Title: Bleed for me?
Author: Micahskitty
Summary: Tohru is crying for help through cutting. Who will hear her silent plea's? Or has she already gone over the edge?
Pairing(s): Tohru&Haru / Tohru&Kyo
Song(s):
Disclaimer: Why bother asking? I own nothing, of course.
WARNING: This has an M rating for a reason, if you haven't noticed such in the past few chapters. It deals with serious issues; issues that happen on a daily basis. If you feel any of these urges, don't act – speak to someone. I'm here, too.
Phew. Pitchforks at the ready? I can't even begin to say how sorry I am but I've missed you guys so, so much. Please forgive me if this is awful but I'm trying to start up again because I can't wait to talk to ya'll once more! I'll keep trying until this is complete and everyone is satisfied.
Thanks so, soo much for the words of encouragement. I'm sorry this is so short in comparison (or in general) but I'm still getting back into the swing.
:)
She knew. She knew what had happened as a result of her inability to love without dilemma. This was to be blamed on her - she knew. Yet as she remained kneeled at the table with a mug of tea cupped between her hands she felt no motivation to punish herself. What good would come of that?
No, instead she wept silently and watched the sad-eyed girl in the reflection of her tea until there was nothing else to be done. Yes, when she had initially moved into this household it was to upkeep it but now? That purpose was long fogotten and no one seemed to find the courage to remind her that dinner hadn't been prepared or that laundry had yet to be started.
They gave her a wide breth and merely co-existed with her. The one time Yuki had come to her to speak she simply forced a smile and nodded her head as though someone was forcing her. Conversation was hopeless - she wouldn't engage.
Now the rat of the zodiac simply sulked in the shadows that were cast on his garden, unsure of what to say. His frustrations had been taken out on the weeds that had started to poke through the soil but it wasn't enough to keep him calm.
His fist admonished the ground quickly as though it had protested and before he knew what he was doing - control was lost and he had assumed the form of a small rat. Beady, purple eyes narrowed as he started to run through the forest. He had a destination in mind.
Had it been days? Weeks? Years? He didn't know anymore. All he knew is that he was alone, hungry, and exhausted. Yes, there was a mat available for him to sleep on but it remained on the cold ground and everytime he shut his eyes he saw her.
Kyo knew this had to be hurting her - breaking her down. How could it not? All she did was accept him, wait for him, and now he wasn't coming back. Who would protect her?
Yuki? Kyo scoffed, snorted in disdain and pulled both of his legs closer, tight to his chest as he stared outwards. That bastard couldn't even care for himself much less a female.
Haru? Naw, that ox had vanished when Kyo was captured and he hadn't heard from him since the start of his imprisonment. The gossip from the ladies that walked past his window was that the guy had just took off again without a second thought. He's not surprised, really. Haru was never known to stick around when things got rough.
Kyo frowned and dropped his head backwards to rest against the wall, eyes squeezed shut. This was torture. What he wouldn't give to see Tohru again - just once. Anything would have been preferred to Akito's occasional visit and constant taunting - anything.
Even the rat that now scurried across his mat and then settled by his feet. Blame it on the lack of food but Kyo would swear those eyes looked familiar in the gleam of the moonlight.
But it couldn't be Yuki. That guy wouldn't come to visit him. Now that Kyo was the outcast (not that he ever stopped) Yuki had no one to contend with. He was the favorite, hailed above the rest, and the orange-haired male is quite certain that where's the rat liked it.
"We have to get you out of here."
Kyo blinked and his jaw was thisclose to hitting the ground as he stared at the creature, felt his tiny paws dart over his bare, dirt-covered foot.
"S'no use. They'll just put me back in." He had resigned himself to this fate, this life that had been promised to him from the very start. His birth was nothing more but a hassle. To his mom, his father, his extended family and now her.
Staying in his animal form, Yuki attempted a frown. It's not easy to pull off with a furry face and whiskers but Kyo caught the gist. "She hasn't stopped crying."
Kyo felt his jaw clench and both eyes were slammed shut again as though the images were being played out. His fists tightened and his spine went stiff with the effort not to lash out. "Yeah? Tell her to try being imprisoned. It's not that great either."
Yuki sat back on his back paws and crossed arms over his fuzzy torso. "Look, you stupid idiot, that girl is crying. Over you. Now you're going to get out of here and you're going to make it stop and you're never going to let it happen again."
His voice is deadly and intimidating and it's everything that Kyo did not want to hear from his smaller nemisis. The lesson had been drilled into his head, he could recite the slading, hateful words that had been laid to his person. "Sure sure. While I'm at it I'll break the curse, undo hundreds of years of misery, and write a novel."
With his whiskers whirling, Yuki's gaze narrowed. "Now isn't the time for sarcasm, you bastard. I don't like you and it has nothing to do with you being the cat. It's because you're an idiot, an unwilling idiot who won't fight for the girl that loves him."
A brow raised and a snort of derision was all Kyo could summon in response.
"I'm getting you out of here."
