Lovingly dedicated to Spirit Summoner AKA Summo-chan.

You mean so much to me, Manjyome. You just don't realize it. All my friends mean a lot to me but you're somebody unique.

He paused and reread the words he just wrote. Juudai sighed after a moment and placed his pencil down on the desk. How cheesy those words sounded. He formed a cradle with his knuckles and rested his chin on it while gazing at the white wall in front of him. The half-written letter lying on the desk was formed out of the confusion and anxiety from his recent turn of sentiments. Ever since the new school year started, he had developed a new feeling. Juudai didn't know what to classify it as but Manjyome was involved with it somehow. Juudai being Juudai wasn't one to think or mull over things so he concluded that if he just wrote down his mass clutter of emotions and gave it to the spiky-haired boy, maybe all the perplexity would go away.

Except it was harder than it seemed.

"I don't know what to say," he murmured softly to the wall as if the room had ears and would listen to his secrets. "I'm afraid I might scare him if I gush out too much…" Juudai frowned and placed the tip of the pencil to his mouth. What was he going to say? What was he trying to say? "…maybe I should just write what I really feel. No hurt in that, I guess."

'Let your heart guide your words,' was a famous quote he had read in a book. Yes. His heart. Not his stomach. Juudai took a deep breath and organized his thoughts and emotions. He closed his eyes. How did he feel…?

Well, he felt warm inside when he thought about Manjyome and every fiber of his being tingled when he was around the other boy's presence. He loved cheering his –san da chant along side him, he loved taking constant visits to his room, and he never, ever minded serving extra detentions with Manjyome. Manjyome was an inspiration to him and though he seemed cold and angry, Juudai knew that was just an act he put up in order to avoid being hurt once more. Manjyome was really a nice person inside. Juudai opened both eyes, smiling. That was perfect. He felt his frustration disappear and his heart soar with newly discovered inspiration. He dabbed the tip of the pencil onto his tongue and wrote down everything he just gathered in his mind.

I watch you and I feel inspired. You have strength like nobody else, and you're funny and you're cool. I don't know what I think about you but it's a feeling like no other. You motivate me to try my hardest and when I look at you, I feel all goofy.

There was no shame in writing this down. It was the truth, after all. Juudai didn't think Manjyome was dense enough to not accept the truth.

"I just wish I knew what this feeling was…" he murmured sheepishly to nobody.

He wasn't good at sorting out his feelings—it wasn't his area of expertise. Juudai was good at dueling and eating and overall relaxing but other than that, he got confused easily. And girls confused him the most.

He remembered Rei. After their duel, she had left the island on that huge boat, waving and shouting how much she loved him. It confused him. Rei was really sweet and adorable too, but why would she be in love with a guy like him? Rei didn't even get to know him for more than one day before proclaiming her everlasting love. Then the brunette thought back to the president of the tennis club, Ayanokouji Mitsuru, and their duel to become Asuka's fiancée. He had won as always but afterwards Asuka yelled at him and called him an idiot for not understanding the conditions of the duel. Even after all this time he still didn't know what a fiancée was. There was also that time Misawa and one of the Seven Star Assassins, specifically Taniya, had a duel. Misawa was so badly messed up after that match and he was the one who had to step in and make him regain his sense back!

(Sara…erm…ok, she was cute…)

(As for Camilla…well, he wouldn't go there.)

Girls were truly an area of bafflement for him. Juudai really liked Rei, thought Taniya was cool, (…not talking about Sara), (...still not going into Camilla), and treasured Asuka dearly but when things started to get into that love stuff, he chose to stay away from it. It got confusing and Juudai was not one who enjoyed using his brain.

But wait… Didn't Manjyome tell Asuka he loved him?

Juudai bit his lip. Now THAT he truly didn't understand! Manjyome didn't seem the type to open up to anybody but apparently he spilled his feelings to Asuka after stealing the seven spirit keys and challenging her to a love duel.

"…so Manjyome told Asuka he loved her…then he dueled her…she told him she only loved dueling…and Manjyome lost another duel…and he was dumped?"

The wall stared unresponsively back at him. 'Dumped' was a term Fubuki often used. Juudai used to think 'dumped' meant dumping fish into soup or dumping books into a locker but when Fubuki used the word, he made it sound as if it was a negative thing. Come to think of it, Fubuki had explained specifically—

—dumped means that the guy, or in your case, the girl you like doesn't like you back," Fubuki explained all-knowingly. "In this way, you're dumped. Forgotten. Broken. Thrown away. Scattered into the wind like leaves off a branch."

