Hello! This is my (potential) multi-chapter story! Umm… I'll start with this experiment okay, which is Okita's diary. Then the next chapter will be someone else's diary; maybe Susumu? Anyway, this chapter is kind of like a warm-up for me, so I'm not too happy about how it turned out… but I hope you like it anyway!

Warning: Chronology has been totally ignored.

This is my first time writing a story in this format, so I'm not too sure how it'll work out (or whether allows it or not). So, if there's something wrong with it, or if you feel I should stick to prose, just write and tell me about it, okay?

Umm… requests are accepted (but not necessarily carried out).

PMK does not belong to me.

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Smile: The Diary

Okita

Day One

One week ago, Kondou-san suddenly came up with the idea that writing a diary might be a good way for the men to deal with all the bloodshed and stuff. Thus, we all have got a brand new diary and a Compulsory Diary Writing Hour, or Complicated Difficult Word Hour, as Harada-san puts it. It's a drag, but the alternative is seppuku, so no one wants to argue.

Anyway, I'm supposed to put all my thoughts in here about the blood and everything… all the killing you know… so um… here goes.

… … … … …

Eh…

Hmm…

The blood…

Eh…

… … … … …

Wow… this is actually harder than I thought it would be… um… ok, here goes.

One, blood smells like a rusting piece of metal stuck in a decaying piece of flesh that has been floating in the sewage for weeks.

Two, bloodstains are near impossible to remove. Um… somewhere along that line is the thought that the Shinsengumi uniform is really, really impractical. When you get blood on it, you wash and wash and wash, and eventually the stain becomes a sort of yellowish, brownish thing. On light blue, that actually comes up as green. Which is why, you can tell who are the older members; their haori tend to be greener. At least Hijikata-san, Kondou-san and Yamanami- san can bleach their white uniforms. I tried bleaching mine once. The end result was something like a nice sky on a nice sunny day; you know… the blue sky with the big, white, almost solid clouds? Yeah… well, Hijikata-san accused me of defiling my Shinsengumi identity. Apparently, being a samurai means your soul is a sword, your identity is your uniform and your physical self is nothingness.

Three, blood feels yucky. I slashed this guy's throat today, and the blood splattered all over me. I know one of those Ladies of Aizu once told Hijikata-san that bathing in blood is supposed to keep you young forever, but honestly, how true can that be? Oh wait… maybe that's why Nagakura-san looks ten and why I have such great skin… and why the Shinsengumi seems to have inexplicably large percentage of good looking guys in its population (according to Ayumu-san at least).

Four, blood is… red.

Ok, I think I'm out of ideas. But how many things can you write about blood? I haven't even used up one sheet of paper yet! And I'm supposed to use the entire book to write about blood? Kondou-san's really pushing it this time…

On the other hand, it is honestly quite therapeutic to rant about the Shinsengumi uniform like this… oh… Harada-san needs help with his spelling. So, I'm off then! Bye!

Day Two

Yamanami-san informed me today that the diary isn't supposed to be all about blood. Apparently, it's supposed to be filled with my daily life and stuff. I guess that means Saitou-san's in trouble. As far as I know, his daily life consists of "Wake up, eat, meditate, eat, meditate, eat, go on patrol, bathe and, voila, sleep".

Ok… I got carried away. Anyway, my daily life…

I woke up at six today and went to the well to wash my face. Incidentally, I ran into Yamazaki-san who was washing a wound with water. He must have been really jumpy because when I greeted him, he jumped so hard he ended up at the bottom of the well. I had to fish him out with the bucket. He didn't look too happy about that. I don't know why though; it is rather fun, like playing fishing!

Anyway, breakfast came about six-thirty, and Ayumu-san made tempura! I ate five of those and a whole bowl of rice! Oh… and the miso soup was really good too… and Ayumu-san sneaked me three sweet cakes that she had made specially for me! Yay!

After that, I went to feed Saizou and his family! Saizou got into a fight with his first cousin on his mother's side. His fifth cousin, daughter of his third uncle tried to interfere and ended up with a cut on her snout. I had to patch it up for her. Eventually, the fight stopped when the big Grandmother came and sat on both parties. I had to patch up both Saizou and his first cousin later as well. Right after that, he got into a fight again with his fourth cousin by marriage on his sixth cousin's side… wait… or is it his fourth cousin by marriage on his sixth cousin's ninth son's side… ah… never mind.

