A/N: This installment skips a year, to Integra's wedding day. I'll stop skipping around after this, I just needed to get things to a point where I was inspired again. I was thinking, and There are going to be TWO sequels to this. The first sequel will be a series of short stories describing the child's years growing to a certain age, and then the ACTUAL sequel begins with Integra's death. I will be writing both sequels at the same time, to my dismay/excitment. I just can't wait.
So, I'm bumping this one into high-gear. Tell me if I'm going to fast, or If I need to go back and redo the chapters that SHOULD be inbetween chapters 11 and 12. Thanks : )
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing.
She cried the entire time. I told the staff fitting my dress Seras was crying with happiness, but I doubt they believed me. Even I could tell, just from the sound, that her tears were bitter. I stood on a stool, arms outstretched, as they made minute adjustments and clucked over my eyes.
I imagined Seras' face, and had to set my own in stone. The poor thing. She would come to see that this was best. It was all for the best. I had to believe that, or I wouldn't be able to walk down the isle.
It was a few hours until sunrise. I had scheduled the ceremony to give me time to say good morning too my two lovers, and then proceed to the wedding. They would not be present. I didn't trust them not to interfere. Well, I didn't trust Alucard. Seras would just be too emotional, and dash it all to pieces, our careful masquerade.
Speaking of, they wanted me to wear a mask, a scratchy, lacy affair. I refused. I would go to my groom as I was. Nothing hidden, nothing softened. He would learn to accept me, and the introductory lesson would be our wedding day. They murmured under their breaths, but they were forced to agree. None of them (except maybe the assistant head seamstress) had the will or authority to take it to the Queen.
Besides, I had made it very clear that whoever did would no longer be in the Knight's service.
Funny thing was, to this day, I have no idea what my dress looked like. I knew the sleeves were long to cover the many scars on my arms, and I also knew they were itchy, suggesting lace. I remember that it was form fitting on top, and hard to move in that regard. The bottom was loose and made me feel naked, like dresses generally do.
Naked. I flinched as I realized in several short hours, I would be, and with a man I barely knew. God help me.
Lord Frederick Jovel. My husband-to-be. My new partner. Yes, a partnership. That's all it would be to me. That would be what he would get from this. A loyal partner. Not a lover, not a wife, not a soulmate. A business partner. This union was entirely for show, a bonding in which he would receive power, and I an heir. Nothing more. Nothing less. I would fulfill my duty as his equal. Assuming he would treat me as such; I expected no less.
The search had gone well; a match to my specifications was found within weeks of my assent. The Queen's people had done their job well. Millitary, a Lord, Intelligent, mentally flexible, business-like.
He was young, however, younger than me. Barely twenty-one. I felt old, my thirty-three years weighing heavily on my mind. It felt like an eternity away. He had served in the military. He had seen death, had seen destruction. Still, he was just a babe. He had never witnessed the slaughter of innocent's with a monster's bare hands, had never shot an infant to end its newfound unlife.
He had stared into the abyss, but never had it stare back and laugh.
I would have to show him. I would have to guide him to that point of no return and watch him cross it. I would have to destroy him to make him the man I needed him to be. He would either pass the test or fail.
I grimaced. I sounded like Alucard in my own mind. Is that what he did to me? Break me to make me the woman of his dreams? The woman he needed? It didn't bother me. I am who I am. No point in griping. I am stronger because of him. Perhaps that was his own way of expressing his love.
The seamstresses left, closing the heavy door behind them. Just me, and my Seras. Just us, alone and cold…
She nearly knocked me off the stool with the force of her sudden embrace. I searched with my satin-clad hands until I found her face, and wiped the tears streaming from it with my gloved fingertips. "You're going to get blood all over the white," she sniffed. I laughed, full-throated and long.
"Everything else I own is blood-stained, why not my wedding dress?"
She giggled half-heartedly and released me. "I hope… I hope it goes well. I'm sorry I can't be there."
"As am I. I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do." It was a blatant lie, but she accepted it. A lie was all she had left to hold on to. All she had left. All I could give.
I felt unclean.
Impure.
Worthless.
"I have to go. Master will want to see you too."
"Yes, he will. Thank-you Seras."
"Good luck."
The door slammed shut behind her, and for a few precious moments, I was alone.
My final moments of peace. Soon there would be another presence, invading all of my privacy. Another person in my bathroom, another body in my bed. No more nighttime visits from my monsters. Nothing.
I sighed, and electricity crackled down my spine.
He's here. I waited for him to make himself known. The silence pressed in on me, until I realized it. Realized what he was doing.
He was asking. Asking if he could take me away from this, save me from my fate, save me from death itself. It was unspoken. This was my last chance; he would not ask again after I left him. He would not beg. I would not agree.
Silence.
I lifted my hand, and he took it in a gentle hold. We stayed there for a moment, and then soft, cold lips brushed against my knuckles. That simple touch held volumes.
He would still respect me, even after such a decision.
Then, slowly, the tension in my spine vanished, and I felt the fingers begin to fade. I clamped my fist shut on the last bit of his hand, and then it was gone, like smoke in the night.
The door creaked open. "It's time, Lady Hellsing."
And so, with Seras' tears upon my hands and Alucard's kiss upon my lips, I went to join my groom.