This served to disturb Juudai. Being dumped sounded like a scary thing to go through. "Have you ever been dumped before?" he asked curiously.

The surfer smirked and ran a hand through his dark brown hair. "Me, dumped? Nah…the Blizzard Prince does the dumping, not the other way around!"

Juudai sweatdropped. "Right."

"Well…do you understand now?"

He nodded sheepishly. "I suppose I do—

—alright, that was a lie. He didn't have a clue what Fubuki had said. No matter what angle he looked at it, love was confusing to him. What did Fubuki mean by 'the girl you like' anyway? Juudai didn't like girls. After all, they confused him like love confused him.

Confusing. Confusing. Confusing.

Yes. Worst of all, he was in love with Manjyome who was in love with Asuka who was in love with dueling. Well, Juudai loved dueling and dueling loved him back so did that mean Asuka was dumped? …or at least, Juudai thought he was in love with Manjyome. A sigh escaped his lips. This was confusing. His brain couldn't process any more information lest it exploded on the spot. He might as well just write whatever came to mind and wish that everything worked out the way it should.

"I just hope Manjyome doesn't think I'm crazy after reading this…or dump me…or whatever."

Juudai hunched over the table and began to scribble some more words.

Even if you seem mean and nasty sometimes, I know that you're really a nice guy inside. You just need to loosen up. Do you remember what I told you the first couple of times we dueled? It's not always about winning. Sometimes you just need to have fun…

Brown eyebrows furrowed together and he racked his brain for an appropriate way to conclude his letter in a sensible, evenhanded way so that Manjyome would understand the message he was trying to get through to him after reading it. Juudai jotted down a few more sentences.

I'm glad you chose me to be your rival. I don't know what made me worthy but I feel special. We'll duel one day and maybe then I'll figure out all the answers.

Juudai smiled as he wrote his last sentence.

Duels solve everything, don't you think?

He was about to fold up the letter into a small rectangle when a thought suddenly hit him. Dueling. He didn't want to finish off his letter with dueling. It made it sound too much like another subliminal offer to request a match. Juudai's smile turned into a frown. He erased his last sentence and blew away the eraser shavings. There was a pause.

"Ah…"

Now what was he going to write? No. That wasn't the right question. The right question was what did most people sign their letters with? Juudai swam back into his mental rolodex and picked through some of his older memories which mostly consisted of cartoons and doodles of Duel Monsters. Now what? He thought a little longer before jotting a few words down. Just as he finished curling the loop to the last 'r', there was a pounding on the door.

"ANIKIII! Come down 'cause it's dinnertime-su!"

His eyes lit up in glee. That meant fried shrimp! Juudai quickly folded up the letter and shoved it into his pocket before leaping out of his chair with unexpected enthusiasm. He opened the door and flashed a grin at Shou who was waiting there for him. Together, they headed towards the Osiris cafeteria.

"Do you want to check out the astronomy tower later-su?"

"Astronomy tower?" Juudai repeated, surprised. "We have an astronomy tower on this island?"

"Well, Kabayama-sensei mentioned it today in class-su. Wait…you fell asleep again, didn't you?"

Juudai retaliated with an innocent look. "What? Huh? Of course I wasn't sleeping…"

"Oh, Aniki…" Shou sighed but smiled nonetheless. "So you want to go—wait. Darn, I almost forgot! I have to meet with Kenzan-kun! Never mind, you'll have to go there yourself-su."

He shook his head. "Nah, I'll wait for you. There's no fun without going with my best friends!"

"But Kenzan-kun and I have to eat dinner with Kabayama-sensei tonight," Shou protested. "We promised to visit once a week and he is our dorm master, after all. But that doesn't mean can't go with somebody else like, umm, Manjyome-kun!"

"Eh?"

"Yeah!" Shou nodded furiously. "He's still here. Just go with him instead. I don't want you to be lonely when both Kenzan-kun and I are out tonight!"

"I won't be lonely. Promise," Juudai reassured him with a grin. Not with Manjyome, at least.

"Well that's good. I'll tell you how to get to the astronomy tower. Go past the forest located on the eastern side of the campus and start climbing that rocky pathway that leads to the volcano. The only thing is that you have to take a left halfway up and you'll find yourself walking some stairs. Did you get all of that?"

"Umm…was Manjyome listening in class too?"

"Aniki!"

Juudai laughed. "I'll remember, I'll remember!"

