Title: From where I stand

Genre: Gravitation / Angst / Slash

Pairings: Tatsuha + Ryuichi, Tohma + Ryuichi, slight Yuki + Shuichi

Disclaimer: Gravitation and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to Maki Murakami.

Author's Note: Yay! I'm back, and gosh this chapter was so difficult to write. I think i rewrote it like thrice, trying about more than three different approaches before settling on this one. And still, there seems to be something off about this chapter, though i'm not too sure what. I figured it's due to the fact that it's been too long since i last wrote - as in, seriously wrote.

Oh well.

Anyway, call me stupid or IT illiterate but i have no idea how to check for replies for replies that i've answered - if they even do exist. Am i making sense here? In any case, i'll probably be posting this up on my livejournal for the heck of it, so you can find it there too! )

Last but not least, thank you for waiting so long for this! Hopefully, it's up to your expectations.

Readability's a 72.7.

Chapter 6: Shatter Apart

Somehow, Tohma managed to hold his weight in his arms, despite the fact that they had almost the same build. I pushed open the soundproof door, holding it open for Tohma as he cradled Ryuichi in his arms, the stained tear tracks still evident on Ryuichi's face. It hurt to look at him and I was cowardly enough to look away.

Once he got through, I let the door close, choosing instead to glare at some poor office worker who had the misfortune to chance upon us, his mouth agape as he stared at Ryuichi unconscious in Tohma's protective hold.

The worker jumped, hurrying away as he tried to pretend the moments before did not take place. Huffing, I stalked down the corridor, paving the way for Tohma as I emptied the corridors of curious onlookers with my glare – which weren't many, if I had to be entirely truthful.

We reached the forty-third floor in record time and as we passed by, the secretary, whose name I could not recall, paled in shock at the sight. I almost snarled at her, if not for Tohma's cool and firm voice cutting into the heavy stunned silence.

"Irene, please call K," he said curtly before brushing past her as he continued his brisk walk towards his office. I shot him a curious glance – shouldn't she be calling a doctor instead?

He didn't catch my gaze and I let it slide, bypassing him to open the wooden oak door. He brushed past me and in that instant; I could see the tension in his muscles, the way his jaw stiffened and the furrow of his brows.

Ryuichi, please get better.

Entering the office after him, I realized that he had placed Ryuichi on the sofa, kneeling down on the floor beside him as he studied the famous singer, our precious friend, his fingers lightly brushing the brown strands of Ryuichi's hair.

"Tohma," I whispered, unwilling to breach the silence of the office aside from the soft breaths coming from Ryuichi. Eyes hooded, it seemed as though Tohma did not hear me even though my words were crystal clear.

A pregnant pause filled the room, the only sound Ryuichi's quick harsh breaths. Tohma continued to slide his fingers through the silken strands of Ryuichi's long fringe. Ryuichi shifted, head tossing to a side as his face took on a stricken expression. His hand stilled.

A moment after, Tohma let out a frustrated sigh. Eyes never straying from Ryuichi, he spoke. "He's so tense," he said, voice brittle instead of cold. "It's like…he's trapped somewhere hideous in his world of dreams."

A familiar pressure built up behind my eyes and I tried to blink away the tears that were to come. Tohma sounded infinitely sad and I could almost taste the despair in his words, woven in his voice as clear as water melt from snow.

"In the world of nightmares," I whispered as I made my way towards the sofa, crouching down beside Tohma where he knelt, keeping vigil.

It was then that I caught sight of Ryuichi, truly seeing him for the first time since the episode in the recording room. The tears that I didn't really manage to blink away returned, blurring my vision as I studied my dear friend.

Tohma was right, I thought as I tried to choke back a sob. Ryuichi did seem as if he was in the world of nightmares, trapped in some horrifying place, hurting as he tried to wrestle with the darkness. He was pale and drawn, his face scrunched up in pain. There was no fitful slumber, yet from the way his muscles were tensed and the beginning of tears that made its way down his cheeks, it was obvious that he was hurting.

I choked back a sob, knowing full well that it was not my place to cry, nor did I have a right. After all, what did I know of suffering? All that I have known paled in comparison to the tragic sight before my eyes – my usually happy bouncing friend with his face twisted in the presence of his own inner demons.

Tohma let out a shuddering breath, his fingers reaching out to caress Ryuichi's forehead, trying to undo the creases in his features twisted in pain, or fear, whichever Ryuichi was facing. "It's okay, Ryuichi," he whispered, voice shaking. Tohma was close to tears – something I had never seen before in my entire life. "Nothing's going to hurt you."

I looked on in wonderment, amidst the tears that blurred my vision, at Tohma. He who was so cold was now so…human. It wasn't like I have not seen this side of him – the gentle boy who loved his music. It had just been…such a long time, and to see it today, when I had not the chance to see it for almost three years, threw me off the loop. But then again, Ryuichi threw me off the loop too.

"Nothing's going to hurt you," he repeated, eyes lowered as his left hand fisted around the fabric of the sofa, knuckles turning white. "Not as long as I am here."

Silence filled the room after Tohma's promise, the only sound the sharp breaths Ryuichi took as he wrestled with the nightmares in his dreams; Tohma too preoccupied to speak as he attempted to soothe Ryuichi with his gentle touches and me being too distressed to do anything but kneel there, watching but not registering the wretched sight before me.

