Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews, they were all very appreciated… Enjoy this one!

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Chapter 20:

How did she find out? Lily asked herself for the umpteenth time.

She racked her brains ferociously, absolutely convinced that there had to be something she missed, something that explained how Ashley Queenen knew about two relationships that were completely secret.

She was braced casually against a wall adjacent to the Transfiguration classroom, her arms clutching her books to her chest, her bag slung over her shoulder.

She stood alone, for Natalie still hadn't shown up, Dorcas had been unsubtly avoiding her since she disclosed such confidential information, and James wasn't allowed to be seen with her.

Lily didn't really notice her solitude; she was used to it. But this indifference wasn't due to her familiarity with such isolation. It was due to the fact that Lily was staring avidly at a platinum blonde head chatting with her friends across the corridor.

How did she find out? Lily asked herself again.

She let out an indiscernible sigh, before arranging her features rigidly as she fiddled with her bookbag. It was digging into her shoulder uncomfortably and snagging her jumper.

Ashley let out a deliberate screech which Lily assumed was supposed to be a laugh, and swung her hair over her shoulder, not noticing the thin strands getting caught in her long earrings. She then turned to her brunette friend, who Lily thought was named Rebecca, and whispered something in her ear. They both giggled and as she pulled away, those ridiculous earrings got caught in her friend's hair.

Lily contained a scathing laugh as she watched Ashley, hoping that maybe she would give something away.

How in the bloody hell did she find out?

Natalie had been the only living soul that had known about Caradoc, and only because Lily had told her. Sirius, Remus, and Peter had been the only living souls that had known about Dorcas, because James had told him.

But what if Caradoc had told some of his friends? And what if Dorcas told some of hers? she asked herself hesitantly. Maybe she got her information from them.

How would she find out though? She could probably get it out of Dorcas with little suspicion, but Caradoc wasn't speaking to her.

That could be a job for James, she reasoned, her excitement starting to mount.

But just as the idea was starting to gallop away with her, a new voice entered her head, one that sounded a lot like James.

What if she was wrong? What if James had been right, that she was just fishing for answers, attempting to fit puzzle pieces in empty slots, simply because she needed a scapegoat, because she needed her break- up to be someone else's fault?

What if Caradoc found out? What if he found out that she hadn't let this go yet, that she was still determined to push the blame away from herself?

He would hate you even more, she realized.

She hesitated then. Was this worth investigating? Was it worth the risk?

Yes, she decided. He is.

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Lily hurried out of class, determined to follow Ashley Queenen. Natalie still hadn't shown up to Transfiguration, and Dorcas had only bleated a feeble hello before taking a seat next to Emmeline Vance. It didn't really matter; if Lily had been her normal calculating self, she probably would have at least shot her some reassuring glances, but Ashley Queenen was the only one dominating her thoughts.

She looked right and then left, quickly, hoping for a glimpse of that platinum blonde head. She almost gave up hope, but then that bright mane bobbed into view and Lily took off after it, weaving in between students.

She was so intent on her course that she almost didn't hear the sneer from somewhere in front of her.

"Evans."

Lily only had time to stop abruptly before Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Augustus Rookwood, Rodulphus Lestrange, and Bellatrix Black fell into a semi- circle in front of her.

Lily sighed as she subtly moved her wand into a more reachable area. This was not what she needed at the moment.

She tried to glance over their shoulders as they glared at her, hoping for a glance of that blonde hair. She rocked back from her tiptoes as she noticed that they were drawing a crowd, similar to the one that Sirius and Natalie received detention for. She warily brought herself back to reality, ready to defend herself if the need arose.

"Forgive me for not addressing all of you, but seeing as you five rarely move individually, it would take quite a while," Lily drawled tonelessly, earning an appreciative nod from many who had gathered to watch.

Bellatix laughed scathingly, the noise not unlike nails on a chalkboard.

"I had forgotten how positively witty this one was," she shrieked with a false smile enveloping her sarcastic features. "Makes you wonder why her boyfriend dumped her."

All of them laughed along with her as she took a step forward, coming level with Lucius, who was leading the pack.

"But not quite," she finished, scorn lacing every word.

"How coincidental," Lily replied coldly, "I was going to say the same thing. Except I'm wondering why yours hasn't dumped you."