"Mou, I sure hope so. Well…here we are." Juudai and Shou stopped at the front entrance of the cafeteria. "Well I gotta go, so bye now-su!"

"Catch you later!"

Shou waved at him and disappeared into darkness. Juudai watched the blue-haired boy leave and smiled before walking into the dining hall. Manjyome was sulking in the cafeteria at his usual table in the corner. His head snapped up as Juudai ran over to him and slowed down into a stop in front of his table.

"What."

Juudai beamed widely and shoved a piece of paper into his hand.

Manjyome blinked, bewildered by his impulsive action. "What do you—" he was cut off when Juudai placed a finger over his lips and shook his head frantically.

"Not here!" he whispered; the anxiety was thick in his voice. "Read it when you get back into your room!"

Manjyome regarded him with a wary look but slipped the note into his coat pocket. "You're such a weirdo," he commented tonelessly.

Juudai continued beaming, unaffected by his negative remark. "…hey, um, Manjyome?" he asked, looking nervous and excited all at once. "What did Kabayama-sensei assign us for homework? And um, you want to get some exercise or something? Maybe look at some stars or something?"

Both of them knew Juudai never asked about homework assignments, he hated exercising, and astronomy was the last thing on his list of interesting things to do during evenings. There was a hidden message between his words; Juudai flashed a grin at Manjyome in silent invitation and Manjyome glared at the brunette for a moment, comprehending his message. Then he set his chopsticks down and stood up. Manjyome turned a heel and took a few steps towards the door before looking over his shoulder in an indifferent sort of manner.

"You coming or not?"

Juudai was so utterly lost. The two of them were sitting on the second level inside the astronomy tower where a large portion of the roof was removed so that moonlight could enter though. It was the new moon so there was no moonlight on this particular night, but it was still wonderful to be sitting under the silky night sky, looking at a breathtaking view with no one else around. The scenery was gorgeous, the atmosphere was romantic, and Juudai couldn't have asked for a better chance to finally tell Manjyome his true feelings.

The only problem was Juudai didn't want to take this chance.

Perhaps it had to do with the fact he was still recovering from when Manjyome had fallen on top of him on their way to the astronomy tower. Juudai was walking in front of him when the spiky-haired boy tripped over a rock jutting out from the pathway and crashed into him just as he was about to turn around and point out that the tower was coming into sight. The outcome ended up with Manjyome lying on top of him, his face buried in Juudai's chest who was utterly dazed. Manjyome immediately leapt up and dusted himself off, looking haughtily in the other direction as if none of it ever happened. However, Juudai remained lying on the ground, wondering if the whole thing was some blissful dream until Manjyome screamed at him for being a 'lazy-ass dropout boy'.

That could have been the reason why Juudai didn't want to take the chance.

"So what's with this piece of crap, anyway?"

Or perhaps it had to do with the fact Juudai still wasn't sure how Manjyome would react to being told that his biggest rival was passionately in love with him. …yeah, that sounded just about right.

His head snapped up so quickly Juudai swore he heard his neck joints crack. Manjyome had taken out his letter and was carelessly toying with the folded paper between his fingers. Juudai's cheeks couldn't turn any redder if somebody smashed a tomato on his face. Why did Manjyome have to take that out now? Hadn't Juudai specifically informed him to read it once he was in his own room?

"Oh, umm…stuff." His eyebrows knitted together in worry. "Can you put that away?"

Manjyome looked as if he was about to punch the other boy for ordering him around but he slipped the letter back into his pocket much to Juudai's relief.

"There. I put it away," he grumbled. He looked at Juudai again. "Now tell me specifically what was in that piece of paper?"

Juudai wondered if the heavens were torturing him on purpose. Why couldn't Manjyome drop the subject already? He couldn't hold his gaze with Manjyome so he glanced to his left and shut close his eyes, vaguely hoping that the black-haired boy couldn't see his embarrassed facial expression.

"Err…I was just…uh…thinking about the new school year and things…yeah…and our previous duels…and…"

Juudai peeked at Manjyome through his lashes; he was looking unimpressed. Manjyome raised a thin brow in which Juudai opened both eyes and cast his gaze to his feet. This was so awkward and the conversation wasn't getting anywhere. He had to salvage this somehow. Out of the blue, his finger shot at the sky.

"…Shou said it would be beautiful but I don't see anything!" he protested, attempting to draw Manjyome's attention to another subject. "No stars, no nothing! All there is are some boring clouds in the sky! Where's the moon anyway?"

He grinned sheepishly at the other boy. Manjyome didn't return the smile. He crossed his arms and gave him a petulant glare.