Anyway, the pig pen is now one pig less; Saizou is following me everywhere from now on.

Um… anyway, later today, I sneaked a peek at Hijikata's haiku book. He's got a new entry! It reads, "When the wind blows, the pages of my book turn, and stains everything". It was so hilarious! I read it to the Comedian Trio, and they thought it was some kind of a riddle! Until… they saw what I was holding and realized what it was… and ran away…

Eh… after that, I went on patrol! I got into a huge fight with a bunch of drunk ronins. Oh, and that reminds me. I know Yamanami-san told me the diary needn't be all about bloodshed, but just in case…

Blood is sticky and tastes like salt and copper.

Don't ask how I know that.

Anyway, that is kind of my daily life. It's about the same everyday anyway; I really don't see the point of filling an entire book with the same thing. I'll have to ask Yamanami-san about this.

Maybe, I should start writing haiku instead…

Day Three

This diary thing is starting to confuse me real bad. Now, Ayumu-san told me that the diary is supposed to be filled only with things that I found interesting… or my thoughts and feelings and secrets. I don't see how that can be beneficial to the Shinsengumi. If one of those shinobi or kunoichi steals our diaries, all our secrets will be known to all the Choshu rebels.

Wait, I just wrote a thought down, didn't I?

Hey, I'm getting good at this.

Day Four

I've made several discoveries today. One of them is that it is not really a good idea to fight in a yukata, because your modesty is sure to be compromised. Fortunately, I discovered that not because I was the one wearing the yukata. Unfortunately, I discovered that because Takeda-san was the one wearing the yukata. If he wanted to fight in a yukata, he could at least have the decency to wear a loincloth.

I believe I am scarred for life. There are just some things about your friends that you really don't want to know about.

Anyway, the other thing that I discovered today is that Ayumu-san isn't the best cook in the world. I used to think she was because she could make the PERFECT sweet cake. Apparently, Yamazaki-san can cook better than she can. He makes an IMPOSSIBLE sweet cake.

We found that out because Ayumu-san had to run one of those errands for Hijikata-san today, and so Yamazaki-san had to stand in for her. (It was that or Nagakura-san, and no one wants to consider what could happen should we let the latter cook) We all tried to catch a peek of Yamazaki-san in an apron, but he had locked the kitchen door firmly on us. What a pity… we will just have to try again next time.

And I hope there will be a next time, because his sweet cakes didn't come from Yoshida's Bakery Goods, they came from heaven.

Anyway, I have been assigned to give Harada-san spelling lessons so he can continue doing his Complicated Difficult Word Hour. If he stops, he'll have to commit seppuku. Not that I'm too worried; after all, he did try that once, and he's still doing fine right now.

Day Five

I've decided to write a haiku today!

The pigs run around the yard, I bring out my secret stash of candy, and smile.

Hmm… got to work on my rhythm, I think. And maybe start smoking from a pipe…

Day Six

Alright… I've just thrown up my lunch so I'm a little weak. I stole Hijikata-san's pipe today and tried smoking. All I can say is, arg, how does that man do it? It only took one inhalation to knock me out. Kondou-san found me and revived me. I'm sorry to say that I repaid that debt by vomiting all over him. And Hijikata-san got scolded for leaving his pipe lying around.

I'll have to find a way to apologise to both of them. Maybe a new packet of tobacco for Hijikata-san…? No. Smoking is obviously such a bad habit; I'll have to find a way to make him kick it.

First thing's first, I've got to go throw up my dinner…

Day Seven

I am much better today! Hijikata-san called me a 'girly guy' because I couldn't handle a little smoke and wine. Apparently, he still remembers the first time I tried drinking sake. To make a really long story really short, I threw up in front of the Commissioner.

I really don't see what the fuss is; at least I didn't throw up on the Commissioner. Unfortunately, I did throw up on his pet dog. If you ask me, the dog looked and smelt much better after I've showered it with my dinner. It's not that I have anything against animals, in fact, I'm quite fond of that dog; it's just that I think the last time it had a bath was on the day it was born.

