PWP: Plot, What Plot?

WARNING: This fic has no plot. Beware of the AUness, OOCness, and the fact that this is a CRACKFIC! –gasp- Oh me oh my.

Even with these warnings, I doubt you'll truly be able to appreciate this until you read the obscenely long A/N at the bottom, so if you want you can read that first...otherwise, prepare for confusion :D Yay confusion!

Cosplay

"I think it suits you, really."

Glare.

"I mean, I certainly wouldn't be able to pull this off. I'm not tall enough. But on you, wow, it looks great. Freaking great."

Double glare.

"Seriously, dude. Would I lie to you?"

Triple glare.

"Aw c'mon, it can't be THAT bad. I bet a lot of people will ask for your picture. I doubt anyone else is going to have the same costume."

Eyebrow twitch.

Cloud raised an eyebrow, finally noticing the evil look Sephiroth was giving the mirror. He frowned, scratching his abnormally spiky hair in confusion.

"What's the matter? You said I could get you the costume."

Sephiroth turned to Cloud, the deadly look in his eyes intensified. "I did not mean anything like THIS, you IMBECILE!" Grrr. He wanted to go and kill some unsuspecting pedestrian. Where the hell was his masasume?

Seeing the murderous glare his frenemy was possessing, Cloud whistled and nonchalantly kicked the handle of a certain extremely large sword back under the bed. "Seriously dude, you look...good."

"CLOUD."

Squeak. "...Yeah?"

"When I said I wanted to cosplay as something unusual, I did NOT mean you should go out AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE AN INCOMPETENT FOOL!"

"But Seph—"

"YOU IDIOT!"

"Sephyyyy..."

"DIE!"

Out of nowhere, the 'One Winged Angel' remix started playing. With a roar, Sephiroth spun on his heel and launched towards Cloud's throat, intending to cut off the blonde's air supply until he GOT RID OF THE DAMN COSTUME. But alas, fate was not so kind to dear hot Sephiroth. His costume caught on the edge of the bed, rendering him helpless as he started to fall, flailing his arms wildly. He landed on the floor with a nice-sounding thunk.

The music stopped playing. Cloud stepped out of the way, staring down at the silver-haired madman with his mouth hanging open. After a moment, though, he attempted to muffle his outburst of laughter with a gloved hand.

"Cloud..."

"Heh, heh, heh…"

"CLOUD..."

"Tehehehe..."

"CLOUD STRIFE!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Attempt failed.

The door suddenly opened, unknown to the poor, floor-ridden Sephy and the guffawing Cloud. Riku and Sora entered the room, each raising an eyebrow at the scene, glancing at each other, and looking back at the two, shaking their heads.

"And I thought my costume was bad," Riku muttered.

"Hey!" Sora complained. "I made our costumes, remember?"

"Yeah, I know."

Glare. "But still, it can't be worse than Seph's. Nope, nope."

"At least he's not wearing these damn short-shorts."

"Aw c'mon, you know you like them." Sora blew Riku a raspberry.

The older boy grinned. "Maybe."

Meanwhile, Cloud had finally noticed the two newcomers and was still laughing his ass off. "Hey-" Snicker. "—guys—" Laugh. "—do you like...hahaha…Sephiroth's costume?" Obnoxiously loud guffaw. "I think he'll...HAHAHAHAHA...be quite a hit at the...hehehehe...convention, don't you think?"

Riku cleared his throat. "Uh, sure, Cloud. He'll win the costume contest fo' sho'. He's very, uh...appealing."

Sora shook his head, his head propped up in one of his hands. "Where'd you hide that abnormally large sword of his?"

"Under the bed," Cloud grinned. "He'll never find it, much less fit under there. Heh, heh, heh."

"CLOUD! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?"

Cloud narrowed his eyes at the poor, costume-clad crazy man. "YOU KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND, BIATCH!"

"BESIDES THAT! And I thought she was alive in this universe anyway!"

"...THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT! YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THAT COSTUME AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!"

"NO! GET ME OUT OF THIS BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO SWISS CHEESE!"

"SWISS CHEESE AND BANANAS DON'T GO TOGETHER, STUPID!"

Sephiroth continued to roar and wail around on the floor until finally, an hour later, the four cosplayers managed to get to the convention without chopping one another's heads off--well, only because Sephy still couldn't find his masasume. Poor, poor bad guy.

And just about everyone there had a picture with Sephiroth, cosplaying as one of the Bananas in Pajamas.

--

Uhhh...-cough- Okay, there IS an explanation for this!

A few days ago I was watching this show called 'GameShow Marathon' on CBS...from what I could gather, it's kind of a remake on older, kickass game shows. On this particular episode I was watching, they had a few celebrity guests, and one of them was Lance Bass—as you may or may not know, he did the voice of Sephiroth in first Kingdom Hearts. For whatever reason, people in the audience were wearing costumes, and Lance Bass was dressed a freakishly large banana.

Of course since my mind is weird like that, I instantly pictured dear ol' Sephy in that banana suit. But wouldn't it be better if it was BANANA IN PAJAMAS :D Of course it is.

And honestly, I have no idea what the rest of them are supposed to be wearing, but with Riku and Sora wearing short shorts, I'll let you use your imagination.