Bellatrix's menacing features contorted for just a moment as the crowd "oooo"ed. Lucius pulled her back bodily, apparently realizing the danger she posed when angered.

"You forget your place, Evans," he spat out scornfully, attempting to pass Bellatrix to her boyfriend.

"Yeah that's lovely, thanks," Lily answered vaguely, catching sight of Ashley's blonde hair up ahead. "If that's all…" she started to move past them, not wanting to lose her quarry.

All five of them moved to cut her off again, but Bellatrix Black took another step forward, finally freeing herself from Malfoy's grip.

"You dare mock the Dark Lord's work? You dare trifle…"

But Lily wasn't listening much anymore. She had just glimpsed that blonde head over Bellatrix's shoulder again, but she was in such a frenzy describing her master that Lily had a hard time keeping her eyes trained on it.

Clearly, Lily's complete indifference to whatever Bellatrix was going on about was incensing her. Just as Lily rose to her tiptoes again to keep an eye on her quarry, still peering over all five of them, Bellatrix's voice rose to a shrill scream.

Lily sighed as she cursed the reason why all the teachers were curiously ignoring this particular corridor at the moment as she realized that Ashley was going to get away if she didn't put an end to this right now.

She brought her hands up to her ears mockingly, only pausing to pretend to wipe a speck of imaginary spit off her cheek. It wasn't so hard to believe; Bellatrix was now screaming with all her might, leaning forward and looking crazed, determined to make Lily pay attention to her.

The crowd had just laughed at another one of Lily's antics, bringing a hand up to cover a fake yawn, before Bellatrix had had enough.

"… and I will be rewarded like no other, whilst you will be nothing but a mudblood!"

She had said the magic word. The entire crowd was silenced, some with the mouths slack, some with their last laugh frozen on their faces, all waiting for Lily to burst into tears and run.

Bellatrix glared triumphantly at Lily, knowing what she had said, ignoring the looks of her friends behind her, unaware that even they were a little uncomfortable with that word.

"Are you done now?" Lily asked, for the first time allowing a slightly bored look to become uncovered.

Bellatrix opened her mouth, most likely to start another a tirade in her disappointment that she had not been victorious in insulting Lily, but Lily had had enough.

"Good," she interrupted, giving her bag an impatient heave. "Then I leave you five to your very impressive name calling," (she gave a significant look to Bellatrix as a hesitant giggle rippled through the crowd), "in hope that next time you guys try to pick a fight, you have a little something prepared."

She pulled an imaginary speck of dust off her robe, rose on her tiptoes to glance over their shoulders again, hoping to see Ashley's blonde hair.

She strode toward them, only stopping once when she was level with them, prepared to walk right between them.

"Oh, and Lucius," she trilled, turning to pull an imaginary speck of dust off his shoulder, "your little friend," she nodded toward Bellatrix, who was now positively fuming, "needs an outlet to blow off some steam, I'm afraid. Next time, try to head her off quickly, or else she'll just rant for hours, am I right?"

The crowd laughed again, all amused by the fury now tracing every line in all five of their faces.

Then several things happened at once. Just as Lily had begun to walk away from them all, Bellatrix let out a scream of outrage, pulling away from her boyfriend, who was trying to hold her back. All five drew their wands at once, just as Lily spun around to face them, thinking that something like this might happen with her back turned.

With a loud bang, and the students encircling them silenced, the dust cleared. And what was left caused the crowd to, once again, roar with laughter.

All five of them, right in a row, were hanging upside down, as if an invisible hook were holding them in place. Lily stood in front of them, surveying them all, watching as they all tried to piece together why they were upside down.

She glanced down on the floor beneath the five students, and counted four wands. She groaned to herself silently as she met Bellatrix Black's hungry black eyes, now righted and standing on the ground, her wand lifted menacingly in front of her.

"Try it, I dare you," Lily said monotonously.

With a shriek of anger, she raised her wand at the same time Lily did, and was, promptly, placed in a full body bind, only her eyes left free to contort with the utmost hatred.

"Well, if that's all…" Lily began. The four that were still controlled by her Levicorpus spell, erupted in yells of indignance and fury.

Lily waved her once more and they all fell silent.

"Thought so," she said with a small hint of cheer, and turned and walked away in the wake of the cheering that followed her.

As she walked away with her head held high, her face expressionless and serene, her ears caught something that made her want to do a victory dance. Whispers of it trailed her like an echo, resounding happily in her ears many times over.

