, or I will do it for you."

"Yeah, yeah, your Highness. Tell the kid to let go of me, and I'll be outside a five foot radius before you can summon the demon of darkness to your side."

Kougaiji glowered, but the scene before him told him that Lirin was, in fact, not letting go of Sanzo. He rolled his purple eyes and hauled Sanzo to his feet by the back of the robes, resisting the urge to snatch away the Scripture as he did so. That would've been too easy. Once Sanzo was intently digging in his ear with his pinky next to Gojyo, Kougaiji helped Lirin stand up.

"You really have to stop running off, Lirin." Kougaiji looked at her sternly, voice commanding.

"Lirin is sorry." Lirin hung her head, ashamed. Kougaiji's eyes softened imperceptibly.

Harry, Draco, Ron, and Neville stood gaping. When were they going to wake up from this god-awful dream? Hakkai had resumed inspecting the wood, not at all fazed by the fact that there were three other youkai around that had a habit of fighting him. An ample-chested, purple-haired demon woman sidled over to Hakkai. Ron stared at her, eyes nearly popping out of his skull. What would Hermione look like in a thing like that? He wondered devilishly. Drool began to slide out the side of his mouth and blood ran from his nose. Neville looked at him disgustedly.

"Get a hold of yourself, Ron." He muttered. Ron instinctively reached for himself. "Not like that, you idiot! Merlin, we're in public!" Neville grabbed Ron's free hand and gave a sharp twist. Ron snapped out of his daze.

"Huh?" he asked Neville, who had let go of Ron again. "What's going on? Why do I have a bloody nose? Did someone hit me after hexing me or something?"

Neville shook his head. "You're hopeless."

Goku, nearby, sniggered. "Hey, he'll get along great with that stupid, pervy, erokappa."

Neville raised an eyebrow, but smiled in return. "My name's Neville." He extended his hand for Goku to shake. Goku stared at the slightly pudgy boy intently. He had never had someone so willingly offer friendship to him without knowing a thing about him. (Gojyo and Hakkai didn't count because Sanzo had practically forced Goku on them, and Sanzo was definitely not in that category because Sanzo had found him and yelled at him to 'shut the hell up.') Smiling hesitantly, he accepted the proffered hand.

"Goku. It's nice to meet you. Can you do what that other guy did with your stick?" Goku's gaze rested on Neville's wand.

"Uh, yeah. That was a more basic spell. All of us here go to a school that trains you how to use your power. We're all born with it naturally. The blonde, Malfoy, Ron, that redhead, and I are all what you'd call purebloods, not that that really means much anymore. There's a lot of people, like Harry, that guy with green eyes and black hair, who are half-bloods or who don't even come from magic families at all."

Goku nodded his understanding. "So, is Malfoy that guy's real name?"

"Yes, do you think my name's funny?" Draco had strolled over to the conversation, having heard his name mentioned. He assumed that, since they were discussing him to some degree, then it must be an important conversation worthy of his attention.

"Not really."

"Good. Otherwise I'd have to A.K. you." Draco smirked and gradually pocketed his wand again. His own companions knew that A.K. meant 'Avada Kedavra', the killing curse. No one else knew what it meant, but it didn't sound like something they wanted to be on the receiving end of.

"And then I'd have to hit you for doing something to the monkey." Gojyo, still carrying his own weapon sidled over to them. "I've got first dibs on killing him." He added with a wink.

"As if, water wimp." Goku snarled.

A full round of bickering started up. Draco examined his fingernails intently. This could get old really fast. He didn't even move when a bullet whizzed by him, narrowly missing the two combating youkai. He just waited. The argument had stopped. He glanced at the targets of the bullet. Still alive. Damn. Either that monk had really bad aim or he didn't have the heart to shoot them. Such loyalty to lesser beings was pointless. Surely someone like this Sanzo could find better flunkies… As a Malfoy, he would've destroyed such distasteful companions.

Author's Closing Note:

(1) I read this same sort of insult in a fanfic author's story here. I can't remember the author's name at the moment b/c it was a HP fiction, and I read about 25 of them currently... But it's in one where Draco and Harry are mates cuz D's a Veela and he's writing to Tonks, his cousin, and he calls her a heinous excuse of a cousin.