Surreal, that's all I can think. She's splayed out across my chest and her legs are intertwined with mine. And she's soft and warm, oh so fricking warm. After last night and this morning she's gotta look into getting on the pill. Last night also means that I for damn sure won't be getting her a vibrator for her birthday. No bunny foo foo hoppin through Jude's forest. I had sex last night. But I didn't fuck her. I'm not a pussy so I'm not gunna call it love making or some shit like that, but it was much more than your average screw.

Honestly it wasn't too bad, not great, but I know its gunna get better and better cause well next time I won't be tearing away her virginity. Oh father condone me for I have sinned. So I, Tom Quincy, have a girl friend. And her name is Jude Harrison. The media's gunna have a fucking field day. Darius is gunna exploit this for all it's worth. I can already see it, a music video for Portions For Foxes and I can be the bad news. Although it'd be awesome to do the verbal castration song, cause afterwards we can have hot make up sex.

I could be real romantic and go make her breakfast or something, but this is Jude's apartment we're talking about. If she had any actual food I'd be in shock, probably have to take me away in an ambulance. And well it's me, why the fuck would I make her breakfast. I gotta hold out on that romantic shit for when I'm really in need of brownie points or sex. In reality though, aren't all brownie points now gunna add up to sex? Hhmmm I don't know, maybe I'll ask Liam later what he and Sadie, never mind bad images already rolling around in my head.

Ok there is no greater pride a guy can have than when he completely screws a girl into a sex coma, which I did last night. Though honestly it wasn't too hard considering taking her virginity kinda wore her out quickly. But the then subsequent problem that most guys don't think about is that you're not gunna slip into a sex coma. We're all like the energizer bunny. We don't think like hey I had sex now so that means I can hold out till such and such day. We're like fuck that was good, I want more. Feed the mother fucking beast. Now, now, now! Bang, bang, bang!

So here in lies my dilemma Jude's asleep and I want a repeat. Whoops? Is it wrong to ask a girl who lost her virginity the night before to have sex with you again the morning after? Oh I don't know if I can or not. This is too much thinking for me. I only really think about sexual performance, women's bodies, music and that's about it. Anything else that needs concentration like that's too much, hence why I keep Kwest around. Maybe she'll just miraculously wake up and straddle me and because she knows me so freaking well she'll just know its time to play. That'd be the first sign that I've turned her into a sex fiend. Point for the slut!

That's right my scorecard, I forgot about that. Should I deduct points from virgin considering she lost her virginity or should I simply add points to the slut side. God damn I can't even remember who's wining or what the actual score was. The things that you forget when you're in bed with the hot girl of your dreams and fantasies. Holy shit she's the girl of my dreams. And she's blonde and looks so innocent and is like my own personal little minx. I can take her home to mom and buy her stripper aerobics.

She's like a hello kitty vibrator. To the unknowing eye she seems cute, sweet, real innocent. She's something that mom can see and adore. But once you flip that switch (aka I kink her out, my own version of pimping your ride. Thank you very much MTV wishes it could have it as their new show. Playboy, however, could have it as their new hot programming. Get it hot?) she goes fucking crazy. I mean seriously her future is now gunna be packed full of flavored condoms, handcuffs, gels and a hell of a lot of fun. She's gunna become the most relaxed female artist out there. And I'm gunna be one happy guy.

She starts to stir next to me. Her eye lids flutter open with her face clear and glowing. There are some noises coming out of her that I don't know where they're coming from, but they're cute. I pull her closer to me as she smiles all lopsided and ridiculously adorable, "Morning." I feel so light as I smile down at her, "Morning." It doesn't matter whether she's a slut or a virgin, all that matters is that she's mine. I'm Tom Quincy and I just want Jude Harrison, all day, every day, perferably naked and lubed.