UBERFASTUPDATESEQUENCE GOOOOO~!

Oh yeah, if you're reading this, hey Nikou! (spazzs) I swear to Ra this isn't pr0n. To RA. Yeah man, that's how serious I am.

Dedicated to neko-yokai-mimi for having an awesome display message. It's lyke TTLY awesome.

Don't forget to vote! (Points everyone to profile button) Still looking for a beta, by the way. :)

MERRY KRISKWANHANUWINTABREAKMAS!

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Last time, on Your Mom…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Today, on Your Mom…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Gasping for air, Naruto struggled to contain his shock. "S-sakura? Is that…you?!"

Flashing a cocky grin, the new and "improved" Sakura flashed the blonde a cocky grin.

"Bien sur baby!"

"Oh Gawd." Naruto turned away, struggling to hold the vomit.

Sasuke looked over the newcomer suspiciously. "So your name's Sakura? How does Naruto know you?"

"Huh? Sasuke it's me-" Wait. Inwardly, Sakura contemplated her current situation. Sasuke had never made it a secret that he hated her guts. Maybe not being herself would benefit. "Erm, yeah, but Naruto-kun pronounces it wrong. My name's actually…Sakuro! Yeah, that's it! I'm his long-lost 9000 percent male cousin!"

Getting up, Naruto looked quizzically at 'Sakuro.' "What the deuce are you talking about, Sakur-OW!" Howling, the ninja glared at the supposed male. "I mean, Sakuro…"

"Got that right!" she laughed nervously. "I came round here looking for him to spar and stuff!"

"All right." the Uchiha shrugged. "Hey, you seemed to be pretty good at those disses. What were they called again?"

"Your dad."

"Excuse me?!"

"Erm, that's the diss."

"Ah." he contemplated. "But where's the yo momma part?"

"That's the thing," pointed out Sakura. "'Your dad' replaces 'your mom' in my disses."

"…I don't get it."

"Okay let's see…you know how you would say 'Your mom's so stupid she studied for a dope test?'"

"Go on…"

"Well then, I'd say instead that, 'Your dad's so stupid he studied for a dope test!'"

"But," Sasuke scrunched his face. "Where's the yo momma part?"

"Ummm, there is none."

"…I still don't get it."

Sighing, Naruto leaned back. Sasuke had always been a slow learner. (Not ninja-wise, of course.) This might take a while…

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"All of these dead bodies are starting to smell! Oi teme!" Sasuke looked up from his lesson with the tired Sakuro. "Help me kick your brother until he decomposes!"

"Wait a minute! So you're saying," he asked Sakura, "that instead of 'your mom' I could say 'your dad'?"

Yes!" she brightened. "You finally got it! And it's only been," she glanced at her watch. "Fourteen hours!"

The Sharingan user swelled with pride. "I know, eh! Last time it took me twenty five to figure out mixed fractions." He stood up, and walked over to Naruto and Itachi's body.

The blonde wiped sweat off of his forehead. "Teme, this isn't really working. Do you think we should bury these guys?"

"Where? If you haven't noticed, we've been inexplicably stuck here since chapter 13! At least, I have."

"We should cover them!" Naruto shuddered. "It's creepy, the way these bodies just…lie here."

"All right, all right." Sasuke headed out the door. "I'm gonna find some blankets or something. You two stay here and guard the bodies."

Naruto rolled his eyes."Heh, we're in a haunted mansion that retarded crime organizations seem to frequent. What are the chances that someone'll come here looking to steal cloaked carcasses?"

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"Group 2!" barked the mysterious leader. "I'm in the mood for cloaked carcasses!"

"Sorry sir," replied a random mysterious messenger, "we've lost all contact with Group 2."

"Oh really? That sucks. All right, assign Group 3 of my mysteriously hooded people! And make sure to tell them…MYSTERIOUSLY!"

"…I'll try my best sir."

"With lots of mysterious hand actions," added the superior, "and make sure that you speak in a really mysterious voice."

"…Of course, sir."

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As the raven-haired teen wandered aimlessly around the hallways, he began to angst for the second chapter in a row. He hadn't taken a shower in five weeks! Seriously, he smelled like if poo and plaque could have babies! Also, his fart-constipation was doing serious damage to his self-esteem. And his awesome hair! His luscious locks were now tattered and gleamless. Hmm, that pink-headed guy from before had pretty nice hair. Maybe he could help out…

"Hey Booty-chan!"

"Hmm?"

Turning around, the brunette came face-to-face with a grinning male.

"Whoops, mah bad. Hey Booty-chan's bro! I dub thee Mini-Booty!"

"…What?"

"So, saved the blondilicious kitsune yet?"

"Kitsune? You mean Naruto? Yeah." His eyes narrowed. "Why? And who are you? Are you with those cloaked guys who think they're oh-so mysterious?"

"Never mind your questions," waved of the ex-ANBU. "Tell me where Naru-chan is!"

"Umm, how should I say thi- NO."

"You leave no choice, cutie." Nekole came closer to the teen. "Cutie?!" sputtered the Uchiha. "Oh, you goin' down! Your momma's so short she jumped in a puddle and drowned!"

"(sigh) Just like your brother…" the burger flipper smirked. "Yo momma's so stupid when she hears thunder, she thinks someone is making popcorn! Yo momma's so fat her blood type is Ragu! And, your mom's so fat that when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate!"

"I'm so startled." muttered the teen sarcastically. "Your mom's so fat her nicname is 'DANG!'"

"Well your mom's so poor she tried to eat soul food!"

"Your mom's so dumb she stayed up all night studying for her blood test!"

"Yeah but, your mom's so dumb her IQ's a decimal!"

"When I go to your mom's for dinner…I stay for breakfast!"

"Excuse me?"

"You think about that man…you just think about that."

Laughing, Nekole swung an arm around the other's shoulder. "Dude, that was great! You've got way more potential than your bro. Where is that guy anyway? Did you see him?"

"Yeah I did. He's actually sleeping where I was hanging out a while ago."

"Sweeet~!" And with that, the ninja named Sasuke and the OC named Nekole went to the room of corpses, pink-haired she-males, and retarded blondes.

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Next time: Whose side is Nekole really on? When will the Naruto fillers end in America? How long will 'Sakuro' keep up her façade? How long will it take for you to review? Find out the anwsers to these burning questions after the break/next chapter/RIGHT NOW.

Word to your mothers~. (Sorry this was short and slightly retarded...next update will be sooner and intely-genty-er, I swear!)