"She's back."

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Lily stared moodily over the many heads in the Great Hall, her mood a swift and sudden change to the hour before.

Ashley Queenen was nowhere to be found.

Goddamn witch, Lily grumbled to herself as she picked her way through the crowd of people.

She had searched the entire castle through and through, looking for that cursed blonde hair, but couldn't prevail. It was as if she disappeared into thin air.

"So much for spying," Lily muttered to herself gloomily as she sunk into a seat at the Gryffindor table.

"Who are you spying on?"

Lily turned in her seat and smiled half- heartedly, and motioned Dorcas to sit down.

"I see your talking to me again," she said pointedly, but with a trace of amusement. She understood, of course, why Dorcas had felt a awkwardness around her; Lily felt the same way when she told Dorcas about her relationship with Caradoc. It would just take time for it to sink in.

Dorcas had the decency to look a little ashamed. "I'm sorry, Lily," she said sheepishly. "I haven't spoken about it to anyone for awhile now."

Lily nodded reassuringly. "I'm just happy I could repay the favor," Lily answered warmly.

Dorcas nodded again, this time lightening up. "It feels good, you know," she said with a small trace of embarrassment. "To get it off my shoulders. I still feel, even though it's over, that I have to carry around this huge secret."

Lily agreed understandingly. "Trust me, I know. That's why I told you in the first place."

Not completely true, Lily admitted to herself. But a necessary precaution to make.

Dorcas brightened considerably, probably at the idea that she and Lily were in the same boat.

They chatted aimlessly over lunch about random bits and pieces of their lives, catching up for the first time in a long time.

Toward the end, a thought hit Lily. She had been started to feel a little sense of shame, that here she was having a good time with James' ex, when she should be trying to get the two back together.

"What changed your mind about James?" Lily asked suddenly, attempting to steer the conversation back to more interesting waters.

Not exactly subtle, Lily's reasonable side pointed out, But it'll do.

Dorcas looked a little taken aback at the sudden change of topic, but was able to regain her poise.

"What do you mean?" she asked a little softly, as if wary now that James was the topic of discussion.

Lily hesitated, needing to be sure that she didn't let anything slip that Dorcas hadn't already told her. If she said something true about what had happened, and Dorcas knew that Lily hadn't heard it from her, she would immediately assume the worst, which happened to be true.

"Well I just got the vibe that you felt more then a little betrayed when you two broke up. I'm assuming that it took awhile to trust him."

Dorcas' suspicious look softened considerably, but didn't let up completely.

"That is true," Dorcas admitted as she played absently with her napkin. "It took him a long time to win me over."

When she said this, a small smile began to play over her lips, as if deciding whether to dare to reminisce or not.

Lily almost smiled at her. She reminded her so much of herself.

"What made you give him a chance?" she asked curiously.

Dorcas hesitated for a moment, trying to rearrange her thoughts in her head before she spoke.

"Well," she begun slowly, trying to work out what she was trying to say as she said it, "I was at a point where the only reason I wasn't dating him, wasn't because I didn't like him."

Lily nodded as she paused again.

"It was like," she said softly, "I was so set on hating him, that there was no way that I could ever see that there was nothing to hate. I was so determined to not be blind, just like all those other bimbos he used to date."

"I understand," Lily replied just as softly.

"And then I realized that I had become like all those other bimbos, just as blind. But in a different way, you see."

Lily waited again as she paused.

"They were blind to his faults; they worshipped him just because of his looks and achievements. But I was blind to his good qualities."

"It scared the shit out of me, Lily," she explained earnestly. "That I was just like the rest of them, doing something just for the sake of doing it, rejecting him just so I could say he never got to me."

Lily smiled. "You figured it all out on your own?"

Dorcas grinned back and shrugged. "I may have had a little help, but once it came to my attention, I went out with him."

Lily grinned back when she saw her friend smile with the memory of old memories.

"And?"

"It was perfect."

Lily laughed at her friend's antics, as she stared blissfully into space. But after a couple seconds, she returned with a resounding bump.

"But that's all over now."

Lily's amusement started to retract back into her features; she was a little startled by the change of tone.

Suddenly, Dorcas turned to her. "But you know him just as well as I do, right? I don't have to tell you how he's like."

