I own nothing… but Atlantis would be a lovely present… hint Santa

Chapter One;

"… time and time again crowds of people have literally thronged around me offering their "delicacies", which may I say are abysmal even by Atlantis' cafeteria standards. Lord knows how I've made it this long. Reactions to citrus fruits are one of the most common problems hospitals encounter. Only last year…" Rodney continued, his seemingly endless supply of criticisms' flowing so fast John was surprised he had to time to breathe.

Glancing sideways John watched Elizabeth nodding almost systematically in Rodney's direction; possibly the only one even making an attempt to show interest. He counted the seconds between each incline of her head.

She was automatically nodding every 10 seconds. Yup. So even Elizabeth wasn't listening. John noticed one lock of hair was slowly sliding further towards the front of her face. Every nod of her head brought it closer to falling. He watched, captivated by the single strand of hair. He suddenly realised with a start that she was smiling at him. Flushing slightly, he smiled back then looked down at the table.

"Sheesh. How long had she been watching him?"

After a moment's recovery, John turned his attention to the rest of the team seated around the table. Carson looked absorbed by his nails; flexing his fingers absentmindedly. Teyla sat, her back straight; staring at an unknown spot on the opposite wall. Ronon looked as though he were weighing up whether to throw the faded leather ball he held grasped in between his fingers or just swipe the head off the owner of the seemingly unstoppable voice that was Rodney Mackay.

John now looked at the file that sat unopened in front of him. Apparently Stargate Command couldn't afford to send paracetamol, but thought it necessary to equip every member of the Atlantis team with a mathematics supply kit. Elizabeth had distributed one to each of them minutes before the meeting began; all eager to learn of the files' contents. She put an end to their individual hopes and broke the bad news. She was greeted with groans of disappointment and the folders still lay unopened.

"Jeeze, Rodney's complaints have driven me to this?" John mused, unfastening the folders catch. The package consisted of several odd shaped rulers John vaguely recognised from trigonometry; rubbers; pencils; pens and a calculator. He pressed the "on" button at the top of the calculator; a familiar green glow dimly lit the screen. Continuing to press at random numbers, John was quite oblivious to the captivated faces of the remainder of the room – except of course Rodney, who had now moved on to the subject of uncomfortable seating in the dining area.

Elizabeth chuckled at John, concealing her giggles in a cough, glancing apologetically in Rodney's direction. He appeared not to have noticed - his opinions regarding the lack of cushioning on Atlantis' chairs clearly receiving all his attention. John grinned at Elizabeth, and began mouthing "w-h-o c-a-r-e-s?". Elizabeth bit her lip, bowing her head to hide the grin on her face. John typed a couple of digits on to the calculator, and subtly stretched his arm across the table. The calculator beneath his hand now lay in front of Elizabeth.

"HI" it read,

Smiling, she typed a reply;

"HELLO 70" She swiftly passed it back.

John stared, slightly confused. What did that mean at the end? It took him a moment to realise. Oh! "Jon" Laughing quietly, he wrote again.

"H0W r 00" A nudge of his elbow, and the calculator slid across the table's surface.

Teyla, Ronon and Carson watched in amusement as the two ranking officers passed calculator notes like school teenagers at the back of a classroom.

"G0.U" Again, the communication device was deftly pushed back. Several minutes later, and John was running out of words that were possible to type on a calculator. Thinking back to his childhood, he tried to recall some of the weirder functions you could press to get different letters on the screen. And then he remembered…

He pushed in the commands - then deleted it again. He wasn't sure whether he should be saying this to his leader. One puzzled look from Elizabeth cleared his doubts, and he retyped;

"U r S3xi3"

Sitting next to John, Carson's eyes widened as he read the message. He then turned to watch Elizabeth's reaction almost as closely as John was. Gritting his teeth, John prepared himself for a firm telling off about his inappropriate comments.

Elizabeth's face lit up and she beamed at John.

"U r 2"

Carson' eyes widened further than he had thought medically possible.

A wicked grin made its way across John's mouth causing Elizabeth to blush a light red. John's heart started to beat a little faster, pleased at the emotions he was so easily evoking in her.

Annoyed at the pleasure John was having at seeing her so clearly embarrassed, she retrieved the calculator and began to type again…

TBC...

I know I'm not the world's best writer, far from it in fact, but please review! I want to improve so please criticize etc. Go on… push the lil' button…