Summary – For some the ultimate price isn't death. Rodney whumping

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – can'tsay this would happen if I owned them but still…

Tell me

"Did I tell you the one about how I saved Atlantis?"

John's heard it before of course but still.

"They wanted out city didn't they, if we'd let them through the gate they would have gotten it, but they didn't, did they?" There's no waiting for an answer though, the voice sweeps on.

"But I stopped them, didn't I? I saved us.

"Because they don't get it, it could all have been different, why don't they understand it? If they all worked together against the Wraith, if we all worked together…"

John watches as the voice trails off, it's expected after all, Carson had said-

"But I saved us!"

John nods, he remembers it like it were yesterday Teyla and Ronon fighting, the gate open, something blocking the radio waves through the gate, no way to get a message to tell them to close the Iris, and Rodney, yelling that he could fix it but there was a problem."

Remembers his own response, screaming that it didn't fucking matter and Rodney had better get the fuck on with it or John was going to-

"But I saved us."

The weapon that had disintegrated the natives and God how he'd been going to give Rodney stick for the de-atomiser later but then the ominous silence.

And he'd run but he'd known it was too late.

Arriving to find a scientist eyes open and staring. Staring but unseeing, John shudders as he remembers.

Sitting in a control chair that was never meant for him, that was never meant for anyone. Completely uncomprehending.

Alive but…

Empty.

There was nothing they could do, not even the Ancients had progressed to how to fix a mind damaged beyond repair.

Nothing they could do to fix the childlike voice that called out to him, asking why it was dark, apologising again and again and-

"But I saved us!" The voice is proud and though John buries his face in one hand, his eyes never leave the figure on the bed.

The face is anxious, "John? Are you there? Are you listening? John?" There's fear, fear and the beginnings of panic, he's left it too long before responding.

"I'm here Rodney, I'm listening. I'll always be listening."

"John where's Carson? Why isn't he here? Where am I?"

John bites his lip, "Safe, you're safe, I promise."

Rodney's face relaxes slightly, and John almost convinces himself that the vacant eyes focus slightly for a second, a glimmer of their previous intelligence shining through before he accepts, again that it was just an illusion.

"Did I tell you about how I saved Atlantis?" Rodney asks.

John closes his eyes and clenches his fists fighting a burning behind his eyes before reaching out for Rodney's hand and squeezing it.

Partly because he's heard it before, but Rodney still deserves to tell it.

Mainly because in this lonely hospital in the middle of nowhere, where there was no risk of someone who shouldn't hear something hearing anything, he was the only one who was ever going to listen.

"No," he replies, "tell me."