Lily paused for a millisecond, not contemplating that she would have to flat out lie about her and James' friendship. She was, after all, on his side, but Dorcas was her friend too and she cared for her.

"How do you mean?" she settled with.

Dorcas rolled her eyes accordingly. "You know," she responded carelessly, taking a sip from her goblet. "The partying, the pranking, all the mischief, and his bum friends. You're heads with him, right? You have got to have gotten a taste of it by now."

Lily didn't try and conceal her confusion. Were they talking about the same James?

"What are you talking about?" she asked truthfully.

Dorcas chuckled a little forcefully. "Come on, Lily," Dorcas said airily, "You have got to have seen him at least a little."

"I'm not going to pretend that we're friends," Lily managed to sputter out, "But I haven't seen anything that you just mentioned."

Dorcas raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. "No alcohol? No pranking the Slytherins? No tramping through the castle after curfew?"

Dorcas' disbelief grew with every shake of the head Lily made.

"You're serious?"

Lily nodded, also a little stunned. However, she was determined to make an effort on James' behalf.

"To tell you the truth, he doesn't really talk much," Lily explained with a convincing air. "He seems pretty reserved, almost sad."

Dorcas threw back her head and cackled loudly. "There's no way we can be talking about the same James Potter," she said unconvinced. "Reserved? Ha."

Lily didn't reply, but only raised her eyebrows at Dorcas, waiting for her to realize that she wasn't joking.

Dorcas glanced at her, her amusement less defined. "You're… You're serious?"

Lily nodded. "Maybe he's changed."

Dorcas' amazement didn't diminish. "Lily, trust me, if he had changed, I'd know."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked again.

Dorcas put down her fork and arranged her napkin neatly on her lap.

"The only thing I ever wanted from him was to change," she explained. "I mean I loved that playful, childish side to him. But I loved him more when he was serious, and mature, and sophisticated."

A little silence followed Dorcas' announcement, as if Dorcas wanted to take it back, and Lily wanted to hear it said again.

"Kinda like you, Lily."

Lily's eyebrows shot up in the air. She wanted James to be more like Lily?

Lily laughed a little. "You can't possibly mean you want James to be more like me?" she asked jokingly, playing with her food.

Dorcas continued to watch her closely. "Of course I mean it."

Lily didn't laugh this time. "You mean cold? Unnerving? Bitchy?"

Dorcas shook her head. "I mean intellectual. And grown up. And strong.

Lily kept looking at her plate, unsure what to say to these compliments. She had never thought that she had good qualities such as these. They were true to an extent, but they carried quite a bit of baggage. Sure she was smart, but no one ever asked her help because they were scared of her. Sure she was mature and grown up, but at the cost of having fun and being playful. Sure she was strong, but that also made her defensive, even of her friends.

"It's not like I'm only those things, Dorcas," she said finally. "Being how I am has a terrible price."

Dorcas didn't say anything in reply, just waited for her to elaborate.

Lily sighed. "I've never got to experience the way James is, or was," she corrected quickly.

"And James has never experienced the way you are."

Lily sighed, deciding to let it go. She had got what she wanted; a way for Dorcas to take James back.

But just as she was going to pry some more information out of her, another thought hit Lily out of nowhere.

"Dorcas, you said that you had a little help getting together with James."

Dorcas looked, again, a little surprised at the change of topic but nodded swiftly.

"So this person must have known you two were together."

Dorcas made a face, and immediately looked extremely embarrassed.

"I"ll say," she muttered.

"Who was it?" Lily asked excitedly, although already dreading the answer.

"Rebecca Robinson."

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Lily was walking back to the Heads Dorm after lunch for her off period, going over her conversation with Dorcas in her head.

How could Dorcas not put two and two together? Lily asked herself doubtfully.

True, Lily didn't share her theory about Ashley to Dorcas, and Dorcas didn't make the connection between the two couples, but it was hard to believe that Dorcas could be shocked that the girl that James was cheating with might have been perfectly aware that he had a girlfriend.

How could she not realize that Rebecca simply blabbed to her best friend? Lily asked herself, a little disappointed in Dorcas' trusting demeanor.

Maybe that's the difference between you two, her smart side pointed out. She trusts people, and you don't.

Lily pointedly ignored that argument. She didn't see herself as untrusting; she trusted a lot of people. But that didn't mean she couldn't be careful, always on her guard in case she should accidentally get hurt.

