Warning: Demyx/Luxord. That means crack, shonen-ai/yaoi, and crack. Did I mention it's crack?

Disclaimer: Psh, If I owned Kingdom Hearts, who do you think would be not dead? And why do you suppose I bother to write craky fanfics about it? Not mine. (don't sue me?)

Demyx. Number nine. Melodious Nocturne.

Idiot.

"Demyx... we've been over this. When you have a good hand... you don't ANNOUNCE it.", Luxord growled irritably

"Oh, but then you won't know about it. And all those lovely cards go to waste!", Demyx sighed, frowning

"Well maybe if you didn't FOLD EVERY TIME.", Luxord dropped his cards to the table and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"But if I don't fold than you win!", Demyx pouted, dropping his cards as well.

Luxord felt his already thinning patience snapping.

"Do you not grasp the concept of GAMBLING?", Luxord roared, arms waving in exasperation.

"Money?", Demyx squeaked

Luxord dropped his head into his hands.

"Demyx...", Luxord sighed

"Yes?", Demyx asked sheepishly

"You're an idiot."

"I know."

"..."

"..."

"Another round?"

"Certainly."

(5 minutes later)

"I fold.", Demyx announced, placing his cards face down on the table.

"Demyx, we JUST went over this... 5 minutes ago.", Luxord complained

"Well I'm sorry, I just don't see the point of putting my stuff at stake just to feel an adrenalin rush.", Demyx scowled

"Why do I associate with you?", Luxord asked, looking to the ceiling for an answer

"Because I'm the only one who still plays cards with you?", Demyx supplied happily

Luxord frowned. "You have a point.", Luxord sighed

Demyx sighed, and they sat in silence for a while.

"You know... gambling would be a lot more fun if it involved water.", Demyx said, picking up a card and examining it.

"Don't even think bout getting my cards wet. I will MURDER you.", Luxord grabbed the card from Demyx's grip.

"Sheesh. Touchy.", Demyx laughed

"Well what would you do if I set your sitar on fire?", Luxord asked seriously

"Don't even JOKE like that, Axel did that once. It took me MONTHS to make a new one.", Demyx shuddered at the memory.

"Bah. Why bother? Why not just change weaopans?"

"Would YOU give up gambling?"

"Well... no. Then what would I do to entertain myself?"

"Have you ever considered joining a band?", Demyx asked hopefully

"No way in hell.", Luxord said cheerily

Demyx pouted.

"Then again... I could have a very nice set of drums.", Luxord considered

Demyx perked up. "Yes, yes you could! We could convince someone else to sing and... oh...right."

Demyx sighed again and flopped his head on the table

Luxord looked concerned.

(10 minutes later)

"Don't beat yourself up. I'm sure they're alright."

"That's a pretty big gamble."

Luxord drummed his fingers on the table, resting his head in his other hand.

"I suppose."

"What happens if Sora is too strong for them?"

"Then I get to spend my time teaching you to gamble properly."

"Ha, you'd get sick of me eventually."

"Hm, maybe not."

"Really now?", Demyx lifted his head up and leaned forward a bit., "And how much would you bet?"

"Oh, it's too easy of a bet. I wouldn't sucker someone into it, too low. You're nice to look at."

Demyx flushed

"You have gambling potential..."

The flush deepened

"Not to mention you'd look absolutely fabulous in a showgirl outfit."

The flush reached a very dark shade

"P-perv!", Demyx squealed girlishly

Luxord smiled

(30 minutes later)

Demyx shoved the cards off the table viciously.

"God damn it! You've GOT to be kidding me.", Demyx yelled indignantly

"Hey, a bet's a bet.", Luxord laughed

"You've got to be cheating somehow.", Demyx pouted

"Hm, sorry, no."

Demyx grumbled something about 'perverts' and 'damn cards', and stalked off.

Luxord grinned "Don't forget the glitter!"

(15 minutes later)

Demyx stalked back in, wearing a full on showgirl outfit, feathers and all.

He had glittery foundation on his face, which complemented his blush nicely.

"Well it looks like I was right. You look absolutely fabulous.", Luxord smirked

"Yeah yeah. Whatever. Damn cheating perv.", Demyx growled, sitting down again

"What, you're still going to play?"

"I have to earn back my dignity dammit!"

Luxord's smirk looked just a touch more sinister.

"Let's up the stakes shall we?"

(40 minutes later)

"And so I find the guy, courting my god damn milk. It's MY BLOODY MILK!", Xemnas complained, closing his eyes and pushing open the door to the kitchen

"Oh but you were there and-", Xemnas was cut off by the THUD of Saix's body hitting the ground.

"Saix? Way are you sleeping on the jo- ooooo-oo. Ohmygod."

He slammed the door.

(in the kitchen)

"Well, that was interesting.", Luxord laughed

Demyx, bright red, turned to the door and stared at it.

"The superior... just walked in on us... having...", Demyx started

Luxord laughed, kissing Demyx quickly.

"Well it makes excellent revenge for him being a milk hog."

"What?", Demyx asked, suddenly very confused

"Erm.. never mind. So, where were we?

END

Dear lord, I just... my god, I couldn't stop. Once I started it was like BAM, explosion on the keyboard.

And now I've updated a fic.

Well... hoooly crap.

Yeah... reading over it, it's kinda skippy and random.

Well obviously the pairing is crack, but still, that was... crackgasmic.

Hope you enjoyed the references to the milk chapter. R&R.

Avocados are evil