Race looked deep into Note's eyes and declared, "I just think I'm in love. This seems like the real thing, you know?"

Note's jaw dropped. It was very dramatic. "Wait, what? Really?" At the sight of Race's disappointed face, she backpedaled. "I mean, feelings are good and all, but doesn't this seem sudden?"

Wait, what? Okay, pause. Alright, rewind. Rewind…OKAY, STOP. Play.

Hollwood grinned. "Oh my gosh, you should see season five. Like, it's amazing. Because in the beginning, you are all okay, fine, Riley. You are sort of attractive, but I have had enough of you. Then, there's SPIKE and you go all…"

Okay, pause. This could take some time. Let's just fast forward at, like, half speed.

Hollywood talks about Buffy. Note, along with everyone in a five mile radius (besides Blink, because he sort of loves her, but whatever), gets annoyed and makes a comment. Hollywood's eyes narrow. Uh oh. Mini golfing gets boring, because, really, how long can you spend playing mini golf? They decide to take cabs back. Hollywood, using her specific type of genius, which only shows up when she is very upset, manages to manipulate Spot into her cab, leaving Race and Note alone. In a normal situation, this would be fine, but Note only has so long with Spot before she has to be a boy again and she would like more chances to sneakily seduce him. Friendship faux pas, Hollywood. You are a frenemy.

Okay, let's slow this back down to normal speed. And…play.

Race slumped in his seat. "Well, this girl…she's always had this thing for Jack. And I know she doesn't even notice me. She's just so beautiful, and caring, and classy…"

Note gaped at him in blatant disbelief. "Caring? Classy? This is Sarah we're talking about, right? God, classy is just about the last adjective I'd use to describe her. Well, no, the last word I'd use would be charming, but, whatever." Race had frozen and was currently staring at her like she had three heads. "Don't look at me like that, buddy-boy. You didn't even notice her until, like, yesterday. What?" she asked, annoyed. Race was still gaping at her.

"How do you even know who Sarah is?" Race asked her, his forehead furrowing in a way that made him look like a four year old. "And how would you know what she's like? And…and maybe she looked really pretty yesterday, but I noticed her before that!" Race was becoming increasingly agitated, but with his brow still furrowed, so he resembled a four year old on a serious sugar high. "And there's no way you could know that I spent most of yesterday daydreaming about her! You can't know that!"

Note shrank away from him and attempted to think, which was hard because her brain kept saying, "Abort! Repeat, abort! You are panicking! Your friend-who-knows-you-as-a-boy is also your friend-who-knows-you-as-a-girl and now is your angry-friend-who-suspects-that-you-may-actually-be-your-brother-so-you-are-a-girl-pretending-to-be-a-boy! Abort!"

Wow, this is dramatic. Gosh. Let's take a break and check out the deleted scene in Hollyood's cab. Okay, menu. Bonas features. Deleted scenes.

"And season six is so great. I mean, it's kind of a downer because Giles is gone and off in England. And Buffy is all sad and depressed, due to the whole death thing." Three guesses on what Hollywood was talking about.

"Cool." Spot said in a monotone. He was still kind of confused about how he ended up in this cab with this crazy girl. He was kind of planning on sitting super close to Note and then when they went over a bump in the road, he could 'accidentally'…

"What about Willow? Isn't she Buffy's best friend?"

Spot glared at Blink. He was in the middle of a lovely romantic fantasy and the stupid pirate had to go and ruin it. If he didn't watch it, soon he would have to wear two eye patches. He could totally make it look like an accident, too. They'd just have to go over a bump in the road and he could 'accidentally'…

"Oh, yes. She even brings Buffy back from the dead. They're best friends, just like me and Miley…" Hollywood trailed off. She actually felt a bit bad for separating Spot and Note, since they would soon have to be boys again and all. Plus, Note would never give this up. She'd be at Hollywood's funeral and be all like "FYI, she totally ruined my life. So we shouldn't even feel bad about her dying. Me, on the other hand, I got a splinter today. So, let's focus on that."