That's the better way to be, she told herself convincingly.

She was just about to turn the corner to the last corridor before the Heads Dorm when she heard a familiar voice.

"… and you don't regret breaking up with her at all?" a voice came from around the corner, that sounded remarkably like James.

She pressed her body as flat as it would go against the wall, straining her ears just in case he was talking to Caradoc.

Her heart leapt at the sound of his deep voice, the one she fell in love with.

"Of course I regret it, James," Caradoc said, sounding almost a little irritated at such a question. "But it had to be done. She accused me of cheating on her!"

Lily's heart had leapt again when she heard his first words, but sank when he finished the last of them. She heard James sigh.

"That's rough," James answered, "But maybe you were a little harsh, you know?"

Lily immediately began to panic a little.

Don't overdo it, James, she warned him silently. He's smart enough to be able to sense that you're prying.

James seemed to hear her thoughts. "I'm just saying that if you're this miserable without her, maybe you should just talk to her, for your own sake. Hear her out."

Caradoc didn't immediately answer, and Lily could almost see his suspicious look falter a little.

"I don't know, mate," he finally answered. "Of course I miss her, I was in love with her for Merlin's sake. But I don't think it would work."

Lily groaned silently, trying to will herself not to tear up.

James seemed to groan too. "What are you talking about?"

Caradoc hesitated again before answering, causing Lily to draw in her breath and hold it until he spoke again.

"It just seemed that the entire time I was with her, I was trying to change her, trying to get her to lighten up, to put her reputation aside, to just have a good time. I didn't have any effect on her at all."

You stupid bastard, Lily whimpered to herself miserably. You're the reason I am this way!

James was evidently, confused. "What do you mean, mate? I thought you loved her anyway?"

"I did, I did," Caradoc corrected earnestly. "I just wanted her to be, I don't know…"

He paused and Lily held her breath again, flat against the wall.

"More like you, I guess."

Lily's heart dropped and her ears started to roar. You've got to be kidding!

Apparently James was thinking along the same lines. "You've got to be kidding!"

Caradoc laughed a little, and then sombered up.

"I'm serious, mate," he assured James, "she was like that in the beginning, but she slowly went into lockdown mode. The whole accusing thing wasn't the only reason I broke it off."

"Let me get this straight," James said disbelievingly. "The entire time you were with Lily, you wanted to her change into a feminine version of me, childish, immature, and stupid?"

Caradoc laughed. "Well when you say it like that…"

"I'm not kidding, Caradoc," James said seriously. "How could you want her change, let alone into me!"

"You're heads with her, mate," Caradoc said, a little annoyed. "You've got to see how she is!"

"Well, I'm not exactly buddy buddy with her," James said a little quickly, as Lily recognized the lie, "but I've noticed other sides to her."

"Like what," Caradoc challenged.

"Like when she's excited, her eyes…"

"Glow," Caradoc finished gloomily.

"Exactly!" James exclaimed.

Lily didn't know what to think. The entire time they were together, Caradoc had tried to change her, not realizing that the only reason she changed in the first place was for him.

"It doesn't matter, James," Caradoc said into the silence following such a proclamation. "It wasn't worth getting my heart broken, I should have just listened to my damn cousin."

Lily's ears perked up immediately. Cousin? What cousin?"

"Cousin? What cousin?" James asked. Lily dutifully ignored such a coincidence at Caradoc's next words.

"Her name is Rebecca, she's in Ravenclaw. She told me that Lily wasn't worth it."

"So someone knew about you guys?" James managed to sputter out. Lily fully appreciated what James had to be thinking.

"Yeah," Caradoc continued miserably. "Too bad it was a waste of time."

Lily didn't appreciate being a waste of time, but she couldn't really comprehend anything other than the fact that this Rebecca Robinson told Ashley about her as well.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't even hear someone come around the corner.

James immediately jumped back a half a foot, screaming "Oi!" at the same time.

Lily groaned to herself, still surprised when she heard Caradoc retrace his steps to follow James around the corner to find out what the exclamation was about.

Lily and James stared at each other for a half a second, before James whipped something out of his robes and threw it on top of her.

Lily felt extremely foolish with, what felt like James old laundered robes swamping her small body, whilst just standing there while Caradoc came around the corner.