"Is there something you need to tell me that I really don't want to know?" he demanded warily.

Yes, was the immediate answer in Juudai's mind. However, his mouth was glued shut. He grin grew wider and he closed his eyes, rubbing the back of his head in a sort of uncomfortable manner. "Uh…"

"Answer me," Manjyome snapped with a bite of impatience. He shot another glare at Juudai, making him draw back a bit. The brunette swallowed.

"…there's nothing I want to tell you," he finally lied.

Except that I'm madly in love with you and that I can't stop blushing every time you're around. Yeah, that's the truth. Deal with it. I didn't mean to fall for you, but then again, I didn't mean a lot of things to happen. I don't even know if I truly love you yet.

Juudai lost his smile.

You always tell me how much you hate me…and…I'm afraid you're not kidding around. I'm afraid you really do hate me. I don't want to spill my feelings to you if all you're going to do is to laugh in my face or get angry or even hurt me for loving you!

His frown grew wider.

You're also in love with Asuka and judging from that love duel, you were more serious about her than I have ever seen you in your life! So to benefit both of us, I think it's best if we just be friends and leave it at that. Yeah. That's the best solution, right? After all, I don't even know what real love is! I love dueling! Funny, isn't it?

It wasn't funny at all. It hurt. That speech of his even sounded stupid in his head; Juudai swore to never say any of those words out loud. Any of them. Juudai glanced at Manjyome again and flashed him another shaky grin, continuing his train of thought down a different path that didn't involve romance.

"…except that…um…we should duel sometime soon." He laughed unsteadily. "You know, just to test our skills and how much we've improved, heh…" Juudai trailed off.

The words 'love duel' flashed in his head and Juudai inwardly smacked himself. This was Fubuki's fault for planting the seeds of twisted romance in his head. Why did everything have to remind him of his feelings for Manjyome? He was just trying to get rid of it now! Juudai continued grinning too the point where his cheek muscles began to ache but he just couldn't let Manjyome see through his happy façade. It would cause too many complications and the truth was, neither of them was in any position to be distracted from their dueling. Dueling was the most important thing.

It was.

It was.

…or at least it was to the others.

Juudai didn't know what dueling meant to him anymore. But he did know one thing. He had to keep smiling. "Hehe. Well, what do you say, Manjyome?"

Manjyome eyed him distrustfully for a few moments. "First of all, it's –san, dropout boy," he stated waspishly, making Juudai flinched from his harsh tone. "Secondly…" Manjyome paused. He straightened out his trenchcoat and laid his back to the ground, his voice growing softer as he finished his sentence with, "…yeah, I guess we should duel sometime." There was another pause. "Thirdly, tonight's the new moon," he grunted. "You're not supposed to see anything during the new moon."

Relief filled his heart. So Manjyome wasn't angry after all. Now what did he say about the new moon? Hearing this piece of information intrigued Juudai. He momentarily forgot about his romantic troubles and glanced at the youngest of the Manjyome group curiously. "A new moon? What happened to the old moon?" he asked blankly.

Under normal circumstances, Manjyome would have shot a nasty glare at Juudai and called him an imbecile for asking such a stupid question. But this time, he merely let it slide. "It died and was reborn from the depths of hell," he answered quietly. "The new moon symbols rebirth."

He placed his arms behind his head.

"A new beginning."

Both eyes closed.

"A new chance at beating you."

Manjyome rolled over so that his back was facing the other boy. Because of this, Manjyome didn't see his facial expression half-shadowed with darkness, the remaining half unearthing only sadness as Juudai's gaze locked on the endless sky. The words echoed forlornly in his head. He would have never even written a letter to Manjyome if he knew this would have happened.

…he really does hate me. Is that all I am to him? Another stepping stone?

"Manjyome," he spoke suddenly. "Do you only see me as…?"

Manjyome cracked open an eye.

"…as what? An annoying loser who wins his duels by pure luck?" he asked with a snort, not bothering to turn over. "Yeah, I do."

Juudai said nothing.

Maybe it was because he didn't know how to handle this situation or maybe it was because his brain stopped functioning after processing the meaning to those cold words. But whatever it was, it served to disquiet Manjyome. Juudai never did well when he used his brain too much—just look what happened to him during the graduation duel with Kaiser Ryou. The spiky-haired boy glanced at Juudai out of the corner of his eye.

"…hey, are you alrig—?"

