A/N: Hello everyone! I have finally had time to really work on some of my unfinished stories. Shattered is almost completely done, so I figured it was safe to start posting the new chapters in place of the old ones. I thought about just deleting the first story and posting this new one again, but I didn't know how that would affect the alerts for anyone who read the old one and might like to read this one, too. It's basically the same plot and characters; I just have some better direction for getting to the conclusion now. I'll post the first six chapters today and probably the rest within this week. Thank you!
"Why? What happened to us? What would make you do something like this, Jack?"
"Sam…the job-" He tried.
"No, Jack. We both know this wasn't about the job. I want a real answer." Sam searched his eyes for a hidden sign and waited for him to say something. By now she wasn't really sure she could take his answer, but knew nothing could be solved until he told her. So, she geared up and held her emotions at bay.
But, his lips stayed sealed. Eventually, Jack had to break eye contact with his wife for shame.
She couldn't last much longer, she had to get away from him, "Fine, don't talk to me like an adult. Just go." Sam turned to walk away, but his strong fingers around her arm halted her retreat.
"Please, Sam." She could hear the desperation in his voice. She didn't need to turn around to know his eyes would be just as imploring. Her shoulders slumped in indecision, and as much as it confused her, all she wanted in that split second was to forgive him. But as soon as she did look at his face, all she could remember was his betrayal. No, she wasn't ready to deal with him yet. Sam started to retreat, but she was still restrained by the clasp he had on her arm.
She felt physically sick at his touch. "Get off me," her voice was dangerously low, "and pack your things." He didn't move, so she shook off his hand.
"Jack, this isn't a game. You can't just stand there and ask me to let you stay when you won't tell me what's going on. This is our marriage we're talking about." Sam had to take a few deep breathes. She needed to remain calm or she would either cry or shout; she wasn't sure which.
Jack's voice was gentle, yet she could tell he was frustrated. Whether with himself or her, she did not know, "I understand that, Sam, but there's a lot I can't tell you."
This made her anger flare, "Oh, of course. The Great Jack O'Neill who has a problem opening up to anyone emotionally," she saw him flinch at her biting tone, but was too upset to care, "Sorry for thinking that after my husband of seven years goes off and…" she couldn't say the words, "…does something like this, he would give me some kind of explanation."
His teeth were clenched, "I already told you; I can't."
"Stop bull-shitting me, Jack. I'm your wife for goodness sake. If you won't be straight with me, then maybe I should just ask her?" she threatened.
His voice tightened, "Leave her out of this, Sam. It was my mistake; can't we leave it at that?"
"No, we can't, Jack. I deserve answers, and if you won't give them to me then just go get your things together and get out of this house." She turned her back on him and went to the kitchen.
With shaking hands, she lifted a glass of water to her lips. Could she handle this? Sure, Samantha O'Neill could blow up a sun and build a nequada reactor in no time at all, but family problems had never been her strong suit. 'No,' she corrected herself; 'your life has never been your strong suit.'
Sam heard whispers in the hallway and set her glass on the counter. She peered around the kitchen wall into the hall. Jack was hugging their daughter tightly. Sam's heart swelled as she listened to their conversation.
"Daddy, I love you," the little voice was so soft that Sam's ears had to strain to hear it.
His hand stroked her blonde curls, "I love you, too, sweetheart. To Thor's Planet and back."
Emily pulled back to see Jack's sad face, "Are you going away, Daddy?"
Jack looked surprised, "Why would you ask that?"
Sam's heart sank at the answer as Emma studied her feet shyly, "I heard Mommy saying for you to go away. It's not true, right? You won't leave me, will you Daddy?" Emily's hopeful blue orbs were round as she gazed up at him.
He knelt down and put his hands on her tiny shoulders. He opened his mouth several times in the attempt to say something, but nothing would come. After a few deep breaths, he began, "I'm not leaving you, Ems. I just can't be at the house for a while."
"Is this like when you have to go on missions with Uncle Teal'c and Uncle Danny?"
"Not really, honey. I'll still be around to hang out with you; I'm just not living with you and Mommy right now."
It occurred to Sam that she should be having this conversation with them, but Emily's next words made her glad she wasn't. "Did I do something bad, Daddy?"
"Of course not, Ems. How could my sweet pea ever do something wrong? She's perfect," Sam could see Jack lifting Emily's chin and giving her a little tickle. The smile Emily spread was like gold to Sam.
Emily's features grew thoughtful, and then suspicious. She pulled away from Jack completely. She erected herself as tall as a six-year-old could with folded arms, and tapped her foot, "It's Mommy, isn't it? She's why you won't stay!" she accused.
Sam saw Jack pause and knew that would be answer enough to their daughter's question.
Before Jack could formulate a denying answer, Sam came out from the kitchen. "Come on, Emily. Let's let your dad pack up. Would you like to take the dog on a walk?"
Emily's little features scrunched up angrily and she ran to hang on Jack's arm, "I won't go anywhere with you. You're making Daddy go away. I hate you!"
Jack was quick to come to his wife's defense and chided gently but sternly, "Emily, don't talk to your mother that way." Emily lowered her head and hung onto his arm tighter. Satisfied that she was quieted down, he looked up to see Sam frozen, "I didn't tell her that, Sam, I swear."
