AN: Time warp! This one takes place during Margaret's marriage!

> > >

"Major! Major! You're husband is here!"

> > >

"Mommy! What's his name?" The little girl giggled as a fluffy white cat swatted at her.

"It's Horace, dear."

"Horace?" Margaret scrunched up her nose. "That's an icky name!"

"It's noble." Her father added in.

"Yes, sir. I wasn't thinking about it in terms of noblty."

"It's nobility."

"Yes, sir. Nobility."

Margaret continued playing with Horace. What she didn't know was that at night things would take a turn for the worse…

> > >

"Mommy! Horace's friends won't let me sleep." The-girl-who-would-be-Major sniffed.

It seemed as if every cat in the neighborhood had lined up on the windowsill, eager to get a glimpse of the new cat.

"Just ignore them, dear."

"You've gotta get used to them now. When you grow up to be a nurse in the army, whenever there's a war you'll have to sleep through the bombs being dropped. Think of the cats as training."

"Yes, sir!" Margaret skipped back to her bedroom for sleep.

> > >

After they had owned him for a while, Horace got pregnant! Margaret would giggle in delight as his, or shall I say her, stomach swayed back and forth while her parents angrily phoned the pound, demanding to know why they were told their cat was a male!

"Mommy! Which cat is gonna be the father?"

"I don't know, dear. Probably that black one. He's the only one we let play with Horace."

"Why doesn't Horace live with him, if he's her husband?"

"It doesn't work that way, dear."

"Howitzer Al" explained it. "With cats, the male only likes the female for one thing. As soon as he's got that one thing, both the cats go on with their lives. They don't feel love for one another. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir. I understand." She didn't.

> > >

The next day, Margaret was outside playing with Horace. When she looked up, she noticed the black cat was walking by.

"Horace! Horace! Your husband is here!"

Horace looked up at her quizzically.

"Common, Horace! It's your husband!"

Neither Horace nor the black cat cared. Margaret understood what her father meant after that.

> > >

"Major! Major! Your husband is here!" Radar called as he ran up to her in the compound.

"Where?"

"VIP tent, sir-I mean ma'am."

Margaret strolled off to the tent leisurely, all the while wondering whether Donald Penobscott had gotten that "one thing".

AN: Before anyone hurts me about the fact that the family would probably know that Horace was a girl, let me remind you that this is a true story… Actually, it's about my half-uncle and HIS cat, Horace:) If anyone wonders why I'm writing sad things, well… I just watched, "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest", which is a great movie, but very sad. Well… Not sad… Bittersweet…

Anyways, I was in tears at the end and I've taken my angstiness out in fanfics.

To my lovely reviewers:

Kooshball: If you think this is depressing, wait for Hawk's chapter… That one I think is gonna be almost overly depressing! I know that in the book doesn't say anything, though, the book says that Hawkeye has six brothers, so… :) I'm pretty sure the movie and show don't say anything about Trapper having siblings… There probably is something in "MASH Goes To Maine", considering the fact Trapper gets married, but I haven't read it.

Highmaintenance: I'll hold you for that bet! I have great ideas for 101… I just can't write them down. Don't worry, though! As soon as this writers block passes I'll probably put up sixteen chapters for it!

Hawk's Soul: I thought I was a bit off the mark with Trapper… I thought I almost did his character as a later Hawkeye… You know… all angst-ified and angry at the world. But then again, I was shooting for angsty, so maybe I was on the mark! And thank you for boosting my ego:)

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And please excuse the suckiness of this chapter...