Since she didn't want her funeral ruined, she sent Note a quick text.

Cool! Well, that was pointless and stupid. Also, the scenery outside of the cab looked totally fake. Fucking greenscreen. Let's go back to the main story.

Note was panicking. This was not a good situation. Race looked a bit like he was on the verge of figuring out their secret and she was not ready for that.

"The only way you could know all of this is if you were there, like, at the school. And the only way that could have happened would be if…"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU."

Note looked at Race. Race looked at Note. Well, hell, Note thought, might as well go all in.

"WHAT?" yelled Race.

"Yeah! Love! I looooove you, Racey," Note told him, climbing towards him in the cab. He kept scooting away from her, looking terrified. "I've been, um, stalking you! For, like, ages. Yep. Stalking. Mmmm, what fun." By this point, Note was straddling Race's lap and awkwardly patting his head.

"So, yes. Well, now you know. All the cards are on the table. The table of love. Because I love you. Passionately. And with all my heart. So, my heart is really the table. The I am laying my love out for you on. So, yeah."

Race made a strangled sound. Or he may have asked Note if she was crazy. Either or.

"I think the time for talking is over." She placed her finger across his lips. "It's time for something else." She leaned down awkwardly and puckered her lips.

Suddenly, like a gift from God, or an oasis in a desert, or a unicorn in Barbie in Swan Lake, Note's phone vibrated on the seat next to him. He grabbed it to distract her and read it aloud.

"'Hey, sorry for separating you and lover boy, but think about it, tomorrow you'll be measuring his inseam. You'll be a boy, though, but a little action's better than none, eh? Winky face. PS. Please don't ruin my funeral.'" Race looked up, "Wait, this means you're…"

Next thing Note knew she was standing on a street corner, yelling at the retreating taxi. "YOU BROKE MY HEART, YOU JERK. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I WILL EVER TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT IS TOO PAINFUL. AND ALSO AWKWARD. SO, LET'S JUST PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED AND EVENTUALLY MY HEART WILL HEAL."

She turned around and realized that the cab had dropped her off by an elementary school that had just let out of school. So, there were just about a hundred young children and their parents looking at her in complete terror.

"So!" She clapped her hands. "That is why you should never do drugs. And look both ways before you cross the street." Then she ran away.

And…pause. Let that sink in for a second. Now let's switch to the magical world of Hollywood's cab.

"Hey, my phone's ringing!" Hollywood opened her shiny cell phone (all good things are shiny and/or bright) and answered. "Hello!"

"I punched Race."

Hollywood dropped her phone. "Well, hey, bro. My brother. What did you do that for?"

Note was nearly hysterical as she summarized the 'Cab Incident.' "So, Race almost figured everything out, so I told him I stalked him, and then there was straddling, and patting, and then I tried to kiss him, but then the text with the winky face, and then he knew, and then I punched him. And then I got kicked out of the cab. School children!" Note paused for a breath.

"Woah, brother of mine, calm down. Directions, please." Hollywood covered the mouth of the phone and whispered to the boys, "I'm talking to my brother." They both stared at her like she was completely mental. Which she totally wasn't.

After she hung up, she announced, "We have to go get Miley."

More staring. Hollywood still wasn't mental. Hopefully. "Wait, what?" asked Spot. "Did your brother tell you that? Why would he know that?"

This was bad. Time for on-the-spot thinking. "They're dating!" she burst out, extremely pleased with herself. "Yep, dating. For, like, ages and ages. Miley and that brother of mine. Dating."

Spot narrowed his eyes. On a normal person, it would look intimidating, and sure, Spot looked intimidating, but he also looked extremely attractive, which disoriented Hollywood temporarily.

"What do you mean, dating?"

Hollywood blinked, attempting to focus. "Oh, you know, it's pretty legit. Facebook official and all."

Spot scoffed. "I'm surprised, I just didn't think she was in his league."

"What do you mean? I think my brother is super attractive." The minute it left Hollywood's mouth, she regretted it. "I mean, not in a Flowers in the Attic kind of way. Just, you know, um. We have to go get Miley."