She was about to open her mouth to apologize, to say anything, but Caradoc didn't even notice her; he just looked questioningly at James.

"What was that?" he asked curiously, scanning the corridor, looking right over Lily as if she didn't exist.

Lily was completely dumbfounded. Was he just ignoring her? Or was he completely blind?

"I just saw a rat, that's all," James lied convincingly as he hauled his bookbag over his shoulder.

"Pansy," Caradoc mocked jokingly before clapping him on the shoulder.

James laughed and shook him off playfully. "I'll see you around, Dearborn."

Caradoc waved and disappeared around the corner again. But Lily and James waiting in silence for a couple moments until they were sure he was gone.

"What are you doing here, Lily?" he hissed quietly, whilst staring at a spot over her shoulder.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she hissed right back, a little annoyed that he wasn't looking her in the eyes. "It just happened."

"Sure," James said, grinning. "You're turning more into a Marauder with each passing day."

"Kill me now," Lily said back, playing along. "Too bad Caradoc couldn't even look at me. I totally ruined everything."

James cocked his head, looking puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

Lily now thought that James was losing his marbles. "He saw me here, listening. He's got to know that we're working together."

James screwed up his eyebrows, looking more confused, before throwing back his head and laughing hysterically.

Lily waited patiently for him to stop and tell her what in the hell was so funny, seeing as their cover was blown.

"He didn't see you, Lily," James promised, wiping away tears of mirth.

"How the hell not?" she asked him with deliberate slowness.

"Look at your reflection," he commanded, still staring out into space right above her shoulder, and motioning to a small mirror adorning the wall next to which they stood.

Lily rolled her eyes but complied, turning to only see…

Nothing.

She managed to bite back a scream, but only just. She couldn't see her reflection.

It took her a couple seconds to calm herself.

"James," she asked slowly. "Where did I go?"

James laughed again and withdrew the Invisibility Cloak from her body. She let out a sigh of relief when her reflection reappeared.

"An Invisibility Cloak? Wow, James," she said shifting her hands through the material.

"Yeah, my dad gave it to me," he replied proudly, before stuffing it out of sight within the folds of his robes.

"Now," he stated, "how much did you hear?"

Lily put her hands on her hips, trying to look intimidating. "Enough."

But before he could respond, they both heard a small thud from around the corner. Without a word, James whipped out the Invisibility Cloak and threw it around Lily again before tiptoeing to the position Lily was not to long ago; peeping around the corner.

When he saw that the coast was clear, he motioned Lily to follow him and they both began walking slowly down the corridor.

Lily, freed by the confines of the Cloak, crept ever so closely to a broom cupboard, from which the sounds were coming from. James seemed to think so as well, he followed her, although not knowing where she was.

When they stood directly in front of it, Lily pulled off the Cloak and handed it back to James wordlessly, pulling her wand from inside of her robes simultaneously. James jumped a bit when her head came into view, but nodded and stowed it away safely.

Without a word, they both grasped a handle and yanked them open.

And they came face to face with a rather shocking situation; Natalie Smith, in a rather compromising position, snogging the life out of a random guy.

When finally accustomed to the new light, she looked up and smiled.

"Hey guys."

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Lily and James were crammed rather unattractively in the corner of the bathroom, talking in low voices, completely aware that Natalie was waiting impatiently for Lily in the common room of the Heads Dorm.

"Listen," Lily whispered, ignoring their close proximity. "I need to talk to both of you!"

"But Lily," James whined, trying not crowd her with his large body. "I really want to hear what Dorcas had to say! I don't know if I can wait."

Lily shook her head but understood all the same. "I need to know why Natalie disappeared for a day and a half," she said hotly, before crossing her arms. "Please just wait twenty minutes!"

James didn't reply; just looked pained.

"She's my best friend, James," Lily said softly, pouting her lips slightly.

James tried to ignore this to the best of his ability, but now was painfully reminded of their close proximity. His cheeks immediately flooded with color.

"I know, I know," he muttered, looking down rather then into her eyes. "I'll just take a shower or something."

"Genius!" Lily trilled as loudly as she could without Natalie hearing. She jumped up and gave him a quick hug, which James returned hesitantly. She then turned and bounced out of the bathroom.

"Damn hormones," James muttered to himself as he turned the tap on in the shower.

He stripped down and jumped in after closing the door fully. He decided that he just needed some action.

