Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or any thing affiliated with it. . . .
My mother always told me to never follow the crowd, go through life on my own accordance. She said I could be what ever I wanted. Now look at me; dead or damn near close.
When I was 19 I joined a gang called the Red Dragon Syndicate. I wanted to be the biggest gangster in the world, so I figured I had to start someplace. I became a sweeper, one of the most deadliest motherfuckers you could run into. I had no idea what the key moral to my job was, but all I knew was that I had orders and needed to followed them.
It was a gruesome job at first, the ruthless killing without reason. I was sick for a week when I completed my first mission. It was a simple assassination but the man begged for his life and I killed him anyways. It's a thought that still swims among all the other memories I have.
Anyways, then there was Julia, goddess of light. When I first saw her, she was like a gleaming light through all the smoke and grime that filled the bar. It was then that I knew I needed her. There was only one problem, she was vicious' girl. Though she was probably just a new fuck for him. Yeah, me and Vicious were friends/comrades at the time. I was stupid; I didn't care for anything then, not even a friends feelings, so I took her. I thought one time with her would quench my thirst but I was wrong. After that first time, the deceit, the hunger, the thirst, it just didn't quit. So I fell, yeah, I fell hard.
Then. . . . I don't know. . . . Shit happened. After I quit the Red Dragon (faked my death) she promised we could run away together. I gave her the address where she could find me, but she never came. I waited for hours, in the fuckin rain, but she never even showed. I guess she was just another fuck after all, but there was still the pain, the love, the lust lingering inside of me.
I left Mars and decided to partner up with this cat named Jet. He was a bounty hunter, a real Cowboy. He used to work for the ISSP so we got a shit load of inside info on the bounty heads. So I became a cowboy, my name was known throughout all the galaxies.
Then there came the other shipmates (in other words, free loaders who didn't have any where else to go). Ein, the genius dog. Ed, the computer genius hacker freak. Faye, the firecracker. I regret not making the first move on her. I mean she had a nice sexy body and those breast, they were to die for. Oh well, I'm gonna die now anyways. I didn't deserve romance as a reward for the life I led, I deserve to die cold and alone for all the people I've killed, all the lies I've told, and for all the things I've taken and never gave.
I close my eyes and reach for the pack of cigarettes in my pocket. I pull out a stick and search for a light. Damn, no lighter, I can't even enjoy one last cancer stick before I die. I bring my right hand up to my mouth and cough; blood, there's blood in my hand. A smile creeps up my face as my vision slowly slips from my grasp. Blood slides down the side of my face and I feel light headed. Heh, things don't always go your way. . . . .
There's a saying that my mother always told me when she was mad at me. . . .
"Spike," she would say, "Idiots don't go to heaven"
Heh, guess I'm goin to hell then mom, cause I'm stupid. . . . . A real idiot. . . . .