Nevertheless, I don't know why not being able to handle a smoke and a drink is a feminine trait. After all, Ayumu-san drinks like Harada-san and I've seen some of the court ladies smoke like a chimney. Perhaps, Hijikata-san was referring to the Hotaru-san kind of 'girls' when he said I was a 'girly guy'.

At least he had the sense to not call me a 'girl'; it would have been very painful for me to tell Tetsu-kun that I had deprived him of his very own demon master.

Anyway, both Commander and Vice-Commander were more or less appeased by my offering. I gave Kondou-san a new brush and Hijikata-san a new hair clip. I'm honestly very proud with the hair-clip. It has such pretty little flowers on it! I always knew that sunflowers went with Hijikata-san! He has the complexion for it! He promised to wear the hair clip the whole of today.

Hey, the Comedian Trio just walked past! Hi! Ha… they just came out from the dojo, I'm sure. I know Hijikata-san is holding training for the men today. Eh… why on earth are they laughing like that for?

Day Eight

Oh – My – God. How difficult can it be to spell 'like'? I mean, it's just four letters! L – I – K – E! How hard can that be? Why on earth can't Harada-san spell 'like'? I mean… he's spelt it 'lyke', 'lkei', 'eilk', 'keil' and 'kill', but never as 'like'. Admittedly, the last try showed he had some potential in the area of spelling, but it isn't 'like'!

Todou-san thinks that the fact Harada-san spelt 'like' as 'kill' is indicative of some sort of fundamental psychological problem. He called it the, "Black-Widow Syndrome". I wonder what that means.

Anyway, I've decided to lower Harada-san's level to two-lettered words. I mean, how difficult can it be to spell 'on'?

Day Nine

Apparently, very difficult. Harada-san spelt 'on' as 'no', 'oo', 'nn' and (for some reason) 'oni', but not once did he spell 'on' as 'on'.

If it weren't for the fact that this is Harada-san we're talking about, I would think he was doing this deliberately!

At any rate, it has come to such that I have to consciously remind myself to never bring a sword, bokken or anything vaguely katana-like for my lovely tuition lessons with Harada-san. We don't want accidents to happen now, do we?

Day Ten

I've been saved! Yamanami-san agreed to take over as Harada-san's tutor! In commemoration of this joyous occasion, I've decided to write another haiku!

The bear lumbers past and knocks into a tree. The saint appears to save his soul. I escape and laugh.

Alright, so admittedly I shouldn't be celebrating Yamanami-san's misery, but I think I shall head down to the candy shop for some Fortune Twists. Oh the irony; and the sweet satisfaction of candy!

Day Eleven

I'm tired today. Ran into another bunch of drunken ronin. Unfortunately, this bunch could really fight.

At first, they thought I was a girl. Then they thought I was a girl dressed up as a boy. Then they thought I was a boy dressed up as a girl dressed up as a boy. I'm not sure that was the last conclusion they would have drawn, but I couldn't let them continue now, could I?

Honestly, I swear I didn't mean to pummel them that hard.

One of them is still alive anyway. I volunteered to oversee the torturing of that ronin and Hijikata-san gave me this odd look. Sure, I usually don't do torture duty unless I really have to, but I just want to do my part for the Shinsengumi you know? Anyway, when Hijikata-san found out that they had called me a girl, a girl dressed up as a boy and a boy dressed up as a girl dressed up as a boy, he banned me from going anywhere within ten feet of the torture chamber.

Really, am I that untrustworthy?

Ok, so I beat up more than my fair share of training partners, but that's just… because I'm trying my best to be useful… for the Shinsengumi and Hijikata-san.

No really, I mean it.

Really.

Day Twelve

Today was a bright and cheery day, and I've regained my bright and cheery personality! I finally got to play with the kids at the temple! Yay! We played merry-go-round, tag, who's-the-ugly-bastard and sword-fighting (in which I refused to use anything katana-like).

Fun as that was, my good mood was kind of doused when on my way back to headquarters I was forced to barge in on a group of twenty men who were discussing the bombing of the palace. Yet again, I was mistaken for a girl. Suffice to say, all twenty of them suffered miserably.

