Blasters and Wands, Chapter One.

Harry was walking to the quiddich pitch, broom in hand, intending to fly his thoughts of the third task away, when he was intercepted by five professional looking men.

"Mr. Potter, You are under arrest for the murder of Cedric Diggory. Do not resist. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will…"

Harry was not paying attention. He was however paying attention to the TIE Advanced x1 series with two passenger pods slowly dropping lower, Its incessant whine mixing with the roar of a Skipray blastboat hovering above the school. One of his captors noticed his stunned expression.

"Cat got your tongue potter?"

Harry wordlessly pointed. All his captors laughed.

"We don't fall for those tricks Potter!"

And then the imposing figure of Darth Vader approached them from behind.

"Gentlemen, Mr. Potter has attracted the attention of the Emperor. He will be coming with me."

The men crumbled under the sheer power of the force mind trick, and Harry was still in shock as Darth Vader steered him toward the TIE fighter and his future as a psudo-Sith apprentice.

Back on Corucant, Harry was stubbornly resisting the emperor's attempts to turn him to the dark side. But that was after the initial 'look at the kindly old grandfather-type person who is teaching you all about why you are here and where you are.'

"Look. I understand the power of the Dark Arts, but you cannot dedicate your life to them. Even in battle, you cannot use hot anger. You can use cold anger, but they type of anger you are talking about is Hot Anger, and it uses you. You need to mix both the light and the dark to effectively fight."

The emperor scowled. Although, that was how he normally looked. (The old wrinkly face was a force trick he used to make himself look more imposing.)

"Fine. How about this. I'll try to use some of the light force arts, if you use some of the dark. And you MUST have the standard issue Sith Red Lightsaber."

"Fine. Now let's get started!"

After that, Harry was taught for the whole summer on how to use the force, both light and dark. Sadly, while Harry and the Emperor were having so much fun, Darth Vader was working on eradicating all traces of Harry potter doing something wrong in the eyes of the law and Fudge.

Diagon Alley, August 29th.

When Harry came back to earth to get his school supplies he dropped into Diagon Alley in a Z-206 Headhunter air-speeder. He disembarked with the emperor, leaving the headhunter parked in the middle of the alley, and began listening to Darth Sidious' final instructions before he went to school.

"Bring me back more news of this… Magic, my young apprentice." More than 5/6 of the muggleborn students in the alley cringed at the gravelly tones of the emperor. "And do not forget to show this… Voldemort who the real Dark Lord is in the galaxy! Oh, and your guard and the stormtroopers will be coming along in about a week. Their ISD broke down halfway between Tatooine and here, and it will take about that long to repair it."

At the thought of the Emperor's Red Guard and a legion of stormtroopers living on earth, more than half the muggleborns fainted. The other half had to lean up against walls.

Harry smirked, but sadly, the effect was lost as he was still wearing his cowl. "It will be as you say Master." And he stalked off to Gringotts, glaring at people under his hood.

Darth Sidious smirked as he climbed back into the speeder. Sith Lord Potter was going to take the Wizarding World by storm.

Harry walked into the bank, people fainting in his wake, and showed his key to a goblin. "Hello Griphook. Care to show me to my vault?"

Griphook was surprised, and then chuckled. "A Sith Lord? Dumbledore's Golden Boy? Been absolutely ages since we had a Sith in here. The last one was Exar Kun, if I remember rightly."

Harry gripped Griphook's shoulders. "Did he have a vault? If he did, I have the right to see it as a Sith Lord!"

"Of course Mr. Potter, we will go see your vault and then take that cart down to his vault. Righto, off we go!"

Exar Kun's vault was surprisingly empty. All he kept in there were several Sith Holocrons and about ten vibro-axes and thirty-something vibro-knives. The center piece of the vault was a pedestal with a Lightsaber on it. Harry scooped up the Holocrons and grabbed two of the vibro-knives, and picked up the Lightsaber from the pedestal and left to finish his shopping in Diagon alley.

Three days later, Hermione and the Weaslys appeared in the alley, talking of shopping and the Sith lord who lived in the alley.

Hermione was skeptical. "I don't believe that the Sith really exist. This will be an imposter, just you wait."

Harry chuckled, and appeared in front of her. "Hi Hermione! How are you?" He looked at his chronometer. "Oh damn. I told the Dursleys I'd be there at noon. Well, ta!" he dashed off to the Leaky Cauldron, apparating once inside, leaving a gobsmacked group of people behind.

Harry appeared in front of Mrs. Figg's house, and immediately knew something was amiss. Perhaps something in the air, or maybe it was the torn apart house fronts, or the small boy named Mark Evans being tortured by a Crucio spell on the Dursley's front lawn.

The death eater torturing Mark was laughing, or at least he was until Harry ignited his ligtsaber with a snap-hiss jumped, and chopped the Death Eater's head off with his lightsaber. "You will leave him alone." Were his exact words, a mite too late, as he had already separated the Death Eater's head from his shoulders. The rest turned to stare at him, and then launched avada kedavras at him, which were promptly intercepted by the lightsaber blade. When faced with an unknown, the death eaters promptly disapparated. All except for one, who was apparently a new recruit, and was unable to apparate. Foolishly turning to insult this defender of muggles, he yelled "My master will crush you like the ant you are!"

Harry turned to him, and spoke with contempt, "Your master, does not know who the real dark lord in the galaxy is." And then he fried him with force lightning. "I cannot wait until the Vengeance gets here."