The harsh, brusque opening of doors startled me and I turned swiftly, only to see K making his way quickly towards us with worry evident in his voice. He pushed past me and Tohma, his face twisting in something akin to desperation and despair as he caught sight of Ryuichi.

"What happened?" he asked, turning fiery eyes to Tohma. "What did you do?" He growled, lifting Tohma up by the front of his dress shirt with his clenched fists. I stared at him, feeling much like a fish with its mouth agape.

What?

Tohma's eyes flashed dangerously as K pulled him to his feet, his coarse fists wrinkling his dress shirt. "Do not manhandle me," Tohma said coldly, sending shivers down my spine.

Ignoring him, K pressed in closer, a feral look in his usually gentle features. I looked on in horror as his voice dropped to a growl, low and dangerous. "What did you do to him?"

Tohma met his gaze, cold fury in his steel eyes. "Nothing," he spat out, pushing K back though he failed to loosen the tight grip K had on his shirt.

"Guys," I stammered, finally breaking out of the shocked, horrified state I was in. "Please! Stop it!"

They didn't hear me, or perhaps they chose instead to ignore me in favor of glaring at each other, harsh breaths breaking the precious silence of the room.

"K! Tohma called you in because you're close to Ryuichi! Ryuichi wouldn't want anything of this sort to happen!" I cried out, furious tears leaking from the corners of my eyes, smearing my makeup.

K's grip on Tohma's shirt only tightened, if the whitening of his fists were anything to go by. "I've said it once, and I will not say it again. Cease manhandling me," Tohma ordered, voice so cold it was absolute zero.

I choked back a sob, watching in horror as K's face twisted in anger and some other emotion I could not place while Tohma met his eyes with some sort of stubborn pride and fearlessness.

"Tat...Tatsuha."

I turned around at that weak cry, forsaking the scene before me to focus my attention on Ryuichi, whose face was twisted in anguish. A sour feeling ate at the insides of my soul, leaving me feeling lesser than before.

I felt rather than saw Tohma and K break apart, both coming to stand at my sides, leaving me right in the centre. K knelt down at Ryuichi's side, a hand reaching out to brush away the remnants of tears.

"He cried," he stated rather disbelievingly. Tohma nodded his head, and at that moment, it seemed like there was an unspoken truce between the two of them. "Ryuichi never cries," he whispered, though it seemed like he was speaking to himself in the light of his newfound knowledge of Ryuichi.

"He…was afraid of me," Tohma said and I knew it killed him to even think it, more so now that he gave them form. K's head bowed, and I could make out a bitter smile. I frowned. Why did it seem as though K was foreseeing this?

I was about to ask when Ryuichi cried out again, calling for Tatsuha – of all people. K hushed him, soothing whispers that stung my heart. How did Ryuichi become so...broken, so fast?

"It's okay, Ryuichi. It's okay." His voice was tender, and I knew his eyes had to be. Ryuichi relaxed fractionally, though the pain in his feature did not ebb away. "He…isn't always sunshine and daisies," K said wistfully, a tinge of sadness laced in his words.

Tohma smiled; a bitter twisted smile that made him look menacing. "I know…"

K didn't seem to agree with him, his mouth already moving as if to retort. Perhaps it was a blessing that Ryuichi awoke then, eyelashes fluttering gently as his eyes opened to reveal infinite sadness in his royal blues.

"K," he said, despair laced in that single word. The tears that left returned, blurring my vision of the visage of a fallen angel. "Tatsuha," he pleaded, his eyes a swirl of negative emotions, of chaos and hell.

K paused, hesitated, as if stunned at the name that graced Ryuichi's lips. Ryuichi found his hand, clinging onto it with some sort of desperation. "Tatsuha," he said again, voice cracking with the sobs that would not come.

Next to me, Tohma fixed his disbelieving gaze upon him. The less emotional part of my brain snorted. Of course he was in shock, after all, Ryuichi had just forsaken him for a hormonal teenager he'd only knew for a short while.

"K," he cried, though the tears would not come, would not fall. He struggled to sit up, clinging onto K until his knuckles turned white. Still, K did not react, instead acting the perfect part of a stiff statue, not that I was any better.

"Tatsuha," Ryuichi said desperately, peering into shocked clear blue eyes, as if he wanted K to realize the urgency of the situation. "Tatsuha," he said again, repeating the name like a mantra. "Tatsuha, Tatsuha, Tatsuha!"

He shook with dry sobs, throwing himself onto K. It was then that K snapped out of his daze, bringing his arms up to wrap around Ryuichi. Beside me, Tohma finally lowered his gaze from Ryuichi - who would not acknowledge him for reasons I knew not.

"I'll get the car," he whispered, as if he was reluctant to breach the silence he held ever since Ryuichi woke up. K nodded; a slight tilt of his head that caused his ponytail to swish gently in the cold air. Taking that for an answer, Tohma turned away, his eyes hooded. Somehow, I had the feeling something very precious broke in Tohma this day, and that the only one that was close to putting it back together again was Ryuichi. That was…if Tatsuha could make him whole again.

It was then that I realized, like light at dawn, that here in this chilled room with Ryuichi broken and in despair and Tohma with his back turned to us, that Nittle Grasper had broken apart.

Again.

HNO3: I hope i didn't disappoint. crosses fingers

P.S: Just a side note, is 'It's' 'It is' or is it Word getting me confused?