Words ceased to come out of his mouth as Juudai suddenly climbed on top of him. Two slender fingers grasped his chin. His face was tilted upwards to be greeted with a pair of glassy brown eyes that unnerved Manjyome and shook him to the bone. Juudai's eyes held some warped, undefined emotion that merely didn't suit him. Neither of the two boys spoke for a few seconds. Manjyome's heart hammered loudly in his chest and his breathing grew shallower. What was he feeling? Why was he feeling this way? Juudai's unexpected stroke of daringness seemed to somehow excite him, yet Manjyome didn't like this feeling.

It was foreign to him. It somewhat…disgusted him. He felt weak and submissive the way Juudai was pinning him to the ground…

It was when a thumb began to trace over his lower lip that Manjyome finally snapped out of his trance.

"What are you doing?" he demanded furiously. "Get off me!"

Juudai didn't reply nor did he let go. Instead, with that same glazed look in his eyes, he leaned down and filled the gap between their faces until their noses touched each other and their lips were inches apart…

…their lips…

Gods no.

Whatever common sense remained disappeared instantly as raw instinct took over. With a sharp jerk of his head, Manjyome wretched himself out of the other boy's grasp before their mouths joined. His hands grabbed both sides of Juudai's jacket collar and Manjyome yanked him forward to thrust his knee into his stomach. A few drops of spit came out of his mouth. Manjyome took this chance push him off and leap to his feet; he threw out his leg and kicked the other boy squarely in the side, making Juudai tumble over from the impact. This seemed to bring Juudai to his wits and he gasped, attempting to rise from the ground.

"…s…stop! I didn't know what overcame me! I didn't mean to—!"

Juudai cried out in pain as a foot came crashing down on his ribcage and forced him back against the cement floor. Onyx eyes narrowed into tiny slits and Manjyome bore his teeth viciously.

"The hell you didn't! I know what you just tried to do—you tried to kiss me, that's what! What's wrong with you?"

Manjyome applied more pressure onto his chest, forcing the breath out of him once again. Juudai felt as if his bones were about to shatter and his ribcage about to burst open. Brown pupils dilated and he felt whatever remaining breath was in his lungs dissipate.

"I s-swear I didn't—!"

But Manjyome would hear nothing of it. He lifted his foot off his chest, allowing Juudai a few precious milliseconds of air before seizing him by the front of his shirt and hauling him up into an upright position.

"DON'T LIE!" he roared into his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Juudai shook his head from side to side in a feeble manner that served to spark a flame of anger within Manjyome. The back of his hand whipped across Juudai's face; it would surely leave a bruise tomorrow. Still no reply. Another kick to the stomach. Another punch in the face. Manjyome continued beating him down until every blood vessel in his body had broken open even though his skin hadn't been penetrated once. But despite all of this, Juudai didn't make a single sound. Growling viciously, Manjyome hauled him higher into the air until…until…

…their faces were mere centimeters apart. Their mouths were so close to touching that the brunette could almost feel soft velvety lips brush against his own…just like a few minutes ago. The only difference was that Manjyome was the dominant one—though he was completely unaware to the irony of his actions.

"Now, for the last time," he stated in a deadly low voice. "Why did you try to kiss me? Were you trying to prove that you were better than me? That you were stronger? That you were superior? What is it? Huh, huh?"

Juudai could barely keep his eyes open, let alone answer. Every part of his body ached. He half-opened a single eyelid. "M…Manjyome…" was all he could utter.

For a second, white hot anger licked his insides, thrashing within him, just wanting to lash out—until Manjyome saw his eyes. The pure vulnerability in Juudai's normally cheerful eyes opened his own eyes to the truth. He had taken it too far. Suddenly, it seemed all so wrong. He shouldn't have beaten Juudai to this degree…it was immoral…shameful to brutally crush somebody as innocent as Juudai like this. Juudai didn't really mean to really kiss him…Juudai didn't really love him or anything like that. How silly it was of him to think that somebody as naive as Juudai even knew how to love in the first place. All of it had just been an accident…but Manjyome had completely gone over the edge…he suddenly felt immensely guilty…

"…d-don't do this. I…"

What? Was Juudai speaking again? Wait. Why was he…why was he smiling?

"…I…love you, Manjyome."

There. I've spilled my heart out at last.

The broken smile on Juudai's face didn't last for long. Manjyome curled up a fist and lodged it in his stomach. His grinning face confronted with inexplicable pain and he crumpled wordlessly to the ground. Manjyome stood silently over him for a few moments before turning around and striding out of the lighthouse in a flash of black.

"It's –san da."