Hao: Owner's Guide and User Maintenance Manual
Disclaimer: I do not own Hao, Shaman King and the idea for this guide.
A/N: I got this idea while I was browsing through the Yu-Gi-Oh section and a guide like this so here's one on our favorite shaman, Asakura Hao. Here goes!
I DO NOT OWN THE 'OWNERS GUIDE IDEA'. I was merely inspired and decided to write one for my own pleasure.
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have just bought yourself a Asakura Hao Model! To ensure that there will be no extra casualties or lives lost. Please follow these simple but drastic instructions:
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:
Name: Asakura Hao (a.k.a Hao, Spirit of Fire User)
On a side note: We're not responsible for any lost of lives just because you didn't call him the name which was given in the manual. Any cute names are not preferred but call them in your own risk.
Date of Manufacture: May 12, 1985
Place of Manufacture: Anna's Shaman Inc, Tokyo, Japan
Height: 5"3"
Weight: Undisclosed
Coloring: Black, Pale, white and red.
Length: Varies
INSTALLATION:
Here comes the tough part. Before you ever installed your Asakura Hao Model, please make sure that there should be lots and lots of buckets of water around you. This is too make sure that he won't get moody and throw fire everywhere after being wake up after a long sleep.
Equipments needed:
-LOTS and I mean lots of bucket of water. Preferably you flooded your own room but at least 20 pails will be enough.
Step 1: Please carefully place your Asakura Hao Unit over a fire-insulating area.
Step 2: Open the box carefully so you won't hurt your unit. Believe us, we have suffered a few burns when we keep him in a box.
Step 3: Slowly and quietly tear off the seal title, "CAUTION: OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK'.
Step 4: If you happen to have balls of fire being instantly thrown at you, quickly shut the lid back on. You might want to open it some other time. Don't worry, the box is fire proof.
Step 5: If you're lucky and Hao's is not functional at that time, quickly take the accessories out and pray hard.
Step 6: Slowly get Hao out of the box. Put on his accessories and wala. Your Hao Unit is done.
Don't sue the manufacturer if the Hao unit has his evil mode on when you get him out of the box. The only thing you can do is run for life since the house is going to be burn down any soon.
Accessories:
Your Hao unit comes with the following accessories:
2 pancho (His basic Cloth)
2 pair of gloves with stars on them
2 pair of cowboy pants with stars
Extra stars incase his sewn on stars fall off
A brown comb with stars on them
3 pairs of Red Boxers
A set of Tuxedo (incase he goes on a date)
Voodoo dolls (He might want to play when he's bored)
A couple of ropes (This is an extra accessories for Hao. This is just to ensure that he won't start attacking the owner. Use the ropes to pin him down BUT don't let him get the hold of it or else you will really be in trouble.)
A small Yoh Plushie (This plushie is needed so that Hao can get to sleep without any distraction. It's the easiest way to calm him down. Just remember not to say anything about the plushie…He can get very defensive you know.)
MODES:
The ASAKURA HAO UNIT comes with a couple of visible modes. Some are lock and will only be shown when it is necessary. Watch out for them since they can be dangerous sometimes.
Possesive Mode:
Hao will only have this mode on when other units approach the Yoh Unit. If you don't want your whole house to be in a wreck, GET THOSE UNITS AWAY FROM YOH AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
Evil Mode:
This mode is already on at every time or even under every circumstance. Please note that this mode will be getting really dangerous whenever Hao sees a bomb or anything related. You'll have to blame the manufacturers on this one. They came up with the special effects.
Physco Mode:
Dangerous I will have to say. Your Hao Unit comes with this of course. Feed him some tachos or hand him his plushie to calm him down. That will always work.
Sad Mode:
I REPEAT! Do not…DO NOT PAT the Hao unit on the head whenever he's in this mode! Believe us; we have suffer serious injuries because of it.
Yaoi Mode: (LOCKED)
This mode is lock unless you paid extra for it. This is only due to the fact that we wanted to keep him at pg-13 level. Since most of the children will also buy it for their own sake. The M or M+ level will only be unlocked if you pay extra or placed a naked Yoh unit in front on him to turn on his seductive mode. But seriously, why do you even want to do that?
Destroy Mode:
Self-explain.
FEATURES:
BODYGUARD
Happen to have dozens of enemies who planned to kill you and attack you anytime? Well here's what we got for you! The Hao Unit is a professional fighter! He can kick asses as well as burn them into crisp. You won't be disappointed.
LEADER
The HAO unit is a born leader. He can lead a group of supporters and even a group of crazy fangirls. He even has the feature to be a politician if you want him to. But that isn't a good idea is it. Please remember that the HAO unit also can destroy not only the politics world but the whole world too if he's in the mood.
