I used to be big on nonsensical things, but I'm only recently starting to get back into them…so here, this was posted about two years ago, and now its back, Nightmare in Kindergarten! XD go ahead and flame me, I know how some people think about these types of stories X3 so go ahead, kindle my fire!

CHAPTER 1

Teacher: "Okay children settle down settle down! Lets all get organized and ready to learn!"

"FDAFKLEJASKL GIVE IT BACK OOGIE ITS MINE MINE MINE!"

"NEVER! COVERT YOU YOU RETART SELFISH LUNG FISH BOTTOM WIPING PANSY GLASS BUTT MUNCHING BAMBI LOVING, TELE EATING, BAKA DISIN KAT FROM DE EASTSIDE, ITS MIN EJFEKALJGFELAFJKEKASFAESA—"

Teacher: "Children settle down! Is this how you act at home Boogie?"

Jack: "HE AINT GO A HOME!"

Mayor: "He lives in a box!"

Jack: "LIKE YOU?"

Oogie: "Ooo you got dissed."

Mayor: "…ITS TRUE! (cries into jack's shoulder)

Jack: "you have five seconds before I shove that toy truck up you're a—"

Teacher: "Children please! Now, its time for a story!

Sally: "OH OH! I HAB ONE!" (walks up to the front of the classroom)

Jack: "hello lady….foxaaaaay!"

Sally: Oo (ahem) "Once upon a time, there was a very stupid boogie man—"

Oogie Boogie: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Children: YEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Teacher: "Sally we don't call each other stupid…"

(suddenly a chibi jack runs across the screen) "CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAATTEEE!"

(children get up and start screaming)

Teacher: "No class! Sit down! Stop that right now! Mayor get out of Hammy's cage! Leave the fish alone jack!"

Sally: (tugs at teachers skirt) "Did you know in California its illegal to get a fish drunk!"

(Jack hides scotch behind back)

Teacher: OKAY! Stop it now all of you!"

(Children sigh and sit down)

(mayor twitches and curls into a ball)

Teacher: "Now, today we're going to have a very special guest!"

Jack: "DANNY ELFMAN!"

Sally: "TIM BURTON?"

Oogie Boogie: "PAMILLA ANDERSON?"

Mayor: "BARNEY?"

(awkward silence)

Mayor: "….what?"

Teacher: "no no kids, today we're going to invite……..a fireman!"

(children roll eyes and shrugg)

Jack: "I KNEW IT!"

(fireman walks in) "Hiya-FIRE-kiddo's! My name is Mr. Arsonist! I'm a fireman! I like FIRE!"

Jack: (cough) PSYYYYYCHOOOOO

Mr. Arsonist: "Yes children that's right, a fireman! I dowse fires! That's why I'm named Mr. Arson—FIRE…"

Sally: "Have you ever killed anyone?"

Mr. Arsonist: "haha! No little girl, I don't kill people I save them….fr—from FIRE!"

"Oh…have you ever come close to killing anyone?"

"No, but I think we're getting a little off the subject, so—"

Jack: "Do you have a dog?"

Mr. Arsonist: "Yes, why do you ask?"

"Has it ever killed anyone?"

…. No, it hasn't.

Oogie: "Do you like pie?"

Teacher: "Okay children enough questions! Mr. Arsonist why don't you show them what you do in case of an emergency!

Oogie: "Big dip…you stop drop and roll, like my dice, gwahahahaha…"

Jack: "Uhhh…my daddy told me to jump out a window."

Oogie: "Your daddies full of tubby pudding." (children gasp)

Jack: "Don't make fun of my daddy! He's the king!"

Oogie: "Yea the king of nothing…really it's the mayor who should be in charge!"

Mayor: "SWEET I'M IN CHARGE!"

Oogie: "YOU'RE NOT MAYOR YET YOU FAT BAST--"

Mayor: "You know oogie, one of these days, you're going to get banished."

Oogie: "Yea right. Kiss my black ass…."

Sally: "I'll pass."

Mr. Arsonist: "I have a strange feeling that I'm being ignored."

(Behemoth speaks, taking his tea quietly as he begins): Its quite a misfortune I say. A system of self-perpetuating autocracy in which the bureaucrat of a leading holiday is cast aside for the more regal iota of wielded supreme executive power. A pity. Derived from the more…following pursuit I must say. Practically based on English law from forthright commune.

(looks down in lap)

"….Oh dear me, I seem to have a smidgen of tea on my petticoat. Oh woah is I. Deary, deary me." (shruggs) "Oh well. Do carry on, go on, do carry I say."

(children stare blankly at behemoth)

Sally: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNN

(suddenly doctor Finkelstien races in on his wheel chair) "I'VE DONE IT! I'VE JUST ACHIEVED THE GREATEST FEIGHT OF MANKIND! I HAVE MADE THE CURE FOR (holds up bottle) …CANCER!"

Jack: "It's a little too late finkey."

Sally: "YEA WE SORTA DIED!"

Jack: "Ahh but my fair maiden, your beauty surpasses even those of the living!"

Oogie: "Show off."

(bell rings)

Teacher: "Okay children, you can go home now—

(students race off without even caring)

Teacher: "Sorry mr. Arsonist, but maybe you can come in tomorrow?"

Doctor Finkelstien: "EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIES!ZZZZ"