It was breakfast time at the Venturi-McDonald home and everyone was seated around the kitchen table each eating his or her favourite breakfast food. Casey, Lizzie and Nora all had toast and eggs, which is what they were accustomed to having in the morning when it was just the three of them. The Venturis on the other hand had a wide variety of breakfast foods. George was chomping away on a leftover piece of pizza from the night before; Derek was gobbling up the last of the Lucky Charms; Edwin, who'd wanted the Lucky Charms but wasn't quick enough to grab them from Derek, was eating Cheerios; and Marti, who still insisted on eating under the table like an animal, was licking up a bowl full of Chocolate Puffs.

"How do you guys live like this?" Casey exclaimed, breaking the silence.

"Like what?" George said, picking an undesired piece of pepperoni off his cold pizza.

"You're like cavemen, only worse."

"Oh, yeah?" Derek shot back. "And how are us Venturis worse than cavemen?"

"Because at least cavemen knew what was healthy for them," Casey explained. "All the sugar in that cereal is going to give you at least a few cavities, if not take years off your life."

"The less time I have to spend with you," Derek said, shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth, "the better."

"Ew! Gross, Derek!" Casey shouted as milk dribbled out of Derek's mouth as he spoke. "Haven't you ever heard the expression 'don't talk with your mouth full'?"

"Ever heard the expression 'don't care?"

"Now, stop it, you two," Nora ordered. "Can't we have just one civil breakfast together free of all this frivolously fighting?"

"I'm all for it," George agreed before taking another bite of his pizza.

"And, George, would you please stop eating last night leftovers for breakfast. It's just not healthy."

"What?" George said, his mouth full with his previous bite.

"Now I see where Derek gets it from," Casey said, noticing that George had just spoken with his mouth full like Derek had earlier. "It's genetic."

"Why don't we try a friendly little exercise?" Nora suggested.

"Like what?" Edwin asked.

"Don't encourage her," Derek scolded his younger brother.

"I heard that, Derek," Nora said. "So for this exercise, I want each of us to go around the table and say something nice about a member of the opposite family, all right?"

"And why should we have to do this?" Derek asked.

"Yeah," Casey agreed. "Why should I have to say something nice about someone I don't even like?"

"You don't have to say something nice about Derek, Casey. You can say something nice about George or Edwin… or Marti even."

"What nice thing can I say about Marti?" Casey wondered a moment before her foot was drenched in milk and cereal. "Marti," Casey began slowly, "did you just pour your cereal on my foot?"

"Ha!" Derek laughed. "Good one, Marti!"

"Ugh," Casey groaned. "You steps are so behind on the evolutionary scale. Me, Mom and Lizzie are at homosapian; you, Edwin, Marti and even George—"

"Hey!" George cried in protest.

"Are at chimp," Casey said, finishing her sentence.

"That's enough, Casey," Nora said, quieting her daughter. "George, why don't you start by saying something nice about one of us McDonalds?" Nora suggested.

"I've got a whole list on you, honey," George answered. "But most of them I can't say in front of the kids."

"Why don't you say something nice about Casey then?"

"You mean the girl that just called me a chimp?"

"Just do it, George," Nora said firmly.

"All right," George agreed. "Casey, you… you have lovely hair."

"Are you kidding?" Casey shouted. "I haven't even washed it this morning. It's a mess! No wonder this place is a pigsty, you Venturis don't know the difference between clean and dirty!"

"Okay, Nora, why did I need to hear that little rant?" George asked.

"Casey, your stepfather just gave you a compliment," Nora said. "Why don't you give him one back?"

"Why?"

"Because that's the point of this exercise."

"Fine," Casey grumbled. "George… it's possible that Derek inherited his annoying hyjinx genes from his mother. Not terribly likely, but possible."

"Casey, how does that seem like a compliment to you?" Nora questioned.

"It's the best you're going to get out of me," Casey shot back.

"Derek, why don't you give it a shot?"

"Okay, who would like me to compliment first?"

"You can decide," Nora said. "You can give a compliment to me, Lizzie or Casey."

"I choose you, Nora," Derek said.

Nora put her hand on her chest, flattered to be receiving a compliment from her stepson. "Really?"

"Yeah," Derek said with a smile. "You have great taste in magazines."

"Oh," Nora said, slightly surprised by the comment. "Why is that, Derek?"

"Derek, what have I told you about that?" George scolded.

"Hey, she asked for a compliment, I gave her one," Derek said, getting back to his breakfast.

"That wasn't a compliment as much as it was a sleazy confession," George said.

"Would you care to explain to me what's going on?" Nora asked her husband.

"Derek's been looking at your magazine collection when you're not around," George explained.

"Well, I'm glad you've come to appreciate my reading material," Nora said to Derek.

Casey laughed, catching onto what George was talking about. "Mom, don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"He's reading your lady magazines," Casey clarified.

"What?" Nora said, surprised. "Why would you be interested in those?"

"He's checking out the half-naked women in them, duh!" Casey said.

"Derek…" Nora said warningly, ready to dish out punishment.

At that moment the doorbell rang.

"Well, whadayaknow," Derek said hopping out of his seat and heading for the door. "Saved by the bell." As Derek opened the door, he made a starting discovery.

There, on the Venturi's front porch, was a baby basinet, complete with baby.

"Who is it?" George called.

"No one," Derek called back. He slowly reached into the basinet, careful not to wake the baby, and pulled out the note.

It read:

Dear Derek,

Hope you enjoy your son.

"Derek," Casey said as she came to the door, "what's with the baby?"

Derek handed Casey the note. "Apparently he's mine."

"Mom! George!" Casey shouted as she finished the note and headed back to the kitchen. "I think we've got a problem on our hands!"

Hearing the shouting, the baby quickly awoke, crying and screaming as babies usually do.

"Oh, yeah," Derek muttered to himself. "We've got a big problem on our hands."