To make a long story short, tonight, I have to teach Harada-san and Nagakura-san how to put one over Hijikata-san. And I thought I would never have to tutor Harada-san ever again in my entire life! On the other hand, this isn't related to spelling so maybe it wouldn't be that bad after all…

Anyway, I've got to go now. The lesson is in two hours' time and I haven't even made up any of my lessons yet.

Day Thirteen

I slept all the way until the evening today, thus conveniently missing morning patrol. Yikes… Hijikata-san's going to murder me… but I haven't seen him around, which is odd. Anyway, apparently people found out I've been teaching Harada-san and Nagakura-san how to put one over Hijikata-san, and now everyone's begging me to teach them. Not that I see any problem with that…

I just hope no one finds out that I've been making up all this lessons. Surely they don't really work…

Anyway, I don't have much to say today because I've slept most of today away. Not to mention, I've got the whole Shinsengumi to teach, so… bye for now.

Day Fourteen

Today was a really fun day! I had to take Hijikata-san to see the doctor. When he didn't come home yesterday, Kondou-san made us all go out and search for him. Yamazaki-san found him in a ditch; apparently he had been drinking or something.

That was really silly of him because he's got a cold now and he's delirious. He keeps mumbling something like, "Souji… Souji is everywhere… I'm in hell…"

I don't really understand what was going on and why I should be everywhere. Kondou-san told me that Hijikata-san's probably just having a nightmare. Somehow, I feel I should be insulted. Why am I a nightmare? Sure, I'm a demon's child, but usually I'm friendly and nice to other people.

On the other hand, if I had a dream where Kondou-san's face or Tetsu-kun's face or… Hijikata-san's face was everywhere, I've probably go delirious as well.

Anyway, I finally got Hijikata-san to the clinic. That doctor sure is talkative; he kept asking me why sweet little me was in the Shinsengumi. I had to keep repeating that it was because I am a demon's child. He gave me really strange looks after that; maybe I smiled too much when I said that line.

After a long talk with me, the doctor gave us some sort of medicine that smells like it's been kept at the bottom of a drawer for too long. I hope the doctor isn't a Choshu rebel trying to poison Hijikata-san. Just in case, I've decided to test some on Harada-san. After all, if cutting open his own stomach can't kill him, nothing can. I think I'll sneak some into his supper.

Day Fifteen

Today was such an odd day! When I was going on my rounds, people kept pointing and gesturing at me. I mean, sure, people always point and gesture at Shinsengumi members, but this time, some even came straight up to me and patted me on my shoulder, mumbling, "I'm sorry for you, dear boy, I'm so sorry for you." I was even given a wreath of chrysanthemums. Lovely as that was… it got me a little… confused.

Usually, people don't dare to do that to me. I wonder what could have happened.

Oh, and the results on my test subject! Apparently, the medicine isn't poison. The only complains Harada-san had for the food was, "Hey, Ayu-nee! Your veggie tastes a little bitter today. What's up?" Needless to say, that almost earned him a chopper between the eyes.

Tetsu-kun was nice enough to help me force-feed Hijikata-san his medicine. I must say though, the boy takes a rather disturbing pleasure in cramming the spoon down Hijikata-san's throat. Maybe the both of us are more similar than I initially thought. After all, I must admit that force-feeding generally does not require you to punch the subject repeatedly in the ribs…

By the way, my shift has been changed to night patrol. Recently, all our casualties have occurred at night, so Kondou-san's shifting all the stronger patrols to night-shift. The only problem I have with that is that I wouldn't be able to personally attend to the pigs during their morning feeding. Dear god, the sacrifices I make for the Shinsengumi…

But I couldn't refuse poor Kondou-san; especially not after he offered me a whole packet of Kyoto's Famous Cinnamon Drops!

Day Sixteen

I'm sorry I didn't start my Difficult Word Hour earlier… but I was too busy rolling on the floor, giggling helplessly. Now I know why everyone's being so nice to me all the time! Somehow, the word has gotten around that I'm Hijikata-san's illegitimate child. Kondou-san sent Yamazaki-san out to find out how these rumours started, and he came back with the results.

