A/N: Welcome, good readers, to the first of 20 installments of Riku/Sora goodness. This will be updated as I update on the LiveJournal Community 20 Songs, which is a low-stress fan/original fiction community where you can write or draw pieces about a couple or a single character, as long as each peice is written to or inspired by a song. It's a wonderful community for budding and veteran writers, and I would encourage anyone with a LiveJournal to join.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. (I own both the games and guides, but alas, not the enterprise). They belong to Disney and square. I do not own the lyrics to The Reason, they belong to Hoobastank.

WARNING: This is a Slash piece. Otherwise known as yaoi, gay, boyxboy fiction. Although there is no sex involved, a romantic relationship between two persons of the male gender is implied. If this is not your cup of tea, I would suggest leaving now.

Amends

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know...

Riku pressed his shoulder against the cold cement of the huge arching white door. The door to Kingdom Hearts. The door he was locking himself inside.

He pushed with all the strength still left inside of him, pushed until his muscles burned and his veins felt like they were on fire. But he kept on pushing, kept on straining, because he knew that however much pain he was in, Sora was in twice as much.

Sora, his small, optimistic friend who had fought so hard and been so good as to get his way to the light without hesitation. Sora, who had never faltered in his quest, was never tempted by the darkness, was struggling now to save the heart of all worlds. Sora, who had just fought against the treacherous creature called "Ansem" that had taken hold of Riku's own body and soul, who was exhausted and hurting and still trying to help others more than himself.

For Sora, if nothing else, Riku would overcome his own pains. For Sora, if nothing else, he would do the right thing.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you...

Riku had allowed himself to be used, allowed himself to be tricked and taken in.

There had been darkness inside him. A deep, aching darkness that stemmed from his desire to leave behind his childhood. He had become sick of lazy days and immature games. He wanted adventure and knowledge that could only be obtained by leaving behind everything he had known. He wanted to throw off the innocence that had bound him to that island, to those people and that life. He shook off that purity and embraced the uncertain haze of the future without a backward glance.

Riku had wanted answers to his questions without thinking or caring about consequences. And that alone made him fall into the darkness that had gripped him.

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear...

Sora, his best friend, had fallen as well. Through the hole that had devoured their world and thrust them into the unknown. But Sora, his best friend, was not corrupted by the wonder and power that came with going to another world. Newfound strength and knowledge and power...none of that could touch the light that glowed within that small, devoted heart.

He never realized it before. All their lives that they were together, Riku had always thought Sora to be weaker because he was younger and smaller. Sora was always second best, when in reality, he was the better of them. Maybe he had known it all along, and just didn't want to accept it. Maybe he had wanted to steal that innocence and goodness away from him. Maybe it was just because he had wanted to prove to himself and Sora that he was good enough.

So he accepted, without hesitation, the evil power that was offered to him. The Heartless, the Darkness, none of it matter if he could be stronger than he was. If he could outrun the fear and the feelings of inferiority. With that power, he made his friend suffer. He hurt Sora, pushed him away, and endangered Kairi -- an innocent in the power struggle of the two boys' relationship.

They had fought several battles, ones that bore no resemblance to the friendly competition they had always had growing up. Even when Riku was stronger and given more power, even with the Heartless on his side, Riku was defeated again and again. Until his body and heart were no longer his own. Until even Sora's voice, so welcome to his ears, could no longer reach him where he was.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you...

Ansem was what he called himself. He had offered the power that Riku desperately sought. He had offered the answers Riku needed. A reason for being, a purpose in life. He offered him the ability to conquer Sora once and for all, to prove he was the best.

Ansem was what he called himself when he invaded Riku's body and soul. Ansem was who took his heart and used him as a weapon against the only people who meant anything in the world to him. Ansem was the one who tried to destroy everything.

But even after many battles. Even after so much trouble and pain, Sora kept coming for him. Sora believed in him, and called to him, and vowed to bring him back from the abyss.

So for Sora, if nothing else, he could close this fucking door once and for all.

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know...

Sora had freed him when he defeated Ansem, when the purity of light that spewed forth from Kingdom Hearts had bathed him in its glow. Riku was his own person again, with his body and heart intact.

It was almost funny, though. Half of him wanted to run scared because of the dark unknown behind him. Him! Who had faced darkness without a blink only days before was now suddenly scared to the bone. The other half of him was overjoyed because of that fear. Because he had a heart again, and could feel all those emotions. No longer was he made only of anger and hate.

For a long time he had thought that hate and anger would make him stronger, feed his power. For a long time, it did just that, but hate is always defeated. Even if the opponent is weaker and smaller and younger. If his love is greater than the hate, he would win. It was something that Riku learned from his best friend.

He would not let this lesson go to waste. He would not let down the only person who had believed in him, when all others had doubted.

Riku grasped the smooth, cold door to Kingdom Hearts, and pulled with all the strength of his body and heart.

There were bigger things at stake now than him and his issues, bigger worlds in danger than just his own.

There was Kairi, and their island to think about. There were the countless other worlds that he had touched with his malice. There was Sora, the boy who encompassed Riku's own world. Sora had brought him back, and now Riku would rescue him.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you...

Sora pushed from his side of the door. Riku could hear his strained breathing, the stretching of his muscles. Donald and Goofy pushed from their side of the door too, giving it their all. The three saviors of the worlds. His saviors.

King Mickey had appeared, to slay the demons of darkness that tried to stop them. He would help seal the door once and for all.

Riku pulled. Sora pushed. And the door began closing on its own.

There were only seconds now, Riku knew, before Sora was gone from his side, possibly forever. He looked through the closing crack in the door, panting lightly. Sora stared back at him, blue eyes wide and full of a thousand emotions. Sora had always been that way -- everything he felt was right there on his face and in his eyes. His face was dappled with sweat, and Riku knew that the labored breaths were from the battle as well as the struggle of closing the door.

Riku felt a tightening of his heart, of his chest. He wanted to say so many things. Expressions of gratitude, honor, love. He wanted to beg Sora to never let go of the light in his heart, never lose the goodness that made him what he was. Instead, all he could say was "Take care of her."

Kairi. Their pure-hearted, helpless friend. She needed Sora's help now, no matter how much Riku wanted to grab him and pull him into the door with him. No matter how badly Riku wanted Sora by his side, it was time that they part.

Until he was worthy of being at Sora's side, Riku would leave him. He would make amends, he would become stronger without darkness and tricks. He would become worthy of Sora's unrelenting faith.

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you...

It was Sora who saved him, Riku had no doubt of that.

Now it was time for him to show that his saving wasn't in vain.

The door closed, sealing, cutting him off from Sora. Riku took a step forward, faltered, and kept his back to the moving darkness. His heart grieved and felt truly defeated for the first time. But then he thought of Sora on the other side of that door, and he raised his head.

In his hand appeared a weapon.

He turned to face the darkness, and this time, he would bring the light.