This fic is written for Beany, because she's like, an awesome friend, and she was my 700th reviewer for Wonderland.
And this was inspired by my boyfriend, teehee.
"…"
He stared at her, vaguely comprehending what she was saying.
He thought she said something about… well he wasn't sure. He must have misheard. Dost thou ears deceives thee?
"Humm, Sakura-chan," he hummed, blinking in bewilderment into just as confused emerald eyes. She tilted her head at him. "Repeat, please. I misheard."
She smiled and giggled. "Silly, Syao-kun. I said we're going to practice celibacy."
"…"
He stuck a finger into his right ear, digging into it as if searching for imaginary ear wax. There was none. His ears were clear.
So why did he keep thinking he was hearing Sakura say celibacy?
"Erm. I think I misheard you again."
She quirked an incredulous brow. "What do you think I'm saying?"
"Aa. Celibacy. I keep thinking you are saying that we should practice celibacy."
She smiled brightly. "But I did say that! It's a brilliant idea, no? I mean, I know we started doing it, but I think we should wait until marriage, if we ever do get married…"
He tuned her out completely.
He was doomed.
Doomed. Doomed. Doomed.
Li Syaoran was doomed, and already he could feel the darkness creeping ever so closer around him, circling him, cornering him, leaving him with no where to run, no where to hide…
Might as well castrate him now and get it over with.
That's what it was like, being told you were going to fall into the practice of 'celibacy.'
Celibacy.
Celibacy.
CELIBACY.
Celibacy.
Cel-i-ba-cy.
He screamed.
Or well, the little Syaoran deep in his heart screamed; the little Syaoran that was deeply scarred and horrified by what his dear, sweet, Sakura-chan had uttered; that lone dreadful word that had completely shattered his world…
Sakura was blissfully ignorant of the ever so impending doom looming over the white-faced Syaoran. His expression was blank, although his face had gone a very…wallpaper-white. Sakura looked at him worriedly. "Ne, you okay, Syaoran-kun?"
"…yes," he said in a small voice.
"Okay!" Kinomoto Sakura smiled brilliantly at him before skipping off to do who knows what.
Syaoran continued to stand there for a really long time.
A really, really long time.
A really, really, really long time.
A really, really, really, really long time…
Before he turned around and walked off, stiff and zombie-like.
Day #1:
"Morning, Syao-kun!" Sakura chirped happily as she barged into their bedroom. They were in university, sharing an apartment together.
She failed to notice the dark and gloomy atmosphere that had engulfed their bedroom.
He mumbled incoherent words, which sounded more like grunts.
"Hn. Hm. Argh. Ergh. Arkjgdkajkg."
Translation: It's. Too. Early. Leave. LetmesleepIhaven'thadsexIneedmoresleep.
Of course, Sakura didn't know that.
"Breakfast is ready…!" She chimed, ripping the curtains open and shining the bright light of morning into their room, effectively driving away the gloomy atmosphere, but failing to get rid of the dark cloud looming around and over Syaoran.
He pulled a pillow over his head.
Day #3:
"Man, what's crawled up your ass?"
He growled at his cousin.
He growled.
Li Meiling stared at him incredulously. "Dude. It's like you haven't gotten laid in a while or something…"
His expression turned sour and he looked away.
"…" A dawning look of realization melted on her face before the black-haired woman instantly burst out laughing. "Oh my god! You haven't gotten laid in a while, have you?!!"
Syaoran snarled at her and hissed vehemently. "Shut the hell up, Meiling! It's none of your business!"
"Hahahahahaha… man…" she wiped tears from her eyes and patted her cousin sympathetically on the back. She shook her head, unable to stop chuckling. "…Man. Just… hahahaha… I feel bad for you."
He sniffed indignantly. "I don't need your sympathy."
"Of course not."
She went back to snickering.
Day #7:
"…Seriously, Syaoran, what crawled up your a—" Yamazaki started to ask.
"Nothing crawled up my ass, okay? So stop asking me!" Syaoran exploded.
Yamazaki pouted. "Geez. I was just askin'… No need to get your undies in a bundle…"
Syaoran let out a strangled yell and proceeded to choke the living daylights out of Yamazaki.
Day #8:
"Sakura-chan, we're worried… about Syaoran," Tomoyo said. "He's been… very violent lately, and… aggressive."
Sakura creased her brows. "Yeah, I noticed that, too. But I honestly don't know what the problem is…"
"But it's obvious, Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo instantly brightened up, smiling ever so prettily at her best friend. "Syaoran needs sex!"
Sakura laughed. "But I already talked to Syaoran about that. We both agreed that celibacy was the best way to go!"
"Are you sure?" Tomoyo asked, looking doubtful.
Sakura nodded confidently. "Yeah!"
Day # -- Well, same day, just later on in the night.
"Sa-ku-raaa…"
She felt nervous, and a chill raked through her bones when hearing him murmur her name in the darkness of their room. Sakura had gone to bed early while Syaoran lingered in the living room. She had just started to drift off to sleep when she heard the bedroom door open and…
"Sakura…"
"H-hai, Syaoran?" Sakura asked, staring wide-eyed and nervously at the shadow of her boyfriend moving ever so closer to the bed. As soon as he was close enough, close enough that the light of the moon illuminated his features, fear gripped her heart.
He looked positively frightening what-with that dark look in those brightly lit golden-flecked amber eyes of his. There was something dangerous about the way he was looking at her.
Something frightening.
Something bone-chilling.
Something… exciting and still scary.
She shivered.
For some reason she felt like a sheep, and Syaoran the wolf; the predator, and she his prey.
"We are going to have sex, Sakura-chan," he said lowly, simply, casually, huskily.
And he pounced.
She 'eep'ed, vaguely thinking that maybe approaching Syaoran about celibacy wasn't a good idea after all.
Owari.