Dong! Time for 'Join the Dots'!

Hijikata Toshizou is known as the demon vice-commander.

I introduced myself on several occasions as a demon's child.

The latest time I did that was to a certain doctor down the street.

Get it?

Personally, I found it hilarious that people thought I could be related in anyway to Hijikata-san. Do we even look alike? The only thing similar about us is the fact that both of us are great swordsmen from the Shinsengumi. Me and Hijikata-san related… what a laugh! I don't mind actually; it's kind of fun!

On the other hand, when Hijikata-san wakes up… he's sure to blow it. (Yeah, he's still delirous from the fever.) I hope he doesn't order me to commit seppuku. Hmm… I don't think he will. I've even been able to wriggle out of writing lines, so I don't think I'll have much trouble wriggling out of committing seppuku.

Come to think of it, can you imagine the rumours if it's found out that most of the Shinsengumi members, especially the older ones, think of themselves as demon's children as well?

And Hijikata-san has the reputation of being a rather… eh… busy man, as well.

We should all stop calling him 'Hijikata-san' and start calling him 'Daddy'. Now that would be a really suicidal idea.

Maybe I can convince the Comedian Trio to join me as well.

Day Seventeen

Hi! Eh… gee, my handwriting looks terrible. Not that I can help it; I'm currently hiding under the Shinsengumi floorboards. It's not that uncomfortable actually because it's a specially hollowed out space Yamazaki-san made to travel in. He gave me permission to hide there for a while until Hijikata-san cools down.

I knew he would get mad at me for calling him 'Daddy', but I didn't expect him to leap out of bed and come tearing after me with a katana in hand. Based on what I can hear from here, I would probably be hiding out till morning.

This is actually kind of fun! Like hide-and-seek, only more risky. Maybe I should do this more often.

I only hope the Comedian Trio found a suitable hiding place as well.

Eh… apparently not. I can hear them screaming from here. For some reason, Nagakura-san is screaming something that sounds like, "Find a potato! We need a potato! Hurry!"

Hmm… oh, Yamazaki-san's here with my dinner! Got to go now; Ayumu-san made me my favourite rice-cakes again!

Oh wait… Yamazaki-san's just been cornered by Hijikata-san… and now he's being pummeled by Hijikata-san… and now Hijikata-san is approaching my hiding place.

Ah well, time to make use of my nice strong legs and run like the wind.

Wait… not a good example, because the wind doesn't run.

Time to make use of my nice strong legs and run like… Saizou's nose on a cold day.

Yeah, that's a good one, if a little crude.

Day Eighteen

First and foremost, I must apologize for getting blood all over you, dear diary. It's not my fault really; Hijikata-san just had to insult me by calling me a 'girl'. He knows I'm highly sensitive to comments that are in reference to the gender that I am not.

I must state here that I'm not psychotic; I just have a… tendency to be a little too serious in fights, even friendly ones.

On the other hand, I'm apologizing to a book, so who can say?

Hmm… well, just in case you're wondering, the Comedian Trio and Yamazaki-san made it out okay. The Comedian Trio managed to make it to the kitchen where Ayumu-san waved a chopper in Hijikata-san's face and warned him that should he choose to advance any further, he would run into things worse than potatoes (namely onions, garlic and a recently boiled pot of oil). Yamazaki-san is a little shaken, but he's okay too. Apparently, the lessons I taught him on invoking guilt came into use again.

I must say, I'm a little worried about that shinobi though; someone who has the word 'seppuku' at the tip of his tongue all the time has to have some really serious problems. Too many lonely nights on the roof, perhaps?

Maybe he needs a pet… or a girlfriend? I know! I could probably introduce him to Saizou's eleventh cousin second removed on his third aunt's side. Then Yamazaki-san and I could become related by marriage! Yay!

Oh yeah… and I ran into Ryoma-san during patrol today. Instead of meeting my challenge as usual, he went totally insane in my face, screaming and yelling before running away. That was pretty odd; usually he isn't that… well, 'cowardly' isn't the best word but it's the only one I can think of. I wonder what's wrong with him.

