Chapter 7

Stevie rubbed sweat off her forehead and swore. She sighed and desperately looked at her smoking car. After hours of trying to fix it, she had only made a bigger mess of it, a little weird because cars were usually no trouble for her. She sighed and swore again, and then sank down in the mud and cried. Stevie didn't use to be a tearful person, but the past weeks she had cried so often she didn't recognize herself as the person she was before, the person that just refused to break down.

She had left in her car at 11 pm, just to get away from everybody asking her what was wrong with her, telling her they could be trusted, that she was acting weird, that she shouldn't keep it inside of her, and so on. Just to try to escape from her feelings she didn't want to have. But which she did have, and for a long time already.

Something inside of her told her spending so much time with Alex would only make things worse. He was her mate, and she couldn't fall in love with him. But she did.

Suddenly she missed Claire more than ever. The way she'd have comforted her, how she'd have made a joke of it, how she'd have made her laugh. How she'd have made everything look brighter, just by being her friend.

But she wasn't there. So Stevie cried. And the harder she tried to make a joke of it, the worse the pain became. She tried to tell herself it was gonna be alright, but it didn't work because that was something Claire would do.

As Claire disappeared at the end of the road, Alex felt a burden off his shoulders. Though he could still feel the pain of never seeing her again, a picture painted itself on his mind. A picture of a total mess. A picture of a drunk total mess, and a desperate Tess trying to talk some sense into him.

'Geez, Alex, what are you doing to yourself?'

'I'm trying to keep on living.'

'Oh, come on, you'll lose your mind!'

'Already have.'

'I see! Is this what you call life, Alex? Drinking too much, driving careless, joining rodeo's.. you'll kill yourself one day. And what will I tell Charlotte then?'

He'd fallen silent. Charlotte. But if he died now, would she remember him when she was older?

'Goodness, Alex, I can't believe this. What do you think Claire would say if she saw you like this?'

He swallowed hard, because he knew what she would say. But he wouldn't admit it, because he didn't want to think about that.

'She won't.'

Tess sighed desperately. 'But… why can't you be just… just Alex, like you used to be?'

'Because life is not what it used to be.'

'Listen Alex, I know how you must be feeling, don't you think I miss her? Don't you think I've cried myself to sleep every night the first weeks? Don't you think I broke down at the funeral, don't you think I've blamed myself? But life goes on and sometimes… sometimes life deserves a second chance!'

He slowly shook his head.

'Oh please, Alex, come back!' she called after him as he started to walk away. 'I miss you! I miss my friend!'

Alex shook his head and sighed. Tess. She'd been right. After Claire died, he'd never been the same person anymore. He'd done the most silly things just to die. Just because he hoped to see Claire again, if he died. But deep inside he didn't want to die, but he hadn't realised that then.

After he'd been driving around for what seemed to be hours, he sighed and wondered if it'd be better if he went to Drover's to ask Tess if Stevie had been found. He decided to do that when a car beside the road caught his attention. Stevie's car. What is she doing this far from Drover's at 4 am? he wondered as he stopped the car. He found Stevie at the other side, covered in mud and soaking wet, crying in the pouring rain.

'Steves,' he called as he ran towards her. 'Steves, what are you doing here at this hour, mate?'

She hadn't heard or seen him coming and gasped when she saw him running towards her. He put his hand on her shoulder to make her face him. He was frightened by the look in her eyes.

'Alex, don't you sneak up on me like that!'

'Hey, I'm sorry, mate,' he apologized.

'What are you doing here anyways?'

He fell silent for a moment. 'Well, Tess called me because you've been gone for hours. She's worried about you.' He was silent for a moment, trying to find the right words. 'And so am I.'

She looked at him for a while, smiling weakly. The rain stopped. She shivered.

He shook his head and took off his coat. 'Here you are, you'll get ill,' he said softly, putting it around her.

She hesitated a while, but then accepted it; he was probably right. And, he was dry. She was soaking. She tried to stop a shiver when she felt the warmth. Suddenly it was like he was all around her.

'Well, and now you tell me what's wrong,' he said friendly.

'Nah, I was just… driving a bit and then this stupid piece of trunk…' She furiously slammed her hand to the steel, unable to finish her sentence because she couldn't help but burst out into tears again. She tried to fight it but failed. She didn't want to break down in his presence.

He put an arm around her and she sobbed, leaning her head to his shoulder.

'Ssshh, it's alright, it's alright,' he tried to calm her down a bit, slowly caressing her wet curls.

'Oh, I'm sorry,' she said sniffing. 'It just all feels a little weird, and it all goes wrong and… it's not like I want it to be and it hurts and…'

'I know,' he answered. 'It's alright.'

'You must think I'm crazy,' she said miserably.

'No I don't,' he said reassuring. 'I really don't.'

She slowly pulled away from him a bit to look him in his eyes and sighed.

'Alex…' she started. 'Thank you.'

He smiled at her. 'No worries.'

They were silent for a moment. Alex tried to think of something to say, but couldn't find the words. It was a little strange, but being here with her, wet and muddy at 4 pm, felt right. It felt more right than it should feel. And suddenly something changed between them. He felt it, and he knew Stevie felt it too. And he thought of Tess. Sometimes life deserves a second chance.

He stretched out his hand, brushing away one of her wet curls. She moved closer to him for what seemed to last for ages and he didn't know why he did it, but he did. He kissed her. Oh my god, I kissed her.

The first second Stevie didn't know what to do. Oh my god, he kissed me.

'Oh, geez, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…'

She smiled. 'Ssshh, it's alright,' she interrupted, smiling when she realised she said exactly the same as he'd been saying all the time.

And he smiled back and they kissed again. And they both knew it was alright.

They kept sitting there until the light of the early morning broke through the clouds, and Alex thought of Claire, and what she'd have said, and suddenly he thought of a sentence from a lyric.

All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free.