"I know," she said softly. She swallowed back the lump in her throat and turned back to the kitchen.
Jack kneeled in the hallway a few seconds longer, confused by Sam's actions. Then, he sent Emily to her room and followed his wife's path into the kitchen.
She was standing in front of the window and her body quivered. Without a word, he laid his hands on her shoulders and turned her into his embrace. She didn't fight him at first, but then she remembered who had caused all this to begin with, and she pushed him away.
She glared up at him with tired, but defiant eyes, "You've ripped our family apart, Jack. Just do something good for once and leave quietly, okay?"
Stunned by how true her words rung, he took a step back. After only a moment's pause, he retreated to their bedroom and concentrated on gathering personal items into an old suitcase. He was surprised to see Sam leaning against the doorframe when he looked up. He felt her watching him, but he didn't have any idea as to why.
"I'll get the rest later," he gestured to the clothes that still hung in his closet.
She nodded and moved aside so he could pass into the hallway. She followed Jack to the front door and was shocked to see Emily already waiting, Barbie suitcase in hand. The little girl's face was tear-streaked, but determined.
Before Sam or Jack could utter a word, Emily spoke, "I'm coming with you, Daddy."
Jack once again knelt to her level, "Ems, I wish I could take you with me, sweetie. But I can't."
Emily was not fazed in the least by his statement; she simply yanked on his hand until he stood up and then pulled him to the door. "Daddy, say good-bye to Mommy; we're leaving now."
Jack could see the fire in his child's eyes that was so like her mother.
Sam intercepted her daughter's hand on the doorknob. "Emily, that's enough. Go to your room."
Emily harshly ripped her hand out of Sam's. "I won't! I want Daddy, not you!"
Jack could see that Sam was deeply wounded by their daughter's rejection by the watery film covering her eyes, but could tell that her anger was winning out. Unfortunately for Jack, that fury was directed at him.
"Emily O'Neill, I will not listen to this. If you're so confident that your father is innocent, why don't you just ask him why exactly it is that he's leaving!" The second the words flew from her mouth, Sam regretted them.
Emily's little brows knitted together as she looked upon her father's face. "Daddy?"
Jack was mad now as well. His hard gaze bore into his wife. They'd had a silent agreement to exclude Emily from their marriage problems. His tone was low and dangerous, "Emily, come give me a hug and then go to your room. I'll talk to you later." His face remained glued to Sam's.
Emily quickly obeyed and scampered away. She was not going to mess with two angry parents.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Jack went off, "Why did you do that? We had an agreement."
Sam pitched her voice higher than his, "Why did you do what you did?" she shot back.
"I can't tell you!" His hand shot through his silver hair in frustration.
"You disgust me on so many levels, O'Niell." She turned her back on him and started to unlock the door to show him out.
Before her fingers touched the lock, he had his hands on her shoulders, spinning her roughly to face him, "Don't throw my name at me like it isn't yours now, too."
She struggled to free herself from his grasp, "Maybe if I had been smarter and listened to Pete when he told me you were a loose cannon, it wouldn't be!"
Instinctively, his grip on her grew to be steel-like as he got worked up, "Oh, so this is what it comes down to. I knew you could never get over leaving 'The Wonder-Cop' for a loser like me, right? I should have seen this coming. Well, you know what, Sam? I don't care what you do with your life. Run back to him if you want, but I will not let that creep near Emily!" He was shaking her now.
Sam saw the blind rage in his face and suddenly knew why he had been in Special Ops all those years. He could separate himself and his emotions from his actions at the drop of a hat and she believed that was what he was doing now. She desperately tried to reach him, "Jack, you're being irrational. Stop it!" Her upper arms hurt and this was not helping emotions at all.
This seemed to get to him and he abruptly broke all contact with her. Sam was unprepared for his unexpected release and she had to fight to regain her balance.
Jack took the handle of his suitcase and stormed out the big white door. Sam took a seat in the dining room adjacent to the entryway and recovered from the blow-out. She lifted her short shirtsleeves and winced at the red fingerprints he had left. The bastard had left before she had had a chance to scream at him back, and this bothered her more than anything. She knew that she would only be able to rid herself of this kind of anger by hurting something, and since her only chance at release had just left, she stewed in frustration.
She felt unfulfilled, and worst of all, she was the cause of it. She had been the one to tell him to go and now she was upset because he'd honored that request. Sam stared down at the crystal vase in front of her on the oak table. The beautiful pink tulips the crystal contained had caught her eye.
She considered the vase as she fingered the intricate patterns within its structure. It had been a wedding present from Jack's sister. Sam gently laid the tulips on the deep rich wood of the dining room table.
Then, she calmly walked into the entryway, vase in hand, and hurled it at the front door. There was an ear-splitting crash as crystal met oak. She saw the vase shatter and the broken pieces fall to the floor. Satisfied, Sam smiled, brushed her hands of the business, and turned to tuck Emily into bed. She understood that her daughter would probably still be fuming in her room, but Sam now felt more equipped to handle the child with most of her negative feelings out.