After cleaning up the mess outside and repairing the house fronts, he began to place memory charms on the muggles, who were still in shock. Looking sadly at his relatives destroyed house, and their mangled corpses, he made the muggles think it was a gas explosion and apparated away.

The day the Vengeance got to earth, Harry was lying in his bed in the Leaky Cauldron, waiting for the Lambda class shuttle that would carry the first of his personal guard when, speak of the devil, the shuttle dropped into Diagon Alley, its cloaking device shimmering off, the screams of the people in the Alley mixing with the whine of the ramp lowering. Two of the Red Guard in their eerie red robes and five stormtroopers disembarked.

One of the Red Guard strode forward to him and spoke, "Sir, Permission to speak freely?"

"Granted Trooper."

"I don't see why we aren't just going to this school directly in TIEs, as opposed to taking this… train thing."

"Call it sentimental reasons trooper. I have friends who will be riding the train, and an enemy I want to make an impression on."

"Ah. I see sir."

Harry grabbed hold of them all and apparated them to platform nine and three quarters.

When a black robed figure, two red robed figures wielding pikes and five white armored stormtroopers appeared on the platform, the first reaction of the people was shock. By the time the people on the platform figured out that there was a potential enemy in their midst, Harry and his guard had already boarded the train.

On the train, the five stormtroopers splat up and placed themselves on strategic areas of the train, and his red guard were placed on the inside of the compartment he was in, in such a way that no one would see them unless they stepped into the compartment. Even with them hidden that way, Harry put a Force you will not notice me trick on them. With these defenses, Harry was soon joined by Ron and Hermione.

Ron spoke first. "Harry, mate, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!"

Hermione just looked relived.

Harry smirked. "Sorry Ron, that information is classified, as it may compromise our agents in the field."

Ron just gaped.

Soon, after several more refusals to tell them where he had been, Hermione jumped up and yelled. "Ron! We're late for a prefect meeting!" and dragged Ron out of the compartment.

Harry thought to himself, huh. I had forgotten that prefects were chosen this year. Heh, not like they could get an owl to me on Corucant. Besides, I really don't want to be a prefect. I'd have to call offal of those ingenious pranks I have planned.

When Ron and Hermione came back, Harry began smirking. Any minute now… he thought, and then, speak, well, think of the devil.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't potty, the mudblood, and the weasel. I'm surprised you survived the summer! The ministry might not say anything, but I expected the dark lord to crush your heads open like eggs."

Harry stared coldly at Malfoy. "Well, I had thought that ol' Moldywart had killed you for incompetence."

Malfoy started forward, apparently intending to punch Harry, when Harry pointed his hand toward him, and took a leaf out of Darth Vader's book. That is to say, a non-lethal Force choke maneuver. Malfoy was lifted off the ground, kicking and clawing at his throat as though to loosen his collar. "Really, I expected you to go for your wand Malfoy. You would do well to steer clear of me from now on. NOW GET OUT!" And with that and a wave of his hand, Harry blew Malfoy out of the compartment and into the wall.

Hermione recovered first. "But wandless magic is supposed to be impossible!"

Harry smirked (He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately) and pulled his wand out of his sleeve and showed it to her. "Old trick. I coupled a Constricting charm and a levitation charm, and then a Banishing charm to blow him out of the compartment."

In reality though, he had done no such thing. The Force was a powerful ally.

Walking to the carrages, Harry noticed the presence of something new, namely, vaguely reptilian, skeletal winged horses strapped to the carrages. Harry examined them through the force and found that one could not see them unless one had seen death. Harry ignored them, assuming that they had been there all along, and he had only become able to see them after his summer of negotiations with the rebels.

The Rebel leaders, seeing the change in the Empire (Namely, the reforming of the senate, the dismantling of the Death Star and the tax collection agency's main guillotine, several key rights restored) had agreed to negotiations. The leaders had agreed that the rebels had gotten what they wanted, and the emperor had gotten a ray of love into his rather black heart (he got a girlfriend, admittedly by using the force to make himself younger, but still, a girlfriend!) and most people were happy.

Note the 'most' there. Several admirals had left, taking their star destroyers with them. In fact, one of the emperor's apprentices had left, beginning a campaign of terror. Harry had hunted him down and killed him. Sadly, The apprentice was far more skilled with a lightsaber than he was, and Harry had barely managed to kill him only loosing the limbs he did. Harry had lost an arm and both legs. After recovering in the hospital, the emperor had had some of the best surgeons attach prosthetics. But, they were still droid arms, with the sense of touch, but droid arms nonetheless. Harry now wore gloves to hide the metallic color of his limbs. Harry was not complaining though. Superhuman strength, the ability to switch off pain from those limbs, and the ability to freak people out simply by removing gloves were all boons to a Sith. He had also had the support of Anakin Skywalker, Or Darth Vader in public, who had gone through something similar on the lava planet of Mustafar, only he had been fighting his former master.

After climbing into a carriage, Harry, Ron and Hermione began talking of how the ministry would react to Harry returning. For now, only speaking with friends mattered.

AN: I… Have made a complete fool of myself. But, what do I care! It's not like I have much dignity anyway, and when your muse won't leave you alone you have to do something! Next chapter, Harry makes the Slytherins sing 'We're the Knights of the Round Table' from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Please, tell me how pathetic this is in a review so I have someone to laugh at.