Of course she's gorgeous, James told himself. You're a heartbroken teenage boy; it's to be expected.

He just attributed it to the fact that it was a side effect of missing Dorcas and started the shower.

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"I find that extremely hard to believe."

Natalie had just told Lily that there was no reason at all why she had disappeared for a day and a half.

Natalie rolled her eyes and adjusted herself more comfortably on the cushions.

"Believe it," she said sharply, before putting both hands behind her head and leaning back.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "Then tell me what happened with Black."

Natalie's eyes shot open. "What makes you think something happened?" she asked with an unconvincing air of indifference.

"I didn't mean it that way," Lily corrected slowly, as an idea started to form in her mind. "I meant to ask what he said about keeping his trap shut."

Natalie relaxed considerably, closing her eyes and leaning back again.

"He won't say anything."

Lily let out a sigh of relief, although was determined not to let this go.

"Then why did you hide for a day and a half?" Lily repeated firmly.

"I just needed some me time," Natalie lied.

"What happened with Black?" Lily asked wearily. She didn't feel like interrogating her friend.

"Nothing happened, Lily," Natalie lied again.

There was a long silence, so long that Natalie cracked open an eye lid and saw Lily staring at her.

"What?" she asked defensively.

"How far did it go?" Lily asked quietly, eyes full of pity.

Natalie let out a strangled laugh.

Then she was silent.

"Too far," she finally said after awhile.

Lily stood up and moved to sit beside her friend, wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

"I just can't help it, Lily," she said softly, after a moment.

"I know," Lily crooned soothingly, rocking her friend back and forth.

They both sat there for a long moment, just holding each other, just thinking.

Suddenly, Natalie stood up, loosening the grip Lily had on her.

"It doesn't matter, Lily," Natalie said firmly, crossing her arms. "He'll never touch me again, I'll make sure of it. And I've already got a potential date for the next Hogsmead trip so I'll get over it."

Lily nodded as to make her friend feel better, but couldn't shake the feeling that Natalie was kidding herself.

From upstairs, they heard the distinct noise of the shower being turned off.

Lily turned away from her friend uneasily, not wanting to throw her unceremoniously from the dorm.

But Natalie laughed and shook her head, leaning down to give her friend a hug.

"Don't worry about it," she said reassuringly. "I was going to go anyway. I'm perfectly fine."

Lily nodded. "Thanks, Natalie. For going to talk to him for me. If it weren't for me and my stupid fear then this wouldn't have happened."

Natalie laughed again and shook her head pityingly. "I'm glad it happened," she admitted cheerfully. "Now I know."

"Now you know," Lily repeated.

Natalie smiled, gave her friend one last hug, and disappeared out of the portrait hole.

Lily leaned back, feeling worn out from the days festivities, wanting nothing more than to just fall asleep.

"Lily, have you seen my Gryffindor t-shirt?"

Lily's eyes shot open, even though she couldn't remember closing them. She rubbed them fruitlessly and stood up and turned around to address James' question.

But she couldn't even form words.

James Potter was standing in front of her, clad only in a white towel, one hand behind his head, rubbing it sheepishly, and the other clutching said towel at his hip, lest it fall down.

Lily still couldn't form words.

Saying that James Potter was built was an understatement. So was saying that he had sculpted muscles, was still dripping wet, and the towel was at its lowest point without showing James in all his glory.

Lily needed to form some words.

James was looking at her curiously. "Lily?"

Lily shook her head once, gaped with her mouth a little, gave a half nod, and managed to say, "Hmm?"

James stared at her for a second, still feeling as if he was missing something.

"The shirt? Have you seen it?"

Lily was lost in her own world again, imagining how it would feel to touch those muscles, to feel them tense under her hands.

She managed to shake her head.

"You don't know where it is?"

She opened her mouth, closed it abruptly, cocked her head to the side, but only shook her head again.

"Okay then," James said slowly, suddenly feeling very aware that he was half naked, "I'm just going to grab some clothes and I'll be right down, okay?"

He turned and began to tramp up the stairs, when Lily finally said something.

"No."

James froze before turning around with a ludicrous look on his face.

"What?!"

Lily froze, completely horrified that she had just asked James to NOT go and put some clothes on. She was utterly humiliated.