DESTROYING THE WORLD
For some stupid reason, the manufacturers decided to input this function into the unit to make it more realistic. As if it isn't realistic enough. The Hao unit is capable of destroying the world. UNLESS you carefully turn the off switch off when he's not looking or hugging his Yoh Plushie.
OTHER FEATURES:
Those are the main features. Some of the features here are normal. Believe it or not, your Hao unit is capable of helping you to do the house chores like throwing out the rubbish and stuffs like that. But that is not always a good thing. He might escaped in the process. Hao is also made to cook which is again not a good thing. The kitchen always gets burnt in the process.
Hao is like any average people. He can sing, dance, destroy the world, and even BURN THINGS UP FOR FUN. The worst he could try to burn is the world. But just be careful unless he tried to burn you into crisp. Prepare the ropes then. For some odd reason, he's afraid of ropes.
INTERACTIONS:
Opacho: Close. Try and keep your OPACHO unit on at all times! The HAO unit might find other games to play instead of OPACHO.
YOH: The best unit which is very compatible with Hao so far. (LIMITED EDTION: Comes with fire extinguisher and extra ropes)
REN: Not very good. Preferred to keep them far away from each other or else Spiritual fights may ensued.
ANNA: Quite closed. BUT it will be the best of times to not let your ANNA unit be around the HAO unit. Serious injuries may ensued and don't be surprised when it's all about YOH.
HORO HORO: Distant.
HAO'S FOLLOWERS UNIT (SPECIAL EDITION): If you don't want your Hao to run off with these units to plan how to destroy the world, don't buy this unit or KEEP THEM FAR AWAY from Hao's touch. CHAOS will definitely be the problem here.
HYGEINE:
You would of course, prefer to keep the HAO unit as clean as possible. BUT that will be the problem. The HAO unit comes with another feature, he doesn't like TAKING BATHS! See the fact that no soap is enclosed? Those who want to bath alone has been warned.
WARNING: EVEN THE YOH UNIT WON'T BE DOING MUCH HELP HERE.
ENERGY:
Hao, like other units need energy in order to function properly. Feed him lots and lots of meat-related food. Anyone who tried to make a fool out of him by depositing veggies into his food will suffer. Those who didn't heed this warning at first will be warned again. Don't worry, you won't be dead. The manufacturers have decided on this. BUT you will be SERIOUSLY INJURED. And we meant it.
FAQ:
Q: I'm having trouble with Hao lately. He keeps slobbering on my my Yoh unit.
A: Have you tried the ropes?
Q: HELP! MY HAO WANTS TO KILL ME! I FED HIM VEGGIES!
A: No comment on that.
Q: My Hao unit has been down every since I get him out of that box. What can I do to help?
A: O.o Send him back to the factory and we'll redo it again. Seems like someone gave you the SAD version which is still under beta.
Q: Hey! I thought Hao's supposed to have long hair. But I got a short haired one instead. The package is all shiny too! Not like the one which I ordered! And Is till don't think it's Yoh.
A: O.O Oh my god! What you have there dear, is the ASAKURA TWINS LIMITED EDITION. I'm sure it comes with more reasonable outfits as well as extra features and accessories. The Unit can be converted into Hao or Yoh depending on how you set it. And now, that's a COLLECTOR'S ITEM. You're so lucky to even have one.
Q: My Hao has not been functioning properly ever since I bought the ANNA unit! What's wrong here?
A: Seems like your Hao unit has a deep grudge against the ANNA unit. Prepare the ropes. Or else, something bad might happen.
Q: MY HAO UNIT DOESN'T COME WITH ROPES! WHAT SHOULD I DO! AHHHH!
A: IMMEDIATELY send it back to us! Other ropes will not be effective unless it comes with the accessories. BUT a Yoh unit will be greatly preferred at this time to lure him back into the box.
Q: My friends found out that I got a HAO unit.
A: Bad news for you. The HAO unit doesn't come with a function for dealing with fangirls. QUICK! Hide him everywhere! But don't squeeze him or forced him into some place which he doesn't like.
WARRANTEE:
Since that a warning has been placed all around the box, for safety reasons, Hao will be on a warrantee as long as the YOH unit doesn't break. If the YOH unit does break, quickly run out of the house and hide. Call us immediately so we can send a group of specialist to capture the HAO unit. ROPES are not useful this time. We will only give back your HAO if you bought another YOH unit. But we strongly suggest you to buy insurance in case our specialists go missing/dead in the process.
Phew…That took me long enough to finish it. Now, can you PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY BY REVIEWING? It isn't that hard. Just click on that purple button and submit a review for me. Onegai ne?