Perhaps he's sick… ah then the next time I see him, I should introduce him to that doctor from Aizu. He's a really nice man; treats both patriots and traitors, I heard.

Well… Ryoma's got until next week before I have to go arrest the doctor. Hmm… maybe I should introduce him to the other doctor down at Kyoto instead. Though… I wouldn't guarantee that doctor wouldn't stick a knife through his heart first…

Day Nineteen

I managed to locate Ryoma-san today! He tried to run away, but I cornered him in an alley-way. Really, I have no idea why he was so frightened of me; I kept telling him that I wasn't there to arrest him, just to introduce a doctor to him, but that didn't make him feel better. He was so terrified I was sure he was going to collapse and die or something.

And I couldn't figure out why he didn't want me to come near him. I mean… not that I particularly wanted to be near him, but conversation is a little… strained when the conversationalists are four meters away from each other.

So anyway, I told him that the doctor down the street from the Shinsengumi Headquarters is a really good doctor, and that he should go to that doctor for help because even I could tell he was sick with all the sweating and shivering he was doing.

For some reason, after I told him about the doctor, he kept asking, "Is it what happened last evening? Are you carrying some kind of disease? Did you pass your disease to me when you… ack… you know?"

Really! All I did was talk to him, and we weren't even close to each other. What could I have passed to him when I met him last night? Ryoma-san's getting more and more paranoid. I felt uncomfortable arresting such an instable man, so I chose to let him go. I just stood there and say, "Go on, you can go now" but he wouldn't even budge. When I asked him why, he just said that he wouldn't trust me enough to go within ten feet of me, and I was blocking the alley entrance (which was about a five feet wide).

I'm hurt. I mean, sure, we're on the opposite sides, I know that, but he didn't need to be so mean about it now, did he? We've already fought together before, haven't we? That made us kind of like… samurai-friends, right? I mean… not that I would call him a samurai since he uses a gun, but he does own a sword and all…

Maybe, I should go back and arrest him. I just need to find a way to make him let his guard down enough for me to get within ten feet of him.

Day Twenty

Oh dear… I suspect the Shinsengumi is about to fall apart. Hijikata-san just found out about the rumours that I'm his illegitimate son. Needless to say, most of us spent half the time begging Yamazaki-san to loan us all his secret hiding places. The other half of the time was spent hiding out in those secret hiding places.

I am currently squashed in a tiny hole beneath the dojo with Saizou, Hajime-san, Tetsu-kun and Tatsu-kun. Since the hole was originally designed for only one or two people, we are all feeling distinctively uncomfortable.

Fortunately, Tetsu-kun is of a… less advanced size, so he more or less fits on Tatsu-kun's lap, and Hajime-san has a rather extraordinary ability to twist his limbs into the most unnatural position. He tells me it's a skill he learned in yoga classes. I wonder what that means.

I must say though, it is rather disturbing to see Hajime-san's head tucked under his right leg, and his arms winded around his other leg.

Anyway, Hijikata-san is still thundering about above us, screaming something like, "All of you are banned from calling yourselves 'demon's child'! Anyone caught addressing themselves as 'demon's child' will commit seppuku, do you hear me? Do you? From now on, the only kind of animal we are associated with are Wolves! Wolves, you hear me?"

Well… that's all nice and good, but honestly calling yourself a 'wolf's child' is really not as… dramatic as calling yourself a 'demon's child'. Anyway, I think the term 'Wolves of Mibu' doesn't apply to most of us. I protest to being a wolf of any sort. I don't visit Shimbara regularly. And, while Tetsu-kun does visit Shimabara regularly, Todou-san has reassured me that the only inappropriate thing he does is eat more candy than is good for him.

Mm… candy… could do with a nice packet of Five Coloured Peas now. I'm so hungry!

Apparently, I'm not the only one too. The rest of the guys are looking at Saizou with… really weird… looks on their faces. Got to go now… I believe there's a piece of stick here that will do nicely as a make-shift katana.

And I re-iterate again; I am not psychotic; just a little… emotional.

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Eh… for those who didn't understand the comments about the Wolves, in Chinese, perverts are linked to wolves metaphorically. Ha ha…

Anyway, it's review time! Hope you guys enjoyed this fic!