She immediately started rambling. "I didn't mean it like that," she said quickly, "Not saying that you shouldn't put clothes on because you should put clothes on. There's no reason why I wouldn't want you clothed, didn't want you clothes, DON'T want you clothes, I was just saying "no" to stop you for a second about a shirt, the one you're looking for."

James looked at her as if she were psycho, still trying to piece together was she had said. Lily was feeling more and more humiliated by the second.

"What I mean to say is," she said more slowly, willing her cheeks to stop flaming, "Try the hamper."

James was still staring at her as if she had lost her mind, but shook himself.

"Um, yeah, I'll try there," he managed to blurt out before turning and continuing his way up the stairs.

Lily couldn't move; she was completely horrified.

What in Merlin's name did I just do? She was screaming at herself.

"Omigod, Omigod, Omigod, Omigod," she kept mouthing to herself as was stuck frozen there.

Calm down, calm down, calm down, her reasonable side kept crooning in her ear. Sit down, sit down, sit down.

Slowly, Lily sunk down into an armchair, still staring at the last place James was.

It's positively normal, completely expected, her reasonable side kept telling herself. James is one hell of an attractive guy, and you are vulnerable.

I am not, her stubborn side retorted, completely disgusted at the idea of vulnerability.

It doesn't mean anything; you're in love with Caradoc. You're just missing him.

Lily slowly willed herself to pull herself out of her horrified state, just in time for James to come tramping down the stairs, completely dressed.

Lily fixed an impassive expression on her face, pleading with god that James wouldn't mention how big a fool she had just been.

"So," he said clearing his throat, "you had something to tell me about Dorcas?"

"Oh yeah," Lily murmured waiting for him to sit down. "A couple things actually."

James let his discomfort melt away as he sat himself comfortably in an armchair next to Lily's. "The good news first."

Lily hesitated. "Well," she began, "Dorcas told me what it would take for her to take you back," she said quickly, eager to make him forget what had just happened.

James' eyebrows perked up and a grin made its way onto his face.

"Well, what is it?" he asked enthusiastically.

Lily paused again, not knowing how to phrase this.

"She said, er, for you," she said quietly, "to be, um, more like, well, me."

James' eyebrows shot up into his hair. He didn't reply for a long moment.

"She didn't like the way I was?" James asked, a little sullenly.

Lily shook her head hurriedly. "No, that's not it at all," she reassured him. "It's like what Caradoc said. She loves both sides of you; she just, after what happened last year, would appreciated the more "Lily" side of you, more."

James nodded slowly, trying not to look too disappointed. "Well, if that's what she wants…" he said slowly, and began to trail off.

"Cheer up, James," Lily said, "Now we know what you need to do."

James grinned at her. "You're right," he said, his face lighting up a fraction, "I'll do whatever I have to do."

"As will I," Lily countered with a grin of her own.

James' grin widened. "Well, it's a good thing I'm here," James said cockily.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself," she said airily. "I could act like a five year old without any lessons from you."

From the expression on James' face, she had guessed correctly at what he was planning to say.

"It's harder than it looks," James protested. "I got the easy part."

Lily looked incredulous. "Being me? You think it's easy?"

James grinned. "I'll just kick a couple Slytherin asses, and I'll be in the club," he said with a wink.

Lily laughed. "Sorry, Grindelwald, I don't think you could handle it."

James rolled his eyes. "Well, you'll just have to teach me."

Lily pretended to scoff. "I'll see if I can fit you into my schedule."

"Likewise," James returned with a crooked smile.

There was a long moment that they just watched each other, still smiling, unconscious that the conversation had ended.

Suddenly, a thought hit Lily.

"Oh!" she said, smacking herself in the forehead. "How could I forget!"

James looked excited. "Is there more?"

"Yes!" Lily exclaimed, moving to the edge of her seat, her eyes beginning to brighten. "Dorcas told me that there was only one person that knew, from her, about you guys."

"Who?" James asked breathlessly.

Lily leaned forward, waiting a second simply to heighten the anticipation. "Rebecca Robinson."

James jumped up from his seat. "Caradoc told a Rebecca about you two!"

Lily now jumped up with him. "I know! And Rebecca Robinson is Ashley Queenen's best friend!"

James looked at her for a long moment, marveling in how her eyes were starting to glow again, how she was beginning to radiate.

"It all fits," James said rationally. "All we need is a…"

"Motive," Lily finished.

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