Tension started to ease from Kyo's shoulders as he listened to Yuki's vehement promise. Those were the very same words he had whispered to himself, to Tohru, to the skies. Never had they come true. He had resigned himself to believing they never would.
"You let me know how that goes for you. Were it that easy I would have already done it." His shoulders shrugged. The one door had been tested and though his feline form was slim, it remained too bulky to slide through the bars on the windows. "Knock yourself out. No - really, do it. All this talk..."
It was unheard of but the rat actually growled - a sound that revertebrated in his small lungs and sounded all wrong coming from a creature of that stature. "You're so weak."
Yuki dropped back down to all fours and started to head back towards the windows when the ground began to shake. It was a merciless, endless shaking and both prisoner and hero swore that the earth was going to open and swallow them whole.
Without thought the rat headed back towards where Kyo sat and started to nudge him to move away from the wall. Kyo complied and began to scoot towards the center of the room, as far from the walls as possible in case they collapsed.
Before any could register what was happening the wall exploded in an endless stream of plaster and wood, rained from the ceiling and in the wake of the destruction. There, revealed by the shadow that was cast and the hole now in the building, stood an ox. Bits of wall still hung from his horns.
Yuki could have kissed the animal had he thought it proper but there was no time for salutations or questioning the motives. Instead Haru simply stomped over to where Kyo resided and gestured for him to get on, to accept aide even when it came in a form that was unappealing.
With a grimace the cat climbed on his back while scooping up Yuki by the tail. Kyo had not done it with the intent of causing pain but it just seemed the easiest way to keep the rat from being left behind. As much as he hated to admit it, he owed the guy.
They couldn't go home. Well, Yuki could because there was no evidence of him being there. But Kyo and Haru? They had demolished a building and left the ruins in their wake as they headed out.
And worse yet? Neither could stop crying because they had defied their god (as they saw it). Their faith had been shattered and it left them with this never-ending ache that threatened to consume them. Haru just kept walking. If anyone found it weird that a cow was moving down the street in the middle of the night, no one said anything.
They came to a clearning in the woods and there was a shack. It was nothing gaudy and Kyo was convinced every other disease had resided there at some point or another but it was secluded and not easy to track so it was perfect. Not to mention it smelled like there was food, something that Kyo could do with at least five pounds of.
"It's been cleaned and stocked. We'll hide out here for a few days... There's a surprise." Haru muttered as he watched Kyo climb down and release Yuki.
Though he knew it wasn't wise he let his hopes rise and he ran towards the house despite the protest of his exhausted bones and weary muscles. The door was pushed open and it revealed what he had hoped for - prayed for.
Her.
She stood there with a smile that was anything but genuine and wide brown eyes that were circled in a purple hue of sleep loss and still, nothing would ever compare.
So he did the one and only thing he knew of. He ran to her and collapsed against her, head falling to her lap has he apologized to the fabric and the top of her thigh. He cried and felt shame and figured this was the most embarassing moment of his existence until her cold, small fingers started to part his hair and soothe the sobs that wracked through his slender form.
"It's okay."
And thought he wanted to believe the words more than anything he wasn't sure how because he couldn't decide if they were meant for him, to him, because a glance upwards revealed that she had been watching Haru as he paced outside.
What, exactly, was okay about any of this? What made a family so dysfunctional and horrible as his own okay? How did weeping and wallowing in pity equal anything sensible? And still, he couldn't stop. He didn't care.
He was free and she was there and he was at a loss of what else to do especially when Yuki, of all people, pressed a small paw to his arm and offered consolation in that comfort.
"It's okay," she repeated and as he breathed, gulped in oxygen, he was that much closer to believing.
It had been days. No, was it weeks? Months? Years? The time in seclusion was passed much like that of imprisonment. There was nowhere he could go without taking the chance of being revealed.
Nowhere any of them could go.
The trio remained in the house with a constant companion in Yuki when the rat wasn't out 'searching' for them. To say things were awkward would be making light of an extreme situation. Things were beyond weird.
First off, Tohru didn't smile at him as much. She didn't even smile at Haru. And when she did smile? It didn't seem authentic, it seemed forced.
Secondly, Haru? He was moodier than usual and more often than not chose to linger outside of the shack in one of the nearby trees where he was close enough to watch them.
Third? Kyo was at an utter loss what he was doing here. There were times when looking at the brunette and her face would cause his heart to shatter. What had he done with her? He knew, from the very start, that getting involved with her would be a bad idea. And now? Now, because of him, because of this curse, he had ruined himself and her.
It didn't help that when she cried at night and he heard it, he'd creep down the hall and find that he was too late. Haru had already managed to sneak in and try to force her candy which she would eventually take.
Sometimes he would stand there and watch them, silent and unmoving. Others he would pad off back to his portion of the run-down place and plead with the fates that his tears not be revealed.
Should he have stayed in that Hell? Would it have been easier than this one?
He didn't have a clue but when he saw Tohru's hand wrapped tightly in Haru's own, he started to think so.